Breathe
by acciodanrad9
Summary: A story about a girl who doesn't believe in true love, and a boy who is determined to never love again. A story about tragedy, second chances, and learning to move on.
1. That Night

**A/N:** _Hey, everyone! I'm back with another Keith story! This idea has been in my head for at least a year and I'm excited to finally start writing it. I hope you all enjoy it! _

_I also want to thank Purple Shamrock 17 for countless late night chats about this story and for being a great beta reader. Without her, this story probably would never have made it on this site!_

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><p><em>Breathe<em>

**Chapter One: That Night**

"Sit down, Keith. Your dad and I have something to tell you."

Instead of sitting down, Keith blurted out, "Are you guys getting a divorce?"

Silence followed and the longer it lasted, Keith's fear seemed to be confirmed. He sat down at the kitchen table, finally, but only because his legs were shaking so hard he didn't think he could stand up anymore. Then his parents started laughing, and not just normal laughing, but seriously cracking up.

Biting his lip, Keith glanced at his parents questionably. "Oh, Keith," his mom, Sandra, gasped, "your expression. So funny."

"I'm glad you find it so funny," he mumbled. His mom tried to apologize, but she couldn't stop laughing, Realizing he was not going to get any answers from her, Keith looked at his dad, Henry. "Uh, Dad?"

"It was your mom's idea." He looked guilty.

Keith turned attention back to his mom. "It was your idea to get the divorce?" he asked aghast. He still didn't understand why getting a divorce was so funny.

"No, son, that's not what I meant," Henry said quickly. "What I meant was your mom and I are not getting a divorce. Your mom just wanted to freak you out."

"Oh," breathed Keith, relief coursing through him. "Okay. Uh, why?"

"This is your mom, Keith."

Keith grinned. "So, what's really going on?"

Sandra, finally able to calm herself, said, "Look outside."

Keith turned around in his seat and looked outside. It was cloudy, not any hint of blue sky peaking through the clouds and it was snowing. Not much, though, just flakes lazily drifting to the ground. "Snow. Wow, Mom, how…interesting."

"I've decided something."

"Yeah?" prompted Keith, spearing a few pancakes, dropping them on his plate, and dousing them in butter and syrup. Now he knew his parents weren't separating, his appetite came back.

"Well, as the only woman in this family I have decided this family needs another tradition."

"How does being the only woman in the family have to do with this?" asked Keith, before putting a huge bite of pancake in his mouth.

"Good question, Keith," piped up Henry.

"That's beside the point." She took a deep breath and then continued, "Anyway, I herby declare every year we skip work and school on the day of the first snow."

"She's losing it," mumbled Keith. His mom was always coming up with random traditions like putting up the Christmas tree at exactly midnight the day after Thanksgiving, eating cake before dinner on their birthdays, and forbidding eating turkey on Thanksgiving.

"What do you think of our newly established tradition?" she asked, eyes gleaming.

"I think it's awesome," grinned Keith. He would be stupid if he didn't. He wasn't about to complain about skipping school.

"There's only one requirement."

"What's that?" asked Henry.

"Oh no," groaned Keith.

"You guys have to tell me I'm the best wife and mother there is."

Henry immediately leaned over and gave Sandra a kiss on the check before saying, "You are the best wife there is."

Sandra turned towards Keith, expectant. "Mom. Seriously. It's embarrassing."

"It's just your father here, Keith. No other witnesses. But, if you don't tell me I'm the best mother there is you can go to school. I'll call your school back right now and tell them you've stopped throwing up everywhere and you're coming in."

"Ugh," grimaced Keith. "Did you need to be so graphic?" He took a sip of his coffee, saving its warmth before saying, "Okay, fine, you're the best mom there is." He meant it, too; he just wasn't going to admit it. He was a teenage boy after all.

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><p>Their day playing hooky was spent with Keith and his dad going everywhere his mom wanted. Apparently his mom had made a list of everything she wanted to do, and there was no discussion allowed for changes. They went to a matinee movie where the three of them spent the entirety of the movie throwing popcorn at the back of people's heads. When they left, Keith wasn't sure how the movie ended, or what it was even about. Then, they got lunch at an expensive restaurant (where they were allowed to get whatever they wanted without worrying about cost), and then the bowling alley where Keith's parents spent the rest of the night trying to beat Keith and were not successful in the slightest.<p>

They left the bowling alley a little after nine. According to his parents, they were tired, but Keith was pretty sure it was because they were sick of losing. The snow and wind had picked up from earlier in the evening; it was now falling down more steadily and the snow that had stuck to the ground earlier in the day had turned to ice.

Keith pulled his jacket closer to him, wishing he had worn a warmer one when his mom suddenly called, "Catch," before throwing something at him. Keith caught the object she had thrown at him; he felt cold metal in his hand and a grin graced his face.

Keys.

He figured he knew what this meant, but he asked anyway, "Does this mean—?"

"Yup, you can drive."

"Wow, Mom, you and Dad trust me enough to drive your baby? Was your pop spiked?"

"Don't make us change our minds, Keith," said Henry in his gruff voice, but Keith could tell he was trying to hide a smile.

Keith almost slipped on the ice in his haste to make it to the truck. The opportunity to drive his parents around in their truck didn't arise that often so he took the longest route home. It wasn't until Keith started crossing a bridge (it wasn't a very big bridge, but it was the only way to get home) did he realize his terrible mistake.

A terrible mistake.

The first thing he noticed was, on this side of town, the snow was blowing in every direction and was coming down faster. The snowstorm looked like it was going to turn into a blizzard. Keith could see the shimmer of ice on the road with the aid of headlights of passing cars. He gripped the steering wheel so tightly he was sure there would be indents in his hands afterward. He had a bad feeling about this.

Driving and working on cars (especially trucks), were Keith's favorite hobbies. Ever since he had been old enough he had helped his dad out at the car shop they owned. Even though he had been around cars his whole life and had his license for almost a year, he still got nervous driving in bad weather.

He knew, even though he didn't tell his parents how nervous he was, they could tell. The last thing his mom had said was a few minutes ago and it had been something about how this weather was fairly uncommon for the beginning of October in Michigan.

Keith was inching his way slowly cross the bridge. He had almost made it across when his mom suddenly let out a noise, which sounded between a scream and sob (Keith wasn't sure what it was, he just knew he never _ever_ wanted to hear it come out of her again), and he saw headlights coming toward them.

Without thinking, his body reacted before his mind did and he turned the steering wheel to the right—too sharp, too fast, and just all _wrong_—and he knew it was going to happen before it did, the harsh and painful impact of hitting the guardrail of the bridge.

Keith's head slammed against the car window; his vision went dizzy and his ears started to ring and he lost what little—if any—control he had on the truck. Dazed and disoriented from the pain, it took Keith few seconds to get his hands back on the steering wheel, but he was too late. Just as his hands gripped the steering wheel, there was another impact and Keith's head hit the back of his seat. He couldn't move; his head was throbbing painfully and dark spots flashed in front his vision, making it impossible to even attempt to try and do something. All he could do was sit there and watch as the airbags finally deployed and the front window of his truck shattered, showering the interior or the car like rain. And then, the truck was _spinning spinning spinning_.

Then the spinning stopped and all Keith could _see taste feel_ was cold. It took his brain a few seconds to put everything together.

The truck was sinking.

Water was flooding the truck.

Keith started to panic.

He didn't know what to do. He tried to remember what he learned in Driver's Ed, but his head hurt too much. It was too hard to focus on anything. He knew he had to do something. But his head hurt and he was so helplessly confused.

The water was halfway up his chest when suddenly everything clicked.

He needed to get him and his parents out of the truck or they were going to die.

At this revelation, he turned to his right, fingers fumbling as he tried to take off his seatbelt while glancing at his parents. His mom's head was resting against the window and his dad's head had lulled forward, chin resting on his chest. As the water steadily rose, he tried to say their names, but he was so cold; his teeth were chattering, and he couldn't form any words. He half climbed half crawled towards his parents, but even though he could barely understand what was going on, against the pounding of his head, he knew neither of them being awake was a bad sign. With the temperature of the water, they should be up by now, cold, scared, and frantic but they weren't.

No matter how hard Keith shook his mom she didn't wake. He knew he needed to try and rescue them, but the water was rising too fast and he only had a few seconds to take frantic gulps of air before water covered him completely.

It was dark and he couldn't see anything, but knew his only means of escape was the broken windshield; he couldn't see what he was doing, he just swam on pure instinct. Just as he thought he was about to pass out from the pain, cold, _everything_, his head broke the surface of the water and he breathed in deep gulps of air, trying to fill his lungs with as much oxygen as he could, but he didn't have enough energy to keep himself afloat, and he was only able to get a few gulps of air before he was being pulled back under the water.

He wasn't sure which way was up, he was so disoriented. All he wanted right now was air so he could _breathe_. He felt his body give up before his mind did and all he felt was water; it was suffocating him, surrounding him. Its arms were gripping him, wanting to make him prisoner to their world.

And there was nothing he could do.

It was over.

He was on the brink of unconsciousness when he felt something grab him and start pulling him. And, then, everything went black.

When he woke, he was being laid carefully onto some rocky surface and heard a man's frantic voice calling, "Is there anyone else in the car?" Keith couldn't answer; instead, he leaned over and threw up, causing his head to hurt even more. Someone was rubbing his back and when he was done the same male voice asked again, "Is there anyone else in the car?"

And then Keith remembered.

He couldn't believe he had forgot, couldn't believe it hadn't been the first thing on his mind; he was never going to forgive himself. He sat up so fast his vision swam and his head felt like it was going to rip in half it hurt so badly. "Stop!" a different voice called, a girl's voice. She then gently grabbed his shoulder and laid him back down onto the ground. "Don't move too much, I don't know what's—"

"M-My p-parents." Keith's teeth were chattering so hard he wasn't sure they could understand what he was saying, "My parents," Keith repeated. The man must've understood because he took off in a dead run towards the water.

Keith went to say something again but the women just whispered, her voice gentle and sweet, "Shhh. Alex's gone to save them, honey. It's okay." Keith stared at her blankly, his mind trying to process what she was saying. "Can you tell me your name?"

He had to think for a few seconds. "K-Keith," he finally stuttered out. Yes, that was his name. Keith. Keith Zetterstrom.

"Nice to meet you, Keith. I'm Rachael." Keith wanted to keep talking to her, to ask her questions, but his eyes kept falling closed and he was so tired. "Wait! Don't go to sleep. An ambulance is on its way. You need to wait a few more minutes before you can go to sleep. Can you tell me how old you are?"

"S-sixteen?" He wasn't sure this was the correct answer, but it sounded good enough. His vision was going blurry and everything hurt and he was so cold and so tired.

"That's great, Keith. So you must be a sophomore in high school?"

"Um. N-No. Junior. I'm a j-junior. I think."

"Only two more years to go. Do you have a favorite class?"

Keith knew he did, but right now it was getting harder to form his thoughts together. "Math. No, no, I-I mean s-science. Science is my f-favorite class. O-Or both."

"Oh really? Those were my worse classes in high school. You must be really smart."

"Not-not really." If he was so smart, how did he allow himself in this position? "I-m c-cold," he stuttered.

"Oh. Hang on." He felt something warm fall onto him. "My coat. It's probably not that warm, but I'm sure the ambulance has blankets…it should…"

Keith focused his attention on Rachael's voice. He gripped on to it and tried not to let it go; he needed something to hang on to.

His eyes were getting heavy and it took everything he had to keep them open. Then he heard an ambulance and he hoped whoever was hurt was going to be okay.

Keith took his attention off the ambulance when Alex appeared by Rachael's side.

"I-I couldn't," he started his voice a whisper, but Keith could still hear him. "The car—I couldn't find it."

It took Keith a few seconds to realize what Alex was saying. "No," he whispered. "M-My parents."

Rachael gave Alex a look and he stopped talking, looking guilty. "Shh. Keith, it's okay."

But it wasn't okay. Nothing was okay. He felt himself start to shake harder at the realization at what was happening. Where were his parents?

"I-I think he's going into shock," said Rachael and Keith saw she was talking to two new people. EMTs. When had they arrived?

The EMTs were looking at him now, talking to him (he thought), but their words didn't process. He could only see their lips moving.

Then, he was being lifted onto a small cot, before something—blankets—were being laid on him.

Everything was too much and he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. Everything hurt and he just wanted to sleep.

_I'm sorry_, he thought as he finally let his eyes drift closed_. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you trusted me._

_I'm so sorry._

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><p><strong>AN:** _Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!_


	2. Pretending

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! This story will be written in alternating points of view so this next chapter is in Natalie's POV. Keith's POV will be odd numbered chapters and Natalie's will be even. _

_And now here's chapter two!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Pretending<strong>

"Why can't you just do one thing right? One simple thing!"

"Because you always find something wrong with everything I do!"

"That is not—"

Natalie Anderson groaned as she rolled over on her stomach, pulling her pillow over her head to try and block out the sound of her parents screaming. Her parents continued to yell, their screams seeping through the walls, her pillow, and it was all she could hear and feel; it surrounded her.

Knowing she wasn't going to be able to fall asleep again, she sat up in bed and glancing at the clock on her nightstand saw it was only five forty-five in the morning; she had only been asleep for four hours.

Wanting to get away from the yelling, she started packing her bag. Just as she slipped into sweatpants and was pulling her hair into a loose ponytail, the door to her bedroom slowly opened. A few moments later, a tiny head appeared in the doorway.

"Natalie?" her sister, Cynthia, called. Her voice was shaky and scared sounding.

"Morning, Cynthia, what's up?" asked Natalie, even though she knew exactly why Cynthia was up so early.

At the reassurance Natalie wasn't going to kick her out, she tiptoed into the room. She was already dressed for school, backpack resting on her shoulders. "I wanna come with you."

"Cynthia, it's only six in the morning, you should still be sleeping. You have school today."

"So do you."

_Good point_, thought Natalie. "Yeah, but I'm older." That statement _always _worked. "Plus, I'm going to the pool before school, you'd be bored. How about you go see what Zach is doing?"

At that moment, their parents' voices grew louder and Natalie saw Cynthia visibly flinch. "He didn't come home again," she said in a rush. "Please?" Cynthia begged, bringing her lower lip out in a point.

With that look, Natalie didn't have any choice but to cave in. "Okay," Cynthia smiled and Natalie gave her one back. "Hey," started Natalie, eyes gleaming, "I have an idea."

"What?" asked Cynthia, eyes gleaming with excitement.

"How about we go to breakfast?"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

A huge smile graced Cynthia's face. "Can we go to McDonald's?"

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><p>Ten minutes later, Natalie and Cynthia were sitting in a booth, food in front of them. "Natalie," spoke up Cynthia hesitantly, as she took a bite of her breakfast sandwich, "why are Mom and Dad fighting all the time?"<p>

Natalie took a sip of her coffee, giving herself a few seconds to come up with the best way to answer her. "I don't…I don't really know." Honestly, this _was_ true. She had yet to gain the courage to actually talk to her mom or dad about what was going on. Part of her thought if she ignored the fighting long enough, everything would be normal again. But since their first fight in June, they only increased in number.

"Oh," said Cynthia softly. "Are they gonna get divorced?"

"What makes you think that? And where did you hear about that? You're only ten!"

Cynthia shrugged. "I dunno. This girl at school told me about it, said her parents got a divorce after they started fighting all the time."

"Look, Cynthia," started Natalie. "I don't know why Mom and Dad have been fighting, but just because they are doesn't meant they're going to get a divorce, okay?"

Cynthia nodded thoughtfully, and then asked, "But that also means they could get one, right?"

"Yeah," answered Natalie, "they could. But, I'd like to think that they will try and work it out first."

"I hope so. Hey, Natalie?"

"Yeah?"

"If Mom and Dad love each other so much how can they fight and yell at each other?"

Natalie frowned. "I've been asking myself that as well. I'll let you know if I figure it out."

"Okay," said Cynthia. "And I'll let you know if I do."

Natalie laughed. "Deal."

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><p>It was six thirty when they finished their breakfast and made their way to a family-owned recreation center, where Natalie spent a great deal of her time swimming. She set Cynthia up in a corner, where she instructed her to try and get some more sleep. She used a swim bag as a pillow and her towel as a blanket.<p>

It worked. Before Natalie had even stepped in the pool, Cynthia was asleep.

As always, before Natalie started her workout she dove under the water, and as soon as she was completely under she felt her whole body relax.

She could finally _breathe_.

Water was the one place where everything was all right. There were no screaming parents, no scared sister, no aloof brother, no nothing.

It was just her and the water.

And it was perfect.

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><p>Natalie made it to school with ten minutes to spare before class. When she got to her locker her boyfriend, Raff, was standing there. She smiled as she neared him, but as she closed the space between them, her smile faded at the upset expression on his face.<p>

"What's up?" she breathed, concerned. While waiting for him to respond, she opened her locker to get her books.

"You didn't text me."

"What?" she asked, shocked. She remembered texting him for hours last night. "What do you mean? We texted all night last night."

"You didn't text me this morning. You forget or something?"

"Oh." She had forgotten to text him when she woke up. "Yeah, I'm sorry, some crap went on his morning."

"Really? Like what? Is someone hurt? It must've been bad if you couldn't remember to text your _boyfriend_."

"No one's hurt. I just—my parents were yelling and I just." She stopped suddenly and instead just said, "Look, I'm sorry. I won't forget again, all right?"

At this, he smiled before leaning over and hugging her. "Sounds good, baby." He pulled away when the five-minute bell rang. "Class time. I'll see you at lunch."

"See you," said Natalie. As she watched Raff walk down the hallway, she thought about their relationship. She and Raff had only been dating since May, and she liked him. He was good for her. He brought her flowers on random days; he took her out on dates and paid; and he called her when he said he would. He was a bit controlling and needy, but she tried to convince herself he acted this way because really liked her. She was comfortable and happy enough with Raff and that was all she needed (even if she liked _pretending _there was a guy out there who would give her everything she needed but also _wanted_).

The problem was, sometimes she got a weird feeling when she was around him, like she would do _anything_ to be anywhere but with him. A lot of times, especially when she lay awake at night, she wondered if they were meant to be. She couldn't stop asking herself where the passion was, the romance that was suppose to make her weak in the knees, and sometimes, she wondered if any of that stuff really existed. Most of the time, she would stop worrying and wondering and wishing when she heard her parents start yelling again. It was stupid to stress over her relationship with Raff when she was beginning to learn there was no such thing as true love. Real life relationships would never be like fairytales or movies.

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><p>The house was empty when Natalie got home and for that she was grateful. This was always her favorite time of the day, because it was quiet and peaceful and she could sleep for a few hours. Before her parents got home from work and the tension seeped back into the house like a nightly curse.<p>

She went straight to her room and tossed her bag on the floor on the way to her bed. Quickly, she changed into sweats before she crawled under the covers and drifted off to sleep.

It felt like she had just fallen asleep when she was being shaken awake. Although, when she opened her eyes, she was greeted with darkness.

She blinked the sleep from her eyes and before she could see who had woken her up, her mom said, "Natalie, what do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm sleeping. Well, was."

Caroline sighed loudly. "You really need to stop this unhealthy sleeping schedule. It's not good for your immune system and it'll start affecting your complexion and—"

"Mom," started Natalie, sitting up. "I really don't want another lecture, okay? I'm fine. What do you want?"

"Cynthia told me that you took her to McDonald's for breakfast this morning. Is that true?" When Natalie didn't answer Caroline added, "I found a kids' meal toy her in backpack, and she admitted you took her there this morning."

"Oh. Um, yeah, I did."

"You need to stop doing that, Natalie. It's not healthy for you and Cynthia to eat all that grease and fat and who knows what else at those fast food places."

"Mom, I've only taken her out twice since school started, it's not a big deal. I don't think it'll kill her."

"Don't use that tone with me, young lady."

"I'm not using any tone! She's only ten and with the way she eats at home I think she can handle McDonald's like a normal kid once and a while."

"That's enough," said Caroline Sternly. "If you keep talking to me like that—"

Natalie wasn't sure what made her do it but as she got out of bed and put on her shoes she said, "You know what? This wouldn't be a problem if you and Dad didn't wake her up every morning with your fighting."

There.

She did it.

She brought up the fighting. She finally stopped pretending she always turned a deaf ear when they started yelling. Her mom stood there, shocked and Natalie took that moment to escape. Without saying anything she left her mom standing there, as she walked out of her house and into the darkness of the night.

As she drove away, Natalie knew that it wasn't a good sign when she felt more at home in her car and driving, than she did in her actual house.

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><p>For the rest of the night, Natalie drove around, stopping at parks to walk around the swing sets. Using the moon as her flashlight, she thought about her life and wondered how everything could go from being perfect to falling apart in a several months.<p>

When her feet got too tired and her body too cold, she made her way to her favorite place away from home (besides the water), The Pancake Hut. It was a diner only a few miles away from her house.

The Pancake Hut was old. It had been around since Natalie was born. When she was younger, her parents would drive by it on their way out of town and she would press her nose against the car window, trying to get a whiff of pancakes and get as close to the building as she could. She had only been there a few times when she was little, mostly on her birthday because her mom deemed it too unhealthy.

The day Natalie had got her driver's license she went to The Pancake Hut. Finally, she was able to order what she wanted without her mom breathing down her neck.

And ever since that night, she went at least once a week to sneak a cup of coffee or a piece of pie. But since the past summer, it had become almost a nightly ritual. It was nice to listen to noise of happy families and couples rather than yelling, screaming, and with mean words that tried to hide behind corners and closed doors.

Natalie finished reminiscing and parked her car, walking into the familiar warmth of the diner as she made her way to her favorite booth. It was in the far corner of the diner, hidden by most people. As soon as she sat down, she grabbed one of her romance novels (that her mom would hate) out of her purse and began to read.

She read romance novels because they had what she so desperately wanted in her life: passion and even if it wasn't possible, love. She knew by reading them she was setting herself up for more disappointment, but she couldn't help it. With every turn of the page, the words flowing like a song, she became who she was before everything started to fall apart. She was a girl who was happy and still truly and honestly believed there was a guy out there that would make her knees weak and butterflies to appear in her stomach. She was a girl who dreamed of finding the right guy, and there was no such thing as settling, because she still believed in true love.

But.

She wasn't that girl anymore.

Natalie was interrupted from her chapter as someone set down a steaming hot cup of coffee and a piece of pie on the table.

"One Mystery Pie for you. On the house as always."

Natalie grinned, looking up. "Thanks, Julie." She grabbed a fork and dug in, eyes closing at the sweet and tart taste. There was a hint of raspberries and cranberries and something else that she had never been able to discern. Mango maybe? She swallowed and then asked, "Are you ever going to tell me what's in this?"

"What do you think?"

"Uh…yes?"

Julie laughed. "Good try, Natalie, and you know the answer. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"A lot. Every day, really," said Natalie, before she took a sip of her coffee.

Julie's smile diminished slightly at this. "You come here too much, Natalie," she said sadly.

Natalie gave her a slight smile, hoping it told Julie that she agreed, but she just couldn't go home. "Thanks for the pie, Julie."

Julie patted Natalie's shoulder before walking away. Natalie sat back against her seat, resuming her novel while taking occasional bites of her pie.

It was nearing midnight, Natalie knew from the emptiness of the diner and the silence that had taken place over the previous noise, when her phone rang.

She stared at her phone's screen for a few seconds surprised Melissa was calling her so late. Natalie had been watching Melissa's dog, Bailey, for the past few years and only spoke to her every few months. "Hello?" she hesitantly answered.

"Natalie? This is Melissa Hartling."

"Hey, Melissa."

"I hope I didn't wake you. I just—"

"No, you're fine. I was just reading."

"Oh good. Um…" Melissa was breathing deeply, as if she was trying to calm herself down or prevent herself from crying. Both possibilities freaked Natalie out. Melissa was always so put together that this unsettled Natalie.

"What's up?" encouraged Natalie, when it didn't seem like Melissa was going to speak.

Another deep breath before, "There's been an emergency and I need to fly to Michigan. I-I was wondering if you could watch Bailey for me."

"Sure."

"Oh, great. Thank you so much."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I-I'm really sorry, but I have no idea. I bought a one-way ticket. It should only be a week or two."

"That's fine. Just take as much time as you need."

"Thanks. My flight leaves at six tomorrow morning, so if you could just stop by a few times a day to feed and let him out, that's all you'll need to do."

"Great. I look forward to seeing him."

"Thanks again, Natalie. And sorry for the late notice. Remember, you can always call me if you need anything."

"I will. Have a safe flight, Melissa. And don't worry about Bailey; he's in good hands. Oh, and I-I hope everything is…okay in Michigan."

"Thank you. I'll call you a few times to check up. Have a good night."

And then the line went dead.

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><p><strong>AN:** _Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you think!_


	3. One Thing

**A/N:** _Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You guys are awesome!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Three: One Thing<strong>

Keith felt like someone was taking a hammer and hitting his head repeatedly with it. All he felt was pain; it surrounded him like a vice.

He tried to move his hand to feel why his head was hurting so much, but something—or someone—was holding it down.

Frantic, he tried to move it again, but he didn't have enough strength and gave up. "Keith?" A tired voice called. The voice was familiar, and Keith tried to place it, but with the pain he was in he couldn't think straight. All he could tell was it was a woman. He opened his eyes, hoping he'd be able to recognize the person by sight, but it hurt his head to keep them open and he closed them after a few seconds, never getting a good look.

Instead, he let out a low, painful sounding moan for an answer. "Oh thank god," breathed the same voice. "Are you in pain?" Keith tried to say yes, but he couldn't get his mouth to form any words. Thankfully, the woman understood, and said, "I'll get the nurse, okay? Hang on a second."

And then she was gone, and so was the pressure on his hand. She had been _holding_ his hand. He wasn't sure how long he was alone, but then there were voices and he heard them talking about _medicine_ and _no more pain_.

The relief was almost immediate. Warmth filled him up and he let out a sigh of relief. "Better?" the familiar voice asked.

He cleared his throat. "Better," he croaked out. "Can I—water?"

Seconds later, he felt something against his lips and the familiar voice said, "Drink," so he did.

The water was cool against his throat and he drank greedily. When he was done he asked, "W-where am I?"

"The hospital."

He took a few seconds to process this. "What happened?"

"Don't worry about that right now." The voice seemed nervous, and if he hadn't been so tired and confused he would've asked why. "You should go back to sleep."

He wanted to, so he allowed himself to fall back into blissful darkness.

* * *

><p>The next time Keith woke, he felt a little better. The only reminder he had been in pain was dull throb that was persistent throughout his whole body. This time he could open his eyes and keep them open. He took in the white walls and wires attached to his left arm before he glanced to his right. Sitting in a chair a few feet away and reading a book was his aunt. She was tall and skinny and her hair, which fell past her shoulders, was the same color as Keith's.<p>

"Aunt Melissa?" called Keith hesitantly.

At the sound of his voice, his aunt jumped and looked straight at him. "Oh, Keith, you're awake." She got up, placing the book she was reading on her chair before walking the short distance to him. "Are you feeling okay? You look like you're feeling better."

"Yeah, I feel a little better. W-what happened? Why am I in the hospital? How long have I been here?"

She seemed nervous, and it took her a few seconds to speak. "You were in a car accident. Do you remember?" she asked.

He thought for a moment, but everything was foggy. "Maybe a little, not much though." As soon as he said this, though, he did remember something. His parents. They had been with him. "My parents. Where are they? Are they okay?" He jolted up so fast he got dizzy and had to close his eyes for a few seconds.

When he opened his eyes, he felt his heart sink when he looked into his aunt's face: full of despair, pain, and immense sadness. When she spoke, her voice was tight. "Shh. Calm down. First, you've been here about a day—it's Saturday night. You came in around ten on Friday."

He didn't want to hear the answer to his previous questions anymore; he just wanted to know where his parents were. "Where are my parents?" His heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to pass out.

His aunt grabbed his hand and this time he didn't find it at all comforting. His aunt was quiet for a while, like she had to prepare herself for something. Finally, she spoke, "Sweetie, your parents they-they passed away in the accident. I'm so sorry. The police said they were hit head on and—"

"No," Keith whispered, voice sounding far away, like it wasn't even coming from him. "No, they're not dead. I just saw them yesterday. That guy…there was a guy…he saved me. He went to save my parents; he _saved_ them. Just ask him." He looked at his aunt desperately, but when she didn't say anything, he felt himself start shaking.

"I'm so sorry, Keith." A quiet sob ripped through her before, "I know you don't want to believe me, but—"

"STOP LYING TO ME!" Keith screamed, surprising himself with the fierce amount of anger pouring out of him. He screamed so loudly and so forcefully his throat, head, and ears hurt. "Stop lying to me," he demanded, voice weaker this time; he was close to crying.

His parents were dead.

Gone.

He was never going to see them again.

"Keith. Please, _please_ tell me what you need."

_I need my parents_. "I need to be alone right now."

"I can't do that," said Melissa. "I can't just leave you alone. Not after what I just told you."

"Yes, you can," he said. "I don't want you here right now."

But she didn't leave.

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" he screamed, not caring it hurt his already raw throat. The physical kind of pain was better than the pain he was feeling inside. "GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Keith, please calm down. I—"

He took a deep breath. "Fine. If you won't leave, I will."

When she didn't move, he shoved the sheets off of himself and got out of bed. Pain erupted in his left leg when his feet touched the floor, staggering him. But it didn't stop him from grabbing the chair his aunt had been sitting in and throwing it against the wall. The violent act didn't do anything to help his pain, the grief he was feeling, only caused him to put more pressure on his leg and he fell forward, not being able to hold himself up anymore.

Someone caught him before he could fall to the ground; strong arms wrapped around him and held on tight. "Shh," was all his aunt said. And for some reason, it helped him calm down. She moved him onto his bed, and he did nothing to stop her.

It wasn't until he was lying down and his aunt grabbed a hold of his hand again did he notice the wetness on his cheeks. He was crying.

* * *

><p>Fifteen hours.<p>

Fifteen hours had passed since he had been told his parents were dead.

When he first awakened, for a few blissful seconds, he thought everything was normal—he was at home, in his bed, and his parents were just down the hall.

But then he remembered.

Remembering felt like a punch to the gut; the only difference was, he never stopped hurting.

His doctor only visited once since Keith had regained consciousness. His visit had been brief, consisting of him going over Keith's injuries: mild concussion (his memory should return completely in a few days) and a deep cut in the calf of his left leg (stitches would come out in a few weeks).

Now, it was lunchtime on Sunday and all he had to do before he could leave the hospital was eat lunch, but the problem was: "I'm not hungry." His stomach felt strange, like he might be sick. But it had felt like that for hours and he hadn't been sick yet, so he thought it was just sadness; it was everywhere—surrounding him, engulfing him.

"Keith," said Melissa who hadn't left his side but once to go get him some clothes earlier in the morning.

"Please eat. The doctor said—"

"I know what he said," hissed Keith. "I was here, wasn't I? And I didn't say I wasn't going to eat, just that I'm not hungry."

"Okay."

It took him almost an hour to eat his soup and salad. As soon as he had taken the last bite he asked, "Can we leave now?"

"Let me go ask the nurse, Kate, okay? I know she wants to do one final checkup."

"Whatever. Can I at least change into my clothes you brought?"

She looked like she wanted to object, but relented anyway. She picked up the bag next her chair and handed it to him. "Do you need help getting to the bathroom?"

"_No_. I'm not five." He grabbed the bag from her.

"I meant because of the crutches." She handed him the pair of crutches that had been leaning against the wall near his bed.

His mind had been so occupied with other things he had forgot he had to use crutches until the stitches in his leg came out, since they were in a location where walking could cause them to rip out. "I think I can handle it," he said sarcastically. As gracefully as he could, he hobbled into the bathroom, slamming the door for added affect behind him.

He purposefully avoided the mirror, not fully ready to see how different he looked. He had to look different, right? He changed into his clothes (jeans, t-shirt, and hoodie). His aunt had also packed some toiletries for him, but he didn't have the energy to do more than brush his teeth. After that, he gained the courage to look in the mirror.

He did look different. And it wasn't because he had deep, angry bruises covering the left side of his face from where he had hit his head, or that his skin was paler than usual. It was because he didn't recognize the person staring back. He didn't look like Keith Zetterstrom anymore; he was gone. Or, at least for now, he had disappeared.

He wasn't sure how long he had been staring into the mirror when he heard someone knock on the bathroom door. "Keith? Are you okay?"

"I'm—" His voice cracked and he cleared his throat before finishing, "I'm fine. I-I'll be out in a second."

Wanting to get away from the hospital, he placed the hood from his sweater on his head (it made him feel safe for some reason) before walking out. Nurse Kate was there; she gave him a small smile as he walked over to her.

"Hey, Keith. How're you feeling?" He stared at her blankly. "Okay, I'm just going to check your stats and then you'll be free to go." She gestured to the bed and he sat down. He sat there numbly as she took his blood pressure and made notes on his chart. "Everything looks good. Just make sure to stay hydrated and get a good night's sleep. Remember, you may have headaches for a while, and your memory should come back in the next few days." She stepped away from him and stared at him for a few seconds before shaking her head in disbelief and saying, "You were extremely lucky to not have more serious injuries."

Lucky? He was _lucky_? He lost both of his parents. He wouldn't call that lucky. "Can I leave now?"

"Yeah, in just a minute," said Kate. "There's something I wanted to talk to you and your aunt about."

Keith was silent, so Melissa spoke up, "Sure. What is it?"

"Keith, you've been through a terrible trauma. You lost both of your parents and—"

"Do we have to talk about this?" he asked rudely, standing up. Why did everyone have to remind him of the one thing he was trying to forget?

"Just hear what she's trying to say, Keith," said Melissa, giving him a pleading look.

"Fine." He sat back down. He only agreed because he figured he would be forced to stay and listen anyway.

"I was just going to say it might be a good idea for you to attend some counseling sessions. It'll be good to talk about what you've been through. It's not healthy to keep things in, and talking to someone could really help. I've seen many patients do extremely well after a few sessions; it's a great outlet to figure out how to deal with your grief."

"I'm not crazy."

"Keith, counseling doesn't mean you're crazy. It just means you need someone to talk to, someone to express your feelings and help you through this trying time. We have some great references we can give you."

He stood up. "That's great advice and all, but I think I'll be fine. Thanks, though." And with that he left his room, not checking to see if his aunt was following him.

* * *

><p>As soon as they got home, Keith immediately told his aunt he had a headache and was going to take a nap. Being in his house, without his parents, made everything more real. He slept the rest of the day, and woke to noise coming from the kitchen. He went downstairs to see what his aunt was doing.<p>

"Hey," she said, turning to look at him, "are you feeling all right?" He shrugged. "Great. I hope you're hungry. I got some take-out. At that Chinese place down the street? Have you been there?"

Keith sat down at the table, which was already set with half a dozen white containers of food. "Yeah, it's good."

Melissa seemed relieved. "Good. I don't know what you like, so I got a few things for you to pick from."

Dinner was silent and almost a little awkward. It wasn't until they were almost done eating when Keith asked, "How long are you going to be here?" As soon as he asked this, though, a thought struck him: Where was he supposed to go once she left?

"However long I need to."

Keith took a bite of his sesame chicken, and before he could prevent himself he asked, "Where am I supposed to go once you leave?"

She took a sip of her drink before saying, "Keith, your parents they wanted you...you're going to come live with me. Your mom wanted—"

"Oh, okay." He didn't know why he was so surprised, but he was. He should've suspected she would. It wasn't like he had any other family that could take him in. "Um, where do you live again?"

"Illinois. Few hours from Chicago. I-I know this will be hard for you. There will be a lot of adjusting. But I promise to make you as comfortable as possible and you won't be alone, okay?"

He nodded, even though he was pretty sure he was going to feel alone for a long, long time.

* * *

><p>On Monday, Keith slept.<p>

* * *

><p>On Tuesday, the calls started. Most of them were from distant family members and his parents' friends. The calls consisted of people saying things like: <em>We're so sorry<em> (the last thing he wanted to hear), or _It'll get better soon_ (doubtful), and _We're here for you, we'll give you anything you need _(all he needed was his parents).

After the tenth call, he unplugged the phone.

* * *

><p>On Wednesday, he remembered.<p>

The memories came back to him during sleep, and he woke drenched in sweat and shaking. His chest hurt and his throat tightened and he couldn't breathe, because now he knew. He had _killed _his parents. Now, he was not only full of pain and sadness, but guilt, too. And the guilt?

It was worse.

* * *

><p>On Thursday, he attended his parents' funeral. He didn't remember anything else about the day.<p>

* * *

><p>On Friday, he had a visitor.<p>

Keith had been lying on his bed, listening to music when someone walked into his room. "I told you, I'm not hungry," he said ripping out an ear bud and glancing to his right. When he saw it was his friend Bret he sat up in bed and asked accusingly "Who let you in?"

"Hi to you, too. And your aunt did."

"Oh." He watched as Bret sat down in his computer chair a few feet away from him.

"Dude, why have you been ignoring my calls? E-mails? Do you know how fucking worried I've been? I had to find out from people at school what happened."

Keith shrugged. "Sorry."

"Keith," started Bret, running his fingers through his hair nervously, "I'm so fucking sorry, man. I-I don't know what to say."

"Saying nothing is good."

"Are you serious?" At this, Bret stood up, throwing his arms up. "Talk to me, man. I mean we're supposed to be friends and you didn't even call me. Just—" He stopped, making his voice softer, "talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about. They're dead. It's over. I'm moving on."

"Oh, right. Moving on. Is that why you look so tired you're about to pass out? And what is with that damn hood?"

Keith touched the hood on his head. He had been wearing it like this since he left the hospital. "I dunno."

His response seemed to anger Bret more. "That all you have to say? 'I dunno'?"

"Sorry."

Bret sighed. "Look, I just stopped by to see how you were holding up and to tell you how sorry I am. And, you know," he started voice soft, "you don't need to be moving on already. You're allowed time to grieve."

"Okay. You did that, so you can leave now."

Bret looked defeated. "Fine. Whatever. See ya."

Keith watched Bret leave the room, door slamming behind him.

Not five minutes later, Melissa walked into his room. "Bret seems nice," she said. "Have you been friends long?"

Instead of answering her, he said, "I wanna leave. We're leaving tomorrow." He knew it was a crazy request, and unfair for his aunt as well, but he couldn't help it. He had to get out. He had to leave the place where everything and everyone reminded him of his parents.

"What? Keith, you can't just—"

He took a deep breath. "I want to leave tomorrow." His voice cracked and he knew his aunt noticed. _I can't do this anymore_, he wanted to add.

"Okay. Tomorrow it is."

* * *

><p>He didn't realize the actual packing was going to be so painful, which was why by that night Keith had yet to pack one box.<p>

He tried, but everything he owned reminded him of what he had lost and what more he was losing. He started throwing things in the middle of his room—book, CDs, clothes—but it didn't help.

"Keith? What are you—oh."

Breathing heavily, Keith glanced towards his door to see his aunt's eyes frantically taking in the room; her face turned from shocked to worried in a matter or seconds. "What?" he spat. He turned back to his desk he had been tossing notebooks out of.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Packing. What does it look like?"

"It looks like a tornado hit," she stated, trying to lighten the mood.

"This is how I pack. Do you have a problem with it?"

"No, of course not." She walked over, moved some stuff of Keith's bed, and sat down. "Look, honey, if you're changing your mind about leaving tomorrow you can tell me. I won't get mad. We could stay a few more days. It would give us more time. We could even get an actual moving truck so we could pack some of your furniture if that would make you more comfortable."

"No. I don't want to bring all of that crap. I want to leave tomorrow, okay? I don't want," his voice lowered to a whisper and he wasn't sure his aunt even heard him say, "to be here anymore."

"Okay. If you want to leave tomorrow, we'll leave tomorrow." She stood up and grabbed one of the empty boxes and bent down to grab a book that was tossed carelessly on the floor.

Suddenly, Keith stood up and without grabbing his crutches, painfully limped over to her and snatched the book from her. "Don't touch my stuff. I-I can pack myself, okay?"

Melissa dropped the box on the floor, before she rested her hand on Keith's arm. He thought it was supposed to be a comforting gesture; however, it wasn't and he couldn't help but flinch. "Keith, I can't begin to imagine how much pain you're in, and I will do anything to help you through this. I know packing everything has got to be hard, please just let me help you. It'll go by so much faster."

At this, he took a step away from her touch. "No," he mumbled. All the fight seemed to be leaving him. "I want to pack everything myself, all right?"

Melissa didn't look surprised at his declaration. "Just promise me you won't be up too late? At least get a good night's sleep. We can finish any packing in the morning." She waited for Keith to say something, but after a few seconds she left his room, closing the door behind her.

It was six a.m. when Keith finally went to sleep.

* * *

><p>"Why didn't you wake me up?" mumbled Keith. He was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, trying to wake himself up.<p>

"Morning, Keith." Melissa was sitting at the kitchen table; there were papers everywhere. "What can I make you for breakfast?" She got up and walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "We don't have much. Just a few eggs and cheese left."

"I'm not hungry." He stepped farther into the kitchen and asked again, "Why didn't you wake me up? You were supposed to wake me up at eight. We're supposed to be on the road already."

Melissa turned around from to face him. "Because I know you didn't go to bed until six a.m. I wanted you to at least get some sleep. I thought we talked about you getting a decent night's sleep."

"We did talk about it," said Keith, walking over to pour himself a cup of coffee, the only substance he thought he could stomach. "But we only talked about it; I never agreed to it."

Melissa grabbed the rest of the eggs from the fridge and walked over to the stove. "Keith, you're recovering from a concussion, you're suppose to be sleeping a lot and recovering. I'll tell you right now, even though you're doctor cleared you to drive since your injury is only on your left leg, there's no way I'm letting you with only a few hours' of sleep. You can sleep more in the car, then maybe I'll consider it."

"Fine. Whatever. I don't care." He pointed to the bowl that his aunt was mixing the eggs and cheese in. "Oh, and I'm not eating those." And with that, he left, leaving his aunt standing there, speechless.

* * *

><p>They didn't get all of Keith's stuff packed until close to three. With his crutches, Keith was unable to help his aunt load his boxes and bags into the car. Even though he didn't have much, it still took his aunt half the day. While Melissa did the final check of the house, Keith stood in the living room.<p>

"Hey," he heard Melissa softly call as she descended the stairs a few minutes later. "Are you—" She stopped when she saw him. "Why don't I give you a minute? I'll just be in the car." She dropped the house keys into his limp hand.

He made his way through his entire house, trying to say goodbye, but no amount of time was enough. He felt like he was leaving a part of himself here, in his house. When he got to his room, he sat on his bed, trying to calm himself down. But he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried, the prickling behind his eyes and the tightness of his throat wouldn't go away. And then there were tears on his cheeks and he couldn't stop crying.

He hated it.

He hated crying because it meant pain. It meant he wasn't in control and he hated being out of control. He felt like he had been out of control since he lost control of the truck only a week ago.

He was crying harder now, sobs overtaking him. His chest was heaving with the effort to stop crying so he could catch his breath. It didn't work. He couldn't breathe. He felt like he had during the accident, when the water had pulled him under, but this time it was different and so much worse. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't break the surface.

No one was here to save him this time.

* * *

><p>"Are you all right?" Melissa asked as soon as Keith got into his truck. They were driving Keith's truck back to Illinois with them so he would have a car to drive.<p>

No. "I don't know." He knew she could see his red-rimmed eyes, and knew if he had said he was 'fine' she would've made him talk.

Melissa seemed satisfied with the answer and without saying a word, began driving. Keith watched his house through the rearview mirror until they turned a corner and it was gone. "Where are you going?" asked Keith, when his focus on his house was broken. "The highway is that way." He pointed to their left.

"We're going to Starbucks. And you're getting something to eat."

He got a venti coffee and some coffee cake. It had raspberries and blueberries in it. It was actually pretty good, and didn't make him feel like he was going to throw up.

As soon as they got on the highway, his aunt started talking. "So. What grade are you in again?"

"I'm a junior."

"Wow. That's crazy."

"Why?"

"You're just growing up so fast." Keith couldn't argue with that. He felt like he had aged twenty years in the last week. "I just remember when your…I remember when you were born. It seems like yesterday. I'm just so glad you're okay. I was so close to losing you, too."

"Can we not talk about that night? I don't want to have this conversation."

"Okay. I'm sorry." His aunt took a sip of her coffee before saying, "Do you have a favorite subject?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. I like math and science stuff."

"Just like your dad." Keith froze and Melissa must have noticed because she hastily added, "So, what do you do for fun?"

"Um…stuff. Work on cars. Play video games. Why?"

"Just wondering. What kind of video games?"

"What is this? 'Twenty questions'?"

"No, Keith. I'm just trying to make conversation. We don't know each other very well, so I just thought…since we'll be living together I should get to know you more."

_And whose fault is that, _he wanted to say. Keith could count the number of times his aunt had visited him and his parents on one hand. "Well, there's nothing to know, so I don't think we need to be having this conversation anymore." He took three long gulps of his coffee; he didn't care it was still hot and burned his tongue; he wanted to finish it quickly so he could take a nap and stop talking.

"I doubt that."

He took another gulp of his coffee before he said, "Look, my life is really not that interesting, okay? So can we please not do this anymore? I'm tired."

"Okay, Keith, but if you ever want to just talk—"

"I won't. I'm going to take a nap now."

* * *

><p>When he woke, three hours later, it was dark out and his back and neck were aching from the uncomfortable position he had fallen asleep in. He sat up and glanced out of the window. They were stuck in traffic. "Where are we?" He rubbed his face to try and wake himself up.<p>

"Almost to Muskegon. We've been stuck in traffic for the last half hour. How'd you sleep?"

"Fine. Look, can we stop somewhere?"

"Sure. What for? Are you hungry?" She sound too excited about this possibility. "I think I saw a McDonald's sign a few miles back."

"No. I need to go to the bathroom."

"Okay. I think there's a rest stop soon."

Twenty minutes later, they were pulling into a rest stop. When he walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later, his aunt was standing by his truck. When he neared her she said, "Since you took that long nap, I'll let you drive now." She handed him the car keys, which felt like lead in his palm. He wasn't sure why his hands were shaking.

Keith stood there breathing deeply, trying to calm himself down before he got into his truck. He felt lightheaded and his hands were shaking so badly it took him a few seconds to get the keys in the ignition. When the engine started, he felt like he was going to be sick.

He could do this. He loved driving. He didn't want to lose that, too. But as soon as he started backing out, memories flooded him and they were all he could see. He slammed on the brakes, causing the car to jerk forward.

"Keith?" Melissa said, worry hidden behind her words. "What's going on?"

He couldn't answer; he was taking deep gulps of air, trying to get himself to breathe so he could calm down. "I-I can't—" He was shaking so much he felt like he was going to be sick, but he couldn't get himself to move in case he was.

His aunt must've noticed. "Are you going to be sick?"

"I-I don't know. Maybe. Yes. I don't know," he moaned. He wasn't aware of what was going on; the door to his truck opened, someone was taking his seatbelt off, and gently pulling him out of the car. As soon as his feet stood on steady ground, he started dry heaving, as there wasn't much in his stomach. He felt his aunt rubbing comforting circles on his back. When he was sure he was done being sick, he stood up and said, "I-I need to sit down."

His aunt helped him to the sidewalk; he leaned against her as he didn't have his crutches to help fully support him. When he sat down, he started taking in deep gulps of air. He didn't realize he had been alone, until his aunt handed him a bottle of water. "Here. Drink," she said. "It should help."

He drank, and it did help him stop shaking so much; he was slowing calming down. "I'm sorry," he spoke up, voice shaking. "I-I can't drive. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," she demanded. "I can't believe I had you drive. I don't know what I was thinking. After everything you've been through, I can't believe I didn't even think…"

"It's okay, I'm fine now. I think we can go. I want to go."

Melissa stared at him for a few seconds, as if trying to read his face to see if he was lying. Once satisfied she said, "Okay. We can go. But we're going to find a hotel. We've done enough driving for today."

* * *

><p>No matter how much Keith pleaded with his aunt he was okay and they didn't have to stop, they ended up at a hotel, the Shoreline Inn, thirty minutes later.<p>

Keith chose the bed closest to the window. He watched his aunt set up her laptop on the tiny table at the foot of his bed. It wasn't until she had all her paperwork on the table and sat down, did she notice Keith was watching her.

"Everything all right?" she asked.

Keith shrugged. "What are you doing?"

"Just checking my work e-mail. Then I'm going to finish up some paper work and tie up some loose ends."

"Loose ends for what?" The way she said 'loose ends' made Keith think it wasn't work related.

"Just paperwork regarding guardianship of you and getting together the last stuff I need to put your house out for sale." The last part was said in a whisper, like she didn't really want Keith to hear it.

"You're selling my house?" It made sense now, why his aunt had spent the whole week cleaning the house and packing most of the personal items in boxes. At the time, it hadn't occurred to him why she was doing the work.

"I'm sorry. I should've talked to you more about it, Keith. I tried to bring it up, but you, understandably, didn't want to talk. It's the most reasonable thing to do. I promise all of the boxes I packed up we'll come back and get. And anything else you want, like furniture we'll get, okay?" She stopped talking, waiting for Keith to say something. When he didn't she said, "If you want, I can put this on hold. We don't have to do it right away."

"No," said Keith, shaking his head. "It's fine. I mean, they're dead, right? It's stupid to keep it."

"Keith, I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset." He stood up. "I'm going to go look around."

"Sure," said his aunt quickly, as Keith was already by the door. "Try and think of what you'd like to do for dinner while you're out."

His response was the slam of the door.

He wandered around the small hotel gift shop, walked by the pool, the restaurant. It was only when he was about to go back up to his room did he notice the computer room. He took the computer farthest away from everyone. He stared at the computer screen for a while and before he realized what he was doing, he was logging onto Facebook.

He didn't know why he did it, but he went to his parents' profiles, clicking through pictures, through memories. In any other circumstances, Keith would've laughed out how ridiculous it was that his parents loved—had loved—the site so much. He was about to log off, the memories too much when he noticed the messages on his Wall.

He wasn't friends with many people on Facebook, why would he be? He only had—or had—one real friend. The rest of the people he was friends with were people from high school but he never talked to them. It wasn't until he saw the amount of messages on his Wall did he wish he would have never created a profile in the first place. He took a deep breath before he began reading them. The messages all read about the same:

_So sorry for your loss. Let me know if you need anything._

_Sux man. Sorry._

_You're in my prayers._

_If you ever need to talk, message me._

_Hey, man. I know we didn't talk much in school, but if you ever need to talk, hit me up._

_Let me know if you need anything._

_Just remember this: time heals all wounds. _

They went on and on. The messages never ended. They made him feel sick. These people had no idea what he was going through. No idea. And why were they talking to him? Why did they suddenly care? Is this how it worked? Did something terrible have to happen in his life for people to start talking to him, like they cared, like they were friends?

He hated them. He hated every single one of them. All they had to do was type a stupid message that only reminded him of what he had lost while they went on with their lives.

Before he even realized what he was doing, he was in his Account Settings and not thinking twice he clicked _Deactivate_.

He needed to disappear for a while.

* * *

><p>That night, they ordered pizza. Keith could barely finish one piece. He went to sleep at nine.<p>

* * *

><p>Keith stared at the plates of food in front of him. For a hotel, they had a good variety, but nothing looked appetizing.<p>

Once a woman starting huffing impatiently, he chose a chocolate chip muffin. He made himself a cup of coffee before he walked to his table.

When he sat down, his aunt was already halfway through her first cup of coffee. He hadn't even taken one bite of his muffin before Melissa cleared her throat; he looked up at her. "Keith, you really need to eat more than that."

"I'm not hungry."

He was surprised when instead of arguing with him, Melissa stood up and made her way over to the food. A few minutes later, she placed a plate with a spoonful of eggs and a few pieces of bacon on it. "You're going to eat all of that."

"No," said Keith, sitting back in his chair. "I can't. I told you: I'm. Not. Hungry."

"Yes, you are. You're just too…too upset to feel anything else. We will sit here until you eat all of that food on your plate. I'm not having you get sick or pass out from lack of food."

He glanced at her, but couldn't come up with an excuse. What could he say? She was all he had. He couldn't threaten to leave. Where was he going to go? He had no home anymore. "Fine," he finally spat out. "But I might throw up."

It took him almost forty-five minutes to finish his food.

"Feel better?" she asked. He shrugged. He wouldn't admit that he did feel better. Not as lightheaded anymore. "Keith, we need to talk about something."

"No we don't."

She rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand. "Look, Keith, I really think we need to talk about setting up an appointment with a grief counselor. I really think we should make an appointment for you next week. You're not doing well and that's expected. I think you would really benefit from talking with someone. I don't want to wait too long, before—"

"Did you have to bring this up in a hotel during breakfast?"

"Keith, you're scaring me. I don't know what to do."

"Well, I'm not going. I don't need to go. I just need a few more days. Why did you have to bring this up so early after…everything. It still hasn't been that long. It's like you expect me to get over this, and I will. Soon. So I don't need to go to a counselor."

"I don't expect you to 'get over this' soon. I'm just worried. You're angry and you're not eating. You don't know how to deal with this grief and if you hide it and wait to talk to someone, it's only going to get worse. The longer you hold the grief in, the worse it's going to get."

"No," Keith growled. He stood up so fast he hit his leg on the table and his coffee almost spilled. "I don't need some fucking counselor who will just make me talk about my parents' death every session. Talking about it is not going to help me, okay? So stop bringing it up; it's pissing me off."

His aunt looked so sad, sad for him. For some reason, it made him want to cry. He needed to get away. Without telling his aunt where he was going, Keith stormed out of the room, and went outside.

The bitter cold stung his face and cleared his head a bit. He still had to stay outside for almost thirty minutes to down enough to find his aunt so they could leave.

* * *

><p>Keith slept the entire way home (only waking up at rest stops and when his aunt made him eat lunch). They arrived at his aunt's house close to five. Just from looking at the outside, Keith knew the house was at least twice the size his had been.<p>

The first thing Keith noticed when they walked in (or really heard) was a high-pitched noise that sounded like a bark, and the sound of something running down the stairs. He saw a black and tan blur run past him and into his aunt's arms. "Oh, Bailey, Mommy's home now. Did Natalie take good care of you?" The dog licked Melissa's face. "Want to meet Keith? He's going to live with us from now on." Melissa turned her body so Bailey was facing him.

"Uh, hi Bailey." Bailey's tongue was hanging out and he looked like he couldn't be happier.

Lucky dog, thought Keith.

"You can pet him," said Melissa, moving Bailey closer to Keith.

Keith did, patting Bailey lightly on the head. He was so small Keith thought he might break him. "So…this is really a dog? Not a rat in disguise?"

Melissa laughed. "Yes, Keith. It's a Yorkshire Terrier to be exact."

"He looks like a rat. And his eyes look too big for his face." Bailey's eyes were huge. Keith couldn't decide if they just looked like that because his face was small or what. His eyes made him look like a bug.

Melissa laughed again, and then set Bailey on the floor. She stood back up and faced Keith. "You want a tour?"

Keith shrugged. "Sure."

She started with the main floor (there was a bathroom to the right of the kitchen, a dining room, and a good sized living room). She took Keith upstairs, where she showed him her office and bedroom. Then, she took him to the basement.

As they walked down the stairs to the basement, Keith noticed the huge television and entertainment center. "Wow, that's awesome," he said, not being able to help himself. His parents had not been rich, and had never been able to afford nice equipment like his aunt had.

Melissa looked happy he seemed interested. "Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. I never use it."

"Why not?"

"I'm not sure. You're welcome to use it whenever, it'll be good to get more use out of it." She then opened the door that was to the right of them. "Now, don't worry about the mess. I'll clean it up."

The room was full of boxes, but even with it full of them, Keith could tell it was a fairly large room. "It's cool," said Keith. "Why do you have all of these boxes, though?"

Melissa looked embarrassed. "Let's just say I haven't had time to unpack yet."

"Unpack?" asked Keith. "Did you just move here?"

"Yeah, about five months ago." She walked into the room and Keith followed her. "This room does have its own bathroom." She pointed to a door on the left side of the room.

"It's nice."

"Great! I'll unpack the boxes tomorrow morning and then we can go shopping in the afternoon for everything so you can sleep in your own bed by tomorrow night."

Keith felt guilty. He had thought his aunt would have a guest room he could use. If he would've known she was going to have to buy him all new furniture he wouldn't have insisted on leaving so quickly and let her get the rental truck she had suggested. "I can just sleep on a mattress. I'm not picky."

"You're not sleeping on a mattress," she said sternly. She started opening random boxes and looking through them. "Jake will be happy I'm finally finishing my unpacking."

"Who's Jake?"

"Oh, my boyfriend." She took out a pair of green tights and scrunched her nose at them, before tossing them into a trashcan that was in the middle of the room.

"Oh." He couldn't believe how much he didn't know about his aunt: she had a new house, a dog, and a boyfriend.

Melissa stopped rummaging through the boxes and looked at him. "How about dinner? I'm starving. While I cook you can watch TV or go on my computer."

"Okay," said Keith, following her upstairs.

He had never felt more like a stranger in someone's house.

* * *

><p>His aunt set him up on the pullout couch that night. She went to bed around ten, but Keith didn't turn the TV off until after midnight. He lay there for hours, no matter what he did he couldn't fall asleep. Everything just felt wrong; he didn't feel like he belonged here.<p>

He wanted to be at his house with his parents. Sadness enveloped him and he couldn't escape. This was what his life was going to be like. Nothing was ever going to be the same. No matter how hard he tried the memories wouldn't stop coming. His mind kept reeling and it almost hurt with all the memories running through, and then it hit him.

His parents were gone and that meant only one thing.

He was an orphan.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed it!_


	4. Gone

**A/N:** _Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and/or added this story to story alert so far. I'm glad people are enjoying _Breathe_ even though it has started out so sad. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four: Gone<strong>

With the added responsibility of taking care of Bailey, school, and spending time with Raff the next week passed by quickly for Natalie.

Surprisingly, Melissa had called Natalie almost everyday. Melissa seemed tired, stressed (like there had been an added weight to her shoulders), and sad. Natalie had wanted to ask if she was okay, but didn't think it was her place to ask something that seemed so personal and, honestly, she was partly afraid of her answer.

On Saturday night, Melissa called to let Natalie know she would be home by late Sunday afternoon. Natalie stayed with Bailey longer than normal that night, already missing the peacefulness she felt at Melissa's. She liked having company at night. As much as she liked the diner, it did get lonely.

While throwing the ball with Bailey, Natalie thought about Melissa. She wondered what had happened in her life, what made her sound so sad.

She hoped with everything she had, Melissa was going to be okay.

* * *

><p>On Monday morning when Natalie was almost ready to leave to go to the pool before school, her brother walked in.<p>

"Hey, Nats," Zach said, throwing himself carelessly in her desk chair.

"Don't you _ever _knock?" she asked, looking up from where she was sitting on her bed packing her backpack for school.

"Uh, no."

Natalie rolled her eyes as she grabbed her planner and chemistry textbook, placing them carefully in her bag before she asked, "What do you want?"

"Geez," said Zach, sounding hurt. "I just had a question!"

"Okay," said Natalie, still hesitant. "And?"

"You said you stopped watching Bailey, right? Melissa came back yesterday?"

"Wow, Zach," said Natalie as she zipped her backpack and started putting on a sweater, "I'm surprised. How did you know that? Are you telling me you _paid_ attention to something I said?"

"I know, impressive, right?" He grinned. Then said, looking uncommonly serious, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Who came home with her?"

"I don't know. I wasn't there."

"Oh."

Curious, Natalie asked, "Why? What makes you think someone came home with her?"

Zach shrugged. "There's a yellow truck in front of her house. I noticed it when Ryan was on his way to drop me off this morning."

"Really?" said Natalie. "That's weird. She never mentioned anyone coming with her, but now that I think about it, she flew to Michigan but drove home. That's kind of weird."

"I wonder what happened. She never told you why she went to Michigan?"

"No, not really. Just mentioned an accident. That could mean anything really."

"Yeah…" trailed off Zach, then excitedly said, "Hey! I have an idea."

"No," said Natalie sternly. "Whatever you're thinking, I won't do it."

"C'mon, Nats, aren't you curious?" Natalie couldn't deny this and Zach noticed so he hastily added, "You have to stop by and pick up money or something, right?" Natalie nodded. "Then casually bring up the truck. See what's up."

Natalie thought about this. She _was_ curious and knew if she didn't try and figure out whose truck it was, Zach would keep bugging her. "Okay, fine. I'll do it. But I'm only doing it because I have to go there anyway. I'll ask her, but only one time. If she won't tell me anything, you're on your own. Got it?"

"Yup!" said Zach, standing up quickly.

Before he exited her room Natalie said, "You owe me."

* * *

><p>That night, before Natalie made her normal trip to the diner, she stopped at Melissa's house. Like Zach said, there was a yellow truck in the driveway. It looked rather old, with its color fading and numerous rust spots. But even with these imperfections, it still seemed loved and well taken care of. After staring at the truck for a few minutes, she walked up the stairs leading to the front door and rang the doorbell.<p>

Melissa answered the door within seconds. Bailey was barking and jumping behind Melissa excitedly; Melissa picked him up muttering to him something about someone sleeping.

"Natalie, hey. Come on in." Melissa said, opening the door wider so Natalie could walk in. Natalie immediately noticed the couch, which had been pulled out into a bed. The covers were rumpled and twisted; it was obvious someone had slept there.

Once the door closed, Melissa set Bailey on the floor. He ran around in frantic, hyper circles, tongue hanging out and with eyes looking like they were popping out of his head.

"Wait one second and I'll get you your money."

While Melissa opened her purse that was on the kitchen table, Natalie took a few seconds to study her. She looked different. She wasn't her normal put together self. Natalie didn't think she had ever seen Melissa without dress clothes on, and her hair and makeup done. This Melissa looked tired and stressed and _different_ somehow.

Natalie didn't realize she had been spacing out so much when Melissa handed her the money. "Thanks," said Natalie. When she realized how much money Melissa had given her, she added, "You don't need to pay me this much. This is way more than you normally give me."

"Keep it," insisted Melissa. "I won't take no for an answer. You did a great job and plus it was last minute."

"Okay, thanks." Natalie smiled at her. Then hesitantly asked, "So, um, did you get a new truck?"

"What? Oh. Oh no. That truck is my nephew, Keith's."

"Really? I didn't know you had a nephew."

Melissa nodded. "Just one. He's your age, I think. You're sixteen, right?"

"Yup. So is he just visiting?"

Sadness graced Melissa's face and Natalie almost felt bad for asking. "No." She stopped to clear her throat before saying, "He's staying here permanently."

"Oh." This intrigued Natalie, but she knew it wasn't her place to ask; she already felt like she was overstepping by walking in and asking her these questions. She glanced around the living room, now knowing who had slept on the pullout couch.

Melissa seemed to think Natalie was looking for signs of Keith. "Keith's sleeping right now, or I would introduce you. I really don't want to wake him up."

"That's fine," said Natalie. "So, what high school will he be going to?"

"Beaver Creek. You go there, right?"

"Yup. I'm a junior."

"Oh, that's great. Keith's a junior, too."

"Cool," said Natalie, wondering where this was going. "When is he starting?"

"I'm not sure, but maybe next week." Melissa looked like she desperately wanted to ask Natalie something, but she never did.

"Awesome. I'll have to meet him sometime." Natalie gave her a small smile before saying, "Well, I'll see you later. I gotta go do some homework."

Melissa led Natalie to the door. "Thank you again for watching Bailey. Have a good night."

"You, too."

After Melissa closed the door, Natalie stood on the porch, mind reeling with the new information. She wondered why Keith had moved here, where his other family was, but most of all she wondered what Keith was like.

* * *

><p>Before school the next day, Natalie told Zach what she found out. After the mystery was solved, he seemed uninterested and didn't ask her any more questions.<p>

Natalie didn't get to tell her best friend about Keith until they met in the girls' locker room for their first swim practice. After Natalie told Brooke about Keith, her friend's first question was, "So, tell me! What does he look like?"

"I already told you! I didn't get to meet him because he was sleeping. Why are you so curious anyway? You do have a boyfriend, remember?" Natalie grabbed her towel and they made their way to the pool.

"Of course I remember, Natalie. I'm not curious because I want to date him. I'm curious because we don't get new students that often, especially after the school year has started. It's exciting!"

Since it was their first practice for the school year and they didn't know what they were suppose to do, they set their towels on the floor and waited for their coach. "Yeah, maybe for you and me, but not for him."

"What do you mean? Coming to a new school has to be a bit exciting at least. After the initial fear of it all, that is."

"Yeah," started Natalie, "maybe it will be. But I don't know what happened to make him come live with Melissa. I have a feeling it wasn't for a good reason."

"Yeah," said Brooke softly, running her fingers through her long brown hair. "I guess you're right. It must suck for him."

Natalie felt guilty for talking about Keith so much. Melissa had told her about Keith because she had asked, but Natalie didn't feel right to keep talking about him. Luckily, before Natalie could try and bring up another topic, their coach arrived.

"All right, ladies," said Coach Tammy. She was a young lady, in her mid thirties. She was tall with short, spiky dirty blonde hair. She was a tough swim coach, but Natalie liked that about her. Without her determination and harsh encouragement, Natalie didn't think she would be as good of a swimmer as she was. "As you know, we have one month before swim meets start. I'm going to meet with you all individually to discuss which strokes you would like to focus on for the season.

"I'd also like you all to meet our newest team members. I think they'll be a great addition to the team." She walked over to where a group of girls, mostly freshman, were sitting and introduced them individually. Once she was done, she called the first girl before she walked to her office.

Once Coach Tammy was out of sight, Brooke brought up Halloween. "Have you decided what you're going to be yet? I can't narrow down my choices."

"I still think you should go as a fairy," said Natalie.

Brooke bit her bottom lip in thought. "Yeah, me too, but I also like the ladybug."

"That one is cute, too. What about you?"

"I was thinking a sailor. Raff had an idea we could match. He could be the captain or something."

"That would be so cute! Maybe Robbie and I could do something like that. I'm just not sure what…"

They spent the next fifteen minutes going over more possible ideas, by the time Coach Tammy called Natalie over she and Brooke hadn't made any decisions. Instead of narrowing their costume ideas down to one, they now had almost half a dozen. Natalie hoped they could decide soon. Halloween was only a few weeks away.

She walked into Coach Tammy's office, which was decorated with dozens of swimming pictures, and sat down on the extra chair. "Hey, Natalie, so I think we should have you continue to focus on the butterfly. We can continue to improve your stroke technique. What do you think?"

"I think that's great," said Natalie, smiling. She had worked all summer to perfect that stroke. She wasn't sure why it was her favorite. She liked the way the stroke moved her across the water.

"Great," said Coach Tammy, smiling. "I've told the other girls I've met with so far to practice for an hour then you can leave. I'll see you tomorrow bright and early. And be prepared, I'm actually going to make you work."

"I look forward to it."

* * *

><p>Natalie was surprised to see Melissa walking out of her school a few days later. Natalie had been on her way to her car, so she waited for Melissa to get near her before she said, "Hey, Melissa." Natalie was happy to see Melissa looked better than she had on Monday. Now that she was rested and in her work clothes she looked more like herself.<p>

"Natalie," said Melissa, surprised to see her. "It's good to see you again."

Natalie smiled, glancing down at the papers in Melissa's hand. "Did you register Keith?"

"Yup, got his class schedule." Natalie was about to ask Melissa where Keith was but she must have read her mind because she said, "He didn't come. I tried to convince him but..."

"It's okay," said Natalie. "I guess I'll meet him next week?"

"Next week, yes. He told me he wants to start Monday, but I guess we'll see. He may change his mind."

"That's understandable."

"Well," started Melissa, "I better let you go. I look forward to you and Keith meeting."

"Me too," said Natalie. "Have a good night." She gave Melissa a small smile before turning around.

She hadn't walked more than a few feet when she heard Melissa calling her name. "Yeah?" asked Natalie, turning around.

Melissa ran the few feet over to her. "I-I wanted to ask you on Monday, but I didn't want to intrude. But I have to ask—"

"Sure, anything," interjected Natalie.

"Would you be able to show Keith around at school? Show him where everything is? Like his classes and stuff? You don't have to feel obligated, but showing him around the first day would be helpful."

"Sure," responded Natalie quickly. "I'd be happy to."

"Thank you. I'll feel a lot better knowing he has you to ask questions to."

Natalie smiled softly then asked, "Can I see his schedule?"

Melissa look confused and curious but handed over the papers to Natalie without question. Natalie read over the schedule quickly and was pleased to see they had some classes together. "Looks like we have chemistry, English, and gym together. We have chemistry first period so would it be all right if I meet with him there? Or would you like me to meet him somewhere else?"

Melissa looked extremely happy at this. "That's great. And meeting him in chemistry class is fine. I don't want you to go too out of your way." Natalie handed Melissa back the schedule. "I should probably warn you, he might not be the easiest person to get along with. He's had an incredibly hard last two weeks and I don't think he's adjusting well. If he acts a certain way or says something that offends you, promise me you won't take it personally."

"No problem. I understand," promised Natalie. Then, "I'll make sure he gets to his classes and knows his way around. Don't worry about him."

"Thank you," said Melissa sincerely. "I hope he likes it here."

Natalie wanted to tell Melissa she was sure Keith would, but she couldn't. Beaver Creek High School, like most high schools, wasn't an easy school to fit into. You had to wear the right clothes, act the right way, and date the right person. One thing Natalie knew, it would be a hard place for Keith to survive if he didn't conform.

* * *

><p>On Friday morning during chemistry, Natalie listened to her teacher explain their next class project. When Mr. Miles announced the project would require partners, a thought struck Natalie.<p>

When the bell rang signaling the end of class, Natalie waited for the rush of students to pass her before she made her way to Mr. Miles' desk.

"Hey, Natalie, what can I help you with?"

"I had a question about the new project starting next week. About the partners." Mr. Miles waited expectantly for her to finish. "Is there any way I could request a partner?"

Not shocked at this request Mr. Miles responded with, "You know I don't normally let students pick their partners, but who did you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure if you know, but a new student will be starting here next week. His name is Keith."

Mr. Miles looked sad. "Yes, I am aware."

"Well, I'm friends with his aunt and she asked me to show him around and stuff. I saw his class schedule and know he's going to be in this class with me. I thought maybe we could partner-up."

Pleased, Mr. Miles said, "That's a great idea." He grabbed a notebook from his desk and quickly jotted down a note; Natalie couldn't read what it said, though. "Judging by what I saw of his chemistry scores I think you guys will get along. Keith's going through a tough time right now and I'm happy you're willing to make him comfortable while he adjusts to a new school."

"Tough how?" asked Natalie.

"That's really all I can say." He looked like he wished he could tell her.

"That's okay. Thanks, though. I'll see you Monday." As she walked to her next class, Natalie wondered what Keith had been through, wishing Melissa or Mr. Miles would just tell her; it would be so much easier to help him once she met him if she knew what he was going through. By the time she reached her classroom, she realized the only way she was going to find out was to ask Keith himself.

* * *

><p>"Natalie! You're here! Finally!" screamed Brooke when she saw Natalie arrive at The Brick. The Brick was an area off the side of a road near a small lake that was a common high school hangout. Natalie came to The Brick at least three times a week.<p>

Brooke almost knocked Natalie over with the force of her hug. "Hi," said Natalie, giving Brooke a hug back. "Careful," she said as Brooke pulled apart and stumbled back, almost falling over.

Brooke giggled out an, "Okay."

"How much have you had to drink?" asked Natalie.

Brooke shrugged. "Not too much." She grabbed Natalie's hand, pulling her over to the crowd.

Raff was there. When he saw Natalie, he walked over. Natalie couldn't read his expression. "Glad you could finally make it," he said, obvious sarcasm in his voice.

Annoyance filled Natalie at this. "I'm only an hour late. I'm sorry. There was—"

"Let me guess: family issues. Whatever, babe. You're here now. I'll get you some beer."

Natalie sighed loudly as she watched Raff's retreating back. Why did he always have to make her feel guilty? Why couldn't he once ask her if she was okay? If she wanted to talk. Instead, he completely ignored her and acted like he didn't care. Weren't boyfriends supposed to care about that kind of stuff? She didn't know; he was the first real boyfriend she had ever had. But she had seen her friends' boyfriends; they asked questions and acted like they genuinely cared. She knew it was stupid to act so picky, but was it so wrong for her to want that from Raff?

She fumed while waiting for him and almost didn't hear him calling for her a few minutes later. She walked over to where Raff was standing with a bunch of his friends. He handed her a drink before saying, "So, babe, are your parents still going to that wedding the weekend before Halloween?"

Natalie was shocked Raff even remembered her telling him this and without thinking said, "Yeah." She didn't understand why her parents were going on a trip when they were having problems, but maybe it would be good for them.

"Great!" exclaimed Raff. "We've all unanimously decided we're going to throw a Halloween party at your house."

"What?" gasped Natalie. This was _not_ good.

"Yeah." Raff smiled like he was extremely pleased with himself. "I suggested it to everyone and they thought it was a great idea; it's going to be awesome."

She looked at all her friends and knew she couldn't say no. "Yeah, great. Sounds fun." Then, she took a sip of beer so she wouldn't have to say anything more.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, The Brick was louder and more crowded. Natalie watched her friends dance by the fire pit from a rock a few feet away. She didn't feel like partying tonight; she would rather be at the diner, reading a book.<p>

Which is why fifteen minutes later, when Raff lead her away from her friends, she had the strongest urge to push him away. But she didn't, not wanting to get him mad. When they were far enough from everyone, he pushed her up against a tree and said, "You look so hot right now, Natalie." Then, he kissed her. His kisses were clumsy and sloppy and messy. She tried to get into it, but after a few minutes when he put his hands under her shirt and mumbled, "Let's go back to my house. To my bed," she pushed him away.

"No. Stop it." He looked confused.

"Why?"

"I told you I'm_ not_ ready. And plus, you're drunk."

"So?" he said, giving her a cocky grin Natalie wanted to wipe away.

"So? I'm not ready, but even if I was I wouldn't want to do anything with you right now."

"Fine." He pulled away from her as if she burned him.

"Why are you being like this?"

"Whatever, Natalie, I understand."

"So what?" She breathed in deeply. "Now you're mad? I think I should be the mad one. You basically invited the entire school to my house without asking me."

"I didn't think you would mind. I was just trying to have fun, which you obviously don't know how to have." And without waiting for her to respond, he walked away.

By the time Natalie cleared the tears from her voice and weakly called out to him, he was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you all enjoyed it. Please review and let me know what you think! Oh, and the next chapter Keith and Natalie finally meet!_


	5. Never Again

**A/N:** _Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Now the moment you have been waiting for…Natalie and Keith finally meet! Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five: Never Again<strong>

Keith woke tangled in sheets, head underneath pillows, to a loud crash. He jolted up, taking a few seconds to calm himself down and remember where he was. When he was calm and more awake, he glanced around the living room; his eyes landed on a pile of trash bags next to the door that led to the garage. Wondering what his aunt was doing, he untangled himself from his sheets and got out of bed.

It took him a few minutes to make his way downstairs with his crutches, and when he finally did make it his eyes widened at the sight. The basement was a mess, even more trash bags and boxes filled the main area with stuff. "Aunt Melissa?" he called, not wanting to attempt to walk through the mess in his crutches; he would probably trip and fall on his face and hurt his other leg or something.

Melissa walked out of the room that was to be his. "Good morning. I hope you slept well. I didn't wake you up, did I?" He shook his head, lying. She stared at him standing at the bottom of the stairs near the mess. "I'm sorry. I should've left some room for you to walk around."

"It's fine. What are you doing?" he asked.

"Cleaning out your room," she said too cheerfully. "I just got done going through everything. I didn't realize I had so much stuff."

"Oh," said Keith. "You could've woke me up; I would've helped."

"It's fine," she said. "I wanted to get an early start and you needed to rest."

With the amount of work Melissa had completed, Keith knew he had slept in pretty late. "What time is it?"

"Around eleven." At Keith's shocked expression she said, "It's okay. I was thinking: how about while I make you something to eat, you get ready. Then we can spend the rest of the day getting furniture for your room."

Keith shrugged. "Whatever." He couldn't get excited about a new room when the act signified so much.

"Do you know what you want to eat?"

She looked so hopeful Keith almost felt bad for saying, "I'm not really hungry."

Her whole body sagged in disappointment. "Are you sure? What about Pop- Tarts? A granola bar?" He shook his head. "Toast?"

"Toast?" he replied. He thought for a minute then said, "Toast sounds good."

It was _something_.

* * *

><p>Keith was exhausted. It had been a long day shopping, but now his room had furniture. They had to wait until tomorrow to get his mattress delivered, so Keith would have to wait one more night before he could sleep in his room. Everything else was ready, though. There was a full-sized dark oak bed to the right of the room and a matching nightstand. There was also a dresser and desk on the wall parallel to the bed.<p>

It was the nicest furniture Keith had ever owned, and all it made him feel was guilty. He knew how much everything had cost; he had seen the prices after all. But he couldn't stop thinking of the money and how his aunt shouldn't be spending it on him. She had never asked for this, to take care of him. She never had a choice.

Keith was interrupted from his thoughts when Melissa came walking into his room, arms with two lamps. He helped his aunt set up the lamps as best he could, but his arms hurt from using the crutches all day and his leg was beginning to throb from not keeping it elevated all day and he didn't think he ended up being much help.

He had hoped his aunt hadn't noticed, but while she placed his comforter and sheets near his bed she asked, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah," he said, not looking her in the eyes.

"Your leg hurts." She said this mostly as a fact.

"Yeah, but it's okay. It's just from not being elevated all day."

Melissa seemed upset, though, and said quickly, "I knew all of this would be too much for you. I don't know what I was thinking. I just wanted to keep you occupied today, make you try and _forget_ for just a little while."

Keith wanted to tell her nothing would stop him from remembering. No busy days of shopping and organizing a room, no _nothing_. Because remembering that night and remembering his parents was like breathing; he couldn't help it. Remembering came to him without thinking. It was part of him now, the memories. That night.

Keith leaned against his door, trying to figure out how to respond. "I don't think it's going to be that easy. Forgetting, I mean." He never would forget. Then he added, "But it did help a little." She didn't look convinced. "Really, it did. But it will always be in the back of my mind."

Melissa walked closer to him, a little defeated. "I-I know that. I just wanted to try. I hate seeing you like this. I—" Keith turned his head away from her so she didn't have to see the expression gracing his face. Melissa took this as a warning to stop talking about the subject and for that he was glad. "How about we stop for tonight and I make dinner while you rest for a while? You could watch a movie on the television down here." Keith gave a short nod and at this Melissa smiled.

"Here. I'll show you where the movies are and while you pick one I'll go get you some medicine for your leg."

"Okay," said Keith, following his aunt into the entertainment room, which was now cleared of bags and boxes. Melissa showed him two tall shelves full of movies—she had so many—before she went upstairs.

Five minutes later, just when his aunt returned, he selected a movie. While his aunt set up the movie for him, he took his medicine before lying down on the couch, head resting on a throw pillow. At this, Bailey jumped on the couch, resting his head on Keith's good leg.

Melissa turned around once the movie was ready and saw Bailey. Smiling she said, "Looks like someone's going to join you."

Melissa handed Keith the remote and was walking away when Keith spoke up. "Aunt Melissa?" She stopped and looked at him expectantly, a little bit of curiosity flashing in her eyes. "Thanks."

She smiled, which caused her eyes to light up. "You're welcome."

After she left Keith started the movie but only watched a few minutes of it before his eyes drifted closed and he fell asleep.

* * *

><p>When Keith woke, body heavy with sleep, it was dark. It wasn't until he sat up did he realize he still on the couch covered with a blanket and the television was off. He stayed in that position for a few minutes, staring at the black screen, hand tightly holding his blanket. Finally tearing his eyes away from the screen he glanced around the room, his gaze landing on Bailey who was curled at the foot of the couch. For some reason, the sight made his throat tighten. He took in a shaky breath, burrowing himself under the blanket, trying to calm himself down, but the tightness in his throat wouldn't go away.<p>

It was hours before sleep finally claimed him.

* * *

><p>On Wednesday, Keith forced himself to stay out of bed. He didn't like being up too long, though, because without having anything to occupy himself with he constantly remembered and wished and missed. Missing was the worst because it hurt. And sleeping? It took away the hurt; he didn't have to feel.<p>

He knew constantly sleeping worried his aunt, so he decided to do laundry to look like he had been productive. His aunt was at work (her first day back), so he couldn't ask her how to use the laundry machine. He guessed he could call her, but didn't want to bother her if he didn't have to. It couldn't be that hard, though. He had done laundry before, so he wasn't worried. Bailey, who had been keeping a strange close distance to Keith since Monday, kept him company while he loaded his clothes into the laundry machine. Keith would never admit to anyone but himself but he thought it was kind of cute.

Starting his laundry was a success, but seconds after the machine started running, Bailey went crazy. He started barking wildly and was shaking so hard he looked like he was having a seizure.

"Bailey?" said Keith, worry filing him.

Bailey ran into the kitchen, paws slipping on the wooden floor in his haste, and jumped straight into his water dish. And then, Bailey started pawing at the water and the rest of it sprayed on the kitchen table, cabinets, and floors. Once the water was empty, Bailey curled in a tiny ball so he could fit into the bowl.

He wouldn't stop shaking.

Not knowing what to do Keith grabbed the telephone sitting next to the coffee pot and quickly dialed his aunt's work number; she answered after the third ring.

"Aunt Melissa?" asked Keith quickly, breath coming out in tiny gasps as he stared at Bailey. He leaned against the counter to keep his balance. "It's Keith."

"Keith? Are you all right? What's going on? Are you hurt?"

He realized he probably shouldn't have called her sounding so frantic. "No, no. I'm fine." He took in a deep breath before saying, "It's Bailey."

"What's wrong with him?" Keith could tell she was trying hard to keep her voice calm.

"He just started shaking and jumped into his water bowl and I think he's having a seizure. What should I do? What if—" What if he had _killed_ Bailey? That thought made his blood turn cold. "I killed him?"

"Keith, sweetie, calm down. Trust me. Bailey is fine. I think I know what's wrong."

"Really?"

"Did you put a load of laundry in?"

"Yeah, just a few minutes ago. Right before Bailey started freaking out."

"Keith," started Melissa. She sounded like she was trying hard not to laugh. "Bailey has a little problem with the laundry machine. He's terrified of it."

Relief flooded through Keith. "Oh." He stared down at Bailey, giving him a stern look. Bailey didn't seem to notice. "So I-I didn't hurt him?"

"Nope, he's fine. Just being a big baby."

"Okay," whispered Keith. "Should I do anything? He looks kind of pathetic right now. All soaked in his bowl."

"You can just leave him there. Don't spoil him too much. He'll start expecting things from you," she warned.

"Okay, thanks. Sorry for calling you at work."

"No problem," she said sincerely. "You can call me anytime. I'll be home around five-thirty, all right?"

When they hung up, Keith glanced at Bailey to make sure he was okay before he cleaned up the water with a dishtowel. He was about to go to his room, but Bailey looked so sad and so scared all squished in his water bowl, looking at Keith with his big bug eyes, he couldn't help it and picked him up. Not being able to use both of his crutches and carry Bailey he left one of them leaning against the kitchen table and carefully made his way down to his room, carrying Bailey in one hand and using one of his crutches in the other. It was dangerous, he knew, but he really didn't care. Bailey curled as close to Keith's chest as he could. When they got to his room, Keith wrapped Bailey in a towel before placing him on his bed.

"You know what?" asked Keith, as he stared as Bailey whose shaking was starting to diminish. "You _really_ do look like a bug."

* * *

><p>That night, after dinner, Melissa brought up school. "Do you know when you would like to start? I don't want to rush you or anything. I just want you to know you can start whenever you feel you're ready."<p>

Keith pushed his mashed potatoes around his plate. "I can start Monday."

Surprised, Melissa said, "That's only a few days away; I'm not sure you're ready. It hasn't even been two weeks since—"

"I'm aware of that," he muttered. "Look, I'm ready, okay?" He wasn't sure he was, but anything had to be better than sitting around an empty house with nothing but his thoughts to occupy him. One day alone had been bad enough.

"If you're sure. We'll have to go get you registered this week, though."

Keith set his fork down. "Do I have to go?"

"Go?" Melissa looked confused. "Of course not. I told you, if you need more—"

"No, I meant to get registered."

"Oh." Melissa took a minute before she said, "I don't think so. But, sweetie, if you don't want to go get registered how do you think you're going to be able to handle school?"

He didn't know how to answer this, because he didn't know the answer. He knew he needed to show he was okay. And the first step he could take to show this was to go to school. "I just can, all right? Can you stop asking me stupid questions?"

"Okay, Keith. No need for you to get angry." She stared at him cautiously and when she was sure he wasn't going to yell at her again said, "Now, you said you like science and math, right?" He gave her a tiny nod. "Then I'll make sure to sign you up for those, okay?"

"Okay," he whispered. He pushed his plate away. "Can I go to my room now?"

Melissa looked at his almost full plate, but nodded anyway. Keith left before she could say anything more.

* * *

><p>Monday came too soon for Keith. When his alarm clock went off, he wanted to burrow under the covers and sleep. But no matter how much he didn't want to, he got up and got ready.<p>

His aunt had breakfast—toast with peanut butter and coffee—waiting for him when he walked into the kitchen. He tried to eat the toast, but it felt like sandpaper in his mouth and he couldn't manage to swallow more than a few bites. Keith didn't remember much about the drive to school, his thoughts elsewhere. He hadn't even realized they had arrived until his aunt had parked and called his name.

"Yeah?"

"We're here." She handed him his class schedule (even though she had already made him a million copies). Melissa started saying things out loud, like she was marking off a checklist in her head. "I swear I'm forgetting something…Anyway, you have my number so if you decide you want to come home early just call me."

That was _not_ going to happen. "Okay," he said. "Thanks."

He was late to his first class, chemistry. Keith didn't think it was possible for a school's layout to be so confusing but apparently it was. His crutches had only made it harder for him to navigate. When he finally walked into his classroom, fifteen minutes later, half the class turned to look at him and he inwardly groaned. Their eyes stayed on him the entire way he hobbled to his teacher's desk, but he choose to ignore them.

Before Keith could introduce himself, his teacher said, "Keith Zetterstrom?" Keith nodded. "Welcome to your chemistry class, Keith. I'm Mr. Miles. We're just starting a new section and you'll be partnered up with Natalie." He pointed to a girl a few lab tables away. She was one of the few students that wasn't staring at him. "I think you guys will get along great."

"Okay," said Keith. "Thanks."

He was about to hobble away but Mr. Miles stopped him. He handed Keith a textbook while asking, "Would you like me to release you a few minutes before class ends so you can get a head start to your next class?" He nodded towards the crutches.

"Oh, um, no thanks. I'll be fine. Thanks, though."

He sat down next to the girl just as she turned in his direction to place a few beakers on the table. "Zetterstrom?" She gave him a strange look as she glanced at the hood of his sweatshirt on his head.

He nodded, hands in the pocket of his hoodie. "Haven't lied to you this far, not going to start now." She gave him a small smile at this and went back to work. He stared at her.

She was _beautiful_.

He wasn't sure if noticing this was a good or bad thing. In the last two weeks, one thing he had promised himself was to never again love someone. Loving someone was dangerous. Loving someone meant the possibility of losing them. And losing someone meant pain and hurt and sadness.

It was easier this way.

After a few seconds, she turned back to face him. "You going to help?"

He nodded. Then saw a box of matches on the lab table and grinned. He turned the gas on and lit a match, but before he could do anything Natalie blew the match out and said, "We don't need that for this."

"Look," started Keith, "you're not going to be disagreeable, are you? Walt specifically told me I had an agreeable lab partner."

"Walt?"

"Class schedules are good for some things."

"Right." She grabbed a beaker before looking at her textbook. "You know," she said while reading, "I don't think Mr. Miles will appreciate you calling him by his first name." She looked at him seriously.

"You need to relax."

"Actually, I need to learn this," she said, gesturing to the lab worksheet. She started filling the measuring cup with white powder. Keith had no idea what it was and didn't care enough to ask.

"Because why?" he asked instead.

"Because I need to get a four-point-oh."

"Because good grades get you everything."

"Yeah," she said, sounding kind of annoyed. "They do. They'll get you into a good college which will get you a good job."

"You know what we need? Time travel." _So I can go back and save my parents, _he thought.

She rolled her eyes. "Can we just do the lab?"

He nodded and didn't say anything for the rest of the class.

* * *

><p>It was lunchtime and Keith had just grabbed a bottle of water and was making his way to the cashier when someone rammed into him. At the contact, Keith dropped his water, trying to prevent himself from completely falling over.<p>

The boy didn't stop to help, only called, "Sorry!" over his shoulder before rushing to the pizza line.

"Watch where you're going, Cooper!" said a voice behind Keith. He knew that voice already. Natalie. The boy turned around again, exclaiming a sorry again as he grabbed three slices of pizza.

"Sorry about that," said Natalie, walking in front of Keith.

"It wasn't your fault," replied Keith.

Natalie gave him a small smile and lifted his water bottle out towards him. "Can you…"

"I've got it. As long as someone else doesn't run into to me." He grabbed the bottle from her. "Thanks."

"No problem." She stared at him for a few seconds—right into his eyes—and it made Keith a little uncomfortable. What was she seeing? "Well," she said after she seemed to wake herself up. "I better go get my lunch. Let me know if you need anything, okay?" He nodded and watched her go.

Once he had paid for his water, Keith stared at the tables in the cafeteria, not sure where to sit. There were so many students it was hard to scope out an empty table or empty seat.

Just as he was about to start walking around to look for a seat, because he was sure that would be less awkward than standing in the middle of the cafeteria, he heard Natalie call his name. "Keith?" He turned to look at her. "Do you wanna sit with me and my friends?"

He nodded and followed her to a table that was in the corner of the cafeteria by the windows. The table was almost full and Keith took a seat next to Natalie as she introduced him. People said hi to him, and other than Natalie's friend Brooke, people didn't seem interested. Keith was relieved. However, he didn't get to stay relieved for very long. A few minutes later, Raff, (Keith was pretty sure this was Natalie's boyfriend) started asking him questions. "So, where are you from?"

"Michigan. Traverse City."

Silence followed for a few seconds before, "I've never been to Michigan," a brown haired guy, Travis, spoke up. "I think I may have some family there or something."

"Uh, cool," replied Keith.

"So what happened to your leg?" asked Raff, before he stuffed his mouth with a handful of chips.

Keith bit his lip. "An accident involving some...glass. Had to get some stitches is all."

"That's awesome," said Travis.

"Yeah, sure," said Keith.

"So why exactly did you move here?" Travis asked.

Keith felt himself start to get hot and his hands started to shake. How did he answer a question like that? "Uh, I had to move in with my aunt."

"Why?

"_Travis_," said his girlfriend, Brooke. "That's not something—"

Keith felt his throat get dry and he felt everyone's eyes on him as they waited for his answer. He wished he hadn't drunk all his water so he would have an excuse to give him more time to think. "I don't have anyone else to live with right now, is all." He coughed loudly.

"Oh, weird," said Travis.

It was quiet now and Keith chose these few precious seconds to stand up before he was asked more questions. "Where are you going?" asked Natalie. "Lunch isn't over for another ten minutes."

Keith tossed his backpack over his shoulders before he stood up on his crutches. "I gotta find the bathroom," he said as an excuse. "I'll talk to you guys later." He made his way as quickly as he could from the table, berating himself for even getting himself in the situation. Why hadn't he thought of this before? Of course people were going to ask him questions; he was the new kid after all. And there was _no way_ he was going to tell anyone what he had done. He couldn't imagine what everyone would think of him if they found out.

He was turning left down a hall he hoped his English class was at when Natalie ran in front of him. "The closest bathroom's that way," she said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Oh, thanks," he said, and promptly turned around, hoping she would leave him alone.

No such luck.

"I'm sorry about my friends, they're pretty nosy."

"It's all right," he said, walking as quickly as he could with his crutches. Unfortunately, it wasn't quick enough.

"I'm sorry if they made you uncomfortable. They aren't very eloquent when asking questions."

He stopped walking. "Look, it's fine all right? Don't worry about it."

Finally, she seemed convinced. "Okay."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

But before he hobbled a few feet away, she spoke up again. She was sure talkative. "Do you want me to show you to your next class?" Did she ever give up?

"That's okay, I need to go to the bathroom first."

"I can wait."

"Why?" he asked cautiously.

"Why what?"

"Why are you taking your time trying to help me out?"

"I just thought you might need help finding your next class; we both have English next anyway. I just thought you'd need help, considering you didn't even know where the bathrooms were." She was a horrible liar. He could tell; it was like the lie was written in permanent marker across her face.

"Who asked you to follow me around?" Everything was starting to make since, the strange amount of attention to was giving him.

She blushed. "No one. " Horrible, horrible liar.

"Right." He thought for a minute. "Let me guess, my aunt talked to the principal and he asked you."

She must have realized she was caught because she said, "Your aunt asked me personally. I watch Bailey sometimes. Maybe I should've told you, but I thought it was better not saying anything."

"Well, you know what? I don't need your help so you can tell my aunt that the next time you see her, okay?"

And with that, he left her standing there.

* * *

><p>Keith had no idea what time it was, but he figured it had to be close to five. All he knew was he was cold and really wished he had a cell phone because he wanted to be at his aunt's right now. It had been a long day. He wasn't sure what to do; he had been waiting for his aunt to pick him up for almost two hours. An hour ago, he had tried the front office, but it was closed. He had waited too long to call her.<p>

Just as he sat down on the bench, he saw Natalie walking towards him, hair wet and carrying a rather large gym bag. Why was she still here?

"Hi," he said as she neared. He wasn't exactly sure she was going to talk to him after their conversation in the hall. He hoped she would, though. It had been a long day and she had only been trying to help.

"Keith?" she said, quickening her steps as she neared him. "What are you still doing at school?"

"Waiting for my aunt." He shrugged. "I'm beginning to think she forgot me."

"Have you seriously been waiting outside for two hours?"

"Uh, well, I'm not sure what time it is, but yeah, prolly."

She gave him a look he couldn't decipher. "Do you need a ride?"

"Really?"

"Absolutely," she said, almost too cheerfully. "My car's just over there." She pointed to the parking lot and to a small green Honda.

She walked slowly so he could keep up with her. It was awkward getting into the small car with his crutches, but he made it without falling on his face in front of her.

The drive to his aunt's was silent. He didn't know what to say to Natalie, and figured she didn't know what to say to him. When she pulled into his driveway though, he turned to face her. "Thanks for the ride, Natalie."

She grinned at him like she was truly happy to help. "No problem." And in that moment, Keith wondered if she _knew_. Knew about the accident. About his parents. The thought made his blood turn cold. He didn't want _anyone_ to know. Mostly, because he didn't want them to know what he had done. That _he_ was the reason his parents were dead. He said goodbye before she could say something and confirm what he feared.

As soon as he walked into the house, pandemonium hit. "Where have you been? Do you know how worried I have been? I get home from work and you're not here. There's no note or any message telling me where you were and then you wouldn't even answer your phone," Melissa yelled.

Confused Keith said, "I was at school waiting for you. I don't have a cell phone and by the time I thought to call you the school was closed."

"You waited for me for two hours?" Keith nodded. "Why? Did you miss the bus?"

"Bus? What? I thought you were picking me up." Had she told him something else and he had forgotten?

He didn't think so, not by the expression that suddenly graced Melissa's face. "Oh god. I knew I forgot something. I forgot to tell you about the bus. You must have thought because I dropped you off—" She stopped suddenly and sunk onto the couch. "Keith, I'm so sorry. I can't believe you waited two hours. And when did you not have a cell phone?"

He knew he probably should've told her it had been destroyed in the accident when she had asked for his number, but at the time he hadn't been able to tell the truth. "Since the accident. It—"

She cut him off. "And I never noticed?" she said. "We'll get you one this weekend, all right?"

"All right." He sat down in a leather chair near the television, leaning his crutches again the arm of it.

"You're okay, though? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine, Aunt Melissa. Don't worry."

"How about I start some dinner?"

As if on cue, his stomach grumbled. "Dinner sounds good."

The whole time she cooked dinner she continued apologizing to him, which was why, when they finally sat down to eat and she asked him how he liked his new school, he lied.

He said he loved it.

* * *

><p>That night he had a nightmare. The accident came to him in snippets, moments, like a movie and he woke in a cold sweat, body trembling. He never did fall back asleep.<p>

* * *

><p>The nightmares continued throughout the week, increasing in number and intensity with every night. It made school a little difficult because some days he was just <em>so tired<em>. Other than the tiredness, though, school was okay. His classes were fine. Natalie talked to him sometimes, but acted like she was trying to keep her distance; Keith knew this was his fault. Other than Natalie, he didn't talk to many people, but that was okay because he hadn't at his old school either.

On a Friday, he got his stitches from his leg removed. He still had to be careful walking, but as long as he was he didn't need the crutches anymore. Part of him was glad to be off the crutches, but part of him was sad because it meant he was healing which meant time was passing. He wanted to know how it was possible for days to pass, for life to go on, when his parents weren't here.

That weekend he had another nightmare and he promised himself that night, as he lie in bed, trying to catch his breath, he wasn't going to sleep as much anymore. It would be better that way.

On Sunday night he waited until his aunt was asleep and snuck out the front door. He knew he would have to come up with a better escape plan when he heard Bailey start barking as he closed the door. He stood on the porch for a few seconds, tense, praying his aunt wouldn't open the door and see him standing there. Once he was sure she wasn't going to, he made his way down the driveway, the cold wind blowing and stinging his cheeks. Reminding him how alive he really was, even if he didn't feel it.

It woke him up.

He didn't know where he was headed, so he went left and started walking. He passed a gas station (making note it would be a good place to get coffee) and few minutes later a small diner.

It was called The Pancake Hut. He stared at it for a while, before he walked in. There were only a few people there who looked to be college students tiredly working on homework. He scoped out a table in the far corner, partially hidden by a tree.

Once he sat down, he grabbed the book he had stuffed in his pocket of his hoodie. Before opening his book, though, he looked around. The place was small but comfortable.

It was perfect.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _Thanks for reading and please review!_


	6. Found You

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and/or read this story! In case anyone is wondering, I have this story outlined and it will be twenty-five chapters._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six: Found You<strong>

"So, tell me! What's he like?" Natalie turned, startled, to see Brooke staring at her expectantly. She was breathing heavily and strands of her hair had come out of its ponytail and were getting into her eyes. Classes had ended less than two minutes ago; Natalie couldn't believe Brooke had made it to her locker already. She must have run from her classroom at the other end of the school, she was that excited.

"What? Who're you talking about?" Natalie asked as she bent down to unzip her backpack.

"The new kid! Duh!" She bounced on the balls of her feet like a little kid.

"Geez, Brooke. Patience," laughed Natalie. "You are really too excited."

"I can't help it," she whined. "And screw patience! I know you've already met him since you said he was in your chemistry class. He showed up, right?" While she waited for Natalie to answer she fixed her hair, pulling the loose strands that had escaped back into her ponytail.

"Yup, he was there."

"So? What's he like?"

Natalie thought Brooke's question over. While doing so, she exchanged her chemistry book for her history one before zipping her backpack and facing Brooke again. "He's," she started. "He's quiet."

"Quiet?" said Brooke, clearly disappointed. "That's it?"

It wasn't. There was something else about him. It had been the first thing she noticed when she met him. "No. He's—he looked sad. His eyes. They just looked sad."

"Sad?" repeated Brooke, now sounding sad herself. This was one of the many things Natalie loved about Brooke and why Natalie had been friends with her since third grade—her compassion for people. How she put people's feelings and wellbeing before herself. "Well," she added, smiling again, "I'm sure we'll find ways to cheer him up."

"Cheer who up?" asked a gruff voice from behind Natalie. Raff.

"Oh," said Brooke, blush blooming on her face like she had been caught stealing candy she wasn't supposed to have. "We were just talking about the new kid. Natalie just met him. They're chemistry partners."

"You're partners?" he asked, something was hidden behind his voice. Jealously? Anger? She couldn't tell.

"Yeah," Natalie confirmed. At his look Natalie added, "Just _partners,_ Raff."

Brooke must have sensed the tension between the two of them because she quickly made an excuse about forgetting her book and scampered away. As soon as she was gone Raff closed the distance between the two of them. His face was serious, voice hard as he said, "I think you owe me an apology."

Natalie sputtered, leaning as far back against her locker as she could. "Excuse me?"

"An apology for ditching me at The Brick on Friday and then ignoring me all weekend."

Natalie wanted to argue, to fight back. She wanted to yell at him and explain how she didn't do anything wrong and how he should respect her more and should be the one apologizing.

But she didn't.

Her shoulders sagged in defeat and as much as she hated herself for how weak and scared she was, she said, her voice small and timid and _so not her_, "I'm sorry, Raff. I didn't mean to, okay?"

He smirked, looking incredibly pleased with himself. "Apology accepted." He opened his arms and Natalie walked into them, body tensing as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. "You can make it up to me tonight, okay, babe?"

* * *

><p>The rest of the week passed by uneventfully. Natalie didn't talk to Keith much after his first day. He was quieter as the days passed and Natalie felt like she was overstepping when she tried to talk to him. She only saw him in the three classes they had together, and he didn't come join her and her friends for lunch again. She knew he was going through a tough time like Mr. Miles had told her; she figured he needed time to himself.<p>

On Sunday, Raff came over for dinner. Natalie dreaded him coming over all day. Ever since they made up he had been more clingy and they seemed to spend every moment they weren't physically together either texting or talking on the phone. He never gave her a moment to herself and she felt suffocated by him even when they weren't together.

"Natalie. Natalie!"

Natalie jumped up in her chair, blinking out of her daze. She kept finding herself daydreaming instead of joining in the dinner conversations. "What?"

Caroline gave Natalie a reproving look before saying, "Raff was telling me he's going to apply for a job next summer. I was telling him it would be a good thing for you to do, too." Caroline looked over to Raff, smiling and very pleased. "Where were you thinking of working?"

"Maybe a financial company or something. I think learning to interact with different people will be a good ability to learn."

"That's a great idea," smiled Caroline. "What do you think, Natalie? Maybe you guys could work together."

Natalie inwardly groaned. Honestly, she didn't mind the idea of getting a job next summer; it would look good on her collage applications, but to work with Raff? It made her nauseous. "Uh, yeah. It's a good idea, but I was thinking more like the library. I've always—"

"The library," interrupted Caroline. "I'm not so sure the library's the best choice. You can get more experience—"

At this Pete finally spoke up, "I think, Caroline, you should let our daughter decide where _she_ would like to work."

"I'm not going to let our daughter make a decision that will affect her career."

"What is wrong with the library? I volunteered at the library one summer and I turned out fine."

Caroline slammed her fork on her plate and hastily stood. "Well, fine. How about I let you raise our daughter—our children—since my ideas are obviously not good enough."

"Caroline, that's not what I—" Caroline didn't wait for Pete to finish and stalked into the kitchen, plate in hand.

"This is ridiculous," said Zach. "Still have to fight, even when we have company." He stood up, saying, " See ya later, man," to Raff as he walked passed.

As soon as Zach left, Cynthia started crying and Natalie hated how upset she looked. "Hey, Cynthia," Pete said. Cynthia hiccupped, trying to calm herself down. "You know where my secret stash of chocolate is?"

"Yeah," she said, rubbing the tears from her eyes. "In the third drawer down on the left side of your desk in the _way_ back."

"How about you go get a few candy bars and sneak them into your room. And you can even watch TV."

"Really?" she squeaked; a huge smile grew on her face at the words. "I never get chocolate!"

"It's our secret," said Pete, winking at Cynthia; she was out of her chair in a blink of an eye.

When she was gone, Pete turned to Natalie and Raff. "Sorry about this, Raff, but I should go check on Caroline."

"No problem." Raff waited until Pete was gone before he spoke to Natalie. "You know, you'd probably wouldn't have so much family drama if you acted reasonable."

"Reasonable? You think that was _my_ fault?" Anger rose in her voice and she didn't try to calm down.

"It's obvious, Natalie. If you would've agreed with your mother there wouldn't have been any fight."

"So what? I'm supposed to do everything she wants?"

"She only wants what's best for you."

"But what," she started. "What about what I want for me?"

Raff stood up. "Now you're just being selfish. It's getting late; I have homework. I'll see you tomorrow, all right?" Natalie followed him to the front door. He hugged her tightly, but Natalie could only muster a weak hug back. "And don't forget to call me."

* * *

><p>As soon as Natalie stepped foot in the diner, a few hours later, she felt relief flood her. Finally she felt at peace.<p>

It wasn't until she was a few feet away from her normal booth did she realize something was wrong. Someone was sitting in it. For a few brief seconds she stood there, shocked. Ever since she had started frequenting the diner at night, her table had always been available. Always. It had never occurred to her it might not be available some nights.

Natalie was about to turn around and sit in the closest booth she could find and wait until the person left when she recognized the person. If she hadn't been so shocked someone had taken her seat, she probably would have recognized him seconds ago.

Keith.

Although, she had to admit he was kind of hard to recognize. With the hood of his sweatshirt on and how he was angled towards the window, all she mostly saw was his back.

Natalie watched him for a few minutes, noting how he rubbed at his eyes every time he turned the page of his book, like he was having a hard time staying awake. She debated with herself, trying to figure out if she should go say hi. From what she had observed the past week, he preferred to say alone. But no matter how much she told herself it was a bad idea she walked over.

He didn't hear her as she neared as he had ear buds in. Natalie had just opened her mouth to call his name, hoping he heard her, when he turned to take a sip of his coffee and jumped at the sight of her.

"Uh, hi, Keith."

He took one ear bud out, looking wary as he did so; Natalie didn't blame him. "Hi."

Awkward silence followed.

"Hi," she repeated.

Keith now looked both wary and confused. "Did you need something?"

"Well," she gave him a wan smile, "you're in my booth."

"Your booth?"

"Yup. I sit in this booth every night and it would feel really weird if I didn't. Who knows what could happen…bad luck which could result in failed tests and—"

"You can sit here," said Keith, motioning toward the bench in front of him.

"Are you sure? You can say no. There are plenty of other booths…"

"Do you want me to change my mind?"

"Okay, okay! I'm sitting!" She sat down and noticed Keith was already back to reading. He hadn't put his other ear bud back in, though. "So no more crutches?" she asked. She wasn't sure he wanted to talk, but thought it rude to not try and have some type of conversation.

"What?" He looked at her.

"I don't see crutches anywhere, so I assume your leg is better?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, voice strangely soft. "Got the stitches out Friday."

"So you can participate in gym now? You have been slacking off," she joked.

He shrugged. "Maybe a little. I have to be a careful for a few weeks since the skin is still not very strong." Natalie felt herself pale. "I guess that was too much information," he added.

"I'm sorry. I've never been good with that kind of stuff."

"It's okay," he said. Then he went back to reading. Natalie did the same, but she hadn't been reading for more than a few minutes when Keith asked, amused, "Required reading?"

"What?" she asked and then glanced at the cover of her book and felt her face flush. On the cover was a woman in a dress that left little to the imagination, and a guy with his shirt unbuttoned and his prefect chiseled abs showing. "Don't judge my book by its cover!"

Keith held his hand up in mock surrender. "No judgment here."

Natalie huffed and went back to reading, glaring at him every few seconds. She opened her book wide, hoping Keith had a perfect few of the cover, but she was pretty sure he never looked up.

They spent the rest of the night like this, only talking every so often, their conversations short and a little shy. And to Natalie, being here with Keith felt comfortable, like they had been doing this for years.

It felt right.

* * *

><p>Monday after swim practice Natalie and Brooke went to the mall to get last minute accessories for their Halloween costumes. Brooke ended up deciding to go as a fairy and Natalie was going as a sailor to match Raff who was going to be a sailor captain.<p>

They were in a small family-owned store that sold random old knickknacks; it was their favorite place to go. Brooke had discovered a hidden box of crazy hair clips and settled herself down in a small corner to find ones that would match her costume.

"Do you need help picking them out?" asked Natalie.

"No, no, go look around," smiled Brooke, kicking Natalie lightly on the ankle to make her move.

Natalie looked around, nothing really catching her eye until she walked by a shelf of mirrors and a small wooden box full of miscellaneous necklaces, did she see it. A necklace. It was one of the necklaces with a tiny container that held a small piece of rice with something written on it. Normally names, but the rice in this particular necklace had two words written on it: believe and love.

She connected to those two words, even though she couldn't figure out why. She studied the necklace; it was on a small, delicate silver chain and the rice was in a small container that was shaped like a small bottle and the water was colored a light purple.

"Oh, I remember those," said Brooke as she stood next to Natalie. "I got one when I was ten at an art fair. Still have it, actually."

"Really?" asked Natalie. "I've always wanted one, but my parents thought they were stupid. 'You can barely read the writing on the rice, Natalie,'" said Natalie, imitating her mother's voice.

Brooke leaned closer to the necklace. "Love and believe. How pretty. I think you should get it."

"No," said Natalie shaking her head. "It's impractical, and don't you think it's a little childish?"

"No, it's not childish. And who cares if it's impractical, you want it."

"Yeah, but—"

"Come on, Natalie. Get it," Brooke pleaded.

"Okay, okay. I'll get it." She smiled. Brooke was _always_ so convincing.

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later they were sitting in the mall cafeteria eating ice cream. "Hey, Brooke?"<p>

"Yeah?" Brooke ate a huge spoonful of rainbow sherbet, and Natalie was worried it would give her a brain freeze.

"Do you ever feel—" Natalie stopped, rephrasing, "Do you ever feel like not spending time with Travis?"

"What do you mean?" Brooke took her attention off her ice cream, and giving all of it to Natalie.

"Do you ever feel like not talking to Travis or hanging out with him?"

Brooke didn't even need to contemplate this she said, "Well, no not really. I mean, we have our own separate lives. I'm on the swim team; he's on the soccer team. We don't see each other all the time so when we finally do get to hangout we're both excited and we always try to do different activities and stuff."

"Oh."

"Are you and Raff having problems?"

Natalie shrugged. "I dunno. Sometimes I feel like he's suffocating me."

Brooke frowned. "Maybe you should tell him that. Travis and I have discovered talking always helps. Don't keep it all in. That will only cause problems. Trust me."

"Talking, huh?" asked Natalie, dread filling her. Brooke nodded, giving Natalie a small smile. "Yeah, um, that doesn't really work for us…"

Brooke bit her lip like she was trying to prevent herself from what she was going to say. "Have you ever thought—ever wondered—if maybe Raff isn't 'the one'?"

"Of course I've wondered that, but it's stupid."

"Why?"

"Because if I think too much about that I'll never find 'the one.' There's no such thing, Brooke. I can't be too picky. I need to find a guy who can give me what I need and Raff does that."

"What about what you want?"

"It doesn't matter. Brooke, I've always dreamed there's a guy out there for me, but that's just a fairytale. You don't really believe it, do you?"

"Of course I believe it. I believe it because I've found that in, Travis. I've lived it. Trust me, Natalie, when you find him you'll know. Sometimes it doesn't happen right away, Raff may still be the one. You may be scared."

"Yeah, maybe." She played with her ice cream, not hungry anymore.

"But, Natalie?"

"Yeah?"

"Just promise me, if you discover Raff isn't the one you won't stay with him because you don't think you'll find someone else or that you don't deserve someone better. You deserve to be happy."

* * *

><p>The next two nights Natalie met Keith at the diner and by Wednesday, when Keith joined her at the table an hour after she arrived, she couldn't believe how comfortable this was. It felt like they had been spending their nights together at the diner for years. Months, at least.<p>

They didn't talk much, and Natalie didn't care. They didn't need to talk to feel conformable around each other.

"Hey," said Keith after he placed his history textbook and a notebook on the table. "Sorry I'm late. I kinda fell asleep." He looked almost angry with himself and he yawed like he wasn't fully awake yet.

For some reason, this comment caused excitement to fill Natalie. They had a set time to meet every night? "No problem," she said. By the way he kept yawning and rubbing his eyes it looked like he hadn't gotten enough seep, but she didn't question him why he woke up to come here.

"I ordered more coffee, requested a whole pot actually," she said, feeling quite proud of herself.

The corners of his mouth twitched, almost grinning, but it never grew into a full smile. Natalie desperately wanted to see him really, truly smile. Watch his smile fill his face and light his eyes, their shine filling the room. But he never did smile, not like that. She wondered why. "Perfect," said Keith. "I'll need it. Huge history essay."

"I've got about five hundred math problems to do, and I'm pretty much lost. I feel your pain."

"Math, huh?" Natalie confirmed this with a groan. "You know, I may personally know the best math whiz there is."

"Oh, really?" Natalie smirked, playing along. "Well, please tell this math whiz. Wait, the best math whiz—I would really love his help, but to not get too cocky."

Keith let out a choked breath, like he was _this close_ to laughing. He didn't laugh, though. Like smiling, he never did. "I'll let him know." Keith nodded in the direction of her math book that was as close to the wall as she could get. "You want help?"

"Really?"

"Like I said. Best math whiz there is."

"Seriously, you're a life saver." Natalie grabbed her math book and was showing Keith the math section she was having problems with when Julie brought over their coffee and two pieces of pie.

"I thought you and your friend would like to try your favorite item."

"Thanks," smiled Natalie. Once Julie left Natalie pushed a plate towards Keith. "You have got to try this pie, it's amazing." She dug into her pie, taking her first bite and savoring it. After she was done chewing she frowned at Keith who had yet to take a bite. "Go on. What are you waiting for? Your mouth is about to experience the best thing ever."

"Well, on that note I better try it." He took a bite then and Natalie watched his face for a reaction. When his eyes closed she smiled to herself, pleased.

When he opened his eyes he said, "You weren't lying." He took another bite. "What kind of pie is this?" Another bite and the pie was more than half gone.

"Mystery Pie."

Keith leaned back against the booth. "You're not going to tell me? And to think I _was _going to help you with your math."

"Hey! It's not my fault. I did. That's what Julie calls it. I've been trying to figure out what's in it for months, she won't tell me. Any ideas?"

"Definitely raspberries and cranberries." He ate the last of his pie then said, "And rhubarb."

"Rhubarb? Really?" Natalie took a bite then, and there it was the tart taste of the rhubarb. "Oh my god, you're right. How did you figure that out?"

Keith shrugged, gazed focused on the table. "Just know—_knew_—someone who loved it. Hey, are you ready to start those math problems?"

"Yeah, definitely." It took Natalie a few seconds to process what he had asked since he had changed conversation topics so quickly.

"Great," he said, clearing his throat. "And do you think there's any way I could get another piece of pie?"

Natalie laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. "You guys and your stomachs. And, yes, I think Julie would love to feed you more of her pie."

By the end of the night, Keith ate three pieces.

* * *

><p>Friday night arrived quickly and Natalie was beginning to love the nighttime. Now she didn't spend the time at the diner alone, she looked forward to coming and staying awake with the moon and with Keith.<p>

Keith. He was a mystery. He was still quiet and his eye still held the sadness she had first seen. And unlike Natalie it seemed like he had a hard time staying awake rather than not being able to sleep. She figured this out by the few times she found he had fallen asleep at the table, head laying on a book or his homework.

All the other nights, she let him sleep until he woke, normally quickly and looking a little freaked out, but tonight was different. He was making weird twitching movements and with the way he had his head pillowed on his sweater she wasn't sure he could breathe properly and was worried he was suffocating.

"Keith?" she whispered. He didn't move so she raised her voice and shook his shoulder, hoping she didn't freak him out. "Keith!"

Keith bolted up, knocking his book off the table and almost spilling his cup of coffee. "What's going on?" he mumbled, bending down and picking up his book from underneath the table.

"I'm sorry," said Natalie, looking guilty. "I didn't mean to wake you. You were twitching and stuff. With the way you were sleeping it looked like you couldn't breathe or something."

"Don't be sorry," said Keith, his voice still thick with sleep. It looked like he had a hard time keeping his eyes open, with the way they kept falling closed; it seemed to take a lot of energy for him to keep them open. "It's fine. I shouldn't be sleeping anyway." He shook his head as if this would help wake himself up.

This comment intrigued and also worried Natalie, so she couldn't stop herself from asking, "What do you mean?"

"What?"

"You said you shouldn't be sleeping. Did you mean sleeping here? If you need to go home—"

"No!" he said frantically. "I don't need to leave. I'm fine. Nothing coffee won't help." At this, he grabbed his cup of coffee and took a sip.

Natalie watched him for a few seconds before she asked, voice timid, "Keith, why do you spend all night at the diner?"

He opened his mouth a few times and seemed to be internally debating something. "I don't like to sleep," he finally said.

"Why?"

His whole body froze at this question. "I just don't, okay?" he snapped. Natalie flinched, and he noticed. "I'm sorry," he said, voice quiet. "I don't like to talk about it."

Natalie frowned. "It's okay," she said voice soft and she hoped comforting. "I'm sorry I pried." She watched him as he stared at the table. Eyes fixed, eyes frozen. "But if you ever want to talk, I'm here. I'll listen."

He gave a short nod at that, and grabbed his textbook, still not looking at her. A few minutes later, he spoke, voice quieter than before, "Okay."

* * *

><p>A few hours later, they walked out of the diner and Natalie turned to Keith, hugging her arms close to her chest as the cold air enveloped her. "I won't be here tomorrow night."<p>

A flash of disappointment graced Keith's face, Natalie was sure, but it was gone as quickly as it came. "Oh. Why?"

"I'm having a Halloween party."

"Don't sound so excited."

"I'm not. It wasn't really my idea. I was unaware of the plans until after they were made, basically." Keith stood there, teeth chattering with cold, and she hesitantly said, "You're invited. It's at seven."

"I don't do parties."

"Oh, okay. No problem. Sunday then?"

"Sunday," he confirmed, before turning around. She watched him walk away until he blended in with the darkness.

* * *

><p>Saturday night arrived—the night of the Halloween party—and Brooke was finishing Natalie's makeup when Zach walked in her room, of course without knocking.<p>

"Hey, Natalie when's—"

"What are you doing!" she screamed, jumping up and barely escaping from getting poked in the eye with an eye shadow brush.

He looked guilty. "Uh, eating chips."

"Those are for the guests! Don't eat anymore!"

Zach crammed the last handful in his mouth, as if he was afraid she would take them away. "Sorry, but I'm hungry."

"That's disgusting," said Natalie.

"So when is everyone coming?" It was then his eyes went wide and he asked, "What are you wearing?"

Natalie look down at herself. She was wearing a short, blue dress that had a low neckline, which had white and red trim around it. She accessorized the sailor costume with knee high white socks, black high heels, and a sailor hat. "Uh, my costume."

"What costume? There's like no fabric to that thing. Wear something else."

"No," said Natalie. "Go to your room and stop annoying us."

Zach was still staring at the outfit disapprovingly as he asked again, "When are people showing up?"

"In like half an hour."

Zach nodded. "All right. Well, I'm going to be in my room."

"Thank god," said Natalie, glad he would not be mingling with her friends. "Less chance of you embarrassing me."

"If that's the case, maybe I will come down. I can't miss an opportunity to humiliate my older sister."

"Zach," she started, but before he could finish the doorbell rang. Quickly she said, "If you do anything to embarrass me, you'll regret it. I'll tell Mom and Dad where you really were last July fourth."

Zach visible paled. "O-okay fine. I'll behave."

Natalie glared at her brother's retreating back before she quickly ran down the stairs; she opened the front door to see Raff standing there in his sailor costume. White pants and shit with a blue jacket that had gold and red trim with white. "What took you so long?" he asked, pushing his way in.

"Sorry, Zach was being a dick." She followed him into the kitchen and when he set down a two cases of beer on the table.

He placed both his hands on her shoulders. "Now let me look at you." He studied her for a few minutes. "You look sexy. What's this?" he asked, grabbing hold of the necklace she had bought on Monday.

"A necklace. I got it this week. Do you like it?"

He dropped the necklace like it disgusted him. "It's hideous. Take it off."

"But I thought it was pretty. Look, the rice has—"

"Take it off, Natalie. I don't want you embarrassing me."

"Keep it on, Natalie, it's great," spoke up Brooke, who had walked in the kitchen, surprising Natalie and it looked like Raff too.

"Whatever," said Raff. "People are going to start arriving soon."

* * *

><p>The party was actually fun. Although, Natalie figured she may be thinking this because of the few beers she had consumed. It was nearing nine and Natalie and Brooke were debating which song to do karaoke to when the doorbell rang. Before Natalie had the chance to get up, Travis was screaming, "Natalie! Natalie! Door!"<p>

"I'm coming!" She pushed her way through some people before arriving at the door. "Travis, why don't you just let them in?"

He turned around. "Uh, it's that new kid. He wants to talk to you."

"Keith!" said Brooke. Natalie didn't know she had followed her. "Oh my god! I have to say hi. I've never really properly introduced myself."

Natalie wasn't quick enough and she watched as Brooke pushed Travis away and screamed, "Keith, hi!" before flinging herself at him.

Keith stumbled back a bit, the hood of his sweatshirt falling off his head at the impact. His arms stayed frozen at his sides, like he wasn't sure what to do, as Brooke hugged him. Natalie quickly pried Brooke off Keith. "Hey, Brooke. Go finish finding a song for us to sing, okay?"

"Okay! Bye, Keith!"

"Bye," he said, sounding a little dazed.

"Hey, Keith," said Natalie, walking up to him. "Sorry about that."

"No problem," he said. "Uh, is that invitation still open?" Natalie didn't answer him; she couldn't help staring him. "Natalie?"

"Your hair," she blurted out.

"What?" sputtered Keith, bringing his hand to touch his head.

Natalie felt a blush grown on her face. "I—uh—this is the first time I've seen you without a hood on. I just. Sorry." His hair was a dark brown and grew a little below his ears and it _looked so soft_.

"Oh," he mumbled. He quickly put the hood back on. "So, do you mind if I come in?"

Natalie grinned. "'Course not! Come on, partner, get ready to have some fun." And then she grabbed his hand and led him inside.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It was very fun to write! Just so you know, I'm going to try my hardest to update in two weeks, but if I don't I may not get a new chapter posted until the middle of April. _I'm going on vacation and will be moving into an apartment in the next few weeks! But don't worry, I won't make you wait too long! _ _

_Please review and let me know what you think!_


	7. Forever Changed

**A/N: **_Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy!_

**Warning:**_ There are scenes of underage drinking in this chapter._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven: Forever Changed<strong>

Keith stumbled up the stairs half asleep and barely able to keep his eyes open. Bailey, who slept in Keith's room (_on_ his bed), followed behind, biting Keith's ankles impatiently.

"Bailey, stop it," said Keith, voice thick with sleep. "Go in front of me if you're so impatient." As if Bailey understood, he detached himself from Keith and shot up the rest of the stairs; he waited at the top for Keith, though.

Once Keith made it to the kitchen he started brewing a pot of coffee and poured a bowl of cereal. Sitting on the couch in the living room, he ate. He tried to watch television, but it seemed like everything had to deal with death; he could never get away from it. The coffee helped wake him up a little, but he still had a hard time keeping his eyes open. It was like he was surrounded in a fog, and he didn't know how to escape unless he slept. And he was not going to succumb to that.

Being tired was much better than dealing with nightmares. It wasn't like he didn't sleep at all; he got at least a few hours everyday. Normally he slept a few hours before and after school. If he slept in two-hour increments the nightmares didn't come as often and if they did, weren't as intense. Sometimes, though, he accidentally fell asleep and forgot to set his alarm or slept through it and he would wake trembling and terrified. Which is exactly what had happened a few minutes ago.

No matter how much coffee he drank, though, his head fell against the back of the couch and his eyes closed against his will. The next thing he knew Bailey was barking and Melissa was walking into the kitchen, setting two armfuls of groceries on the table.

"Hey, Keith," she said, spotting him on the couch.

"Hi," he said, sitting up. It caused him to get a head rush. "Do you need help?"

"Nope, this is all of it." She grabbed two Target bags and walked over to him. "I bought you some clothes. I hope you don't mind. If you don't like them or need a different size, let me know."

Keith took the bags from her and set them on his lap. At Melissa's expectant look he opened them. Inside, he found two pairs of jeans and two hoodies; the hoodies were like the one he wore everyday, but in grey and blue instead of his normal black. "Thanks," he whispered.

"I noticed you were wearing the same sweatshirt everyday and didn't have many pairs of pants. I saw this stuff while I was at Target and…"

"They're great. Thanks." He yawned.

"Did you just get up?" she asked, taking in the yawn and his pajamas he was still wearing: flannel pants and a grey t-shirt.

"Kinda, yeah," he admitted. Quickly he added, "I was up late doing homework."

"On a Friday night?"

"Yeah."

"You look exhausted." _Four hours of sleep in the past two days would do that to someone_, he thought. "Are your classes too hard?"

Keith shook his head. "No, they're fine. I just like to get my homework done Friday night so I don't have to worry about it the rest of the weekend," he lied.

"Oh, I see. I was like that in college." She walked into the kitchen and started unpacking groceries. Keith got up, bags in one hand, empty coffee cup in the other. He walked over to the coffee pot and emptied the rest of the coffee into his cup. As he was doing so, Melissa said, "So, Keith, I know this is last minute but we're having company for dinner tonight."

Keith rinsed out the empty pot and placed it back on the coffee machine. "Really? Who?"

Melissa turned to look at him. "Jake. My boyfriend. I wanted to wait awhile for you to get adjusted with moving and school before you met him, but he's been really pestering me to finally meet you."

"Oh, okay. What time?"

"He'll be here at five." Keith glanced at the clock above the stove. It was two o'clock. "Maybe you could take a nap before dinner," she suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," said Keith. He was quiet for a while, before he asked, "Hey, Aunt Melissa?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"You know Natalie Anderson? She watches Bailey?"

Melissa stopped unloading groceries to look at him. "Yeah, I know her. Did you find out I asked her to show you around school? I hope that was okay."

Keith felt guilty at how he had treated Natalie the first day; she had only been trying to help. "No, it's fine. I was just wondering: did you tell her anything about me? About the accident? That my parents," he took a moment before he finished with, "died?"

Melissa shook her head, and at that Keith felt relief flood through him. "No, I didn't. I figured that should be something you tell her. Did you want me to?"

"No!" exclaimed Keith quickly. "No, I don't want her to know yet." He wasn't sure when he was going to tell her (if ever).

"Okay, that's fine. But, sweetie, I know telling her would be really hard, but if you start becoming really good friends telling her would probably be a good idea."

Keith wanted to get mad at his aunt for saying this because he didn't want to believe it, but he knew she was right. The problem? He didn't know if he would ever be able to tell Natalie. He was too scared to think of what she would do once she found out what he had done.

* * *

><p>A few minutes before five, Keith walked upstairs, uncertain on what his aunt wanted him to do. When he walked into the kitchen, she was frantically finishing up dinner.<p>

"Great," said Melissa, as Keith walked over to her. "I was just about to call you up. Were you able to sleep at all?" She had yet to look at him, her attention was focused on the potatoes she was mashing.

"Um…yeah," he lied. Sleeping had been the last thing he had done for the past three hours, no matter how much he had wanted to.

"That's great," she said, standing up and turning in his direction. "Could you grab the heavy whipping cream from the fridge?"

"Yeah, sure." He opened the fridge and grabbed the small bottle of cream.

When he handed the cream to his aunt she asked, "Are you wearing the clothes I bought you?"

Keith looked down at the jeans and blue hoodie he was wearing. "Yeah, they fit great. Thanks."

Melissa gave him a wide smile. "I'm glad. If you ever need anything let me know and we can go shopping or I can give you money, okay?" She poured at least a cup of the heavy cream into the mashed potatoes before handing it back to him.

"Okay," said Keith, putting the cream back into the fridge.

"Maybe I should start giving you a weekly allowance," Melissa said suddenly. "What did your parents—" She cut herself off at that, glancing at Keith with a worried expression, as if she was waiting for him to blow up or break down. She opened her mouth to say something but was saved by the doorbell. "That should be Jake," she murmured, quickly walking to the front door. Keith wasn't sure what to do so he stood where he was, hands in the pocket of his jeans.

Jake was a tall, big-boned guy, and standing by Melissa, who was already short and petite, made her look even tinier. Melissa introduced them and when Jake held out his hand, Keith shook it. Jake's grip was strong, almost crushing Keith's fingers; Keith wondered if he was doing it on purpose.

"Nice to meet you," said Jake, his voice gruff and unwelcoming.

"You too," said Keith, finally pulling his hand away.

Awkward silence followed, but Melissa broke it by ushering them into the dinning room where the table was already set. She brought the mashed potatoes over before joining Keith and Jake at the table.

Dinner was silent as they filled their plates. "So, Keith," started Jake after taking a rather large bite of his meatloaf. "I heard about the accident, obviously, and I'm really, really sorry to hear your parents died. That must be awful, especially since you were with them and survived. I'm sorry you're going through that; it must be tough. But at least you have your beautiful aunt willing to take you in."

Keith sat there, fork halfway to his mouth, shocked. "Uh, thanks?"

Melissa seemed frantic to change topics and said, "Keith started school a few weeks ago and loves it. Right, Keith?"

"Yeah, it's cool."

"You go to Beaver Creek High, right?" Keith nodded. "I went there for high school. Was on the football team. What sports are you going to play?"

"None."

"None," grunted Jake, looking shocked and disappointed. He turned to Melissa. "You really need to get your nephew to participate in a sport."

"Why?" asked Melissa, looking curious. "As long as he's happy, I don't care what he does."

"Because sports build character. They teach a boy to learn how to be tough and how to become a man."

Keith had only known Jake for thirty minutes, but he really wasn't growing to like him. "I think I'll pass."

To say Jake looked angry was an understatement. He gripped his beer bottle so tightly Keith thought it was going to break. Melissa quickly interjected, shifting her gaze between the two of them. "I'm sure Keith will look into it, and if he finds something he's interested in he'll join. Right, Keith?"

"No. I'm not joining any sports, so stop talking about it."

Jake's face got red with anger. "_Don't_ talk to your aunt like that. Do you understand me?" His voice was low, but it still held venom.

"Jake," started Melissa. Her eyes looked a little wet. "It's okay—"

"It's not okay! He shouldn't talk back to you like that."

Keith stood up. He was not dealing with this. "I'm full."

"Where are you going?" asked Melissa, frantic.

"Out," he quickly walked to the front door.

"When will you be back?" Melissa asked, following behind him.

Keith didn't bother to look back, just called over his shoulder, "Late," as he slammed the door.

He only made it a few feet before someone grabbed his shoulder. Jake. Had he been following him? How had he not heard? "Keith, we need to have a man-to-man talk."

"Get off me," growled Keith. Luckily, Jake let go without a fight. Keith backed away from Jake, but then his back hit the house and he was cornered. "What?" he snapped.

"Listen here, Keith," said Jake, voice sharp, angry.

"Your aunt, for reasons I cannot figure out, really wants you here. I'll be honest, I tried to get her to say no and not take you in. She has—_had_—so much going for her, with her job, with me, and having you would only prevent her from succeeding. But she wouldn't change her mind. And I can be _very _convincing." He stopped to take a long gulp of his beer. Keith was silent. When Jake was done drinking he lifted his hand and placed it on Keith's shoulder and squeezed. Hard. Keith made sure not to make a noise.

"Here's the thing: you may not know this, but your aunt doesn't have to keep you. You understand? You aren't her kid; you're no one's kid anymore. She can always give you up." Keith took in a shaky breath, but didn't speak. "You will _stop _being mean to her, _stop_ making her cry, and _stop_ being a pain in the ass. You understand?"

His grip tightened on Keith's shoulder. "Y-Yeah," said Keith. "I understand."

"Good. _Good_. Just remember, boy. I'm not your father and I won't think twice about teaching you a lesson. Remember that."

* * *

><p>Keith ran and didn't stop until he arrived at The Pancake Hut. He ordered a cup of coffee and tried to stop shaking. Two cups later, he had finally calmed down and the adrenaline that had been coursing through him lessened, only to leave him more tired than before. No matter how much coffee he drank, he could barely keep his eyes open. Being here, at the diner, was so much different without Natalie to keep him company. He was seriously debating showing up at her party. He decided against it at first, but an hour later, after finding himself falling asleep half a dozen times, he got up and left.<p>

He was going to Natalie's.

* * *

><p>Keith let Natalie lead him into her house. As soon as he saw how many people were crowded inside, he almost turned around and bolted out the front door. But he didn't. Instead, he let Natalie lead him into her kitchen. There, she finally let go of his hand. He tried not to feel so disappointed. "So what do you want to drink?"<p>

"Uh…" He looked around the kitchen as if it had the choices displayed somewhere.

"We have beer," she interjected. "You don't have to have that, though! I have pop, too." She bounded over to the fridge, waiting for him to answer.

"Beer's fine," he said. Keith could count on one hand how many times he had drank beer. He really only asked for it so he had something to hold on to.

"Great!" she said. She grabbed a beer from the fridge and handed it to him.

"Thanks." He popped the can open and looked around. There were decorations everywhere. Orange and black streamers were tapped across the ceiling and cobwebs with plastic spiders were stuck in random corners all around the house. Keith could see the dining room from the kitchen, and the table was filled with food: chips and dip, candy corn, cupcakes with black and orange frosting and decorated with pumpkin and spider designs, and more. He had to give Natalie credit, she had done a good job. "Looks good," he said.

"Really?" she asked. "I spent practically all day decorating."

"I really like—" He wasn't able to finish his sentence as Brooke came running into the room. Keith was worried she was going to trip and fall or bump into a wall and damage the fairy wings she had attached to her back.

"Natalie!" she squealed. "I picked a song!"

"Which one?" asked Natalie.

Brooke didn't answer; instead, she turned her attention to Keith, eyes wide. "Is_ that_ your costume?" she asked aghast.

"What?" questioned Keith.

"What is your costume suppose to be?" She seemed honestly confused.

Keith glanced at his jeans and hoodie. "Nothin'."

"But this is a Halloween party. Did you forget?"

"No."

Brooke looked confused. "Oh. Why didn't you dress up then?"

"I don't dress up."

"Oh, okay. That's fine, then!" She turned her attention back to Natalie. "So I decided on 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' by Britney Spears. Great, huh?"

Keith opened his mouth to ask why Brooke kept talking about singing and songs, but Natalie answered this before he could ask. "We're singing karaoke. I know, kind of weird for a Halloween party, but I couldn't think of much entertainment."

"I see," said Keith.

"You should totally sing!" exclaimed Brooke. "We have a whole book of songs to choose from."

"I don't sing."

"You don't have to be good," laughed Brooke. "It's just for fun. No one cares what you sound like."

"I think I'll pass."

Brooke looked disappointed, but Keith was glad she didn't start crying or something. "You can watch us!" she said, grabbing Natalie and pulling her into the living room. Keith followed.

The living room was extremely crowded and Keith had to push passed a bunch of people to finally get to a corner of the room where there was an empty space for him to stand. Keith couldn't see Brooke and Natalie very well, but he could hear them. They weren't that bad. After the song ended, they disappeared and Keith didn't bother to try and find them.

For the next half hour, he listened to people performing karaoke (mostly girls). The room was getting more crowded and he was debating going outside for a while when a girl walked over. She was stumbling a little and Keith wondered how many beers she had drank. He couldn't stop staring at her; she was wearing basically no clothes. It looked like she had thrown on a pair of black underwear and bra and called it a costume. He wondered what she was, but didn't want to ask.

"Hey, I'm Mia," she said. "Are you that new kid?" She took a gulp of her beer and stumbled rather gracefully into the wall.

"Yeah."

"Do you actually know someone here?"

"Yeah, I know Natalie."

"Oooohhh. How weird," she said. At this, he started to walk away. "Hey, where are you going!"

He found solace outside on the porch. But not for long. A few minutes later, Raff walked outside. "Just who I was looking for," said Raff, an edge to his voice.

"What do you want?" asked Keith. He was beginning to realize attending this party was a really bad idea.

Raff was silent for a few moments before he said, "I just want you to know Natalie is _mine_, so don't get any ideas."

"Trust me," started Keith, "I have no intentions of taking Natalie from you."

Raff chuckled. "Right. She's been mentioning you an awful lot. Pissing me off, actually. So I thought I'd warn you." Raff stared at Keith, and then said, smirking, "Plus, you're really not her type."

"And what exactly is her type?" asked Keith, standing up taller.

"Me."

"Oh, really?" laughed Keith sarcastically. "A disrespectful, arrogant jock? I would _never_ have pegged that as her type."

"What the fuck did you just say?" Raff stalked towards Keith, anger in his eyes, but at that moment Natalie and Brooke ran onto the porch, a guy and girl following close behind them.

"Keith!" said Natalie, "We've been looking everywhere for you." She glanced between Raff and Keith, looking worried. "What are you guys doing?"

"Just talking," said Raff quickly. Keith stayed silent.

"Are you having fun?" she asked, looking directly at Keith.

"Blast," said Keith. He could feel Raff's eyes boring into his skull.

Just then a petite blonde girl walked over and said, "Hey, I'm Trish!" She was dressed as Dorothy. "And this," she said, pulling a red-headed guy to stand next to her. "Is my boyfriend, Robbie."

"Nice costume," joked Robbie, nodding towards Keith.

"Uh, thanks," said Keith, glancing at Robbie's costume. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt but had red stuff, which Keith assumed was suppose to be blood, all over him. "What are you?"

Robbie laughed. "I really wanted to play with the fake blood so I just ripped my clothes up and poured fake blood all over. I tell people I died in a car accident and am—drum roll, please—Dead Man Walking." He looked down at himself and said, "I hope it's realistic."

"I wouldn't worry about that," said Keith. He said goodbye to Trish and Robbie and walked over to Natalie; he felt more comfortable around her. Raff was glaring at him, but he didn't care.

"Hey!" said Natalie, looking pleased to see him. She glanced down at his empty hands. "Do you need—"

She didn't get to finish her sentence before the sliding glass door slammed open and a guy from inside jumped out and screamed, "It's midnight! Officially Halloween, which means tomorrow is November first. Which is? MY BIRTHDAY!" He screamed some more, and was dragged back into the house when people started yelling something about noise complaints.

Keith froze. The guy's words repeated in his head. In one day, it would be a month since his parents had died and here he was at a party, trying to have some fun on one of his mom's favorites holidays. A holiday she would never get to celebrate again and all because of him. He felt like he was going to be sick. The guilt he was feeling physically hurt. It ran through his veins and it was all he could feel. "I-I need to go," he choked out.

"What? Already?" asked Natalie, looking disappointed.

"I'm-I'm sorry."

"Is something wrong? Are you sick?" she asked.

He shook his head, but he knew she didn't believe him when he saw she was staring at his hands, which were shaking violently. "I-I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Do you want me to walk you home? You really don't look very good."

"No." He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down but it didn't work. His next words came out shaky, even though he tried hard for them not to. "I'm okay, Natalie. Thanks for inviting me." She opened her mouth to say something, but he didn't wait to hear. He bolted. He pushed passed people in the house, not carrying if he bumped into anyone or stepped on any feet, he just had to _get away_.

He didn't stop running until he was a house down from Natalie's. There, he stopped to try and calm himself down. If he didn't calm down soon he was certain he was going to throw up. Just as he leaned against a tree, the front door of Natalie's house slammed open and Natalie appeared, calling his name. Raff followed close behind and as soon as he appeared she stopped calling for Keith.

Keith watched, transfixed as they started fighting; they weren't yelling so all he could hear were mumbled words. They didn't fight long, when suddenly Raff grabbed at something around Natalie's neck and pulled. Whatever he had grabbed, he threw into the bushes. Natalie ran down the porch steps and over to the bushes, searching; she gave up quickly, though, and stormed back into the house. Raff followed.

Keith waited a few seconds to make sure they didn't come back out before he walked over to the bushes. After a few minutes of looking, he saw something shiny and picked it up. It was the necklace he had seen Natalie wear everyday this week. The chain was broken, and the purple water that had filled the bottle had leaked out. Looking closely, the light from the porch helping him, he saw the piece of rice was still in the bottle. The necklace was pretty broken but Keith knew.

He could fix it.

* * *

><p>On Sunday, Keith spent all day fixing the necklace. In his aunt's craft room, which was in the basement as well, Keith found a piece of leather and some purple glitter. He wasn't sure why he was putting so much effort into fixing the necklace, but he wanted to see Natalie smile. As he was researching ways to make the leather into a chain his aunt knocked and opened the door a few inches and called, "Hey, Keith? Can we talk?"<p>

His heart stopped beating for a second, knowing exactly what his aunt wanted to talk about. He knew he couldn't ignore her so he said, "Uh, sure."

He closed his laptop and stared at his aunt expectantly. She leaned against the wall next to his desk. "I want to talk about last night."

"Okay," said Keith hesitantly.

"I'm sorry Jake was trying to push you into joining a sport. Jake, he's…just very passionate about certain things and sometimes it makes him seem mean, but he really means well. And he's a really nice, gentle guy once you get to know him. I hope you guys can put what happened yesterday behind you and start over."

Keith was about to tell his aunt that was _never_ going to happen, but then the words Jake said to him yesterday flooded his mind and he said, "Yeah, sure."

* * *

><p>That night, Keith got to the diner earlier than normal and was surprised to see Natalie already there. As he sat down, Natalie seemed extremely surprised, but happy to see him. "You came," she whispered.<p>

"Of course," said Keith. "Why wouldn't—"

"I'm so sorry," she gushed. "Whatever I did or said I'm so sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" asked Keith.

"Because you left the party so quickly, I thought—I thought I did something wrong."

Keith waited until their eyes locked and then he said, voice soft and hopefully reassuring, "You did nothing wrong."

She visibly relaxed, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "Really?" she breathed.

"Yeah, I left because I remembered I forgot to do something." It sounded lame even to him and he was sure she wasn't going to believe him. But she did.

She smiled. "Well, I hope you had fun."

"I did," said Keith. He did have a little fun, but only when he had been with her. She made him forget about his parents for a while and no one else could do that. "Watching you and Brooke sing karaoke was quite the entertainment."

She groaned. Loudly. "Oh god. Don't remind me. I want to forget that. Forget the whole night, actually."

"It didn't end well, then?"

"Nope. Raff and I got into another fight. So that's just great. I really hope fighting this much in a relationship is normal."

"I wouldn't know," supplied Keith, flagging down Julie. She nodded, giving him a smile; she knew exactly what he wanted: coffee.

"Oh, please," said Natalie. "You're telling me you've never had a girlfriend."

"I believe that is exactly what I'm saying, partner." He remembered she had called him that nickname last night and he liked it. It worked.

She shook her head in disbelief. "That really surprises me," she whispered; her voice had been so low Keith had barely heard her.

"Why?" he whispered back.

"It just does."

Keith wondered what she meant; he decided not to ask. He may have wondered, but he didn't really want to know. Julie arrived with their personal pot of coffee and while they both fixed their drinks, Keith figured this was the best time to give her the necklace.

"Hey," he said, grabbing the necklace from his pocket. "I found this." He laid the necklace in front of her. "I recognized it; you wore it all week."

Natalie's eyes got wide at the necklace lying on the table. "You found this? I thought you had left…before I lost it."

Keith didn't want to admit he had seen Raff and her fighting so he said, "Nah, I was saying goodbye to some other guys first. I saw it in the bushes by your house when I left."

Natalie picked it up, eyes narrowing curiously at the necklace. "It's different. The chain is leather now and the water, it looks like there's glitter in there instead of the water just being dyed."

"Uh. Yeah. I fixed it."

"You_ fixed_ it?"

He nodded. "When I found it the water was gone and chain was broke." Tears filled Natalie's eyes. Crying was not a good sign, he didn't think. "Uh, I probably shouldn't have fixed it. I'm sorry it doesn't look like it did before."

"No," she said quickly, shaking her head. "This was so nice of you. This probably took you all day." Keith didn't deny this; it was true.

She looked up at him then. "Keith, thank you."

And there it was. The smile.

* * *

><p>Monday, Keith woke after only two hours of sleep, angrier and sadder than normal. Which was surprising because he didn't think it had been possible. He knew why he felt like this, though. Today marked one month since his parents had died.<p>

He tried not to let it show, but he knew there was only so much he could do to act normal, happy. He stayed away from people most of the day, which wasn't too out of the ordinary. He only had short conversations with Natalie and he could tell she noticed something was wrong; he was glad she didn't ask what was bothering him.

By his last class, gym, Keith was in a terrible mood. It was his first day he could actually participate in gym, though, and he hoped he'd be able to release his aggression on some type of sport.

He changed into shorts and a red t-shirt before walking into the gym. Having watched the class from the bleachers for the past few weeks, he knew the protocol and sat on a random space on the floor and waited for Coach Tammy to show up. A few minutes later, Natalie sat next to him. Like usual she was wearing a tight pair of gym pants and an even tighter shirt, and like usual he had to force himself to look away and not stare.

"You're finally joining us," she said, hitting her shoulder against his playfully.

"Yup. Did you—"

"Oh my god," interrupted Natalie.

"What?" asked Keith. He saw Natalie staring at the jagged red scar on his calf, eyes wide.

"That looks so painful," she breathed. Surprising Keith, she gently traced her fingers along the scar; her touch made goose bumps appear on his arms, and he hoped she didn't notice. "Does it hurt?"

"No. It's fine now."

"How," —she took her finger away and Keith wished she hadn't— "did it happen again?"

Keith wasn't sure how much he was ready to tell her so he just said, "Glass."

"Glass, seriously?" He nodded. "How did you manage that? I mean—that must've been a huge piece to cause that injury."

"It was…" He cleared his throat. "It happened in a car accident."

At his admission, Natalie's head shot up to look Keith in the face. "Car accident? You were in a car accident recently?"

"You could say that."

"Oh." She bit her lip and looked as if she was debating something then said, "Is that why your aunt flew to Michigan?"

"Yeah," Keith said quickly. This conversation was getting too personal. "I'll tell you about it sometime, all right?"

"Okay," said Natalie. He was glad she didn't press him to tell her now.

Coach Tammy arrived just as the bell rang and she spent the first fifteen minutes of class leading the students through her stretching routine. Apparently she didn't have a lesson planned, because once they were done she told the class they could do whatever they wanted as long as they were moving.

At this, Natalie groaned. "Only one more week until swimming, I hope I can survive."

"Swimming?" asked Keith.

Natalie brightened. "Yup. It's my favorite lesson. Coach Tammy is my swim coach, too. Have you not read the class schedule?"

"Uh, no. Guess I forgot," he muttered. He admitted to himself he was a little worried about swimming; the last time he was in the water he almost drowned.

And his parents died.

The thought made the anger that had diminished when he had started talking to Natalie rise to the surface and he grabbed a basketball that had rolled by his feet and started slamming it against the wall. Over and over again. As soon as the ball bounced back his way, he caught it and slammed it against the wall again as hard as he could.

Suddenly Natalie caught the ball before he could and said in a stern voice, "What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He was breathing heavily and he could feel sweat dripping down his face. "Give me the ball back."

Natalie placed her free hand on her hip. "It looked like you were taking out some anger on the ball. What's wrong with you today? Your mood keeps changing and you've been acting—"

"Nothing is wrong, okay? Give me the ball back."

"Fine," she growled. She threw the ball at him; it hit him hard in the chest, leaving him breathless for a few seconds. "Whatever." She walked away but stopped after a few feet, and added, voice strangely soft compared to the harsh tone she had just spoken to him in, "I don't understand you sometimes, partner. If you just told me what was bothering you—I_ know _something is bothering you—I could help you." She waited for him to say something, but he never did so she walked away.

* * *

><p>Keith skipped the diner that night and instead walked the streets. He thought about the accident and how sometimes he wished he would have died in it, too; he thought about his parents and how he missed them so much it felt like he couldn't breathe; he thought how nothing was ever going to be the same again: his life, himself. He was forever changed.<p>

* * *

><p>On Tuesday, Keith fell asleep in almost every class. He got caught twice. He could barely focus on anything and was so tired he felt sick. By nighttime he walked to the diner and hoped Natalie wasn't still pissed at him. He arrived before her this time, and when she finally did show up, wearing sweatpants and sporting wet hair, she gave him a small smile when she saw him.<p>

"Hey, Keith," she said as she sat down.

"Hey," he replied.

"I'm sorry," they both blurted out at the same time. Natalie grinned and Keith felt the corners of his mouth curve into an almost-smile. They didn't apologize anymore after that; they didn't need to.

Not even an hour later, Keith could barely keep his eyes open and he knew he had to do something instead of reading or he was going to lose his battle against sleep. He didn't want to replay the nightmare he had two nights ago, especially in the diner with Natalie.

Then, an idea came to him.

He tore two pages of paper from his notebook and placed one in front of Natalie and one in front of himself. "Here's the thing," he said, fighting back a yawn and failing, "as much as I love sitting here at this diner and drinking coffee and eating Mystery Pie, I'm bored and I can barely stay awake. What we need is some entertainment."

Natalie sighed. "Keith, if you're that tired, please go home and go to sleep. This can't be healthy." He gave her a sharp look and she let out a defeated sigh, "Okay, what's your idea?"

His eyes sparkled. "A quest."

"Did I hear you right? Did you say a quest?"

"Yes you did, partner."

"Okay," she said slowly, "what does this quest entail?"

"That's for us to figure out," he said, nodding towards her paper. "You're going to make a list of things you've always wanted to do."

"You mean at night?"

He shrugged. "They don't all have to happen at night, whatever you think of."

"Keith—"

"Quit stalling, partner. You've got a half hour. Time's a tickin'." He bent down and started scribbling things on his paper.

A half hour later, he stole Natalie's paper from her. "Hey! I wasn't done!"

He read over Natalie's list. It was pathetic. "Okay, let's read some of these out loud. Skip school. Seriously, Natalie?" He took his pen and crossed it out. "You can come up with something better than that. Dye your hair?" He looked at her. "I like it the way it is." He read the rest of the list and then promptly crumpled it into a ball. "The rest of the list is worse."

"Hey!" she said, glancing at her crumpled piece of paper.

"You've got till tomorrow."

"For what?"

"To come up with a better list. With at least _five_ good ideas."

"What's on your list?" she asked, craning her head to try and view his paper; he covered it with his hand.

"You'll find out once you finish yours. You've got less than twenty-four hours."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _Any ideas what's on Keith's list? Or what ideas Natalie will come up with? If you have any ideas, post a review and let me know! I'd loved to know what you guys come up with (I'll try and add some of them in the story)! Hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review!_


	8. Hidden Away

**A/N: **_I'm so sorry this chapter took me so long to post. Real life got in the way and also, for some reason, this chapter was extremely hard to write. Nevertheless, I hope you still enjoy it!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight: Hidden Away<strong>

Natalie had a hard time focusing at school on Wednesday; all she could think about was coming up with ideas for her and Keith's quest. By English class she still hadn't come up with anything. So when Keith sat in the desk next to her a few minutes before class started, she tried to get ideas out of him. But one thing Keith wasn't, was stupid.

"I know what you're trying to do," he started. "I'm not giving you any ideas, so there's no point in asking." He winked at her and then opened his backpack to get his English homework out. She groaned loudly, hoping Keith heard. She knew he did, by the slight smirk that graced his face. She was starting to get really worried: what was going to happen if she arrived at the diner tonight without a list?

Instead of working on the vocabulary assignment they were suppose to work on during class, Natalie concentrated on coming up with some ideas. Halfway through class the only ideas she had come up with were really stupid or really embarrassing. But then Keith left to use the restroom and his backpack was just sitting there and before she gave it too much thought she was opening it and frantically looking for his list to give her some ideas. But the list wasn't there. There were notebooks and random empty Twinkie and beef stick wrappers, but no list. If she hadn't been sneaking into his backpack, she would've told him to clean it.

* * *

><p>At nine that night, after she had woken up from a nap, she forced herself to sit at her desk and come up with something, <em>anything<em>. When she was finished, forty-five minutes later, she was surprisingly content with what she had come up with; it what definitely better than her original list, that was for sure.

She arrived at the diner a little after ten to find Keith already there and working on his math homework. "Hey," said Keith as she sat down, "I just have one more problem."

"Okay. No problem." She leaned forward, elbows resting on the table to glance at his homework. They weren't in the same math class, but they did have the same teacher. "You're almost done with that?" she exclaimed, aghast. She had started the homework during lunch, but after spending twenty minutes on one problem, she had gotten mad and given up.

Keith chucked— actually _chuckled_—but didn't look up. "It's easy."

"For you," said Natalie, sharply. She watched him do the problem, but after a few seconds she got lost and leaned back against the booth. White waiting, her eyes wandered and landed on a piece of paper sticking out of his math textbook. She recognized it after a few seconds. It was their latest math test. She tugged at the test and at the sight of the score, her eyes got wide. On the corner of the paper was a big red 110%. "You got a hundred and ten on the math test?" she said, jealousy floating in her voice.

At this, Keith finally looked up; his eyes were red and had deep purple bags under them. "What?" he asked. She waved the test in front of him. "Oh that. Yeah." He smirked, looking quite proud of himself.

"You got the extra credit question correct?" she exclaimed, flipping through the test to confirm her question. There was not one red mark throughout the entire test.

"Yes, partner. That _is_ how one gets a hundred and ten."

"B-But—" she stuttered. "Mrs. Taylor said only _two people_ in all of her classes got it right. You were one of those two?"

"That would make sense, yes." He chuckled. _Again_. "Don't sound so surprised." After he said this he went back to his math problem.

"Ugh, that's so not fair," she groaned. Natalie waited until Keith finished his homework and when he closed his textbook a few minutes later she said, while he took a sip of his coffee, "I have a deal for you."

"Shoot," said Keith, looking at her expectantly and mildly curious. "I _may_ be interested."

"It involves Mystery Pie," she added in a singsong voice.

Keith leaned forward, eyes twinkling. "You know Mystery Pie is my weakness. I'm _very _interested."

Natalie took a deep breath. "If you help me with math—homework and studying for tests—I'll buy you as much Mystery Pie you want."

Keith leaned back against the booth. "Deal."

Natalie smiled; she could tell it reached her eyes. "Thank you, thank you, _thank you_," she gushed.

The corners of Keith's mouth curved into an almost-smile. "You know," he started, "you didn't have to bribe me with pie. I would've helped you anyway."

* * *

><p>They ordered pie and more coffee and Keith spent the next hour helping her with her math homework. As soon as they were done, Keith asked through a mouthful of Mystery Pie, "Did you do your homework?"<p>

"What?"

"Your _homework_."

Natalie bit her lip, but tried to make her voice sound more confident than she was. "Oh! That homework. Yes, I did. But I think I could make it better if I had another day…"

Keith took the last bite of pie (his second piece) and after he swallowed said, "Not gonna happen."

She figured. She reluctantly handed him her list, but once he had it said, "I want to read yours first."

"Sure," he said, shrugging his shoulders. He grabbed a crumpled piece of paper from his backpack and he laid it in front of her. She wondered if it had been in his backpack all day and she hadn't it seen it when she had peaked in it earlier.

She spent a few seconds trying to unwrinkle the paper before she read it out loud. "Number one: Go bowling." She looked up at him. "Seriously? You put _bowling _on your list and you thought my list was—"

"It's not normal bowling."

Natalie narrowed her eyes in confusion. "What is that suppose to mean? What other ways are there to bowl?"

He shrugged again. "You'll find out," was all he said, twinkle in his eyes.

Natalie rolled her eyes and proceeded to read the second item on his list. "Send a package to the jungle." She glared at him. "This is—"

"Awesome," he supplied. Then added, "It's all about imagination, partner."

"Keith, I just—" She stopped herself then, not knowing how to express what she was thinking, but decided to not say anything. She turned her attention back to his list. "Three: Go to an arcade and get enough tokens to buy the biggest stuffed animal." Natalie was silent, before saying, "That is not…bad…"

"Not bad?" he exclaimed. "Don't you want a dog stuffed animal that's bigger than you? It's every kid's dream to win one of those."

"Wasn't mine," said Natalie. Keith looked shocked. "I've never been to an arcade, so maybe that's why."

If possible, Keith look more shocked. "You're kidding!" His eyes got wide. "Never been to an arcade," he mumbled to himself, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Nope."

"I'm glad I put this on my list. You really need to get out more. You're too sheltered."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am _not_!"

He didn't keep up the banter and instead said, with a grin, "Whatever you say, partner."

The fourth item on his list was: win a food-eating contest. "Now that," started Natalie, "I want to see." At the fifth, and last item, Natalie gasped. "No way. Look at the fifth item on my list."

Keith did. "So I guess we both want to find out what's in that Mystery Pie, huh?" Natalie nodded and Keith leaned forward; he was close enough Natalie could smell him. He smelled like fresh soap and cologne and just _boy_. "I think we're going to need have some serious detective work in the future. We may want to start plotting our plan now." Natalie giggled and Keith grinned back before he sat back down. "Now, it's time for your list."

Unlike Natalie, Keith read the list out loud but didn't comment on each one like she had. Instead, he read them in order without stopping. "One: Take a road trip to Chicago." He nodded in what Natalie hoped was acceptance. "Two: Get a henna tattoo. Three: Sneak into a movie theater." Keith grinned at this one. "And four: Lie in the middle of an intersection." At this, Keith started laughing. Loudly. Natalie stared at him transfixed. The noise was bright and musical and absolutely amazing. It was the most beautiful sound. She wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because he had never laughed before—really _laughed_—and it was special because it was rare and unexpected and so so _so_ perfect. His laugh was contagious and suddenly she was laughing too (even though she was pretty sure he was laughing at her).

When Keith got control of himself he choked out, "Did you think just because I'm a guy" — He stopped to take in a deep choked breath— "I wouldn't know you stole that from _The Notebook_?"

Natalie blushed and knew she looked guilty. "How did you know?

"You've watched _The Notebook_? It's not even out on DVD yet, you actually went to the theatre and watched it?"

"Guilty," he said. "Guys will do anything to figure out how to get a girl and _The Notebook_ is popular. We never know what good tips it could give."

"Were there any good ones?"

He winked. "Maybe." He folded their lists and placed them carefully in the front pocket of his backpack. "Good list, partner. Good improvement. We have great ideas to start with. Now remember, we can always add stuff to the list if we want."

Natalie smiled. She was actually excited about the quest idea; she wanted to start now. "Are we going to do one tonight?"

Keith shook his head. "Nah, it's late already and we have homework. But tomorrow we will."

* * *

><p>The next day, Natalie didn't get to talk to Keith until gym. It was their first day of actual swimming (yesterday was spent going over the lesson plan and the basics). Natalie was glad they actually got to be in the water today.<p>

Keith was standing by himself next to the bleachers; he was only wearing swim trucks. It was hard for Natalie not to stare. It was strange seeing him in almost nothing, since he wore a sweater and the hood of it all the time.

"Hey," she said as she stood next to him.

He seemed strangely nervous and a bit jumpy, but Natalie wasn't sure if she was imagining it. "We're not meeting at the diner tonight," he said casually. His voice seemed calm enough.

"What? Why not?" asked Natalie, not bothering to hide the disappointment from her voice.

"Because," started Keith, "tonight we're going on our first quest. Remember?"

Natalie grinned in excitement. "Which one?"

"You'll find out. I need you to pick me up, though."

"Why?"

"We're going to need a car."

Natalie wondered why he wasn't the one driving if he was the one who knew what they were doing. He did have a truck. She didn't question him, though. "Okay. What time?"

"Eleven."

"Eleven?" repeated Natalie, surprised. Ten was their normal meet-up time.

"Yeah," he confirmed, sounding kind of aggravated with himself. "I need to sleep some before I go out."

Keith did look exhausted—beyond exhausted. He looked worse than he did last night. The bags under his eyes were an even darker purple, almost black, and he looked rather pale. She wondered when he had last gotten more than a few hours of sleep. "Good idea," said Natalie.

"Great," said Keith. "Prepare to have some fun."

* * *

><p>As soon as they started their first basic swim exercise (jumping off the diving board), Natalie knew the nervousness she had previously thought had been radiating from Keith had not been made up.<p>

He was fidgeting beside her a lot and seemed to be trying to calm himself down for some reason. "Are you okay?" she asked, giving him a worried look.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." He seemed distracted and not himself.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he said forcefully. "Stop asking me that."

"Okay, I'm sorry. Geez."

Natalie stayed next to Keith just in case, but ten minutes later she had to leave his side to go jump off the diving board. Natalie loved jumping off the diving board; she felt so free.

When it was finally Keith's turn, Natalie watched him closely. He walked slowly to the diving board. When he got to it, he halted. He stood there for a few moments, but before Natalie could wonder why, he placed his hands on a step of the ladder of the diving board and started walking up. He walked up slowly and from where Natalie was standing she swore she could see him shaking and not just his hands, his whole _body_. Natalie felt her heart pound quickly in her chest when Keith's hands gripped the last step before nearing the diving board, and he froze. This time, though, he didn't move after a few seconds.

People were beginning to realize something was wrong, and they started whispering. Coach Tammy finally spoke up, "Keith, are you all right?"

Keith didn't hear her; it was as if he was in his own world. Natalie wondered what was going on and walked over to where Coach Tammy was now standing by the diving board. From there, Natalie could see Keith was gripping the ladder so tightly his knuckles must've been white and he was taking in deep, ragged breaths.

"Keith," called Coach Tammy again, louder this time. He flinched, but didn't make a sound. "You don't have to jump, please come down." He didn't move. Coach Tammy turned to Natalie. "Can you please go get him for me? I'm afraid he's going to fall."

"Yeah, sure," said Natalie. She was afraid of that, too.

She climbed the ladder, the steps slightly wet, and when she got to the top she carefully maneuvered herself so she was half on the ladder, half hanging off. In this position, she was closer to Keith and could see his face. He was shaking and looked so scared. "Keith," she said quietly, "It's Natalie." She may have been imagining it, but it seemed like he at least semi-registered she was there. "Keith," she said again.

This time, he flinched and some recognition crossed his face. Then, he said, voice choppy, "I-I don't. I don't want-want to go in the water."

"You don't have to," she said gently, "but you need to get off the board, okay?"

He didn't speak only gave a curt nod. He didn't make any move to start making his way down, though. After a few second of waiting, Natalie couldn't handle it anymore and said, "I'm going to help you down, okay?" She grabbed one of his ankles and guided it to the next step. She did this one foot at a time. It was a slow process. At some steps, Keith was gripping the railing so tightly she had to pry his fingers off so he could move down. When they finally got to the bottom, almost ten minutes later, Keith collapsed onto his back, still shaking violently and taking in deep, ragged breaths.

Coach Tammy kneeled down next to Natalie. "Keith, can you tell me what's wrong?" He didn't answer.

"What's wrong with him?" a redheaded student asked, sounding scared.

"I think he's having a panic attack," said Coach Tammy. She turned to the girl who had just spoken. "Amy, can you please go get the nurse?" The girl nodded and quickly ran out of the gym. Coach Tammy glanced at the rest of the students standing around Keith, and said, "Everyone can leave class early; Keith doesn't need you all watching." She had to say this three times before everyone finally listened.

Natalie had never been around someone who was having a panic attack, so she wasn't sure what to do. Nothing she said to Keith broke him from the attack; he didn't really seem to understand what was going on. So she finally settled with saying, "It's okay. Just breathe."

Nurse Patricia arrived five minutes later, Amy following close behind. The nurse sat Keith up—he resisted at first, but it didn't last long. She talked quietly to him, too quietly, and Natalie couldn't hear what she was saying. She wished she could, though, because whatever she was saying did seem to calm Keith down.

"Is he getter better?" asked Natalie. "He's okay, right?"

"He'll be fine after the attack passes," said Nurse Patricia. "Just shaken up, probably. I'm just not sure how long that will take. I'm going to take him to my office and call his parents to pick him up." Patricia looked over to Coach Tammy. "If you could get his stuff and bring it to me, I'd appreciate it."

And in a blink of an eye everyone was gone, leaving Natalie alone with only her thoughts and heart pounding, which left her breathless.

* * *

><p>Natalie changed as fast as she could, but it was still twenty minutes before she was walking down the school halls to the nurse's office. When she got there, the door was closed so she peered through the small window into the room. She felt guilty eavesdropping like this, but she needed to make sure Keith was okay.<p>

Melissa was already in the office and was talking to both Coach Tammy and the nurse. Keith was sitting in a chair a few feet away from them looking better than he had earlier, but still very shaken. She stared at him, eye fixed, until he stood up and then Natalie took off before he could see her.

* * *

><p>That night, Natalie parked on the street near Keith's house exactly five minutes to eleven. She peered at the house through the shadows, but didn't see Keith. She waited. By eleven fifteen, she started getting worried and checked her phone to see if Keith had texted her that he was running late.<p>

Nothing.

She texted him, but after five minutes and no response she contemplated going home. But she couldn't drive away. At eleven-thirty, she quietly got out of her car and walked up the driveway. Having watched Bailey a lot, she knew the layout of Melissa's house and had a good guess on which room was Keith's, since he had mentioned his room was in the basement.

Walking to the side, she kneeled down and peered through the window. It was dark except for a small light on the nightstand. It was enough light for her to see Keith's form on the bed. He was sprawled on his back, only a sheet covering him and Bailey was lying on his chest, his body moving up and down with Keith's breaths. They were both dead asleep.

Natalie wondered if she should wake him. She knew Keith needed to sleep, but she also knew Keith. And she knew he would be pissed if she didn't wake him. So, she lifted her hand and lightly knocked on the window, tensing at the sound—the knock seemed to echo in the night.

The knocking woke Bailey immediately and he jumped off Keith and ran to the window, jumping on the windowsill. He opened his mouth and let out a low, menacing bark. "Oh, shit," whispered Natalie. Bailey was going to wake up the entire house.

Luckily, Keith woke up, bolting into a sitting position, after Bailey barked again. He looked beyond confused, but thankfully it only took him a few seconds to process what was going on and then he was out of bed and opening his window. "Partner?" he said while yawning.

"Hi," she said brightly. He wasn't wearing a hoodie again; he was dressed in only a white t-shirt and black sweatpants that hung low on his hips.

"What are you—Oh, shit. What time is it?" He turned around to glance at the clock on his nightstand. "Shit," he said as he turned back around to face her. "I'm sorry. I must've slept through my alarm."

"It's okay," said Natalie. "I'm sorry I woke you. Are you sure you want to hang out tonight? We can do the quest tomorrow and you can go back to sleep."

"No," he said quickly. "No, I've slept enough." He didn't look like he had.

"Great," said Natalie. "Uh, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," he said. "Let me change first."

"Okay, I'll wait." She stood up and less than five minutes later, Keith crawled through his window himself. He did it expertly.

"So, that's how you sneak out, huh?"

"Yup," he grinned, looking extremely proud of himself. He grabbed two backpacks by his window that Natalie hadn't noticed. As they turned to leave, Natalie glanced inside Keith's bedroom one last time to see that Bailey had made himself comfortable on the ledge. "It looks like you're Bailey's new favorite person. Does he sleep there all night?"

"He waits for me for some reason," he answered, shrugging as he picked up the bags. They looked heavy. "He sleeps in my bed with me when I'm there."

"That's adorable." Keith followed her to her car, but before he could walk to the passenger side she stopped him. "Hey, Keith?"

"Yeah?" He adjusted the bags and she felt bad because they did look really heavy.

She bit her lip. "Are you okay?"

Even though it was dark and he was wearing his hat she could tell he blushed. He turned his head away from her. "I'm fine."

"You sure? You really freaked me out today."

Surprisingly, he looked at her. "Sorry."

"So," started Natalie. "Are you scared of water or…"

He shrugged. "Guess so."

"Why? Can you not swim?" She knew he was embarrassed and probably really didn't want to talk about this, but the need to know was overpowering.

He was quiet for a long time and Natalie was surprised she he actually answered. "Can I swim? I guess…No. I…there was an accident once…and I almost drown. Haven't swum since."

"Oh. I'm sorry." For some reason she wanted to comfort him, but she didn't know how. Not without hugging him or something and she knew that would freak him out.

"It's all right," he said. "Uh, these bags are really heavy. Can we—"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." She watched him until he disappeared into her car.

* * *

><p>"What are in the bags?" asked Natalie. "Bowling balls?"<p>

"How'd you guess?" asked Keith.

"Lucky guess," she smiled. He leaned over and unzipped one of his backpacks. All she saw was his profile, which was mostly hidden by the hood of his sweater; she could see was his long eyelashes, sweeping against the top of his cheeks. "Why do you always wear the hood of your sweater? I mean, you even wear in it I gym unless it's swi—" She stopped herself, not wanting to mention swimming when he already seemed embarrassed enough.

Keith almost dropped one of the bowling balls on his foot at the unexpected question. "What?" he asked.

Natalie knew he had heard what she had asked but she asked again. He was silent for a while before he said, "I-I dunno. I just like it I guess." Natalie knew by the tone of his voice he knew exactly why he wore it. He sat there for a few seconds, not moving, but then suddenly he hesitantly lifted his hand and took the hood off. He turned to look at her. "Better?" he asked; he looked confident enough, with that crooked grin he was giving, but she sensed some hesitation behind his eyes.

"Better," she whispered. She stared at his hair for a few seconds, unable to speak. It was messy, some ends of it sticking up, and looked _so soft_. She had to physically prevent herself from lifting her hand and running her fingers through it. She knew it wasn't a good sign to be thinking these things about Keith when she had Raff, but she couldn't help. And right now, she couldn't bring herself to care. Finally, she found her voice and said, "It's nice to actually see your whole face." Keith didn't respond to this, and instead lifted one bowling ball out of one of the bags—there were at least eight total. "Uh, unless you asked some other people to join us, we only need two."

"This isn't normal bowling. C'mon, I've got directions. Just drive."

They ended up in front of someone's house. "What are we doing here?" she asked.

He handed her a blue and white ball, the colors swirling together, which had the name Patsy carved on it. He had one as well, a purple one with some white to it, which had the name Cosmo on it. "How did you get the name carved on these?"

"A man never discloses his secrets. "

"Fine," sighed Natalie. "So where are we exactly?"

"This is Walt's house."

"Walt?"

Keith rolled his eyes and said, "Uh, does chemistry ring any bells?"

Natalie's eyes got wide. "What are we doing in front of Walt's house? Geez, Keith!"

"Bowling," he replied curtly.

Natalie glanced between her and Keith's ball. "You mean we're going to just leave these balls on his front porch?"

"You caught on!" exclaimed Keith, patting her back. "Good job, partner."

"I _really_ don't think this is a good idea."

Keith glared at her and said, "Just think, years from now you'll have big huge family and you're gonna want to share stories and one of those stories will be you put a bowling ball on your chemistry teacher's front porch." He grinned and finished with, "And his name was Walt."

"I refuse."

Keith laughed and quickly jumped out her car, not even attempting to be quiet. She was certain he did this just to annoy her. She watched as he walked up the driveway and then placed the bowling ball on the porch railing. Natalie tensed, expecting it to fall and wake Mr. Miles and his whole family up, but it didn't.

Natalie bounced her leg impatiently, waiting for Keith to come back to the car, but he didn't. Instead, he leaned against the porch and stared at her. She knew what he was doing. He wasn't going to come back to the car until she participated.

"If we get caught," she hissed, a minute later, trying to keep her voice low but loud enough he could hear her as she walked up the driveway, bowling ball in hand. "I'm telling them you _kidnapped_ me and _forced_ me to do this."

He laughed.

Natalie glanced around the front yard, and finally decided on placing the ball in the middle of the grass. "There, happy?"

"Good first start. You'll get better with practice," he said, walking back to the car.

He was right, after four houses in total, Natalie got braver and actually started having fun (she had even enjoyed putting one Raff's front porch; although, that was after much pressure from Keith).

When they ran out of bowling balls, Natalie drove to a small drive thru that sold only donuts and coffee. They parked near the drive thru and were quiet as they ate, but then, suddenly, Natalie said, "Hey, Keith?"

"Hmmm?" He had just taken a huge bite of his donut; his lips were covered in powdered sugar.

"Can I ask you something? Why are you staying with your aunt? I know the first day you said you didn't have anyone else to stay with." What she really wanted to ask was, _Where are your parents? _He instantly froze at the question, and she knew she had overstepped. "I'm-I'm sorry. You don't need to answer that. I was just being stupid. I just want to…." _I_ just want to get to know you__, she wanted to add._ _I want to know _everything_.__

He surprised her when he answered her. "No," he said, voice soft and very unlike him. "It's okay. Um…" He turned his head away from her and stared out the window. She wanted to know what he was thinking.

After a few minutes she whispered, "Keith?"

He didn't turn around to face her. "My parents aren't here."

"What?" she gasped. "What do you mean?"

"I-I mean they…" It was like he didn't know how to form what he wanted to say. "They're gone. I mean they—they're traveling. Yeah, traveling. Abroad. So they couldn't take me with them so..."

"Oh," she said. "Were they gone when you got into your accident?"

He took another bite of his donut, and Natalie could tell he had a hard time swallowing it. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Were you planning on coming to live with Melissa anyway?"

Finally, he turned to face her, his eyes shining. "Yeah, I was going to drive out here. But then she—she freaked and you know the rest."

Natalie had so many questions now. More than before, that was for sure. She wanted to know everything about this incredible, amazing, _beautiful_ boy. But it seemed like he kept so many secrets hidden away from her, and would only give her a glimpse of himself if she _asked_. "How long are they going to be gone?" Strangely, Natalie felt sadness fill her at the thought of Keith leaving in a few months. She hadn't known him for very long, but she couldn't imagine nights—life—without him.

"No idea. Years, maybe." He rubbed his face with his hand and it was then Natalie realized how upset she had made him. Even if he didn't voice this, she could tell by his actions.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He took a sip of coffee and then said, voice choppy, uneven. "But can we maybe stop talking about this?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm sorry I brought it up." He grinned at her to let her know it was okay, before turning his attention back to his window. He was much quieter than he had been minutes before.

While they sat there finishing their food, Natalie thought of Keith and wondered how his parents could leave their kid like that.

* * *

><p>"His parents are traveling abroad?" exclaimed Brooke. They were getting ready for swim practice but were taking their time, as it didn't start for another half hour.<p>

"Yup. That's why he's living with Melissa." Natalie hadn't seen Keith during gym today, and wondered if he had been excused from the class for the next two weeks until they had finished their swim lesson. She had seen him in her other classes and he hadn't mentioned it, but she figured he probably didn't like talking about it.

Brooke looked thoughtful as she brushed her hair into a ponytail. "Where?"

"I didn't ask him. He asked to stop talking about it, so I didn't get to ask him too many questions."

"Oh he did?" Natalie nodded. "So," started Brooke hesitantly, "You believe him?"

"What do you mean?"

Brooke shrugged, placing her brush and her regular clothes into her locker. "I dunno. It seems really strange that his parents would travel abroad now. Why didn't they wait two more years, when Keith's in college? And plus, if they had the trip planned why didn't Keith move here sooner so he could start the school year at the same time as everyone else?"

"I don't know…" said murmured Natalie. "It does seem a little weird when you talk about it like that."

"Plus," added Brooke. "He seems _really _sad."

"Well, I would be sad if my parents left," defended Natalie.

"Yeah, I know," added Brooke quickly. "But I don't know…there's just something deep about his sadness. Who knows. I'm probably" —loud voices were heard, cutting Brooke off— "What was that?" she asked.

"No idea," said Natalie. "Probably stupid boys playing in the pool again. If you're ready, let's just go now and kick them out." They grabbed their stuff and headed out to the pool.

As soon as Natalie saw Raff and his gang of friends, laughing, she felt dread fill her and she looked to the pool to see what they were laughing at.

Keith.

He was frantically trying to swim to the ledge, but he was panicking so much he was only managing to choke on water, causing himself to cough and not make any progress. Remembering their conversation from yesterday, she knew he couldn't swim and ran to the edge of the pool and jumped in.

Natalie was a good swimmer, great even, but she had never had the experience of trying to rescue someone who was having a panic attack and almost drowning. As soon as she managed to grab onto one of Keith's arms, he fought—arms flaying and almost hitting her in the face. "Keith," she said, "it's okay."

He was freaking out so much he didn't pay attention to her and Natalie finally got a hold of his waist and began dragging him toward the ledge of the pool. It was hard work, he wouldn't stop squirming, and he was heavy with the added weight of his backpack he was still wearing. When they got to the edge of the pool and Keith gripped the side, he seemed to calm down a little. With Brooke's help, Natalie was able to lift him over the side of the pool.

He coughed, chest heaving, and Natalie just stayed by him; luckily, he didn't seem to be having a panic attack like he had a few days ago, which she was thankful for. After five minutes, he finally stopped coughing and, albeit a little shaky, stood up. Other than being soaking wet, he looked okay.

"Are you okay?" asked Brooke and Natalie at the same time.

"I'm great," he said sarcastically. "Just splendid. This has been a great day." His voice was dry and hoarse from all of the choking and coughing.

"What happened?" asked Natalie, standing up as well.

"You might want to ask your _boyfriend_," spat Keith, nodding toward Raff and his friends who were walking over to them. Now that Keith was out of the water and he wasn't in danger of dying, the concern Natalie had seen on Raff's friend's faces right before she had jumped in to save Keith was now replaced with smugness and contempt.

"So I guess the rumors are true, pansy boy can't swim," said Raff, mirth present in his voice.

"Fuck. You," said Keith, his voice laced with venom. He pushed passed Raff, Natalie was glad to see it caused Raff to stumble.

When Keith had disappeared into the boys' locker room Natalie turned to Raff, fuming, "What the hell did you do?" she hissed. "Push him in?"

"Maybe." Raff actually winked at her. "The whole thing was hilarious if you ask me."

"You. Are. An. Asshole," she growled. She couldn't even _look_ at Raff right now. She turned to Brooke. "Can you tell Coach Tammy I won't be here for practice?" She knew she shouldn't skip as they had their first swim meet in two days, but she had to make sure Keith was okay.

"Sure," she said. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to check on Keith and see if he needs a ride home. He's missed the bus by now."

"Okay, I'll tell her. Call me."

Natalie pushed passed Raff like Keith had, quickly making her way to the girls' locker room. She changed quickly, not bothering to dry off or fix her hair. When she emerged, less than five minutes later, she didn't see Keith walking down the halls and was pretty sure she hadn't missed him. And ten minutes later, Keith stormed out of the locker room; he didn't even see Natalie standing there.

"Keith!" she called, running to catch up to him. He didn't stop walking. "Keith, stop!" This time he slowed down enough for her to catch up to him. "Hi," she said when she fell into step next to him.

"Are you okay?"

He stopped walking. "I'm _fine_," he growled.

"Are you sure?"

"Can you just _stop_? I'm pretty fucking embarrassed right now and really don't need you down my throat about it, okay?"

"Okay." She bit her lip before she asked, "Why were you in the pool area any way?"

He glanced outside where it was snowing heavily; the world sparkling white. "I wanted to ask for a ride," he said softly. "I forgot to ask earlier and now that I'm excused from gym." He stopped suddenly, as if he realized what he had admitted, but seemed relieved she didn't question him and continued, "I wanted to see if I waited until after you finished practice you could take me to my aunt's. I wasn't prepared for this weather today. I didn't bring a coat." He wasn't wearing his regular clothes now; instead, he had changed into his gym clothes, just a simple white t-shirt and shorts. The only evidence he had been in the water was his hair was still wet.

"I thought you took the bus," said Natalie.

He shook his head. "Na, I've been walking." Natalie knew she must have looked confused because he added, "I—after the accident I haven't really drove much. Or at all."

"Oh," she said softly. "And the answer to your question is, yes. I'll take you home."

"Thanks," he said, grinning at her. But she couldn't be fooled. It was the fakest grin she had ever seen him give.

* * *

><p>Keith didn't talk to whole way home, which wasn't a surprise to Natalie. She figured he had to be beyond embarrassed. Plus, even in the short distance to her car, he had been only in shorts and t-shirt and shivered most of the way home.<p>

As soon as they arrived at his house, he unbuckled his seatbelt as if he was desperate to get away from her. "I think I'm just going to stay in tonight, if that's okay." The car was still freezing and his breath made a white cloud, like smoke.

Natalie felt disappointment fill her, but she didn't let him see. "That's fine. Get some sleep, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll try." He grabbed his wet backpack off the floor, and Natalie frowned; she didn't want to know how much stuff of his had been ruined from the water.

Suddenly, an idea came to Natalie. "Hey, if you want I could start picking you up on mornings I don't have swim practice, and the same goes with after school."

"Really?" he asked, sounding hopeful. She nodded. "That would be great, thanks." He opened his door finally and Natalie snow blew inside. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely. See ya," she said. As she watched him walk into his house, a thought struck her. She had a number six to add to her quest list.

_Teach Keith how to swim._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I feel really bad because of what I made Keith go through in this chapter, but it was important for the plot of the story—I promise!_ _Thanks to thegoodgirldoll and aleja1 for their ideas on what they thought would be on Natalie's and Keith's quest list, (I'll try to incorporate some of them into the story)!_


	9. Falling Apart

**A/N: **_I'm sorry for the long wait, guys. Real life got in the way. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed; seriously, they helped me get my act together and finish this chapter. I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine: Falling Apart<strong>

Keith halted at the front doors of his school, eyes wide as he stared at the blizzard outside; it had been snowing lightly all day, but he had no idea there was going to be two inches of snow already on the ground when school let out. After a few moments, he pushed through the doors; delaying wasn't going to help him. The blowing snow felt like ice against his cheeks and it was so windy it was hard to walk straight; he only walked a few steps before he hastily made his way back inside the school. There was no way he could walk to his aunt's in this weather; he was only wearing converse, jeans, and a hoodie. He would freeze.

He knew what he had to do; he needed to find Natalie. He had meant to ask her earlier in the day for a ride once it had started snowing, but never got the chance. Luckily, he knew she was still in the school as she had swim practice. And from what Natalie told him, Coach Tammy _never_ cancelled. Keith wasn't exactly excited to go back to the gym (were the pool was) but he didn't have a choice. He took his time walking to the gym. He knew practice didn't start for another few minutes and Natalie was probably still getting ready. As soon as he walked into the gym, still early, he knew he should've just waited outside until practice started.

Raff was there and three other friends Keith had never met surrounded him. Not being able to prevent himself, Keith froze at the sight of them. This was _not_ good. He would've walked out, but they had already spotted him and he didn't want to look like he was scared of them or something. He had no choice but to mind his own business and hope they didn't come over.

He knew he was stupid for even having the s_lightest_ hope they would ignore him, because just as he sat on the benches to wait for Natalie they walked over. All four surrounded him, so even if he wanted to leave now, he had no way to get past them.

"Aww, it's Momma's Boy. What're you doing here?" cooed Raff.

Keith flinched at the nickname, but kept a straight face. "What's it to you?"

Raff chuckled. "What's it to me? A lot actually, considering you're probably here to talk to _my girlfriend_."

"She's not going to be your girlfriend for much longer if you keep being an asshole. Ever thought of that?"

"What did you just say?" growled Raff. He narrowed his eyes at Keith and looked pissed. Raff took a step forward, like he was about to hit Keith, but one of his friends, a tall blonde-haired guy, grabbed Raff's shoulder and pulled him back so he could whisper in his ear. When his friend was done talking, Raff looked confident and less angry. "It's never going to happen, dude," started Raff. "She's _never_ going to leave me." He gave Keith a smug look before saying, "But you know what I _have_ thought of?"

"What?" hissed Keith, noticing the blonde-haired guy whispering something to his other friends.

"I want to test a theory."

Keith didn't like the tone in Raff's voice. "What theory?" He hoped Raff and his friends didn't detect the worry hidden in his voice.

Raff didn't need to answer because all four guys suddenly grabbed Keith's arms, pulling him off of the bench. "We're going to see if the rumors are true," said Raff as all four of them dragged Keith towards the pool.

Keith tried to fight them, but there were too many guys holding him and he was overpowered. "Get the fuck off of me," growled Keith. He tried to pull away, but with two sets of hands gripping each arm, he could barley budge.

When they got to the edge of the pool, Raff tightened his grip and said to a heavily breathing Keith, "We're going to see if you really can't swim."

Keith tried to prepare himself before he hit the water; tried to tell himself this was _just _a pool, that he _could_ swim, but nothing helped. By the time his body slammed into the cold water, he was in a different place.

He was back in the accident.

And he was _drowning_.

He couldn't tell which way was up; he kept frantically splashing the water, trying to keep himself above the surface. And all knew was he was choking and he felt like he was going to die.

But then. Then someone grabbed him around the waist and he fought against them, too frantic to understand what was going on. And then, suddenly, he gripped something solid and safe and he r_emembered_ where he was and immediately started to calm down. Someone pulled him out of the pool and he was glad; he didn't think he would've been able to lift himself up he was shaking so badly. As he coughed, chest heaving, a thought occurred to him:

Natalie had saved him.

* * *

><p>An hour later, after Keith had taken a shower to warm up, he sat at the kitchen table, attempting his math homework. But for once, he couldn't focus; the numbers were blurring together and didn't make sense. He knew he could do the problems; he had just taken a quiz on it a few days ago and aced it, but for some reason his mind couldn't make sense of the numbers.<p>

He knew why. His mind wasn't focusing on math because it was focusing on what happened at school a few hours ago. He couldn't believe he let that happen. It had just been a pool; he could swim. But instead he freaked out and embarrassed himself. He knew he should stop thinking about it; it was in the past, but he couldn't. He was angry. When was the accident going to stop affecting everything in his life? Was it ever going to stop? Right now, he didn't think so. He was starting to think this was how the rest of his life was going to be, having random flashbacks to the accident and being so tired he felt like he was going to pass out. He didn't want this to be his life. He wasn't happy and didn't know if he ever would be. And he wanted to be.

He was able to focus on his homework enough to get a few problems done; although, he wasn't confident they were correct. He had just turned the page of his math textbook when the garage door opened. He looked up expecting to see his aunt, but instead it was Jake who was entering.

"What are you doing here?" Keith blurted. That probably wasn't the right thing to say, but he was on edge today.

Jake didn't respond right away; instead, he took his coat off threw it in the direction of the leather chair in the living room. He missed and it fell on the floor and didn't bother to pick it up. He seemed too interested in Keith. "I happen to have a key," he finally answered. "A key I've had much longer than you." He smirked.

"Whatever," said Keith, turning his attention back to his homework. He expected Jake to go to the living room and watch television like he normally did when he was here, but he didn't. Instead, he walked behind Keith and slapped his hand on his back—so hard Keith involuntarily squeezed his eyes shut against the sharp, stinging pain.

"Ah, math homework," started Jake, leaning over Keith to peer at his paper. "Those were the days." He glanced at Keith's homework, which was wrinkled and ripped in a few places from the frequent times he had erased his work. "Seems like you're having a bit of trouble, eh?"

Keith couldn't help but jump when Jake suddenly slammed into the table, falling lazily in the chair next to him. Keith felt extremely uncomfortable. "Where's my aunt?" He glanced at the clock on the stove; she was an hour late. He figured it was taking her longer to drive home because of the snow.

"She should be here in a few minutes." Keith caught Jake's eyes before he turned his attention back to his math homework. He was a few seconds into his next problem when Jake spoke up again. "So, Keith, I have a question."

"What?" snapped Keith, not bothering to look up from his homework.

Jake cleared his throat. "How can you live with yourself? When you're the reason you don't have parents. Do you ever wonder what would've happened if you hadn't been the one driving? What does it _feel _like?"

Against his will, tears immediately blurred Keith's vision, but he wouldn't let himself cry. Especially in front of Jake. Keith didn't want to answer the question, but he knew he had to. Had to because if he didn't Jake would _win_. "It feels like nothing," he replied. This was a lie. It reality, he felt too many things. He felt sadness, anger, guilt, and pain. Too much _pain_. He _wished_ he could feel nothing.

"Nothing. Really? That's interesting…" replied Jake. "I'll say, Keith. I've been wondering this for a while and I'm kind of disappointed."

"That's what you got so get over it," said Keith. He silently cursed as he realized he had done part of his math problem wrong. He was getting too upset with Jake sitting here; it was almost impossible to make any progress on his homework. He hastily started erasing his work; he was mad at Jake and Raff and at himself and he couldn't concentrate and felt like he was going to cry.

"You know, Keith, this anger you keep displaying is not going to get you anywhere. Have realized in a little less than two years you will be on your own. Don't expect Melissa to let you stay here after you graduate high school."

At these words, Keith finally looked up at Jake. "My aunt isn't going to kick me out," he replied, voice thick with unshed tears.

Jake laughed. "You really think so? I wish I was as naïve as you. Why would Melissa let you stay here when she blames you for her sister's death?" Keith couldn't help as confusion crossed his features. Jake added, "You didn't know, did you? She blames you for the accident. Who wouldn't, really…"

Keith wanted to dismiss everything Jake was saying, but some of it just _made sense_. He couldn't believe he had _never_ thought of it. Of course his aunt blamed him. He did kill his parents—her sister. Keith started breathing deeply: what was he going to do? In two years, he was going to have _nothing_; he was going to have _no one_. He sat there, speechless. His breathing the only sound drifting through the kitchen.

"It seems like you're upset," spoke up Jake. "I'm sorry I upset you. I'm trying to help you out. Living is expensive. If you don't want to live on the streets, you should probably find a job. When I was a sixteen, I had already been working for two years. "

Just then, Melissa walked through the kitchen door and Keith turned away from Jake. Frantically, he grabbed his homework and math textbook and without saying anything to his aunt, bolted down the stairs.

The last thing he heard was his aunt calling, "Keith? What's wrong with him? He looked upset. What were you guys talking about?"

When he got to his room, he leaned up against his bed and tried to catch his breath. He was so stupid; he was upset over nothing. Jake was just making shit up. His aunt wouldn't kick him out. But _she would, she will,_ said a tiny voice in his head.

He was so lost in thought he didn't realize someone had been knocking on his door until his aunt walked into his room. "Keith?" she said once she spotted him. "Is everything all right?"

At her voice, he glanced up and stared into her eyes. He wasn't sure what he was looking for. It took him a while to figure out what. Blame. He was looking for blame in her eyes. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw some radiating in them. "Yeah?" he asked, voice cracking. He was still upset, but the few minutes he had by himself he was able to calm down.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. He stood up straighter. He needed to grow up. He was the one that had been driving the truck; he was the one who killed his parents; he needed to suffer the consequences. "I just. I was thinking: I need a job."

"What?" asked Melissa, shock gracing her face. "I thought we talked about this, if you need money you just need to ask me."

"That's not the—"

Melissa cut him off, understanding crossing her features. "This is what you and Jake were talking about, weren't you?"

"No," lied Keith. He should've told the truth or at least asked her if what Jake told him was true, but he didn't. Why? Because he was a coward. He was so scared what Jake said_ was_ true he'd rather assume it was instead of gaining the courage and asking. "I thought about it today during school. Jake didn't mention anything. We were just talking about sports. I wasn't upset."

Melissa suddenly looked exhausted and sat down on Keith's computer chair. She was distracted, though, when her eyes caught the contents in the trashcan. Keith groaned, expecting what was going to come next. "Sweetie, why is your iPod in the trash, don't you—"

"It's suppose to be there," he said quickly. Before he could stop her, she had already pulled the iPod out of the trash.

"How did this get wet?" she asked, drying it with her shirt. He watched her as she tried to turn the iPod on, but after a few seconds a sad look crossed her face and she looked up at Keith. "How did this get wet?" she replied, sounding more serious than Keith had ever heard her. "Keith, tell me..."

The tone of her voice shocked him so much he actually found himself telling the truth. "Some guys…they threw my backpack in the pool today." Okay, he left the part out about being thrown in the pool, too, but he didn't think that was important.

Sadness graced Melissa's face. Keith was surprised someone could go through so many emotions in such a short amount of time. "Is this why you wanted a job?"

"Uh, kind of?" He didn't know how to answer that.

Melissa threw the iPod back in the trashcan before standing up. "We'll get you another iPod," she said, making her way out of Keith's room. Before she exited she turned to Keith and said, "But I don't care how much you beg me, you're not getting a job. You've been through too much change in the last month, you need to learn to have fun for a while, okay?"

Keith thought about fighting back because he needed a job, but he was too tired and he let her leave without an argument.

* * *

><p>That night, Keith woke to screaming. It took him a few seconds to realize the screaming was coming from him. At this revelation, his scream caught in his throat and he was left breathing frantically.<p>

The lights in his room suddenly turned on and his aunt darted in. "Keith?" she said, voice small and scared. "Are you okay? W-What happened? Are you hurt?" She practically jumped on his bed and started grabbing his arms and looking him over like she thought he was seriously injured.

He had to take a few deep breaths before saying, "I'm okay," but he knew he didn't sound very convincing. "I'm _okay_. It was just a nightmare." At this, she stopped checking him over.

Melissa took his shaking hand. Part of him wanted to pull away and part of him didn't. He let her hold on, though, because he knew she would be hurt if he pulled away. Now that she didn't think he was dying she sounded much calmer. "That sounded like some nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he said, voice sounding harsher than he intended. "I'm okay. You can go back to sleep now. I'm sorry for waking you up."

"You scared the shit out of me," murmured Melissa, letting out a huge breath like she had been holding it the whole time. "I-I just heard you screaming. I thought you were…" She cut herself off. "Do you need anything? Let me go get you some—"

At that moment, Jake entered the room. "What's going on?" he asked, yawning.

Melissa let go of Keith's hand and stood up. "Keith had a nightmare."

"Aren't those things only little kids have?"

If Keith wasn't still trying to calm himself down, he would've blown up, but right now he was exhausted. Defeated. "Jake, please, _stop it_. If you're going to say things like that then _go home_. Excuse me," she said, pushing past Jake, "I'm going to go get Keith some water."

Once Melissa left the room, Jake walked to Keith's bed. He leaned down close to Keith, who tried to move away, but Jake grabbed Keith's arm tightly and pulled him near to him, "Pathetic," he whispered in Keith's ear before pulling away.

Keith didn't say anything. He _was_ pathetic. He couldn't even stay awake like he had tried. But he had been—was—so tired. Why was it so hard? Melissa returned a minute later, carrying a glass of ice water and a pill. "Take this."

Keith was still kind of out so he didn't ask what the pill was until after he swallowed it. "A sleeping pill. It should help you sleep."

Fear filled Keith. "I don't want to go back to sleep," he said, sounding more scared than he wished he did. But he couldn't help it. What if he had another nightmare but couldn't wake up because of the pill? What if he was stuck in a permanent eight-hour nightmare?

Melissa, sensing a problem, turned back to Jack and said, "Go back to bed, Jake. I've got this." Jake opened his mouth to say something, but Melissa glared and he left without complaint.

"Why didn't you tell me that was a sleeping pill? I didn't want it."

"Sweetie," said Melissa, sounding tired. She rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hand. "I'm sorry, but you've got to get some sleep. Is this why you always look so tired? Are these nightmares a nightly occurrence?"

"No, they're not," snapped Keith. "Can you please leave now?"

"Okay." Melissa stood up, taking the empty glass of water from Keith's hand. "Goodnight, sweetie."

Keith tried to stay awake, but two hours later he could barley keep his eyes open; they kept closing against his will, causing him to drop his book and lose his place. Finally, he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer and the last thing he thought before he fell asleep was he needed to find something to help him stay awake.

* * *

><p>The next day—Saturday—the snow had stopped but the roads were still icy and snow-packed. Keith didn't care; he was determined to find something to help him stay awake. He got ready quickly. He was lucky enough to find a pair of boots in one of his unpacked boxes.<p>

He knew he should go out the front door and tell his aunt where he was going, but he didn't want to confront her, not after what happened last night. So he escaped through his window, leaving a whining Bailey behind. It wasn't as cold as Keith had expected, but it was very icy. By the time he got to the Walgreens a mile away, he had almost fallen on his butt four times.

Keith stopped at the drink section first; his initial idea had been to stock up on some energy drinks, but after looking he wasn't sure they would help him out anymore than coffee. The medicine isle was next. He had only been looking for a minute when he saw it: caffeine pills.

He grabbed two bottles without pausing to think. On his way to the cash register he grabbed a pop and less than five minutes later he was outside, opening and bottle and swallowing two pills.

* * *

><p>The pills <em>helped<em>. Keith was surprised, since he figured they would have the same affect as coffee. He knew it wasn't a smart idea; he knew this by the way they caused him to shake and increased his thirst. He hoped his body just had to get use to them. Even though the pills were a bad idea, they helped him stay awake and he would do just about anything to prevent having another nightmare that woke the entire house.

Keith planned on going to The Pancake Hut at ten, but two hours before he was going to leave he received a text from Natalie.

_Change of plans. Come to my house as soon as you can._

He left twenty minutes later.

The roads were still snow-packed and icy, like they had been earlier, so it took Keith longer than usual to arrive at Natalie's. When he finally arrived, he rang the doorbell, surprised when a young girl around ten answered the door.

"Hi!" she greeted cheerfully, before lowering her eyes suspiciously. She was a small girl with long light brown hair tied in ponytails.

"Who're you?"

"Keith." He had no idea Natalie had a sister. He didn't think she had told him. But he couldn't be sure; there were some nights where he was so tired he didn't remember much the next day. "And who're you?"

"I'm Cynthia. Are you here to see my brother?"

And she had a brother, too, apparently. "Nope. I'm here to see Natalie."

Cynthia was quiet for a moments before, "Are you her other boyfriend? I thought girls should only have one."

"Cynthia!" The young girl jumped at her name and a few seconds later, Natalie appeared.

"Cynthia, go away."

"But I wasn't done talking!" she protested.

"Go. Away," pressed Natalie, who looked at Keith and rolled her eyes. He grinned at her.

"Fine!" cried Cynthia. "You _never_ let me talk to any of your friends." She stomped away, lip in a serious pout.

"Hey," said Natalie once Cynthia was gone. She leaned against the door and stared at him.

"Hey," he replied back. "So, what do you have planned?"

Natalie's eyes gleamed. "C'mon, follow me."

He followed her to the basement. The basement was large, with a huge flat-screen T.V. and separate bar. On the bar was a bunch of bowls and plates filled with candy. There were M&Ms, sprinkles, whipped cream, hot fudge, caramel, marshmallows, peanut butter, gummy bears, maraschino cherries, and brownies.

Natalie made him sit in a bar stood before saying, "Tonight we're going to make the best brownie ice cream sundae…ever. Think you can handle it? Warning: it will be messy, sticky, and probably result in a serious sugar high."

Keith laughed. "I think I'm up to the challenge."

Natalie grinned and nodded toward his hoodie. "You're going to want to take that off, unless you want ice cream on it." She turned around to a small freezer that was behind her and grabbed two containers of ice cream. Vanilla and chocolate. Keith didn't make a move to take off his hoodie and when Natalie turned back around to place the ice cream on the counter she said, "Well, hurry up."

"You know," said Keith, as he finally took off his hoodie, "I'm sensing a trend here."

"And what's that?" asked Natalie. She placed three brownies (which looked delicious) on the bottom of a mixing bowl before she attempted to try and scoop ice cream into the bowl but wasn't having much luck.

"You have a serious obsession with my hoodie." He threw his hoodie on the couch that was in front of the T.V. "You always want me to take it off."

She wasn't looking at him as her attention was focused on the ice cream, but he could see a blush growing on her cheeks. "I do _not_ always want you to take it off; I wanted you to stop wearing the stupid hood is all. It's really hard to talk to you sometimes when your hood covers half your face. This is the first time I've asked you to take it off and that was because I didn't want you to get it dirty. Put it back on for all I care! That does not make obsessed with your hoodie!"

"Uh huh. Right." He remembered why he had started wearing the hoodie; it made him feel safe. And now he didn't like to have it off. But around Natalie? He didn't care.

Natalie squealed in aggravation and looked at him before jamming the ice cream scoop in his hand. She handed it to him the wrong way and he ended up grabbing the sticky end of the spoon. "Thanks, partner, real mature."

"You're the guy, you scoop out the ice cream!"

He jumped off the bar stool and walked to the other side of the mini bar and started to scoop out ice cream. "How much?" he asked after plopping the first scoop of chocolate in the bowl.

"Uh, I don't know. Three scoops of each flavor, I guess." He easily scooped two more spoonfuls of chocolate and then grabbed the vanilla. He was almost done when he heard Natalie gasp. "What?" he asked, looking up, scared she had hurt herself.

She wasn't hurt; instead, he found her staring at his arm. He glanced down to his arm to see the beginnings of a bruise. "Where did you get that?" she asked.

"No idea," lied Keith. He knew exactly where that bruise was from. It was from when Jake had grabbed his arm last night.

Natalie was staring at his face now and he had to look away. "That looks really painful…"

"It's fine," he said. Then added quickly, because he wanted to be done with this conversation, "Ice cream's ready. What's next?"

"Now comes the fun part." She placed the bowl on the counter by all of the ingredients and then walked around the counter and sat down on a barstool. Keith sat in the one next to her. "We add the yummy stuff." She smiled at him; Keith felt his stomach do a somersault. She grabbed a huge handful of gummy bears and plopped them into the bowl.

Adding the ingredients didn't take long as they ended up dumping everything they had into the bowl. It took longer to mix everything up there was so much ice cream. Once it was mixed well enough, Natalie handed him a spoon and then said, "Dig in."

They ate in silence for a while—too busy eating—before Natalie spoke up. "I wanted to apologize for what Raff and his friends did yesterday. I'm really sorry."

Keith's spoon froze halfway to his mouth. He caught off guard by her apology. "You shouldn't be apologizing for him," he finally said. "But, thanks."

Natalie shrugged. "Yeah, well, I figure someone should and he's definitely not going to be the one." Natalie swallowed a spoonful of ice cream. "You probably wonder why I'm still with him, don't you?" she murmured.

"Yes, the thought has crossed my mind a few times."

Natalie sighed. "Keith, here's the thing: true love doesn't exist." She stood straighter in her chair at this, as if preparing herself for something.

"It doesn't?" he asked. He was surprised she said this. If she believed this then why did she have a boyfriend?

"No, it's just something that's in fairytales and books. In real life, it _doesn't _exist. I realized I would either live life alone or settle and find a guy that gives me what I need. And Raff? He's all I need, really. I've learned it's selfish to expect too much from people."

"What about being happy?" asked Keith. He could tell this comment caught her off guard, because she tensed in her chair. "Does Raff make you happy?"

It took her a few seconds to respond. "I don't know, Keith. What is happy?"

Keith sighed, stirring his spoon in the ice cream. "Sorry, partner, but you're definitely asking the wrong person."

She frowned at this. "You're not happy?"

"Do I seem happy to you?" he asked. He tried to smile at her, but he could tell it looked forced; it _felt_ forced.

It looked like she wanted to reply to this, but she must've changed her mind. "You know what's stupid," she started, copying him and mixing her spoon in the ice cream. "I use to believe in true love. I feel so stupid." She looked Keith right in the eyes before she asked, "Do you believe in true love?"

Keith wanted desperately to tell her true love was real and he knew his because his parents had been in love and it had been _real_ and _true_. He wanted to tell her she was an amazing and beautiful girl and she would find someone to give her everything she wanted and needed if she could just believe she was worth it. But he couldn't tell her all that because he was worried she would ask him questions and he was not ready to answer them. She deserved some kind of response, though. "Yeah, I think it's out there, but again you're asking the wrong person. I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to answer that one for you."

"Why?" asked Natalie.

Keith focused his attention on the ice cream that now looked more like soup. "Because I've learned the problem with love is it can cause pain. With love can come pain. Love is risky and it's a risk I'm not willing to take anymore—or at least right now."

"Oh, I never thought of that." She bit her lip then said, "Have you always felt that or…"

"No," said Keith, shaking his head. "No, this is a new development."

Natalie didn't respond to this; instead, she just stared at him and Keith couldn't help but stare back. Keith was lost in her eyes and suddenly he was leaning forward, placing his right hand against her cheek, and kissing her.

Her lips tasted of sugar and ice cream. It was amazing—the softness of her lips, the way her breath sped up when she _kissed him back_.

It wasn't until he felt her hand against his wrist did he pull away.

_ What had he done?_ She had a boyfriend. Plus, they had just been talking about how he wasn't interested in love and then he went and kissed her?

"Uh…" he choked out. "I should probably leave…" Natalie didn't say anything; she looked slightly dazed, fingers touching her lips. Keith stood up so fast the bar stool he had been sitting on crashed to the floor.

"No," Natalie finally said, her voice sounding breathless. "No, Keith, you don't have to leave. I—"

"I-I really do," he said, picking up the bar stool before grabbing his hoodie off the couch. He put it on before he turned to her and said, "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

And he bolted. As he walked to his aunt's, Keith couldn't stop thinking of Natalie and how all he wanted to do was kiss her again.

* * *

><p>The kiss was never mentioned, to Keith's relief. He and Natalie continued to hang out at the diner as if everything was normal. The next two weeks before Thanksgiving break were busy with homework and exams. Keith continued to take the caffeine pills. The only bad thing about them was they had side effects. Sometimes he would get splitting headaches or feel dizzy and shaky. He figured it was probably a sign he should stop taking them, or at least not so many of them, but he couldn't stop.<p>

It was Thanksgiving morning when Melissa found Keith lying on the couch downstairs trying to watch a movie. He was having a hard time staying awake; he had a splitting headache, which he couldn't tell if it was from lack of sleep, the pills, or both. "Happy Thanksgiving," said Melissa. Keith felt the couch dip as she sat next to him.

He sat up, even though it hurt his head to do so. "You too," he said. He turned to look at her and noticed she was holding a nice black jacket.

She noticed him looking at it and said, "I'm sorry we didn't discuss this before, but Jake's parents invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner. I hope that's okay. I didn't know if you had a jacket so I bought you one."

"I have to dress up?" he asked.

"Please," said Melissa. "You can wear jeans and a t-shirt if you want, but at least wear the jacket."

"Fine," he said, standing up. He grabbed the jacket from her. "When do we have to leave?"

"Four."

"Okay," he said.

He went to turn around and go into his room, but Melissa stopped him. "Keith?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? I just—I know this has got to be a hard day for you. Not that all days aren't hard, but I know this was one of your mom's favorite holidays." Keith stayed silent; he couldn't trust himself to talk. "Let me know if you need anything, all right?"

"Yeah, I will," was all he said before he walked into his room and closed the door.

* * *

><p>The first thing Keith realized after meeting Jake's parents was they were <em>nice<em>. Almost too nice. Jake's mom, Hannah, kept asking him questions and making sure he had enough to drink. Keith wondered if she knew about the accident. He figured she did.

Dinner followed almost immediately after Keith and Melissa arrived. Keith expected a lot of things about the dinner, but one thing he hadn't was going around the table telling everyone what they were thankful for. He thought that only happened in books and movies.

When it was Keith's turn, he halted. He had no idea what to say. What was he thankful for? Nothing really. How could he be thankful for anything right now when all he could think about was how this was _not how_ Thanksgiving was supposed to be. Thanksgiving was supposed to be potato soup, Christmas trees, and his mom signing Christmas music at the top of her lungs.

Not this. Not turkey, dressing in nice clothes, and listening to what everyone was thankful for.

"C'mon, Keith," started Jake, "you've got to be thankful for something. Being alive maybe?"

"_Jacob_," hissed Hannah, she lowered her voice so Keith couldn't hear the rest of what she said. When Hannah was done, she turned to Keith and said, "So, sweetie, think of anything?"

_Natalie, _he thought. _I'm thankful for Natalie_. He didn't say that of course; instead, he said, "Uh, I guess my aunt." It wasn't a lie; he was thankful for her. He was thankful she took him in and for being so nice and understanding when he was a jerk; she did it all for him even though he didn't deserve any of it.

It was the right and wrong thing to say. It was right because it seemed to make Melissa extremely happy, but it was wrong because she was so happy she leaned over and hugged him. She pulled away after she felt him tense. "Thank you, Keith," she said, pulling away.

"Uh, sure," he replied.

Dinner went by slowly. Hannah and Jake's dad, Rob, kept asking him questions. Questions he didn't know how to answer. He didn't know how to answer what he was interested in anymore; he had no interests anymore. He was glad when, an hour later, they all made their way into the living room with pie and coffee. There, attention was taken off Keith as they got interested in other topics. Keith stayed quiet, feeling strangely uncomfortable for some reason. It wasn't until later that night when he and his aunt were about to leave did he realize why he had felt so uncomfortable.

It was because everything felt _wrong_. He didn't feel like he belonged; he wasn't sure why, maybe it was because Jake was there and as much as he didn't want to admit it, Jake made him uncomfortable. This wasn't his family and no matter how hard his aunt tried to make him fit in, he didn't think he ever would. Thanksgiving dinner had only cemented one of his many fears: he was never going to be part of a family again.

* * *

><p>Keith fell asleep, clothes still on, as soon as they got home. He had barely been able to keep his eyes open during the drive home. As much as he didn't want to sleep in fear he'd have a nightmare, he was beyond his limit of staying awake. Plus, he and Natalie had agreed to not meet up tonight and there was no way he'd be able to stay awake without her company.<p>

He was jolted out of his sleep two hours later. He rolled onto his back and saw the form of his aunt. "Was I screaming? Did I wake you up?" he immediately asked, voice thick with sleep. He couldn't think of any other reason his aunt was in his room at midnight.

"No, you didn't wake me," she said, looking rather worried at his statement. She then added, "I'm sorry for waking you, sweetie, but I have something for you. Would you mind coming upstairs?"

"Oh, uh, sure," he said. Melissa waited for him as he slowly got out of bed. It took him a few moments as he was still trying to wake himself up. He followed his aunt upstairs and once he reached the landing he saw the kitchen table was set with bowls and as he made his way farther into the kitchen he saw there was a bare Christmas tree set up where there use to be a leather chair. "What's going on?" he asked turning to his aunt who was looking at him with a strange worried expression; it looked like she was afraid he wasn't going to like it.

"If there was one thing I remember about your mother, Keith, was her crazy holiday traditions. She loved Thanksgiving. She used to call every day after and explain how you guys stayed up till two in the morning eating potato soup and hanging up the Christmas tree and how it _always_ had to happen at midnight." She took a breath, staring at Keith who stayed silent. "I know you're going through a hard time and I don't feel like this place is home yet, and I thought the least I could do was try and bring some home to you."

Keith swallowed thickly. "This-This is great, Aunt Melissa. Thank you," he said sincerely and he meant it. This was exactly what he needed.

She smiled, eyes shinning with unshed tears. "Well, wanna eat and then we'll decorate the tree?"

Keith grinned.

* * *

><p>For the next two hours, Keith and his aunt ate (the soup had tasted <em>exactly <em>like his mom's) and decorated the tree. They had just put an angel on the top of the tree when the doorbell rang. Melissa glanced at Keith suspiciously but he only shrugged as he walked over to the door. He looked through the peek hole of the door and when he saw Natalie on the other side he quickly opened it.

"Partner?" he asked. "What are you doing here? It's two in the morning." It was only after he said this did he realize she was crying.

"I'm-I'm sorry," she said between her tears. "I'm sorry, but I _really _needed you. To-To talk to you, I mean. I tried to wait until tomorrow. But I couldn't. You weren't answering your phone and after a few hours I came here…I saw the light on and I just-I hope I didn't wake anyone."

Melissa appeared. "You didn't wake anyone, sweetie," she said. Melissa turned to Keith and said, "I'm going to go to bed and leave you guys alone." Keith nodded and turned back to Natalie.

"Hey," said Keith, once his aunt left. Natalie was still crying, so without thinking about it, he hugged her. He was not one for close contact, but she looked so sad and he didn't know what else to do. He couldn't handle crying girls. The hugged seemed to be what she needed though, because she wrapped her arms around him, grabbed a fistful of his jack, and held on tight. "What's wrong?" he asked.

This was apparently the wrong thing to say because she cried harder, tears streaming down her face and soaking into his jacket. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just…I needed to get out."

"It's okay." He pulled away and she looked right into his eyes as she tried to whip the tears away. "How about I go change, and then we go do a quest."

"At two in the morning?" she asked, seeming skeptical.

"Never a better time."

"Okay," she said, mood already perking up. She squinted her red eyes at him and then pointed to his jacket and said, "Oh my god. That is a jacket not a hoodie. I can't believe it, you're not wearing your hoodie. What has the world come to?"

"See," said Keith, "there you go again. Making comments on my hoodie. I told you: you're obsessed."

"Shut up," she laughed and Keith grinned.

He led her to his bedroom and Natalie waited on his bed as he quickly changed out of his jacket and replaced it with a black hoodie. "So," said Keith, "do you want to talk about—"

"No," she said quickly. "At least not right now. I wanna do a quest first…then I'll tell you." She glanced at him and said, voice excited, "So, Mr. Zetterstrom, what quest are we doing tonight?"

"Don't know, Miss Anderson, it's your turn to pick."

* * *

><p>Natalie wouldn't tell Keith where they were going or what guest they were going to do. She drove a few miles from Keith's house and parked the car on a random street before turning to look at him. "We," she started, "are going to lie in the middle of an intersection." She squealed in excitement.<p>

Keith was glad to see her happy. "Well what're you waiting for," he said, grinning. "Let's go."

The car was parked a few feet away from the intersection so it took them a minute before they were in position. They lied on their back on the cold ground, right in the middle of the intersection. It was almost three in the morning and they weren't in a very busy area so Keith didn't think they'd have to worry about a car coming by for at least a few minutes.

Keith stared up at the sky; it was cloudy and foggy so he couldn't see any stars. He didn't mind, though, it was kind of pretty with the fog and the glow of the streetlights. They had been lying like that for a few minutes when Natalie finally spoke. "I'm sorry about earlier," she said. "For interrupting you and your aunt. You looked like you were having fun."

Keith turned to look at her. "Don't worry about it, we were done." She smiled at him, her eyes searching his face, looking for what he wasn't sure. When she didn't make any move to talk he figured she wasn't going to say anything unless he prompted her. "So, do you wanna talk about it?"

She sighed. "Thanksgiving sucked, Keith. Royally."

"What happened?" he asked, voice soft.

She blinked furiously for a few minutes before she said, "My mom and dad have been fighting for a while, since before last summer. Their fighting is what actually screwed up my whole sleeping schedule. They started fighting at night a lot and it bothered me so much I started going to the diner." She took a deep breath. "That's why I sleep after school and sometimes before; those are normally the calm time. I can only sleep after school mostly since it's when they don't fight. I thought they were hitting a rough patch in their marriage, but tonight everything went to shit basically." She brought the palm of her hands to her eyes, as if trying to keep the tears in. "I'm sorry," she whispered, voice cracking. "I don't mean to keep falling apart like this, I know it's ridiculous."

"No, it's really not," said Keith.

It only took her a few moments for her to compose herself. "They got in a huge fight over dinner and my mom stormed off—she actually _left_. We hadn't even finished dinner. I finally asked my dad what was going on. She—my mom—she _cheated _on him. I—Keith, it was awful, he was crying and I—I just don't understand why she would do that."

Tears were streaming down her face and Keith wanted to kiss her again. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Sure, Natalie was _beautiful_ and _amazing_ he couldn't deny that, but he couldn't let himself fall for her because that could turn into love. He didn't know why, though, he had suddenly started having all these feelings. "This is why I don't believe in true love, Keith. I thought my parents were the perfect couple and this happened and it has ruined love for me."

Keith was silent for a moment, trying to come up with the best way to reply to her. He wanted to make sure he said the right thing. "I'm sorry, partner. For what's going on at home and for it ruining your Thanksgiving. That's got to suck, but I really don't think you should base love on one couple's experience. I mean, I know they're your parents, but they're not _you_. What they are going through doesn't mean you will go through it. Just because they didn't work out doesn't mean that you can't find love."

She was silent for a long time, and a tiny bit of understanding graced her face. "That—thank you, Keith. That—it makes sense, it really does, but it's going to take a long time for me to believe it—If I ever do."

"That's okay," he whispered.

She smiled softly at him before turning to lie fully on her back again. Keith was surprised no cars had come by yet. He felt Natalie scoot closer to him and a few minutes later she grabbed his hand and squeezed. He was tempted to pull away but he didn't. Instead?

He squeezed back.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you guys enjoyed it. I really hope these chapters aren't too long! I always try and make them shorter, but I never succeed! I apologize again for taking so long to update. Unfortunately, I have family coming into town and then I'm going on vacation so I most likely won't get the next chapter out until the middle of July. But don't worry, your reviews always keep me motivated and I can't stay away for too long. Please review and let me know what you thought of the chapter!_


	10. Unwanted

**A/N: **_Hey, guys! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and/or added this story to their story alert. It means a lot to me! Here's the next chapter of _Breathe_; I hope you enjoy it!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten: Unwanted<strong>

This was—officially—Natalie's _worst _Thanksgiving.

Ever.

The fighting had started in the morning; at the exact moment her dad had put the turkey in the oven, and didn't stop. Natalie's parents continued to fight while she got ready, went to Raff's for an early Thanksgiving lunch, and were still fighting when she and Raff came back for dinner.

By the time they all five sat down for dinner, Natalie felt like screaming. She couldn't believe her parents had so much to fight about. They fought about stupid things like the temperature of the house, how the thermostat should be set at seventy-four instead of seventy-five; they fought about how to cook the turkey; they even fought about what they were _wearing_. Caroline thought everyone should dress up, while Pete wanted to wear sweatpants.

It was ridiculous.

Natalie had to prevent herself from yelling at her parents at least half a dozen times during dinner. She wasn't sure if Raff noticed the fighting or not; she figured he did. He would have to be extremely oblivious not to. Natalie wasn't sure if she wanted Raff to talk to her about the obvious problems her parents were having or not. Part of her wanted him to ask her if she was okay, because she wanted him to show her he cared. But he never did. The other part of her (a larger part) was glad he didn't talk to her about the fighting because if he did that meant he could tell her family was falling apart.

Dinner progressed without any major fights. Natalie had been extra careful not to bring up any topic that would cause a fight (which was a lot of things, so she mostly kept her mouth shut).

But when the topic of dessert came up, everything fell apart. Inwardly, Natalie berated herself for thinking they could actually get through dinner like a normal family.

"What do you mean there's no apple pie?" asked Pete, anger and disappointment in his voice.

Caroline had just placed two pumpkin pies in the center of the table and was spraying a tall, thick mountain of whipped cream on them when Pete had spoken up. "I didn't feel like making it this year," replied Caroline, the tone in her voice caused Natalie to freeze. It was causal but head an icy tone to it.

"You always make apple pie for Thanksgiving. It's my favorite," stated Pete.

Caroline stopped spraying whipped cream on the pies and turned to face Pete. Hands on her hip and looking quite pissed off she replied, "Well, I don't really care. Apple pie takes a lot of effort to make and I wasn't in the mood this year to make it. You have two hands, you could've made it yourself."

Pete stood up so quickly his chair wavered before falling over. Natalie jumped. In a voice low Pete growled, "Are you trying to a make a point, Caroline? Because if so, it's not working. In case you forgot, _I _should be the angry one. I'm the one trying to forgive you, so don't take it all out on me because I'm taking too long and this isn't going like you planned." He turned to Natalie, Raff, Cynthia, and Zach. "I'm sorry guys, but I'm excusing myself."

Speechless, Caroline threw the bottle of whipped cream on the table and stormed off. Silence followed and Raff was the first one to speak. "Baby, I think I'm going to leave. I think you—"

"No!" interjected Natalie quickly. As much as Raff had been annoying and pissing her off lately, she didn't want to be alone. "No," she said, voice much lower this time. "Please don't leave. We can watch a movie or something."

Raff didn't look convinced and stood up instead. Natalie sighed in defeat. "Maybe some other time." He bent down and hugged her. She wrapped her arms loosely around his waist; she didn't have the energy to hug him any tighter. He kissed her before pulling away. "Goodnight. Call me." He said the last sentence more like a demand.

When Raff was gone, Natalie stared at her brother and sister who both sat there speechless and looking a little lost. Natalie figured she had the same look on her face. The three stared at each other for a few quiet minutes before Natalie got an idea. Sitting up in her chair, she could grabbed both pumpkin pies, placing one in front of Zach and one between her and Cynthia.

After handing each sibling a fork, she said, "Dig in."

No one had to be told twice. All three of them dug into their pie with aggression; it was as if they were taking their anger and sadness out on the pie.

They ate until they were stuffed. They ate until the pies were gone.

* * *

><p>After their dishes had been cleared and Zach and Cynthia retreated to their rooms, Natalie found herself pacing in front of her dad's office. Taking deep gulps of air she placed her sweaty hands on the doorknob; it took her a minute, though, before she gained the courage to knock and push walk in.<p>

Pete looked up from his computer as Natalie walked in. "Hey, Nats," he said cheerfully. He smiled.

Natalie could tell how fake it was, but didn't say anything. She understood. "Hey, Dad." Her eyes skimmed his bookshelves and pictures on the wall. Every picture that hung her dad had personally taken.

"Is there something you need, honey?"

She knew he _knew_ why she was here, but she was glad he acted like he didn't. Taking a deep breath, she stopped in front of his desk. "Dad," she started slowly, "what's going on with you and mom? I-I this has been going on for awhile…the fighting and…" Natalie watched as her dad put his head in his hands and she stopped talking. After a few painful seconds she finally stuttered out, "D-Dad?"

He was shaking his head. "I'm so sorry, Natalie," he mumbled through his hands, "for everything your mom and I are putting you, Cynthia, and Zach through. I—" He took a deep breath; Natalie knew this by the way his shoulders rose and then fell like he was carrying a heavy weight and couldn't get rid of it no matter how hard he tried.

"Dad, are you okay? What's going on?"

Pete finally looked up and his eyes were red and shining.

He was crying.

Natalie felt her stomach flip and her heart beat faster in her chest. "Nats," he started, voice a whisper, "your mom. Your mom cheated on me."

"WHAT?" she screamed. "Mom _cheated_ on you? Are you—"

"Natalie, please stop—"

But she couldn't stop. She couldn't stop yelling, her anger spilling into words. "How could she do that to you? How can she—what are you going to do?"

"Natalie," said Pete sternly, "calm down." He got up and walked around his desk and stood in front of her. "Look, Natalie, I don't want what I told you to make you upset at your mom."

"Of course I'm upset with mom! I'm more than upset with her!"

"You mom didn't cheat on me without reason. There had been tension in our relationship for some time. She was upset at my work schedule, with how late I was working, and it made her feel unloved. Apparently she went looking for love somewhere else."

Natalie sniffed, trying hard to keep the tears in, but it was impossible; tears slid down her cheeks anyway. "Are you guys going to get a divorce?"

Pete sighed, and Natalie felt her heart break. "I don't know," he answered honestly. He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "Sometimes a person does something really horrible and you try to give them a second chance—I'm _trying_—but it's really hard to move on from the mistakes that person has made." He gave her a sad grin. "Just please promise me you'll keep this between us. Your mom didn't want me to tell you, for obvious reasons. Promise me, okay?"

"Okay," said Natalie through her tears. "I promise." She wiped the tears off her cheeks and turned to leave.

"I love you. You know that, right?"

Natalie's hand reached for the doorknob as he said this, but she turned around. "Yeah, I know." She gave him a small smile. "Dad, what I don't get is why mom is so mad at you all the time. You weren't the one who cheated."

Pete took a few moments to consider this before he responded. "I think your mom is going through a lot of guilt right now, and I think this is her way of dealing with it. It may not make sense, but it's how it is."

"You're right, it doesn't make sense," agreed Natalie, wiping her cheeks again as she opened the door. As she walked out, she whispered through her tears, "None of this makes sense."

* * *

><p>Natalie couldn't sleep; she lay in her bed, eyes wide open, the glow of her phone the only light illuminating her room. It was almost midnight and Natalie had been staring at her phone for the last hour. She had tried to call Keith almost half a dozen times and he had yet to pick up or call her back. All she had wanted after talking to her dad was Keith. To talk to him. But she hadn't been able to get a hold of him, and she was going crazy.<p>

For the next few hours Natalie waited for him to call, and when it turned a quarter to one she couldn't stay in bed any more. She_ needed_ to talk to Keith. She didn't care they had decided not to meet tonight; she didn't care he might be sleeping. All she cared about was how much she needed to talk to him.

As quickly as she could she put on her shoes, grabbed her keys, and snuck out of the house and into the cold, winter air.

* * *

><p>The Saturday after school started back up, Natalie knew how she and Keith were going to spend their night.<p>

She was going to teach Keith to swim.

Since she wasn't sure how Keith was going to react, she didn't tell him her plans, only that instead of meeting at the diner she was going to pick him up at ten.

At a quarter to ten, she parked in front of Keith's house. She was early, so she didn't bother to look amongst the darkness for Keith approaching; instead, she rifled through her CD collection wanting to listen to something different. It didn't take her long to get absorbed rifling through her collection. A few minutes later though, something banged against her door and she let out a blood-curdling scream, CDs and cases went flying. Hand to her heart, she looked up at her window and saw Keith, shaking with laughter.

She glared.

Through narrowed eyes she watched Keith walk in front of her car and slide into the passenger seat. After he closed the car door, she hit him hard on the arm.

"What the hell!" he exclaimed, rubbing his arm like he was actually in pain. He was such a faker. She didn't hit that hard.

"You are such a jerk! You scared the shit out of me!" She wanted to hit him again.

His response was a deep chuckle that made Natalie shiver. In a good way. "It was hilarious," he said as he buckled his seatbelt and Natalie cleaned up her fallen CDs.

"Oh, yes, Keith," said Natalie sarcastically, rolling her eyes even though she knew he couldn't see her in the dark. "Can't you hear how much I'm laughing?"

He chuckled again, seeming extremely pleased with himself. "So," he asked, just as Natalie put in a John Mayer CD. She picked it because Keith hated John Mayer, and he deserved some kind of pay back. "What's the secret plan?"

Natalie turned the music on (a little louder than normal) and said casually, "It's a secret."

"C'mon," whined Keith. "Give me some clue!"

Biting her lip in thought, Natalie turned left and made her way to the main road towards town. "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's a new quest, one that's not on my list."

"Seriously, partner? That is the lamest clue ever. It doesn't tell me anything."

"Which makes it awesome." She stopped at a red light and turned to look at him. He looked confused but excited. She, sadly, expected the excitement to diminish once he knew what she had planned.

"Please just tell me," he begged.

"No." She tapped his nose with her index finger, causing him to blink. "Patience."

"Fine," he finally relented. "But do we have to listen to this crap the whole way there?"

* * *

><p>It only took fifteen minutes to arrive at the gym; a place where Natalie spent a few hours every night before she met Keith at the diner. She grabbed a bag from the back seat of her car before indicating to Keith to follow her. They walked around to the back of the building and to a door that was partially hidden by some trees. Opening her bag, she pulled a out teal lanyard with a key on it.<p>

"Someone's got special privileges," joked Keith as they walked into a dark hallway, the smell of chlorine and bleach permeated the area.

"My dad's friend owns this place and lets me use it whenever." Grabbing Keith's hand, she led him down the dark hallway. She had it memorized. They arrived in a larger room, where a pool was; it lit the room in a eerie blue glow. Holding her breath, Natalie waited for Keith to say something.

"We're not swimming, are we?" he asked, voice apprehensive and nervous. Natalie walked a few feet to turn the light on. The pool area light up with a bright fluorescent light that blinded them for a few seconds.

"Look, Keith, after…after I found out you couldn't swim…and was scared to…I thought, 'why don't I teach you?' I mean, I _am_ on the swim team, right? I thought it would be a good quest to add to our list." He wasn't looking at her anymore. Instead, his head was turned to the side, and he was staring at the pool. "Keith?"

"I don't know," he whispered, turning back to Natalie. She could see the fear in his eyes. "I don't think this is a good idea. Actually, I think it's a _really_ bad idea."

"Please, Keith, just one night." She felt kind of bad, pressuring him like this when he was obviously so terrified, but she really wanted to do this for him. "We can take it slow. Really slow."

He had his arms crossed over his chest now, as if he was protecting himself. "I _really_ don't like water."

"I'll make you like it again."

Silence crowded the room as Keith contemplated this. Finally, he took in a shaky breath and said, "Fine."

Natalie grinned softly and quickly opened the bag at her feet and dug out black swimming trunks. "Here, you can go change in there." He took the suit from her and walked to the small room where she had pointed.

While he changed, Natalie took off her sweatpants and t-shirt, revealing her black and pink one-piece bathing suit. Keith returned after a few minutes later wearing his trunks. Natalie smiled. "They fit," she said, proud of herself. Keith nodded, but didn't say anything. She didn't expect him to. "You ready?"

He shrugged. Natalie walked quickly to the pool, climbing down the ladder and into the water in less than a minute. She dunked her head under the water, and when she resurfaced she found Keith standing in front of the ladder, but not moving. "You okay?" she asked, tightening her ponytail as she stared at him.

He didn't say anything, only walked forward, placing his hands on the short metal handles. Natalie could see he was gripping them tightly. He was shaking as he made his way down the short ladder. As soon as he got to the bottom, the water up to his hips, he made his way to the side of the pool where he gripped the edge tightly. He was shaking pretty violently, and Natalie was worried he was going to have a panic attack. But least he seemed aware of his surroundings.

Swimming over to him, Natalie repeated, "You okay?" She was worried; his shaking looked like it was getting more intense as the seconds passed.

He gave a short nod, which Natalie took as a good sign even though he was shaking so violently. "So, do you wanna—" She gestured to the center of the pool.

Keith shook his head. "No," he said quickly, voice tight but somehow wavering. "Um, I really don't want to move right now. If that's okay. You said slow, right?"

"Yup," nodded Natalie. "As slow as you want." She stared at him a few seconds. He was still shaking pretty violently and was a little pale, but Natalie didn't think he was getting any worse, which was good. "Is there anything you want to do? She had no idea what to do with him.

"Talk," he choked out. "Talk so I don't keep thinking about how much I'm freaking out right now."

"Do you want to get out?" asked Natalie slowly.

He considered this. "No, not right now, but talk?"

"About?" she breathed.

"Anything," he whispered back.

"Okay," said Natalie. Taking a few moments, she tried to think of something to talk to Keith about. "My parents took me to my first swim lesson when I was like three and apparently I would cry—hysterically—when the lesson was over and I had to get out. When I was old enough I was on any swim team I could find. Haven't stopped swimming since."

"Why do you like swimming so much?" asked Keith, voice trembling. Natalie felt bad; she shouldn't have made him do this.

"Because" she started whimsically. "Because when I swim I feel happy. Like no matter what crap I'm going through in my life it's just me and the water and I can finally breathe. I dunno, it sounds stupid when I say it out loud." She stared at the water before she continued, her voice soft and bittersweet. "The water, Keith, just takes away the bad stuff for a while. I hope one day you can experience that, because it's amazing and beautiful."

"Take away the bad stuff for a while? That. _That_ would be nice," he said sadly. He went quiet then, and Natalie wondered what he was thinking. It must have not been something good because suddenly he blurted out, "I need to get out. I need—" He closed his eyes tightly, and Natalie wondered what he was remembering. She shivered even though the water was warm.

"Okay," she said. Gently, she grabbed his upper arm and helped him up the ladder, out of the pool, and toward a wall where he sat down and leaned against.

As soon as he sat down, he placed his head between his legs and took deep breaths, calming himself down. Quickly, Natalie went to her bag, grabbed a thermos, and mad her way back to him. She twisted the lid of the thermos, filled it with coffee, and then said, "Coffee?"

Surprisingly, Keith lifted his head. He gave her a grateful look as he took the coffee from her. His hands were still shaking, but not half as bad as they had been in the pool. "Keith, I'm so sorry," she blurted. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Keith took a few sips of his coffee before placing the lid on the ground and resting his head against the wall as he looked at her. "It's okay." At her look he added, "I promise."

"I _promise _we don't ever have to do this again. I can't—"

"No," Keith interjected. "It was okay. I think I want to do it again."

"Really?"

"Really. Is that okay?"

Natalie scooted closer to him, learning her head against the wall; their heads touched. "It's more than okay."

* * *

><p>On Thursday, Melissa called Natalie after she got out of swim practice. "Hello?" Why was Melissa calling her? It couldn't be to watch Bailey. Was something wrong with Keith?<p>

"Hey, Natalie. This is Melissa." At Melissa's cheerful voice Natalie calmed down. Unfortunately, she knew what Melissa's upset voice sounded like.

"Oh, hey, what's up?" Natalie walked through the front doors of her school and headed towards the parking lot.

A radio was playing softly in the background and Natalie figured Melissa was driving home. "I wanted to do something special for Keith's birthday, but he's vetoed everything I've suggested. I've decided to just take him out to dinner. I'm calling because I think Keith would really like it if you came."

Natalie stopped, frozen, in the middle of the parking lot. "It's Keith _birthday_?"

"Tomorrow, yes," replied Melissa. Not sounding surprised she added, "He didn't tell you, did he?"

"No," said Natalie. "He hasn't. Yet." Natalie tired to not be hurt by this.

"I'm not surprised," Melissa sighed. "So, do you think you can come? I've told him we're going to dinner, but didn't say where and that I was going to invite you."

"Sure," smiled Natalie. "I wouldn't miss it."

"Great!" exclaimed Melissa. Even though Natalie couldn't see Melissa, she knew she was smiling. "Can you meet us at my house at six tomorrow?"

"I'll be there." After they hung up and Natalie got into her car, she realized something.

What was she going to get Keith for his birthday?

* * *

><p>On Friday, Natalie arrived at Melissa's at a quarter to six. She rang the doorbell and it wasn't Natalie or Keith who answered the door but a tall, big-boned guy. Natalie assumed it was Melissa's boyfriend, Jake.<p>

"Uh, hi, I'm Natalie."

"Oh, right." Jake opened the door wider and Natalie took that as an offer to walk inside.

Jake closed the door behind her and then plopped down on the sofa. "Mellissa's still getting ready, and the boy's downstairs."

Natalie felt incredibly awkward; Jake wasn't the most welcoming person. "Oh, okay, thanks." She hesitated before walking in front of Jake so she could get to Keith's room. This had been the first time she had ever met Jake (she knew Melissa had been dating him for a while), but Natalie was not impressed. She couldn't stop thinking about the way he had called Keith 'the boy.' It didn't sit well with her at all.

Trying to be optimistic, she figured Jake was probably tired and would be friendlier at dinner. Keith's door was closed when she neared his room, so she knocked. When she heard Keith mutter, "Come in," she opened the door and found Keith sitting at his desk putting his shoes on.

"Hey, birthday boy!" exclaimed Natalie. She had been dying to say that all day at school.

At Natalie's voice, Keith's head shot up and he said, looking both shocked and excited, "Partner, what are you doing here?"

"Well, somebody told me that it was your birthday," she said in a sing-song voice, as she walked over to his desk and stood in front of it. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. During school today, she had been dying to ask him this question.

"Uh, 'cause it's _just_ a birthday." He bent down, finished tying his shoes, got up, and walked to his closet. Natalie couldn't help but stare at him. The jeans he was wearing fit really well and looked really _really_ good on. Not to mention the tight black shirt he was wearing made everything just look _better_.

When he turned around hoodie—a black one—in hand, and caught her staring, she quickly averted her eyes. Keith looked down at himself. "Is something wrong with my outfit? Is there a stain on my shirt or something?" He picked his shirt up and looked at it closely for a stain. Natalie could see his chest, and her heart fluttered.

She knew it was wrong to be ogling Keith like this. She had a boyfriend. But she couldn't help it. "No," she choked out. "It's fine. I was just spacing out." She coughed and then added, "Oh, and by the way, that was a horrible excuse. _Just_ a birthday? Seriously, Keith."

"Just a birthday," he agreed.

"Okay…so, if it's 'just a birthday,' maybe I should take your present back?" asked Natalie cheekily.

Keith gasped. "Why would you say such a horrible thing?"

* * *

><p>Melissa surprised Keith by taking him to dinner to a nice Italian place for dinner (apparently Keith<em> loved<em> Italian). As dinner progressed, Natalie could tell Keith didn't like Jake either. Unfortunately, Jake had not become friendlier at dinner; if anything, the more Natalie got to know him, the worse he got. The biggest reason Natalie didn't like Jake? He was rude, especially to Keith, and it really pissed her off. Natalie felt bad for Melissa; she could tell Melissa noticed, but didn't know what to do about it and how to stop it.

Keith didn't talk much during dinner, and Natalie figured it was because of Jake. When Keith did speak, Jake never hesitated to have some type of sarcastic or condescending retort.

It was during a really awkward really long moment of silence when Natalie felt she needed to say something, or she as going to go crazy. It took her a few minutes to think of something to say. "Hey," she asked, turning her attention to Keith. "Have you heard from your parents? For your birthday? What country are they in right now?"

She regretted speaking the moment she saw Keith's reaction. He visibly flinched, turned a ghostly pale, and became extremely interested in his plate of food. And he didn't speak. Why had she brought up his parents? Why hadn't she thought of how upset he had been when he had first told her about them? "Oh god, Keith, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have brought them up."

"It's okay," he whispered. He kept staring at his plate, and Natalie wasn't sure she believed him.

"I'm _so_ sorry—"

Jake cut her off. "Natalie, I wouldn't apologize. It seems to me you're confused. It seems Keith—"

At this, Keith's head shot up and gave Jake a menacing glare and then looked to his aunt pleadingly. Melissa quickly leaned over and whispered something in Jake's ear. Jake didn't look pleased at what Melissa said, but he did say, mumbling, "Fine. I won't say anything."

Natalie _was_ confused, but knew it was best not to ask any more questions.

Thirty minutes later, as they were leaving the restaurant Natalie pulled Keith aside. They hid in a small corner of the restaurant. "I didn't ruin dinner, did I?" It was then, as Natalie was waiting for Keith to respond did she realize how tired he looked. There were dark bags under his eyes, and it looked like he was having a hard time keeping them open. For the past month, it seemed like he had been doing better. Better in the sense he seemed to be more awake and didn't fall asleep as often in the diner. She had hoped he had been getting more sleep, but right now the tiredness he was showing proved otherwise.

"What?" blurted Keith. He looked at her like she was crazy. "What are you talking about? How could you ruin dinner?"

"Because," she started. "_Because_ I asked about your parents." She felt prickling behind her eyes. "I didn't mean to upset you. I promise I won't bring them up again."

"Don't worry about that," said Keith. "It's not a big deal. I'm glad you came."

"Really?"

"Really. Trust me."

And Natalie did.

* * *

><p>Back at Melissa's, they had cake (dark chocolate with raspberry filling and cream cheese frosting), and then went into the living room to open presents. Jake sat down in the living room, but turned on the television. Natalie thought it was extremely strange and was surprised Melissa didn't tell him to turn it off and watch Keith open his presents. But she never did.<p>

Keith opened the presents from his aunt first. Natalie figured it was because one of the presents was huge. It was at least three feet tall and four feet long. Keith opened the package with gusto and when he saw what it was (a flat screen television) his eyes got wide and Natalie love how excited he got. "This. Is. awesome."

"I'd thought you'd like to have a television in your room," began Melissa. "I know there's one in the entertainment area, but I know that's not the same." Melissa was saying this while Keith was opening the other presents from her. A Blu-ray player and some DVDs.

"I love it," said Keith and Melissa smiled. Keith turned to Natalie. "So, you have to promise me you're going to watch a movie with me. Tonight."

Natalie bit her lip and tried to look like she was in deep thought. "Hmmm…"

He bumped her shoulder with his. "We can make popcorn," he bribed.

"Okay, if there's popcorn I'm in."

Keith grinned and after he opened the last two presents from Melissa (some games for his Xbox), Natalie gave him her present. A blue package with a red bow on it. He shook it. "Let me guess," he mused, "A hoodie?"

"Not quite," laughed Natalie.

Like the others, Keith opened it quickly. "A jacket," he said, holding up a green and taupe covered zip up jacket. "It's great."

"I thought, maybe one day," started Natalie, "you'd get sick of those hoodies and want something else. If you haven't noticed yet, this jacket has no hood."

This caused Keith to chuckle and then he said, "Imagine that." He leaned against the couch, still holding the jacket up. "It's great. I love it. Thanks."

After Keith finished opening some presents from relatives (Natalie tried hard not to notice how he had no presents from his parents) she helped Keith set up his television. It didn't take long and soon they were sitting on his bed, a bowl of popcorn between them. They had only been watching _Spiderman_ for a few minutes when Natalie suddenly blurted out, "So Jake's a dick."

"Yeah," said Keith quickly. By the tone of his voice Natalie could tell he didn't want to talk about it, but she _wanted _to. She wanted to because for some reason Jake worried her, especially the way he treated Keith.

"So, um, is he always like that?" she asked, trying to act casual.

"Yeah, he is," said Keith, grabbing a huge handful of popcorn and stuffing the whole amount in his mouth. Natalie knew he did this so he wouldn't have to talk.

"Oh, that sucks," frowned Natalie.

"Uh huh," mumbled Keith between his mouthful of popcorn.

Natalie bit her lip, trying to decide whether or not to keep talking. Apparently her mouth decided before she did. "So, is he only mean to you?"

"What is that suppose to mean?" asked Keith. He had finally taken his gaze off the movie and was looking at her.

"Nothing," whispered Natalie, voice cracking. "I just. I wanted to make sure he hasn't done anything."

"He hasn't done anything," stressed Keith. "The only thing he has done is be an ass to me, and I think I can deal with that."

"If you say so."

"I do." Keith's expression softened. "Don't worry about me, okay?"

"I'll try."

But Natalie did _worry_. A lot. There was something about Jake and they way he treated Keith that made Natalie really worried.

* * *

><p>Sunday, Natalie hung out with Raff at his place. They watched sports and made out and Natalie didn't once complain. Why? Because she felt guilty. Guilty because after she found out what her mom had done she began to wonder if she was just as bad. Natalie couldn't stop thinking of the time she and Keith had kissed.<p>

She couldn't help but wonder: did that make her a cheater, too?

Natalie wanted to ask Keith about it, but they acted like the kiss had never happened and she knew if she brought it up it would only make everything awkward between them, and she didn't want to ruin their friendship in any way.

Keith _had_ been the one to kiss her, there was no questioning that, so she knew she didn't have to feel guilty about it.

But.

But she felt guilty because when he had kissed her she hadn't tried to stop him; she felt guilty because she had enjoyed it; mostly, though, she felt guilty because what she wanted most was for Keith to kiss her again.

* * *

><p>Natalie left Raff's at two. On her way home, she stopped at a gas station near The Pancake Hut. Just as she was getting back into her car after filling her tank, she saw Keith walking by, hands in the pocket of his hoodie.<p>

"Keith!" she called. "Keith!" He didn't turned around, and thinking he hadn't heard her she quickly jogged over to him. "Keith!" she called a third time, and she knew this time there was no way he couldn't have heard her. She caught up to him and grabbed his arm, and pulled him around to face her.

"What," he hissed, "do you want?"

"What are you doing? Why are you ignoring me?" she yelled. She finally got a good look at him, though, and regretted the tone she had used on him. Voice more soft she added, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he growled. "Let go of me."

"No," said Natalie forcefully. "Obviously you're upset. You may think you're good at hiding it, but right now? You're not." Keith didn't rebuke; instead, he swallowed thickly and became very interested in the sky. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asked after a few seconds of him not speaking.

"My aunt and I got in a really big fight, okay? It's not big deal." He pulled at his arm and Natalie let go.

"I think it is a big deal," she whispered sadly. "Did she say something that upset you?"

"No," he pressed and Natalie knew he really meant 'yes.' "I need to go somewhere, so I'll see you later."

"Where are you going?" she asked quickly, not wanting to him go when he was so upset.

"To the arcade. I want to go to the Batting Cages. To hit baseballs."

"You can't walk there, Keith. Do you even know where the arcade is? It's like ten miles away."

"I don't care. I'm walking."

Knowing she wasn't going to get through to him, she grabbed his arm and without explanation dragged him to her car. At least he didn't try and resist her. When they were seated, she glanced at him and said, "I think the arcade sounds fun."

* * *

><p>Natalie had never been to an arcade. Her mom thought them a waste of money and time. When Natalie had been little, she had begged at least a dozen times to go to one. Her mom had never budged. The older Natalie got, the more she began to feel the same as her mom (even though she had never been to one).<p>

But Natalie's view changed as soon as she followed Keith inside. It looked fun. There were games everywhere and even though most of the prizes looked stupid and cheap, she didn't care. Natalie wanted to ask Keith if they could play some of the games (going to an arcade _was _on their quest list), but she thought it best to ask after he had time at the Batting Cages he was so determined to play at.

Even though Keith had never been to this specific arcade, he seemed to know exactly where to go. Natalie followed Keith out a back door that led to an outside area. There was a blue tarp covering the area to keep the cold and wind out, but Natalie still pulled her jacket closer to her. Five cages were lined up against a concrete wall, and Keith choose the last one at the end.

"Have you done this before?" asked Natalie hesitantly.

Keith looked at her, with a 'duh' kind of expression. "Yes, partner. Loads of times." Pulling his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans he grabbed two dollar bills. He fed the money into machine that spit out four tokens.

While Keith moved onto choosing a baseball bat Natalie asked, "So…isn't seventy miles per hour fast?" she asked. She had been staring at a red sign attached to the cage, which warned players the speed of the ball.

Keith had just grabbed a bat and plastic blue helmet and turned to face Natalie. A confused expression was gracing his face, so Natalie pointed to the sign. "Oh. No that's fine." At Natalie's look Keith added, "Each cage is a different speed. If you're experienced enough you can go to the cage with the faster balls."

It all seemed really dangerous to Natalie. "Keith, I don't know…"

"If you don't want to watch, then leave."

Before Natalie could respond, he walked into the batting cage, the metal fence door slamming behind him. Keith put one of his tokens in the machine, and quickly stepped onto the home plate, taking stance. Fifteen seconds later, a ball shot out of a machine, which was at the end of the cage, and Keith hit it, sending the ball flying.

Twenty balls shot out of the machine—Natalie counted—and Keith hit every one. When the balls stopped flying, Keith walked over to the token machine and put another one in.

Keith repeated the same process two more times, but when he started walking over to the token machine for a fourth round, breathing heavily, sweating, and looking exhausted, Natalie had to speak up. "Keith, I think you should stop. Why don't we go inside and play some of the games in there?" she asked.

"No." Then he proceeded to put his last token in and walked back over to home plate.

"Stop, Keith, seriously. You're freaking me out. This is crazy! You're going to hurt yourself—"

At this, he spun around, so fast he stumbled a little. "Will you _please_ shut up?"

Natalie saw it coming, but didn't have time to scream a warning to Keith to move before a ball—going almost eighty miles per hour—hit him square on the back.

"SON OF A BITCH!" screamed Keith in a voice that made Natalie close her eyes and flinch.

She opened her eyes quickly, though, to check on him. He had stumbled out of the path of any more balls, and was leaning against the side of the cage, fingers gripping the metal tightly. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was breathing in short painful gasps.

Natalie felt like the breath had been taken out of her, and she couldn't speak. Opening the door to the cage and making sure to stay out of the way of any oncoming balls, she made it to Keith's side.

"Shit, Keith, I'm so sorry. That was all my fault. Are-Are you okay? Do I need to get someone?" Lifting her hand, she went to rub his back comfortingly, but then remembered that was where he was injured. Keith didn't respond, only stayed frozen, eyes still shut. "Keith, seriously, you're freaking me out. Just—are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he croaked. Finally, _finally_ he opened his eyes; Natalie could see the pain in them and guilt filled her up.

"Are you sure? That sounded like it really hurt."

"I'm fine. Stop asking me that."

Even though Natalie still felt extremely guilty, she got mad. If Keith hadn't been hitting balls like a manic she wouldn't have yelled at him and distracted him in the first place.

"Can you stop being such a jerk? I'm trying to help you."

"I don't need help."

Natalie let out a sarcastic laugh at this. "Obviously you do or none of this would've happened in the first place." She stared at him, eyes fierce. "Now, tell me why you're pissed off. You_ owe_ me that much."

"Fine," he spat out. "You want to know what's wrong? My aunt and I got in a huge fight. And guess what? She doesn't want me. Now, not only do I not have my parents, but my aunt doesn't want me." He took in a deep breath, and in a shaky voice responded, "Happy now?"

And then Keith stormed off, leaving Natalie alone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _Hope you enjoyed it and please review!_


	11. Get It Right

**A/N: **_Thank you so much for the reviews! You guys are awesome!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven: Get It Right<strong>

Keith was exhausted. It was one in the afternoon and even though he had managed to get a few more hours of sleep than he normally did, he could barley keep his eyes open. It worried him a little as he normally didn't feel so tired right after he woke up. It took him a good half hour to summon the energy to shower and get ready. For some reason he felt light-headed, like he had walked into a cloud and couldn't get out.

When he was dressed, Keith walked over to his nightstand where he kept his caffeine pills. He didn't want to take them but if he wanted to stay awake, he needed to. He needed to cut back; he could tell he was starting to depend on them to stay awake (and the longer he used them, the less effective they became), but he _couldn't_ stop because sleep scared him too much.

But when he opened his drawer, the pills weren't there.

Had he used them all and forgotten? He was sure he hadn't. The last time he had taken some was yesterday, and there had been at least twenty left. For a few seconds, he stood there in confusion. When he finally shook himself out of his gaze, he started searching his room for the bottle of pills but they never showed up. He didn't know why he was so worried; he could just go buy some more. Which he intended to do right after he ate lunch. He hoped food would clear the fog he was in.

When Keith walked into the kitchen, Bailey was there to greet him. The puppy still slept with Keith at night, but he always snuck out of his room when Melissa woke up. While Keith heated up some leftover lasagna, Bailey nipped at Keith's ankles until he was picked up. Keith thought Bailey was the most needy dog ever.

Melissa walked into the kitchen just as Keith sat down with his food and a pop. "Hi," said Keith.

"Hi, Keith."

At the serious tone in his aunt's voice, Keith froze. "Is something wrong?" he asked slowly, lowering his fork to his plate.

Melissa sat down at the table across from him. "We need to talk." Her voice was serious and kind of freaked him out.

Keith's heart skipped a beat. "Uh…okay…."

Melissa didn't waste any time and placed a small black bottle on the table. Caffeine pills. _Shit_, thought Keith. "I found these in your room yesterday."

"Why the hell were you in my room?" he blurted out. "You shouldn't have gone in there!"

"I wasn't snooping, if that what's you think. I was going to do your laundry-some of your clothes has been on your floor for weeks." Keith thought this was an exaggeration, but didn't think this was the time to debate this. "And when I picked up one of your sweat shirts this bottle fell out of the pocket."

"Why were you doing my laundry? I've seventeen, I do my own laundry." He paused. Then snapped, "When I want."

"I was trying to help you," stated Melissa. "I want to know why you have an almost empty bottle of caffeine pills," she demanded, voice fierce and authoritative.

"Dunno." He shrugged.

Melissa sighed loudly. "Don't start that with me. I know you _know_. Tell me right now. Why are you taking these and for how long?"

Keith huffed. "I haven't been taking those. I don't—"

"Do _not _lie to me," said Melissa sternly.

Keith was taken aback at his aunt's sternness for a few seconds. She had never used that tone on him. It kind of freaked him out. "Fine," he spat. "I take them. I've been taking them for a month or so."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?" he asked, rolling his eyes. Wasn't it obvious? "So I can stay awake."

Rubbing her face with the palm of her hand, Melissa asked, defeated, "You have nightmares, don't you? Frequently?"

Keith crossed his arms over his chest and looked away from her. He felt his cheeks flare in embarrassment and hoped she couldn't tell. "No." He couldn't admit that to her. What if she thought the same as Jake? That nightmares were something only little kids had? That he was _pathetic_?

"Okay, Keith, this has to stop. You_ need_ to talk to me. You _need_ to let me in or I can't help you."

Still not looking at her, Keith mumbled, voice low, "What if I don't want to let you in?"

"Then I can't help you." She sounded desperate and sad at the same time.

_I don't deserve help_, he thought. _I deserve this pain and this guilt._ "I don't need help."

"Okay, fine," said Melissa. "If you don't want to tell me what's going on, I won't push you. I can't make you talk. But you will_ not_ take these pills anymore as long as you live under my roof. Understand?"

At this, Keith swung to face his aunt, anger burning his eyes. "They're just caffeine pills. What's the big deal? It's not like I'm doing actual drugs."

"Because taking them frequently can affect your health. Just because you can get them over the counter doesn't mean they aren't bad for you. Plus, you're taking them so you don't sleep. You need to sleep, Keith. You're using them to cover problems that…You-you need to get help so—"

"You're being ridiculous," growled Keith. "I sleep enough. And I'll take the pills if I want, you can't stop me."

"Don't threaten me, Keith. I'm serious. I've tried to be forgiving and patient; you've been though a lot the past few months and are still grieving, but this is not something I will tolerate. Do you understand?"

Anger rose in Keith and he stood up, knocking his chair over in the process. Bailey practically flew into the living room, cowering behind the couch. "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE NOT MY MOM!"

Melissa breathed deeply, trying to remain calm. "I'm not trying to be your mom—"

"Yes, you are!" choked Keith. He was still shouting, but not as loud as before. "You and your stupid Thanksgiving traditions and your stupid rules. You're trying to be exactly like her. You _can't_ replace her. You won't _ever_ be able to replace her!" His voice cracked at the last word; he stared at his aunt, chest heaving.

Melissa stood up then, eyes glaring back at Keith. "Don't you _dare_ accuse me of trying to replace your mom. I'm trying my hardest here to make you comfortable. To make you happy. To make you feel like this is your_ home_, which no matter how hard I try, you still don't. I'm _trying_ here, but you're making it extremely difficult."

"No, you—"

"LET ME SPEAK, KEITH!" screamed Melissa, causing Keith to flinch so violently he was sure she noticed, but that didn't stop her from continuing to shout at him. "Do you_ think_ I wanted this? How I wanted my life to go? Do you think this is easy for me, raising a teenager? It's not! I _never_ wanted to take you in and take care of you, but I had to!"

Silence filled the room like smoke. Keith tried hard to scream, to fight back, but he couldn't do anything but stand there, speechless. She didn't want him. His aunt didn't want him. She only took him in because she felt obligated to.

"Oh, shit," whispered Melissa brokenly. "Keith, that's not…I didn't mean I don't want you. I-I meant. I-I just I meant—"

She took a step near him—maybe to try and comfort him—but he flinched away. "I-I'm going out," he finally sputtered. And then he spun around, practically running to the front door.

"Keith, wait! You misunderstood me. Please, stop! You—"

He slammed the door behind him, silencing her. He didn't once turn back.

* * *

><p>As soon as Keith walked into the main area of the arcade, he felt guilty. Guilty for how he had treated Natalie. He had yelled at her when all she had tried to do was help him. Why did he always do that? What was wrong with him? He never used to be like this. So angry.<p>

He leaned up against the wall close to the back door to wait for Natalie. He hoped she wasn't pissed at him; she had every right to be. A few minutes later, though, she walked through she walked through the door.

They caught each other's gaze right away. Luckily, instead of walking away from him, she walked towards him. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely, when she was close enough. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I was being a jerk."

The worried frown that had been gracing her face turned into a soft smile. "Yeah, you were," she agreed. "But it's okay, I understand."

"Really?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she nodded. Then added, "Thanks for telling me why you were so upset." She leaned against the wall next to him, their shoulders touching.

Keith felt kind of bad. He hadn't really told her everything about the fight. About the reason he and his aunt had fought in the first place. Maybe he would later tonight. "Sure." He grinned. Then an idea crossed his mind. "So, I noticed how curious you were about all the arcade games. Wanna play some? If I remember correctly I _do_ have coming to an arcade and winning the biggest stuffed animal on my quest list."

Natalie's eyes sparkled at his offer, and Keith never wanted to see them dim. "I thought you'd never ask," she said excitedly, grabbing his hand and pulling him forward. "I know _exactly_ which game I want to play first."

* * *

><p>Natalie was a ball of fire. She had so much <em>energy<em>. Keith barely could keep up with her; she went from one arcade game to another, almost as if she was determined to play each game at least once. At this rate, she would have no trouble meeting her goal.

Keith played the games with her, but after an hour and a half he was exhausted. He had been so upset over the fight with his aunt he hadn't bothered to get more pills, and without their help he was having an extremely hard time keeping staying awake. Plus, worst of all, the light-headed feeling he had woken up to had transformed into a headache. And the sounds of loud games and kids screaming only intensified it.

He followed Natalie to the next game; a racing one. Keith could tell this was her favorite kind of game by how excited she got. "Aren't you playing?" she asked Keith, who had leaned up against the game. While she waited for him to answer, she put two tokens into the machine.

"No," said Keith, rubbing his temple with his thumb. "I'll pass on this one."

"What? Why not?" she asked, looking at him worriedly. "Are you okay?'

Keith gave her a half nod. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just have a headache and playing the games is starting to make it worse."

"Oh," said Natalie, frowning. "Do you want to go? I can take you back home."

Shaking his head, Keith said, "No, partner, we're staying here until you get fifteen-hundred tickets to get that huge stuffed animal you've been eyeing."

At this, Natalie's eyes drifted toward the front of the room where all of the toys were displayed. Hanging on the wall was a huge stuffed dog—it had to be bigger than Natalie. She turned back toward him. "I _only_ need seven hundred more tickets."

"Piece of cake."

An hour later, Keith followed Natalie to her car as she carried a huge stuffed animal dog in her arms.

* * *

><p>"What should we name him?" asked Natalie. She was staring at her stuffed dog, who was sitting next to Keith in their booth at The Pancake Hut. He had his own coffee cup in front of him and napkin placed neatly over his chest like a bib.<p>

Keith bit his lip as he stared at the dog. "Hmm…I dunno. This is a very important question that needs a lot of consideration."

"Agreed," said Natalie. "We need to talk and deliberate."

Keith chuckled as he read over the dinner menu. He had actually never tried anything but Mystery Pie at the diner; however, he hadn't eaten anything all day and was starving.

Julie came over a few minutes later to take their orders and once she had left Natalie asked, "Do you still have a headache?"

"Yeah," admitted Keith. He didn't tell her that it felt like it was getting worse.

"Maybe you should leave early tonight and go home. Get some sleep."

The last thing Keith wanted to do was go back to his aunt's, but his head was starting to hurt so bad he actually agreed with her. "I might do that," he said, looking into her eyes. "I don't want to ditch you, though."

"Don't be stupid," she said. "Seriously."

Keith gave a soft chuckle. "I promise I won't leave until we have a name for our new friend, okay?"

Natalie giggled, excitement in her eyes as she stared at her prize. "Deal."

Their food arrived ten minutes later and Keith was surprised how good it was. It didn't rival the Mystery Pie by any means, but it was still the best diner meal he had ever had.

After they ate their dinner, Keith grabbed two napkins and placed one in front of Natalie and himself. "It's time to take a few minutes and come up with a list of potential names for our friend." He nodded towards the dog.

Natalie looked excited. "You and your lists. Geez. Can't we like talk about it?"

"No, partner," said Keith, rolling his eyes. "It's more fun this way. More official."

"If you say so," she sighed, but her eyes still sparkled with excitement.

While they were both working on their lists, Natalie hesitantly spoke up, her voice quiet and timid, "Hey, so can I ask why you and your aunt got in a fight in the first place?"

Keith finished writing a name down before he looked up at Natalie. "She found something in my room that freaked her out."

Natalie's eyes got wide. "Like what?" she asked slowly.

Keith bit his lip, debating if he should tell her or not. He hated lying to her about so much, he could at least tell her this. "Uh, caffeine pills."

If possible, Natalie's eyes got wider. "Caffeine pills? Why are you taking those?"

Keith rolled his eyes again. "Seriously, why is that the first thing people ask? To stay _awake_."

"Oh, right," muttered Natalie. "Stupid question." Keith nodded in agreement, but didn't say anything back. He didn't really know what to say. Natalie spoke up after a few seconds. "So…" she started hesitantly, "I remember you said you didn't like to sleep. Why is that?"

Keith felt himself subconsciously tense at her question. He had forgot Natalie didn't know why he didn't like to sleep. "I kind of have…nightmares," he admitted, embarrassed.

"Oh," said Natalie. "I'm sorry." She sounded so sincere and Keith didn't regret telling her for one minute. "A-are they bad?"

He shrugged. "Kind of."

"Have you talked to someone about them? Maybe they could help?"

"No," said Keith quickly. "I haven't. And I'm really not ready to talk right now."

Natalie nodded. "I understand." Keith grinned at her and she added, "If you ever need anything let me know, k?"

"Promise," said Keith. And the strange thing? He really _did_.

* * *

><p>Keith woke up to someone shaking his shoulder. It couldn't have been later than eleven. Slowly, he sat up. Somehow he had managed to fall asleep while working on his list and ended using the stuffed animal as a pillow.<p>

Natalie was standing next to him with a concerned look at her face. "I'm taking you home." It wasn't a question, but a demand.

"Okay," he agreed. As much as he didn't want to go to his aunt's, his head was killing him and at this point the only thing he wanted to do was try to sleep it away. He would even risk a nightmare.

During the short drive to his aunt's, Keith leaned his head against the cold glass of the car window, which was soothing on his head. When Natalie parked in the driveway, she turned to face him, concern shining in her eyes. "Get some sleep, okay?" she said. "And take something for your headache."

"I will."

As he unbuckled his seatbelt, Natalie quickly said, "Oh! I can't pick you up tomorrow—or any morning this week—I have swim practice. Big swim meet Friday, but I'll see you in chemistry tomorrow."

"Okay. Thanks for dropping me off," said Keith. He glanced to the backseat where the stuffed animal was now. "Sorry we didn't get to pick a name for him."

"There's time for that. Just get better."

"I'll try," he said. "See you tomorrow."

Keith walked to the side of his aunt's house and snuck into his bedroom through his window. It took him less than five minutes to change into his pajamas and fall into bed with Bailey curled up beside him.

* * *

><p>"Oh my god," said Natalie as soon as Keith arrived in their chemistry class and sat down on the stool at their lab table. "You look <em>horrible<em>."

"Geez, thanks, partner. That's really what I want to hear," mumbled Keith. He wasn't surprised Natalie had commented on how bad he looked; he knew he looked bad. He had seen himself in the mirror. Seen the dark bags under his eyes, his skin an unnatural pale.

"Why are you even here?" she asked. "You're obviously sick."

"I'm not sick," he argued. "I just have a really bad headache. I don't feel that bad." This was partly true. He did feel bad, but not sick enough to skip school. The headache he had yesterday hadn't gone away, but instead had increased. But other than his headache, he wasn't throwing up or anything so he took that as a good sign. Although, he_ had_ slept almost six hours, something he hadn't been able to do without a nightmare interrupting him in two months. Maybe that was a sign he was getting sick.

Natalie stared at him. "Maybe you have a migraine. I get them a lot." She opened her backpack and started rummaging through it. "I might have some Excedrin in here…" A few seconds later, she retrieved a clear green bottle. "Want one?"

Keith would've nodded if moving his head didn't hurt so much. "Yeah, please."

She handed him two pills and Keith grabbed his water bottle from his backpack. "Thanks," he said after he swallowed the pills. Natalie gave him a soft smile in return.

Chemistry felt like it dragged on forever. The pills weren't working or were taking longer to take affect. His head starting hurting so much he couldn't focus and Natalie basically had to do the entire lab without him. He started to wonder if he shouldn't have come to school.

When class ended, Natalie walked out with him. Before they went their separate ways she grabbed his arm to gently stop him. "Hey, if you start to feel any worse, please go home."

"Right," said Keith. That was not going to happen. Not if he could help it. First, he'd have to call his aunt if he wanted to leave school. And they hadn't talked since their fight, which would make it incredibly awkward. Second, he didn't like to be alone if he didn't have to. When he was alone, he thought about his parents. He always thought about his parents, but when he was at school he didn't think of them as much. And the pain wasn't as bad.

"I'm serious, Keith," stressed Natalie. "You really don't look good. I know you say it's just a headache, but you're not acting like yourself." She finally let go of his arm. And then something like understanding crossed her face. "If you don't want to go to the nurse and call Melissa, I'll drive you. If, you know, you and your aunt aren't speaking."

Keith was surprised she figured out part of why he was so determined to not leave. "Thanks, partner," he said. "I'll remember that." This response seemed to appease Natalie because she smiled at him before running down the hall to her next class.

* * *

><p>Keith hadn't expected to take Natalie up on her offer, but two classes later, his headache had gotten worse and was making him feel nauseous. All Keith wanted to do was sleep.<p>

Since it was lunchtime, he walked into the cafeteria to find Natalie instead of texting her. She was eating at the same table she had been on his first day.

When he neared the table, Brooke saw him and exclaimed, "Hey, Keith!" which caused Natalie to turn around and look at him.

"Hey, Brooke," said Keith softly. Then he turned to Natalie, ignoring Raff who was glaring at him. "Do you think I could take you up on that offer?"

Natalie didn't hesitate. "Of course! Let me just grab my stuff." She started packing up her uneaten lunch. Keith felt bad since she probably wouldn't have enough time to finish eating after she dropped him off.

"Where are you going?" asked Raff.

Natalie didn't even bother to look at him. "Driving Keith home. I probably won't get back until after lunch but I'll see you later, okay?"

"You're suppose to eat lunch with me."

"We eat lunch together everyday. One day won't kill you," said Natalie, stuffing her lunch into her backpack.

Her response angered Raff. "I don't like you going out with _him_."

Natalie sighed, irritated. "Look, Raff, I'm sorry, but I have to help Keith out. I'll see you later."

Raff opened his mouth to retort, but Natalie quickly turned away from him and stood up, saying a rushed goodbye to everyone before walking away. Keith followed behind her.

* * *

><p>During the fifteen-minute drive to his aunt's, Keith managed to fall asleep. "I think you're sick," said Natalie softly as he woke up.<p>

"I just have a headache," said Keith stubbornly, even though he didn't believe it himself. He was starting to think he _was_ coming down with something. Natalie rolled her eyes. Keith gave her a tiny, forced smile as he got out of the car. "Thanks for the ride."

"No problem," said Natalie. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Okay." He closed the door and walked up his driveway, pulling his coat tighter against him as the wind blew, crisp and chilly against his skin. It wasn't until he was at his front door did he realize he was so out of it he had left his backpack his Natalie's car. He turned around, hoping Natalie hadn't driven away already, to see her standing there, backpack in hand.

"You forgot this," she said, handing his backpack to him.

"Thanks," he mumbled, unzipping his backpack to retrieve his keys.

As he opened the front door, Natalie muttered, "I think I'm going to make sure you make it to your room safely."

Keith didn't even bother to argue. As soon as they got into his room, he fell limply onto his bed. Natalie hovered by him. "Do you need anything? Water? Medicine?"

"No," said Keith, resting his arms across his forehead. "I think I just need to sleep."

"Okay," answered Natalie, although she didn't seem convinced. "Are you—" She was interrupted by the front door slamming open and heavy footsteps echoing upstairs. "Is that Jake?"

Keith groaned. "Unfortunately." He sat up in bed, heading throbbing. "If you don't mind, I would recommend using my window as an exit."

Natalie was about to respond, when Keith's door suddenly flung open, ricocheting so hard against the wall she wondered if the wall would be dented. "What the hell is going on here?" growled Jake, causing Natalie to tense in fear.

"Get out of my room," demanded Keith.

Jake looked back and forth between Natalie and Keith. "What is this? Some kind of conspiracy? Skipping school and messing arou—"

"Shut up!" screamed Keith, causing his head to throb and his vision to blur. "Get the hell out of my room!"

Jake stomped over to Keith, grabbed his arm, and lifted him off his bed. "You're coming with me," spat Jake. "You," he growled, nodding towards Natalie, "Stay here." Jake dragged Keith out of his room, who was let go so suddenly, he stumbled into a corner. Which wasn't a good thing as he was easily cornered by Jake. "What the hell is going on?"

"Nothing," spat Keith.

Jake rolled his eyes. "That didn't look like nothing. You're suppose to be in school, but instead I find you here with a girl in your room."

"God, _chill out_."

Jake's fists clenched and his face got red. "Don't you dare tell me to chill out again or I swear you will regret it." Keith stayed silent. "Now, tell me what you were doing." His voice was strangely calm and steady.

"We weren't doing anything!"

"You are such a fucking little liar!" screamed Jake, causing Keith to flinch. Jake saw it, because a satisfied smirk crossed his face.

"I'm not—"

"DO NOT TALK TO ME UNLESS I TELL YOU TO!"

Keith snapped his mouth shut and froze, not daring to speak again. "Everything that comes out of your stupid mouth is a fucking lie. You make me sick." Keith hated to admit it, but he was too terrified at what Jake's reaction would be to speak. "I knew it. All that ever comes out of your mouth is a lie. Tell me," he growled. "What. Were. You. Doing?"

"None of your business," hissed Keith. "You don't live here, you aren't my aunt, so I don't have to tell you _anything_."

At this, Keith tried push past him, but Jake expected it and grasped Keith's left shoulder tightly and slammed him back into the wall. "You don't leave until I say we're done. And we have _a lot_ more to discuss."

"Let go of me," hissed Keith, but Jake's grip didn't budge. If anything, he only managed to grip tighter. Keith had to admit, he was terrified. He stayed silent.

"I will not have you sleeping around with some girl and getting her pregnant."

"This is bullshit," growled Keith. "I don't have to listen to you." As soon as the words left Keith's mouth, he regretted it. They had only managed to infuriate Jake more. Keith saw it coming before it happened. Jake's left hand lifted in the air and connected with Keith's cheek; a sharp piercing sound of skin contacting with skin echoed in the basement.

Keith couldn't prevent the pained moan that escaped his lips. "Do you understand?" asked Jake, sounding quite proud of himself. "You better do as I say, because I'm not scared of knocking some more sense into you." Jake leaned closer to Keith, who was breathing heavily. He was trying to hide his fear, but it was beginning to be difficult. "Remember, boy, I could do things that could really _really _fuck you up. Got it?" When Keith didn't respond, he squeezed Keith's shoulder, slamming him into the wall again. "GOT IT?"

"Got it," whispered Keith venomously. "Now get the fuck away from me."

* * *

><p>As soon as Keith stumbled into his room, Natalie practically threw herself on him. "Oh my god. Are you okay?" she asked, clinging to his shirt. She sniffed like she was trying hard not to cry. Or she was already crying. Keith didn't know. He felt too ashamed to look at her.<p>

"Fine," said Keith as he fell onto his bed.

Natalie stood next to him. Keith finally looked at her. "He-he slapped you." This was not a question.

"Yeah," admitted Keith. There was no point in denying this; she_ had_ been in the other room. He was positive she had heard Jake yelling and slapping him. "I'm okay."

Natalie bit her lip and then without saying anything walked into his bathroom. She returned a minute later with a wet washcloth. "I figure you probably don't want to go upstairs and get ice…so this is what I came up with." Gently, she placed the washcloth on his cheek.

"Thanks."

"Are-are you going to tell Melissa?" she asked hesitantly.

"No," said Keith quickly. "Definitely not."

Natalie looked upset at his answer, but not surprised. "Is that the first time he's done that?"

"Kinda," mumbled Keith. He really didn't want to be talking right now. Especially about this. His head hurt even more after it had been slammed into the wall and he just wanted to sleep. But he knew how much it must've freaked Natalie to hear the confrontation with Jake and thought he should offer some explanation. Plus, he had to make sure she didn't tell anyone.

"Kinda?" she gently prompted.

"Yeah, it's just I mean…I don't know, but it's fine. That's the first time—and probably last—he's slapped me. Just promise me you won't tell anyone." When she didn't responded he said, voice a little frantic, "Please, Natalie, I really don't—"

Natalie interrupted him. "Don't you think Melissa would want to know? That Jake is-is hurting you."

"It doesn't happen all the time. It was just this once," he lied. "And right now? After what happened yesterday? I really don't want to get in a fight about Jake. I just—I don't want to bother her with this crap. I can handle it. Please, promise me you won't tell anyone."

Natalie looked torn. Finally she said, her voice timid, "O-okay, I promise. But you have to promise me something."

"What?" asked Keith hesitantly.

"That if it gets worse, you tell me."

Keith sighed. He felt exhausted and just wanted to sleep; he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. "Okay, fine."

She gave him a small smile. "Well, I better go. You look like you're about to pass out. Unless…do you want me to stay?"

Keith appreciated the request more than he would ever admit. "No, it's okay. I'll be fine."

Natalie didn't look convinced. "If you say so. Call me if you need anything. And feel better." She waited until he nodded before heading toward his window.

Once Natalie was gone, Keith changed into his pajamas before crawling under his covers. But it was a long time before he fell asleep. His thoughts were on Jake and he wondered if he was making a terrible mistake, not telling his aunt what Jake had done. The problem? He was scared. Scared that when he told her and she'd have to choose between the two of them, she'd choose Jake.

* * *

><p>Dinner that night was awkward. It was the first time Keith had seen his aunt since their fight and he didn't know how to act or even what to say. So he stayed quiet. To make matters worse, Jake was still over. He kept winking at Keith and a smirk was permanently on his face.<p>

It made Keith sick to know that Jake knew he wasn't going to tell Melissa what had happened between them. Keith hated it because Jake had a strange power over him and he felt trapped. What made it worse was Jake knew he had a power over him. Keith wished with all he had that he could just tell his aunt right now. Scream that Jake hit him, but his voice was stuck in his throat and all he could do was sit there.

Melissa ranted to Jake about one of her clients as they ate. Keith hand never asked his aunt what she did for a living, but he had a general idea that she co-owned a financial company.

It wasn't until Keith coughed (it had been worse since he had woken up from his nap) did Melissa cut off her rant and look at him. As soon as she got a good look at him, though, her eyes widened and she said, "What happened to your cheek?"

"What?" Keith mumbled.

"Your right cheek," said Melissa, leaning towards him to get a better look. "It's red."

Keith's eyes shot to Jake for a split second before glancing back to his aunt. "Oh, that," he started, voice soft. "Uh…I got hit in the face with a basketball in gym today. It's nothing."

Melissa looked like she wanted to question him more, but held her tongue. "I want you to ice it after dinner, okay?"

"Sure." He shrugged.

Melissa seemed satisfied and turned back to Jake to continue their conversation. It wasn't until she went to get a second serving of soup did she notice Keith's bowl was still full. "Do you not like it?" she asked.

"No, it's good," promised Keith, twirling in spoon around his bowl. "I'm just not very hungry is all." Melissa look concerned and it honestly confused Keith. If she didn't want him here why did she always act like she cared?

Jake didn't hesitate to butt in. "See what I mean, Melissa? He doesn't respect anything you do. He yells at you, ignores you, and then won't eat his dinner."

"Jake, _please_," Melissa sighed before turning back to Keith.

"I'm sorry," said Keith. "I'll eat it."

"It's fine," she said, and she sounded like she meant it. "Don't eat it if you're not hungry. Are you feeling okay?"

Keith wasn't feeling okay. Even though he had just woken up from a nap, he didn't feel rested at all. He still had a headache, but now he was coughing and food honestly made him feel kind of nauseous. "I'm just tired," he lied. "Can I go to bed?"

"Of course," said Melissa, sounding a little surprised. "Let me know if you need anything."

Keith stood up and placed his still full bowl of soup by the sink. He was about to go down the stairs to his room when Melissa stopped him. "I want to talk about what happened on Sunday," she whispered this so Jake couldn't here. "I don't like us not talking, and I'm worried you misunderstood what I said."

"Do we have to do this now?" interjected Keith. "I really just want to go to bed. I'm tired."

An upset look crossed Melissa's face. "Okay, but tomorrow, all right? We really need to talk."

"Yeah, sure."

As he walked to his room, Keith thought about his aunt and why he was so determined to not talk to her. Granted, he didn't feel well and wasn't in the mood for a talk, but he could've done it. Gotten it over with. But there was something deep inside of him that was terrified. Sure, his aunt said he misunderstood her. But what if he hadn't? What if she really didn't want him? What if she was going to tell him it wasn't working out and they needed to find him another place to live? Where would he go? Foster care? He had nowhere else to go. He had no other family to take him.

* * *

><p>The first thing Keith thought when he woke up was, <em>I'm going to throw up<em>. He bolted out of bed and fell in front of his toilet just in time before he starting emptying the contents of his stomach. And he couldn't stop.

By the time his stomach calmed down, he felt exhausted and lied on the cold title of his bathroom. He didn't trust his stomach enough to get back into bed. Bailey walked hesitantly over to him. "I'm okay," croaked Keith. Bailey didn't look convinced and stared at Keith with a very concerned look for a dog.

Keith stared at Bailey until he felt his eyes slip closed. His eyes weren't closed for more than a few minutes when he heard his aunt's high heels echoing in the kitchen.

As much as he didn't want to get up, he knew he had to; he had to tell Melissa he was sick. Standing up made him feel like he was going to be sick again, so he took it slowly as he made his way upstairs.

Melissa jumped when Keith walked in the kitchen. "Keith! You're still here. I thought you had left. You're usually gone by—" She was rambling, but stopped when she turned around to looked at him. "Sweetie? Is something wrong?"

"I've been throwing up," he mumbled, leaning against the wall. He felt like he had no strength. "I don't feel well." He felt like he was going to throw up again.

Melissa's whole face turned to one of concern and she quickly walked over to him. "Honey," she started, "why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?" She felt his forehead for a fever.

He shrugged. "I dunno." He swallowed thickly and wrapped his arm around his stomach before he moaned pitifully, "I'm gonna throw up again." Before Melissa could say anything, he was running across the kitchen and into the bathroom. He didn't even have time to slam the door before he was throwing up into the toilet.

Melissa hovered by the door, nervous. When he was done throwing up, Keith shakily stood up. Melissa was instantly at his side. "You're okay," she soothed, leading him out of the bathroom. "Here, you look like you need to lie down. Go back to bed and I'll see if I can find medicine."

"Okay."

Melissa entered his bedroom a few minutes later with a bottle of water and some pills. She sat down on his bed. "I don't have much medicine, I'll pick some up later. I promise."

"Okay," said Keith, sitting up in bed.

"How long have you been feeling sick?" she asked.

He took the pills and water from her. "I dunno. I started feeling weird Sunday and I had a really bad headache yesterday."

Melissa frowned. "I wish you would've told me. "

"I didn't really think I was getting sick," he stressed. "I just thought I had a really bad headache."

Melissa signed. "I'll call your school and tell them you're not coming in today. Just try and get some rest, all right? I'll call you later to check up."

"Uh huh."

"You don't want me to stay, do you?"

"No!" said Keith quickly. "No, you don't need to skip work just because of me. I'll be fine. Promise."

Melissa didn't look convinced, but stood up anyway. "Feel better, honey," she said before walking out of the room. "Call me if you need anything."

After Melissa left, Keith dozed for a while, but then he had to jump out of bed and run to the bathroom to throw up again.

* * *

><p>Keith woke to a hand on his forehead. He blinked awake to see his aunt sitting on his bed. "Hi," she said when his eyes opened.<p>

"What's going on?" mumbled Keith. He felt disoriented and groggy. He rolled onto his back; his t-shirt was sticking to him. He felt too hot, even though he was shaking with the chills. "Why are you home?" he asked thickly. "Is it five already?"

"No, it's only noon. I worried about you all morning," said Melissa, her voice thick with concern. "I couldn't get any work done, so I decided to work from home so I can be here with you."

"'M fine," muttered Keith. This was a huge lie. He felt awful. Definitely worse than he had this morning. He hadn't been able to sleep much; he felt like he was throwing up at least once every half hour. And to top it all off, not only did his head still hurt, but his cough was getting worse. "You didn't need to leave work 'cause of me."

Melissa didn't look convinced. "Did you throw up again while I was gone?"

"Yeah," said Keith, nonchalantly. "Lots of times."

"I'm sorry," frowned Melissa. "I called your school this morning to tell them you were sick and they said you were absent for your last two classes yesterday. Is that true?"

_Oh, shit_, thought Keith. _Busted_. "Sorry," was all he said. He had absolutely no energy to argue.

"Did you skip because you weren't feeling well?"

Luckily, his aunt didn't seem mad. Only concerned and a little upset. "I had a really bad headache, so Natalie drove me here during lunch." He really wanted to go back to sleep. Whenever he was awake, he ended up throwing up and he was really starting to feel nauseous.

"You should have called me," stressed Melissa. "I would've picked you up."

"Sorry." He closed his eyes to will his stomach to calm down. But the more time passed, the more likely it seemed like he was going to throw up.

"Next time, promise me you'll tell me when you aren't feeling well. Now it makes sense why you didn't eat your dinner last night…." she trailed off. She lifted a plastic bag that was so full it looked like it was about to rip. "I stopped at Walgreens on my way home from work and got you some stuff. I've never had to take care of a sick teenager before so I didn't know what to get." She opened the bag and Keith stared at her with a fevered gaze. "I got a thermometer, some different varieties of medicine, cough drops, tea, and lots of Gatorade." She nodded towards his nightstand where she had set a cold, unopened bottle of grape Gatorade.

"Thanks," said Keith thickly. He was really thirsty but the thought of sitting up made him more nauseous.

"We should probably take your temperature."

Keith groaned and considered this. He really didn't want to move. "I feel like I'm going to throw up again."

"Okay, um…here we'll do this quickly. Just let me know if you're going to be sick." Melissa bit her lip and then rummaged through the bag until she found the thermometer. While she read the directions, Keith just stared at her. She handed him the thermometer, which he stuck under his tongue and a few minutes later the device beeped and Melissa grabbed it before Keith could take it out of his mouth. "Hundred and two. Definitely a fever. We'll have to monitor it." Keith stared at her blankly. "Can you sit up and drink some Gatorade and take some medicine?"

He _really _didn't want to, but Melissa had gone through the trouble of buying practically the whole store out of medicine. Slowly, he sat up, stomach twisting. Melissa explained the various types of medicine she had bought and he picked the one that best fit his symptoms. Shakily, he grabbed the Gatorade and took his pill. As soon as he took the medicine, though, he stomach protested and he clamped his mouth shut and squeezed his eyes. _Don't throw up. Don't. Throw. Up,_ he thought. His silent mantra was to no avail, because he suddenly he leaned forward, arm wrapped around his stomach and choked out, "I'm gonna be sick." His aunt thrust a trashcan in front of him just in time.

"It's okay, it's okay," soothed Melissa, rubbing circles on his back comfortably as he was sick.

When he was done, he placed his trashcan on the floor and fell onto his bed. "Do you want to try and take your medicine again? I know it made you sick, but…I don't know…"

"No," said Keith. "I don't want to throw up again."

"We'll try later. After you take a nap. Do you need anything?"

"I don't know," he moaned. "I just really don't feel well." He couldn't ever remember feeling this sick before. He felt like he was dying.

"I know," sighed Melissa. She looked a bit frantic, like she had no idea what to do next. "What should I do?" she finally asked. "What would your mom have done?"

"Everything you are," he admitted. And it was true.

"Okay," said Melissa, looking a little more confident. "You take a nap. I'll be in my office. Are you sure you don't need anything?"

"Yes," lied Keith. He _did _need something. But his aunt couldn't get him want he wanted. Right now, what he wanted—needed—more than anything?

His mom.

* * *

><p>On Wednesday, Keith didn't feel any better. If anything, he felt worse. He still had problems keeping anything down. He almost always threw up after he ate anything. The only substance his stomach seemed to be able to handle was small sips of Gatorade and crackers. His temperature wasn't going down either, no matter how much medicine and cold compresses his aunt gave him.<p>

Melissa stayed home from work Wednesday, too. And she continued to check on Keith every hour or so. Keith could tell she was worried he wasn't getting better, especially since he only seemed to be getting worse. He had woken up that morning with a new symptom: a sore throat.

He was glad she stayed home, even if he would never admit it out loud. He barley had enough energy to make it to the bathroom, let alone to try and get medicine and food.

Keith spent most of the day sleeping. One thing he was glad about was he didn't have any nightmares, even though all he did was sleep. He wondered why. He thought maybe it was because his body was so sick and exhausted. He, of course, expected them to come back when he got better.

That night, though, around midnight, Keith to a severe sore throat. The pain had almost tripled as he slept. He tried not to swallow that much, his throat hurt so bad. When he swallowed the pain radiated to his ears. He knew there was no way he would be able to go back to sleep without some cough drops. But when he went to grab some more, they were gone.

He was feeling so sick he didn't even think twice about waking up his aunt. Melissa opened her door a few seconds after he had knocked. "Keith?" she asked sleepily. "What's wrong?"

"I ran out of cough drops and my throat really hurts," he croaked, wincing at how much talking hurt his throat. "And I feel like I'm going to throw up again," he weakly added. He hadn't thought of mentioning this, but decided it was best to give her some type of warning.

"I have more in the kitchen," said Melissa frantically, wide awake now. "Here, let's go downstairs." Gently, Melissa guided Keith down the stairs and to the couch in the living room where he fell limply against the pillows.

Bailey jumped onto the couch, crawling over Keith so he could rest right next to him. He kissed Keith a few times, looking quite concerned for a dog, before he rested his head on Keith's arm and closed his eyes.

With a fevered gaze, Keith stared at Bailey until Melissa kneeled to his level with water, medicine, and cough drops. "Think you can take the medicine first? Then you can have the cough drops."

Keith did so, the ice water feeling good on his burning throat. He had only just swallowed the pills, when his stomach started protesting. Shakily, he placed the cup on the coffee table and took in a deep breath, praying his stomach would settle. "I'm gonna be sick," moaned Keith, standing up so fast, Bailey almost flew off the couch.

Keith ran into the bathroom to throw up. Throwing up was bad enough, but throwing up with a severe sore throat was just pure hell. He felt like his throat was tearing.

When he was done, he shakily stood up, feeling light-headed. As soon as he walked out, Melissa was there, guiding him to the kitchen table where he proceeded to take his temperature. "A hundred and three point five," she whispered. She glanced at Keith. "Honey, you're not going to like this but you need to go to the emergency room. I-I don't know what to do anymore. It's been two whole days and you keep throwing up. You barley keep any liquid or medicine down…and your temperature…"

"What? No," said Keith. "I'm fine. I don't need to go to the emergency room."

"I'm at a loss here, sweetie. I may be freaking out over nothing, but I'm not going to risk it." She glanced Keith over for a few seconds. He had rested his head on the table and was staring at her through a fevered gaze. "I'm going to go get you some shoes and a coat. Then we're going," she said. Keith didn't even bother to argue.

* * *

><p>Less than an hour later, Keith was lying on a hospital bed, as him and his aunt waited for the doctor to arrive. A tall, thin man with spiky brown hair entered the room five minutes later. "I'm Dr. Martin," said the man. "Looks like someone is a bit under the weather," he said, walking over to Keith. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked this as he read over the form Melissa had filled out while they had been in the waiting room.<p>

"I'm not sure," began Melissa, as Dr. Martin started checking Keith over. "He said he started feeling weird Sunday, and Monday he had a headache. He's been running a temperature and throwing up since Tuesday morning. I don't know what to do so I decided to bring him in. He can't keep anything down, really. When we left, he was running a temperature of a hundred and three and is now complaining of a severe sore throat."

Dr. Martin was quiet as he finished giving a check up. When he was done he said, "Keith definitely has the flu. Unfortunately, it looks like he's just unlucky and got it worse than we normally see. My main concern is how dehydrated he is." Dr. Martin wrote something down on his notebook then finished, "I'll have one of my nurses start him on a saline drip to get rehydrated, and prescribe him some antibiotics and anti nausea medication. He should be able to go home in a few hours."

* * *

><p>Keith slept, only waking up when he allowed to leave the emergency room. He was half asleep as Melissa helped him off the bed, into his coat, and to her car. He slept the whole way back.<p>

"You feel any better?" asked Melissa as Keith got into his bed.

"Yeah, I do, actually," said Keith.

"That's great to hear," she said. "I brought you down some Gatorade."

"Thanks," he said. His aunt sat down on his bed, looking a bit nervous. Like she wanted to talk about something. "What's up?" he mumbled.

Melissa bit her lip. "I know it's really late and you want to sleep and don't feel good, but I really need to talk to you."

"Okay," he whispered.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this all week, but things came up. I just want you to know, Keith, that what I said during our fight. I didn't mean it—everything just came out wrong. I was worried and upset and I shouldn't have yelled at you. I didn't mean I didn't—don't—want you, what I meant was I never wanted you to have to go throw this pain and I don't know how to take care of you like your mother did. This is all so new to me and I feel so lost and just want you to be happy, but you've gone through so much I worry that you never will be." She stopped to take a deep breath before saying, her voice stressing each word, "But if there's _one_ thing I need you to know is that I _want _you."

"Okay," breathed Keith. He hadn't meant to ask this out loud, but everything was so unexpected and he couldn't stop himself. He wanted to tell her that he tried to be happy, he really did. But he was just in too much pain and the guilt he felt for his parents' death took over everything. And sometimes it was all he could think about. Most days he didn't feel like he deserved to be happy, not for what he had done.

"I never want you to doubt that, okay? I hated thinking that you thought you weren't welcome here. I hated thinking that."

"Thanks," he whispered. The look at his aunt's face, though, indicated this conversation wasn't over. "Is there something else?"

If possible, she seemed more nervous. "While you were sleeping at the hospital I found Dr. Martin and talked to him."

"About what?"

"I told him about the caffeine pills and how you don't sleep. He thinks those may have been major reasons why you got sick. The pills and lack of sleep have lowered your immune system."

Keith couldn't believe his luck. Why did he have to get sick right after Melissa had found his pills? "Oh."

"I don't want to make you do things you aren't comfortable with, but I have to make you do this. Dr. Martin gave me a list of counselors you can talk to. I really think it's time you talk to someone, Keith. You're not getting better."

Keith sat up in his bed a little. "I don't need to talk to anyone," he stressed, almost a little frantic. "I'm fine. I go to school; I do my homework. I—"

"Sweetie, that's not living. You do those things because you have to. You don't seem to have any hobbies and you haven't even once tried to drive again because you're too scared. You can't sleep because you have nightmares, which makes you sick. You need to talk to someone. If you don't do it nothing is ever going to get better. You're just going to go about your life with all this pain and with no way to know how to deal with it." She sniffed and then added, "I'm trying here, Keith, and I hope this helps. I just want to get this right."

Keith opened his mouth to argue, but he could tell nothing would stop his aunt from making him talk to someone. "Fine," he said after a moment of silence. "I'll go."

* * *

><p>By Friday night, Keith was feeling much better. He still didn't feel good enough to get out of bed, but he was able to keep down food and stay awake longer. He had been watching a marathon of CSI most of the day and a new episode was about to come on when someone tapped on his window.<p>

Startled, he looked up to see Natalie staring into his room. When she caught his gaze she waved, and then slid open his window. She crawled through before leaning through the window pull in the huge stuffed animal dog she had won at the arcade. "Hi," she said breathlessly, holding on tightly to the dog.

"Hi, partner," said Keith. "What are you doing here? What is Murphy doing here?" They had finally named their friend today through a string of text messages while Natalie was in her math class.

"I was bored," she whined. "So I thought I should bring him over to keep you company." She walked over to his bed. "Especially since you won't be at school next week."

Christmas break started next Wednesday, so Melissa had told him he was just going to stay home and rest. "You are so jealous," he joked.

Natalie flopped onto his bed. "You know me too well." She pulled the covers back and got in. Keith wondered when they had gotten so comfortable with each other and wondered if it was normal. "So…have you...has Jake bothered you lately?"

"No," said Keith quickly. "I haven't seen him since Monday. He doesn't want to get sick. Which," he started, "you do realize I may be contagious?"

"I don't care," said Natalie. "And that's good. He really freaked me out."

"Yeah," agreed Keith quietly. "I'm okay."

"So, what are you watching?" she asked casually, changing topics.

Keith faced the television. "CSI marathon."

"Awesome! I love CSI!"

They watched CSI for the next few hours, but soon Keith was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. And for some reason, Natalie was trailing her fingers down his arm, which was only lulling him more to sleep.

He couldn't keep his eyes open any longer and let the sound of the television and Natalie's touch sooth him to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I really hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm actually kind of concerned about it! I had a hard time with it. I apologize for the delay and will try to update as soon as possible. If you get bored while you wait for the next chapter, check out my profile for a new Keith one-shot I posted called _What I've Done_._

_Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!_


	12. Falling For You

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You guys rock! Without further ado, here's chapter 12; I had a blast writing it and hope you enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twelve: Falling For You<strong>

"Natalie! Natalie, stop!" called Raff, but Natalie ignored him and continued walking down the school hallway; she hoped Raff would lose her amongst the other students.

Unfortunately, he didn't. A few seconds later, he grabbed her upper arm—hard—and spun her around to face him. "_What_?"

"Why didn't you stop when I called you?"

Natalie knew it was stupid to lie and act like she hadn't heard him; he had been screaming too loud for that. "Because I have swim practice. I don't want to be late."

"Bullshit," growled Raff. "Practice doesn't start for another twenty minutes. I know it doesn't take you that long to get ready."

Natalie sighed, defeated. She figured she better just get their fight over with. She knew Raff was going to yell at her for taking Keith home during lunch. She had hoped she wouldn't see him the rest of the day. "What do you want?"

"You're going to stop hanging out with that freak. You need to tell him to _stay away_ from you. Understand?"

"What?" she breathed. "Are you referring to Keith?" She tried to wiggle her arm out of his tight grip, but he only held on tighter.

Raff rolled his eyes. "Duh."

Anger filled Natalie. "You can't dictate who I can and can't hang out with," she hissed. "That's not how relationships work."

"I don't care how you think relationships work, Natalie." He was staring right into her eyes and she was frozen in place, his look was _that_ intense. "I'm the one who gets to dictate how _our_ relationship works, and when I see you hanging out with a guy I don't like, you listen to me and stop hanging out with him."

"What's your problem with, Keith?" she asked, honestly confused. "What has he done to you? He's barley ever around." She didn't think she needed to mention she hung out with Keith almost six hours every night. That was information Raff _definitely _didn't need to know.

"Because I don't like how he looks at my girlfriend," said Raff.

"What?" breathed Natalie. "How he looks at me? What are you talking about?"

"God, Natalie," said Raff, sounding upset and annoyed. "How stupid are you? Can't you tell he likes you?"

"Keith does _not _like me. We're just friends. I promise," said Natalie, but even she didn't think she had sounded sincere. Keith _had_ kissed her once. That had to mean he had some feelings for her. Right? But even if he did, it didn't mean anything because Keith had told her he wasn't looking to be in a relationship. "And you know what? I don't think Keith is entirely the problem here. I think you have a problem with me talking to _any _guy." Ever since she and Raff had started dating, he got jealous at any guy who so much as looked at her. At first she had thought it was cute and a little charming, but now it was just annoying.

"You know what, Natalie?" whispered Raff, stepping closer to her so their foreheads were almost touching. Natalie sucked in her breath as he continued talking in the same haunting voice. "I wouldn't talk to me like that. I don't know if you realize it, but I could break up with you. Right now. And then what would you do? You'd be alone. No one will ever want you. As soon as they see how screwed up you and your family are, they'll leave you." He smirked. "Just think how lucky you are to have someone like me. I'm willing to stay with you, so you should be willing to do things for me too."

Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she stared at Raff. She hated him so much sometimes. She hated him because he knew her fears and he used them against her. And if she wasn't so scared of being alone, of never finding anyone else, of not believing she actually _deserved _someone better, she would break up with him. "Now," started Raff, seeming quite pleased with himself, "as a way to make up for ditching me today, you can come to my house after practice. I know there's one way you can repay me. Sound good?" He finally let go of her arm and backed a few feet away.

Natalie wiped the tears from her face. "Okay," she whispered, her voice thick with tears. "I'll see you tonight."

She stood there frozen until Raff turned around. When he was finally out of sight, she let out a deep breath she hadn't realized she was holding. As she walked to swim practice, she wondered why Raff terrified her so much. It wasn't until she was opening her gym locker did she realize why.

He had reminded her of Jake.

* * *

><p>That night, Natalie didn't go to the diner. It felt wrong to be there without Keith. She tried to pass time by reading and surfing the Internet, but her mind couldn't stop thinking about him. She kept replaying the scene from earlier today. How she had stood and listened to Jake yell and eventually slap Keith.<p>

And how she hadn't done _anything_.

She wondered if she should break her promise to Keith and _tell someone_ what she had witnessed. Everything was just so confusing and she was so conflicted. Even though Keith had said it had been the first time Jake had slapped him, Natalie wasn't sure she believed him. And _what if_ it happened again? What if next time, Jake did more than just slap Keith? What if Jake actually really _hurt _Keith?

It was four in the morning before Natalie finally decided she couldn't break her promise. But she_ promised_ herself if Jake hurt Keith again, she was telling Melissa.

She just hoped she wasn't making a huge mistake.

* * *

><p>"Everyone, quiet please. I just have a few things to say and then we can eat," rang Coach Tammy's voice in the tiny pizza parlor. It was tradition for Coach Tammy to take her swim team out to get pizza when they won swim meets. "You guys did an excellent job tonight, which led us to victory." Everyone cheered and Coach Tammy waited patiently for every to quiet down before she continued. "I know I can be harsh on you, but you are all great swimmers and I'm lucky to coach such a great team. With that being said, let's celebrate our win! Congrats!"<p>

There was more cheering and clapping as Coach Tammy sat down and everyone began dishing out pizza. Natalie was busy checking her phone to see if Keith had texted her back when she heard Brooke calling her name. "Natalie!"

Her head shot up. "Yeah?"

"You okay?" asked Brooke, giving her a concerned look. "I said your name like four times."

"I'm fine. I was just checking my phone for something." She tossed her cell phone into her purse before turning towards Brooke. "What's up?"

"What kind of pizza do you want?"

"Pepperoni, please," said Natalie, lifting her plate up so Brooke could plop two pieces of pizza on her plate. "Thanks."

Natalie filled herself a cup of Diet Coke before taking a bite of her pizza. It tasted heavenly. It was so greasy, but she didn't care. She didn't get to eat greasy food at home since her mom was a health food freak. So other than the Mystery Pie she got at the diner almost every night with Keith, she didn't eat out much. "How's Keith doing?" asked Brooke as she sprinkled red pepper on her pizza. Brooke loved the stuff. If she could, Natalie was certain Brooke would put it on everything she ate.

"He's feeling a lot better. I'm going to go see him later tonight." Keith didn't know this and she didn't bother to warn him. She wanted to surprise him. Even though Raff had basically 'forbidden' her from hanging with Keith, she wasn't going to listen to him. There was nothing Raff could say or do for her to stop being Keith's friend.

"That's good. I know you've been worried about him this week."

"You do?" asked Natalie. "How?" She hadn't talked to Brooke about Keith at all so was surprised Brooke had noticed.

"Because you've been texting Keith like almost every hour this whole week."

Natalie felt a blush bloom on her face. She couldn't believe Brooke had noticed that. She really hoped Raff hadn't. "Oh." She bit her lip. "I just…he's been bored…."

"I see," said Brooke slowly. They ate their pizza for a few minutes before Brooke asked, strangely hesitant, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Are you and Raff doing okay?" whispered Brooke.

There were some many separate conversations going on, Natalie didn't think Brooke needed to whisper. "I guess," sighed Natalie.

"Oh, okay," said Brooke, taking a bite of her pizza.

"Why do you ask?" wondered Natalie.

"He's seemed kind of mad with you this week," said Brooke nonchalantly.

Natalie took a sip of her soda before replying, voice tired, "Oh, yeah, he's been kind of pissed at me. Ever since I took Keith home during lunch on Monday." She didn't bother to tell Brooke about how Raff demanded Natalie not hang out with Keith anymore.

"Really?" said Brooke. Natalie nodded. "Well, he's probably jealous."

Natalie sighed. "That's what I don't understand, Brooke. Why's he so jealous? Keith doesn't eat lunch with us. I only see him during classes—the only three we have together. I'm always around Raff at school."

"He probably doesn't like the way Keith looks at you."

Natalie eyes got wide. "You noticed that, too?" She wondered if Keith even knew he was looking at Natalie like Raff and Brooke thought he was.

Brooke shrugged. "It's not hard to miss. Why?"

Natalie groaned and leaned against the back of the booth. "Because that's exactly what Raff said. He told me he doesn't like how Keith looks at me. Which I don't understand. Obviously, I must be missing something."

Brooke was silent for a few minutes, trailing her fingers through her still slightly damp hair before she spoke. "Are you and Raff still having problems? Other than the whole Keith thing?"

Natalie rolled her eyes. "Uh, yeah."

"You haven't talked yet?"

Natalie was about to ask why Brooke wondered this, when she remembered their talk they had at the mall a few months ago. "No, we haven't. And I don't really think talking will solve things, remember? I'm not even sure what I would say."

"Have you decided if you want to be with him? Like long term?"

Natalie halted. "Do I _want_ to be with him? I don't know. Do I _need _to? Yes."

"But, Natalie, that doesn't make any sense. I've told you this before, you're going to find a guy who will be 'the one,' but for that to happen you can't settle."

"To you it might not make sense, but to me it does. And what if I don't find anyone else better? I don't want to be alone. Can we please stop talking about this?"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." Natalie went to turn away, thinking the conversation

was over but then Brooke asked something else. "I was just wondering—don't get mad—but do you think you might be falling for Keith?"

"What?!" exclaimed Natalie, voice rising. She clamped her mouth shut and frantically looked around. Luckily, no one had heard her.

"Do you think you might like Keith? Like as in _more _than a friend."

"No!" hissed Natalie. "Of course not. Raff-Raff is my boyfriend. Keith is just a friend. Nothing more."

"You sure about that?"

Natalie nodded, but wouldn't look Brooke in the eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I'm sure."

* * *

><p>"Holy crap!" exclaimed Natalie as another episode of CSI ended. She had come to Keith's almost right after leaving the pizza parlor, only stopping at home to change clothes and grab the stuffed animal dog—Murphy—from her bedroom. It was almost midnight, so she had at been at Keith's around three hours. "That was the craziest ending ever." She waited a few seconds for Keith to give his opinions on the ending like he had done the other two episodes but this time he didn't; Natalie turned to face him. He was on his side, back facing her. By the way his shoulder was rising and falling, she knew he was asleep. She wondered how long ago he had fallen asleep; she had been too absorbed in the episode to notice.<p>

Leaning over him, she stared at him for a few minutes. When she was sure he was asleep for the night she carefully got out from underneath the covers, making sure not to wake him. After putting her shoes on, she grabbed Murphy and set him on Keith's bed. She made sure Keith was covered with enough blankets before she walked to the window and crawled through.

"Goodnight, Keith," she whispered, trees rustling with the breeze, as she closed the window behind her.

As she drove home, she thought about Raff and how even though she had known him much longer, she didn't feel comfortable around him like she did with Keith. Before she had met Keith she had thought she had been comfortable with Raff. Happy even. But now? Now she knew what it _really _was like to be comfortable around someone. And she was _not_ comfortable around Raff. At least, not like she was with Keith. With Raff she always had to make sure she said the right thing, act the right way, and look her best. But with Keith, she didn't have to worry about any of that. Keith didn't care what she said and how honest she was sometimes. He didn't care that she wore sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt that was two sizes too big.

The thing was, she didn't feel as comfortable around _anyone_ like she did with Keith. Even her family. And that made her wonder if maybe, just _maybe _Brooke was right and she_ was _falling for him.

* * *

><p><em>Come to my place after school. We have another quest to accomplish.<em>

Natalie read the text as she walked to her last class of the day. It was Wednesday and Christmas break officially started in less than an hour. Natalie was excited Keith had texted her. She had seen him a few more times since Friday, but only long enough to drop off his homework assignments; she never stayed long. Which was why she was really looking forward to hanging out with him tonight. She hadn't realized how much she looked forward to hanging out with Keith at night until he hadn't been there. She couldn't even remember how she occupied herself throughout the night before she had meet him.

Quickly, she typed a response back. _Which one?_

A few seconds later he replied, but it was only one word: _Patience._

* * *

><p>"You<em> bought<em> a henna tattoo kit?" asked Natalie shocked.

Keith shrugged as he walked over to his desk. He was wearing a pair of loose fitting pajama bottoms and one of his hoodies. Color was back in his complexion and he wasn't coughing as much. It was the healthiest Natalie had seen him in a while. "Yeah," he said as he opened the bag. "I went to Walgreens to get some…stuff, and I saw this. It was a little awkward, but I remembered your quest list."

"I'm so excited!" squealed Natalie and she tore the box from his hands and started reading the instructions. It look harder than she had expected. "Okay…so you're going to do this for me, right?" She blinked at him, giving him, what she hoped, was her best pouty face.

"What?" breathed Keith. "You want me to do the tattoo for you? Are you serious?"

"Yup, you need to do it. I want it on my shoulder and it would be too hard to reach. And, plus, even though it comes with the tracing paper I think I'd screw it up."

"Why makes you think I'll do a better job?" asked Keith. He looked a little worried. "You remember that English assignment?" Natalie nodded. "And you remember how for that assignment we had to draw a picture?" Natalie nodded again. "Do you remember how horrible my drawing was?" Again, she nodded. "I rest my case."

"I don't care," said Natalie, rolling her eyes. "You're doing it. And if you screw it up I'll be mad, which means you _have_ to do a good job."

"Oh, gee, thanks, partner, that makes me feel loads better."

At that, she threw the box back to him, which he caught without any trouble. "You can pick the design," she said and then sat down on his bed.

Natalie watched as Keith sat down at his desk, read the instructions, took forever to choose a picture, and finally copied the design on some special tracing paper. When he was done, he went into the bathroom to get some soap and instructed her to sit at his desk.

"So, where do you want it again?"

"My shoulder," she stated simply, but after a few moments of him just standing there she prompted, "Uh…are you just going to stand there all night?"

"Are you sure you want your shoulder? What about your arm? Or-or your hand?"

"What's wrong with my shoulder?"

At this, a blush grew on his face and he stammered, "Cause you would need to takeyourshirtoff."

He mumbled the last part so quickly, she had barley understood what he had said. She blushed in embarrassment when the words finally registered. How could she forget something like that? "How about I just move that one sleeve down?" Keith nodded and Natalie pushed down her right sleeve enough so her shoulder was showing.

Keith thrust a bottle of soap in her hand. "You should probably be the one to put that on your shoulder. You don't need a lot, just a very thin layer."

When she was done, Keith took over. Gently, he placed the tracing paper with the design on her shoulder, pressed it against her skin for a few seconds, and then peeled it off. Natalie craned her neck and was able to see the light blue tracings of a butterfly.

Keith grabbed the tube of ink and slowly began tracing the design. Natalie tried to watch him, but after a while her neck started to hurt. When she turned away, she was more aware of Keith's touch; the way his fingers lightly graced her skin. And in that moment, she knew this had been a mistake. Why had she picked her shoulder? Was she that stupid? This was not something two friends should be doing. Was it?

But as much as she thought this, she didn't stop him.

Twenty minutes later, Keith said, voice a little nervous, "Okay, I'm done."

Natalie practically jumped out of her seat and ran to the bathroom. "Keith, this is amazing." It really was. It look professional. Granted, he had used a tracing, but still, it looked perfect.

He let out a low breath. "Phew. I was scared you were going to freak out that I screwed it up."

Natalie wasn't sure how he could even remotely think he had ruined it. "It's perfect."

He grinned. "So, the instructions said to keep it on as long as possible. The longer it's on the darker the tattoo will get."

Natalie stared at her art for a few more seconds before she exclaimed, "Your turn!"

"No way," said Keith, shaking his head as Natalie pushed him onto his desk chair. "I refuse. Every design that book gives is way too girly."

"I'll make up my own."

"Absolutely not," demanded Keith. "Half an hour ago you told me I had to do yours because you might screw it up."

Natalie pouted. "Please, I promise I'll make it look good." Keith just stared at her. "And it'll be manly."

"Fine."

"Yay! Let's do your arm." Keith took his hoodie off and rolled up the sleeve of his right arm and lathered it with lotion like Natalie had done to her shoulder. "Okay, don't watch. I want you to be surprised."

Keith turned his head away. Natalie stood there for a few seconds, trying to come up with a design. Honestly, she really had planned to draw something manly, but then an idea came to her and she just couldn't pass it up.

She drew a unicorn.

* * *

><p>Every Christmas morning it was tradition for Natalie to wake before everyone else to make breakfast. Every year she planned something different, so her family was always surprised.<p>

This year, she made omelets.

She was frying the omelets on the stove when her dad walked in. He was still in his pajamas. "Merry Christmas, sweetie," he said as he stood next to her. "Omelets! Great choice."

Natalie flipped the omelet over. "Thanks, Dad."

"I'll set the table while you finish."

As her dad grabbed the fine china (which they used only on holidays and special occasions), Natalie finished making the omelets. As she piled all of them (she made eight, knowing Zach and her dad would have at least two) onto a plate, she spoke up, trying to sound nonchalant. "Hey, Dad?"

He had just grabbed a pitcher of orange juice from the fridge when the stopped to look at her. "Yeah?"

"Why were you sleeping in the guest room?" Earlier this morning, when she had made her way downstairs, the door to the guest room had been open a few feet and she had seen her dad sleeping. She wondered how long that arrangement had been going on.

"You're mom and I thought these agreements were for the best. For right now, at least."

"Oh," said Natalie, voice timid. "I see."

Pete walked to the dining room table to set the pitcher down. "Don't worry about it, okay, honey? We're hoping this will help us come to an understanding. Ever since we started this arrangement we haven't had as many fights in the morning."

Now that her dad mentioned it, Natalie couldn't recall waking up to them fighting in at least a few weeks. "I hope so."

"Your mom and I are really trying to fix this; I want you to know that. But," he started, "it seems like your mom thinks that you're ignoring her."

Natalie cast her eyes downward, a little ashamed. "Yeah, she's right. I just—Dad, it's really hard for me to act normal around her. After what she did to you."

"I understand," he nodded, grabbing the tray of omelets and taking them to the table. He went to say something more, but then a pounding of feet was heard and Cynthia came running into the kitchen.

"Santa came! Did you see, Dad? Did you!? There are _so_ many presents!"

* * *

><p>After breakfast, they opened presents. During the entire two hours it took to open them, Natalie's parents didn't once argue. They were actually being nice to each other and had exchanged thoughtful gifts. Natalie couldn't help but smile. The last few weeks she had worried about how the holiday would go, given how horrible Thanksgiving went, but today everything felt normal. Like they were actually a family.<p>

They only had a few presents left when Cynthia grabbed a medium-sized box from under the tree and looked at the tag in confusion. "Who's Keith?" she asked.

All eyes turned toward Natalie. "He's just a friend," she said simply.

"Oh, your other boyfriend? The one that came over that one day?" asked Cynthia.

"No!" interjected Natalie quickly. "Cynthia, I already told you. I can't have two boyfriends. Raff is my boyfriend and Keith is just a friend."

Cynthia bit her lip and looked to be in deep thought. "My friends at school say girls can't be friends with guys unless they're dating. So that means you and Keith are dating. If you don't want to date two guys, you should probably figure that out."

"Cynthia, your friends are _ten_," said Natalie. "Ten year olds don't know anything about relationships."

"Yes, they do! Amanda has already had like six boyfriends this year. She's already gone to first base with one of them."

At this declaration, Zach choked on his coffee. "What the hell?" he exclaimed. "What is wrong with children these days. First base? Are you kidding me?"

Natalie's mouth was wide open, before a thought occurred to her. "Cynthia, what is first base exactly? I forgot."

Cynthia glanced towards her parents before indicating for Zach and Natalie to lean into her so she could whisper it. "_Holding hands_."

Zach and Natalie both let out huge sighs of relief. "Thank God," muttered Zach. "I thought for a second you were going to need to be homeschooled."

Cynthia just looked confused. "Anyway," started Cynthia, "I know I've only met Keith once, but he was _a lot_ cooler than Raff. Raff never says anything to me, so I just want you to know if you break up with Raff I won't care."

"Raff and I are not going to break up," stressed Natalie. Although, for some reason, she kind of felt like she was lying. Then she added, "And thanks, Cynthia, for the kind remarks on my boyfriend." On any other day, Natalie figured she probably would've yelled at Cynthia for saying those thing about Raff, but she was in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it. Plus, with how Raff had been acting lately, she didn't care what people said about him.

Cynthia shrugged. "If you say so."

Pete finally cut in, looking entirely too pleased at the conversation his children had just had. "So, who's ready for the afternoon tradition?"

"Hot chocolate and Christmas movies?" asked Zach, excitement filling his voice.

"You've got it," Pete grinned.

"And since it's a holiday you kids are allowed to eat all the junk food you want," started Caroline, "which means you get unlimited amounts of marshmallows in your chocolate."

* * *

><p>Natalie pulled up to the side street next to Keith's house at exactly midnight. It was later than normal, since her family had watched movies all through the day and had just stopped at eleven. She had been looking forward to hanging out with him all day; she smiled when she saw him walking towards her car. It was snowing out, so he had a winter jacket over his hoodie and was walking slowly so he didn't slip on any hidden ice.<p>

"Merry Christmas!" exclaimed Natalie as Keith got in the car, bringing some snow with him. She didn't mind.

"Merry Christmas," Keith said, throwing his bag in the back of the car.

Natalie frowned at the strange tone in his voice. He didn't sound mad or scared which was good, but more just plain _sad_. Still, it was kind of unnerving. "How was your Christmas?" she asked softly.

"It was fine," he replied, looking at her. "You?"

"It was great," she replied honestly. And it had been. Even with finding out about her parents' new sleeping arrangements, they hadn't gotten into a fight and it had almost seemed like their family was how it had been last Christmas. When everything had still been normal.

Keith smiled at her and then buckled his seatbelt. "So what are we doing tonight?"

Natalie didn't reply to his question; instead, she stared at him. Even though it was late at night, with the aid of the falling snow and streetlamps she could see his face rather well, and he just looked so sad she had to ask him. "Are you sure you're all right? Did something happen? With Melissa or Jake?"

He averted his eyes at her question, now staring intently at the falling snow. "What makes you think something's wrong?" he asked quietly.

Natalie bit her lip. "You just…you look kind of sad."

It looked like Keith was debating with himself on something before he finally answered, voice soft, "I just…I really miss my parents." He rubbed his face with his hand, an action he did when Natalie knew he was beyond exhausted.

Natalie was shocked at his honest response. "Did they call you?" she asked hesitantly.

"No."

"_They didn't_ _call you on Christmas?_" she exclaimed, not being able to help herself. "Keith, I'm so sorry." She wondered how hard it must be for him to have been abandoned but still miss them, when it seemed like they didn't miss him at all. "Have they—have you heard from them since they left?"

He shook his head. "No." He paused. "I'm-I'm not really sure I'll ever hear from them again, to be honest."

Natalie's eyes got wide. There was something so…weird about the whole thing with Keith's parents, but she knew it wasn't the time to ask him more questions. Plus, she knew he wouldn't tell her until he was ready, so there was no point in making him mad at her. He looked like he was getting uncomfortable with the topic so Natalie said, "I have an idea. Something that'll cheer you up."

"Yeah?" asked Keith, brightening up a little. "What?"

"We're going to Wal-Mart."

* * *

><p>Wal-Mart was dead, which Natalie expected. They had just opened their doors twenty minutes ago. Keith was silent as he followed Natalie to a wall of socks. "Why do we need socks?" he asked when Natalie grabbed a random bag of them.<p>

"You'll see," she said, and then promptly ripped open the bag.

"Natalie, what're you doing?" hissed Keith, voice low even though they hadn't seen one person since they had walked in.

"You'll find out soon," she said as she threw a pair of socks at him. "Put those on and keep your shoes off."

"Why?" asked Keith slowly. "I'm already wearing socks. Can't I just use those?"

"No," said Natalie defiantly. "New socks always work better." Before Keith could question her anymore, she pulled another pair of socks from the bag and sat down on the ground to put them on. Keith followed suit.

Once their socks were on, they stood up and Natalie grabbed Keith's arm, practically dragging him to the grocery section of Wal-Mart. "So what're we doing?" asked Keith, turning to face her.

"We're going to run down the aisles and slide on our socks!" she exclaimed.

Keith's eye shined with excitement. "Really? That's awesome!"

Natalie nodded enthusiastically. "I did this a lot when I was little, until my mom caught me. I'll go first, okay?" After Keith nodded, Natalie took off. Once she had enough momentum, about halfway down the aisle, she stopped running and let herself slide to the end; she stopped gracefully before she ran into a tall mountain of Kleenex boxes.

Before Natalie could even call Keith to start, he was running, sliding down the row just as Natalie had, but he didn't stop gracefully; instead, he fell right on his butt. He got up right away, though. "That was awesome. Wanna go again?"

"Of course," said Natalie, rolling her eyes.

The ran down the aisle again and again and again. They had to stop at one point and hide behind the mountain of Kleenex when an employee walked by. They were having so much fun, Natalie was sure they were going to spend the rest of the night running down aisle of Wal-Mart. But then Keith got too much momentum on his turn and couldn't stop himself. He fell right into the mountain of Kleenex.

For boxes so light, they made a fairly loud sound as they rained down onto Keith. He looked rather dazed sitting in the middle of the mess, so Natalie had to quickly grab his arm, lift him up off the ground, and drag him away. They hid a few aisles down.

It didn't take long for an employee to walk over. When the employee saw the mess, he looked extremely confused, which caused Natalie and Keith to start cracking up. It was difficult to be quiet with how hard they were laughing. Quickly, they ran to where they had left their belongings, put their shoes back on, and went to buy the bag of socks they had opened.

"So, did that cheer you up?" asked Natalie as she drove out of the Wal-Mart parking lot.

"Yeah, it really did," said Keith. And Natalie grinned widely. Keith added, "So what are we doing now?"

"We're going to the diner. It's time to exchange Christmas presents."

* * *

><p>Another thing Natalie loved about The Pancake Hut was it never, ever closed. They sat down at their normal booth and Julie was already bustling over with some pie and coffee only staying long enough to say "Merry Christmas, it's on the house."<p>

They prepared their coffee before handing each other their gifts. "Open mine first," said Natalie, bouncing up and down in her seat like a little kid.

Natalie watched as Keith examined her gift. She had wrapped it in shimmery blue paper with a dark blue ribbon. Keith tore into it, only to find a box which was taped so well he had to use a butter knife to open it. The whole box was filled with random stuff. There was beef jerky, tic-tacs, Twinkies, all different varieties of candy, and even a few movies and CDs. "Wow, partner, this is great."

"I figured I would make you a kind of stocking. You like it?" She figured he did by the way he was smiling.

He stared into her eyes. "I love it. Thank you."

Natalie felt herself blush and really hoped he didn't notice. She was just relieved he liked it; he was really hard to buy for. "Can I open mine now?" she asked, glancing at her present impatiently.

"Hmmm…."

"Keith!"

He chuckled. "Yeah, partner, you can open it."

Natalie tried not to laugh at how horrible of a wrapping job Keith did. It looked like he had run out of paper while wrapping because half of the present was wrapped in snowflake paper and the other half in reindeer paper. "You got me books!" she squealed. "And books I _like_." Inside the box were four books; the cheesy romance kind she read all the time around Keith. Come to think of it, he was the only person who know she read them.

"I just want you to know how hard it was for me to purchase those. Seriously, you have no idea how hard it was to buy books with half naked men on the cover. People were giving me _looks_. It was embarrassing; I think I'm traumatized."

Natalie quickly glanced at all the covers. Every cover had a man with ripped abs and a woman in the background. "Oh, you poor thing. But it looks like you survived."

Keith shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm still traumatized." Natalie laughed and then picked up one of the books and started reading the back cover. "So, there's one more present in there," said Keith casually.

Natalie's attention broke away from the book quickly and she found the other present in her box. It was a small blue velvet bag. She opened it and out fell two earrings. They were simple silver earrings with a tiny purple stone in them. "These are so pretty, Keith. Did you pick these out?"

"Yeah," he said nervously. "Do you like them? I thought maybe they could match your necklace." He pointed to the rice necklace Natalie never took it off.

Natalie almost felt like she was going to cry. She couldn't believe how much thought Keith and put into his present. This was nothing compared to Raff's present. All he had given her was a collection of really flimsy lingerie. "Keith, I love them. This—this was really thoughtful of you. Thanks."

He grinned. "Sure." Natalie decided to try the earrings on. While she was doing so, Keith grabbed one of her books and opened it up to a random page.

She watched his eyes trail over the page, and when they got wide and a blush grew on his face, she had to bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Holy shit, partner," he choked out. "You actually read this?"

"Uh, yeah."

He stared at the page transfixed. "I can't believe I bought these. I basically bought you porn!"

At this, Natalie couldn't help but burst into laughter. "They aren't that bad. Geez, Keith."

"Not that bad? Listen to this." He started speaking in a voice much deeper than Natalie had ever heard. It caused goose bumps to appear on her arm. "_'Chloe watched through narrowed eyes as her master walked towards her. Her heart was pounding with want and need for this hunk of a man. She couldn't believe what he did to her. His body drove her wild. He drove her crazy. She wanted to do crazy things to him; she wanted him to do crazy things to her. He was perfect. His abs glistened in the moonlight as he neared and all she wanted to do was trail her tongue down his chest and lower and lower until she reached his throb—'" _Keith stopped speaking abruptly, slamming the book down on the table as if it burned him. "What is this shit?"

Natalie was breathless as she stared at Keith. Had he been trying to sound that…sexy while reading? Because _oh my God_ his voice. Natalie knew she had a blush on her cheeks and hoped Keith thought it was because of the passage he had read and not because of the voice he had read it in. "That—that was," she tried to choke out, but couldn't. Keith raised his eyebrows and she tried to form words. "You know what? I didn't say you had to read it! And-and just so you know, most of the books I read aren't _that _dirty!"

Keith shook his head. "You're right, I didn't have to read it and I regret it immensely. I thought I was traumatized before…."

Natalie grabbed the book off the table and placed it carefully in her box, trying not to look at Keith. She needed to get herself under control. What was wrong with her? Was she only thinking these things about Keith because Brooke had asked if she be developing feelings for him? She didn't think so. Because when he had kissed her, she had liked it. And ever since then, as much as she tired to deny it, wanted him to kiss her again. Whatever her problem was, it needed to stop. Natalie glanced at the book one last time and hoped when she did read it she wouldn't remember the way Keith's voice sounded when he had read it out loud.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and please review and let me know what you thought and how you're liking the story!_


	13. When I'm With You

**A/N: **_Thanks for reading and reviewing!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen: When I'm With You<strong>

"What the _hell_ is Bailey wearing?" It was Christmas morning and Keith had walked into the living room to find Bailey cowering in a corner instead of greeting him like he normally did (with lots of kisses and excited tail wagging). The poor dog was wearing a red velvet dress with white lace on the ends, accompanied with a red Santa hat and boots. The hat looked too big and Keith was pretty sure Bailey couldn't even see with the way it was flopping over his eyes.

"Isn't he adorable?" cooed Melissa as she walked over and picked Bailey up. The poor dog looked miserable. And extremely embarrassed.

"Uh…Aunt Melissa you do realize Bailey is a boy, right?"

Melissa let out a little annoyed huff. "Of course I know that. Why would you ask me that crazy question?"

"He's wearing a _dress._"

She rolled her eyes. "Just so you know all the Santa sweaters were sold out. I was able to find everything else, but had to compromise with the Mrs. Claus skirt. Now, be quiet. I don't think he realizes he's wearing a dress."

"You're traumatizing him." Bailey was giving Keith a pleading look.

"I am not!" objected Melissa. "He's been dressing up like this for every Christmas for the past two years and he loves it."

"That's doubtful," muttered Keith as he walked over to the leather chair and flopped onto it.

"Merry Christmas, sweetie," said Melissa.

"Merry Christmas," said Keith. "So, um, where's Jake?" He had been over last night for Christmas Eve dinner and Keith had assumed he had stayed the night. "Is he here?"

Melissa shook her head. "Nope, he won't be here until dinner. I thought it'd be nice to spend the day with just you."

"Oh. Uh, thanks." He glanced over to the tree. The bottom was piled high with presents and there was even an overflowing stocking with his name on it. For some reason it made him kind of sad.

"So," started Melissa as she sat down on the couch. Bailey scampered away from her as fast as he could, bounding off the couch kind of clumsily with his booted feet and running straight to Keith who picked him up. "I didn't really have any plans for today. I-I wasn't sure what you'd want to do. Or what you normally did and if you even wanted to do that…I figured we could just play it by ear."

"Okay." Keith felt bad. He knew if he hadn't yelled at his aunt about her trying to copy his parents' traditions, she probably would've had the whole day planned out. His aunt was giving him an expectant look, and Keith suspected she was waiting for him to tell her what he wanted to do. "Well, have you had breakfast?" he wondered. His aunt was a fairly early riser and it was already ten, so he wasn't sure if she had eaten yet.

"Nope, not yet. I was waiting for you. What would you like?"

For some reason, a memory hit Keith so hard and so powerful he had to turn away and close his eyes. He remembered his mom in the kitchen, singing Christmas tunes as she made Belgium waffles and bacon. He remembered his dad, sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, eyes focused on his wife.

"Keith?"

His eyes snapped open and he jerked his head to face his aunt. "Sorry," he stammered. "I guess I spaced out for a minute."

"Do you know what you want to eat?"

He stared at her for a few moments, debating with himself. Finally, he asked, "Do you happen to have a waffle maker?"

Melissa gave him a soft smile, and Keith figured she knew why he had asked. "You know what? I actually do."

Together, they made Belgium waffles with whipped cream and strawberries (even Bailey had a few bites). After, they opened presents and not once did Melissa bring up Keith's parents, or ask him how he was; she acted like everything was normal, and Keith appreciated it. It was a better Christmas than he could've hoped for.

The only problem was he missed his parents so badly no matter how hard he tried to be happy, to smile, to laugh, it all seemed forced. He missed his parents so much it physically hurt.

* * *

><p>Keith spent the days following Christmas catching up on all his homework. He couldn't believe how behind he had gotten being out of school for a week; he was glad he had a two-week Christmas break to finish it all.<p>

Every night during break, he hung out with Natalie. Sometimes they walked around the dark, quiet streets and talked. Other nights they went to back the pool where Natalie patiently tried to lessen Keith's fear of the water. He wasn't improving much; he was able to venture closer towards the deep end, but the thought of submerging himself entirely under water freaked him out and he hadn't even been able to prevent himself from shaking just thinking about it, let alone actually doing it. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to go under water without having a panic attack. He felt pathetic, but at least Natalie didn't seem to mind.

Tonight, though, Keith and Natalie weren't meeting at the diner. It was New Year's Eve and Natalie was at a party at Raff's. Keith had a hard time trying to stay awake without Natalie around. Once he had recovered from the flu, the nightmares had returned, more intense and frequent. He was getting less sleep than he had before he had gotten sick. He still took the caffeine pills (he didn't want to think about how much trouble he'd get into if his aunt found out), but they weren't helping as much. He had to take more to stay awake, and they didn't give him the energy they use to. Keith felt like he was in a constant daze, he was so tired. Tonight he had already caught himself, at least a half dozen times, falling asleep with his head resting on his English book.

It wasn't until a few hours later—it had to be well past midnight—when someone tapped on his window. Looking up from his homework, he caught Natalie's eyes; she opened the window and crawled through when she knew he had seen her.

"What are you doing here?" asked Keith, sitting up in bed. "I thought you were at Raff's."

Natalie closed the window, shivering at the cold air that had come in with her. "I was," she started, "but I was bored. I wanted to come here instead."

"Won't Raff get mad?"

Natalie rolled her eyes. "He was so drunk by the time I left there's no way he'll realize I'm gone. " After she explained this, she set her backpack on the floor and took her coat off.

She was wearing the _tightest _red dress Keith had ever seen. It looked like it had been painted on. And her hair was in some kind of up do thing and he could see _so much_ skin. She was wearing black sparkly high heels, too, which just made her legs look longer. He wondered how she had crawled through the window so gracefully in those. At the sight of her, Keith's heart began beating rapidly in his chest and he tried to look away. It was hard, but if he didn't soon, things would quickly turn embarrassing.

"Keith? Keith!"

Keith snapped back to reality. "What?"

"I asked you a question. What's wrong with you? Is it my dress? Raff said I looked fat in it."

"I'm just tired," he said quickly. This wasn't exactly why he had spaced out, but it wasn't a lie either. "You look great. And you don't look fat," he added. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was. Inside and out. But no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't. There were so many reasons why he couldn't.

"Really?" she asked, voice hopeful.

"It looks great. Raff's delusional." A smile lit her face. "So, what were you asking me?"

"Oh! I was saying," she started slowly, "that I stole two bottles of champagne before I left. You wanna have some?" She looked extremely proud of herself. It was cute.

Keith chuckled. "Do you have a bottle opener?"

* * *

><p>"I won! I won!" exclaimed Natalie. Keith watched as she jumped off his bed and started to do a cute little dance around his room. "That's the <em>fifth <em>time in a row, in case you haven't been keeping track." She stopped dancing to take a small sip out of the champagne bottle.

Apparently, Natalie was a very good video player when tipsy. After they had opened their champagne bottle, Natalie had decided she wanted to play video games. And hour later, they were still playing. And she was dominating him.

"I don't need to keep track. You've been keeping me on track every time you win," said Keith, taking the champagne bottle from Natalie and taking a long sip. "I could be letting you win, you know."

Natalie giggled. "Doubtful. You just don't want to admit that you're not as good at Mario Cart as I am." She flung herself back onto the bed. Keith tried not to watch as her dress rolled a few inches up her thighs. If the dress rolled up any farther… "Although, I do think that playing Yoshi is really helping me out. He's the best. I knew I made a good decision."

"You picked him because you said he was the cutest."

Natalie didn't look ashamed at this and grabbed her controller again. She was using one that was shaped like an actual car steering wheel. "There's nothing wrong with that," she said. "You wanna play more?

"And continued to get crushed by a girl? I don't think so," lied Keith. He would play all night with her, if she continued to look this happy.

Natalie pouted. "Please, please, _please_ play more, Keith. I love playing video games. Raff has a lot but he never lets me play with him. He says I suck, and I don't tonight so I wanna keep playing."

"Okay, fine," said Keith. "We'll play more. But you should let me win at least once so I can get my pride back, okay?"

"Not gonna happen," replied Natalie, leaning against the headboard before starting a new race. "You'll just need to get better."

A few hours passed and they were working on the second bottle of champagne. Keith had yet to win a game. Natalie continued to get better and he continued to get worse. Every time Natalie won a game, she jumped off the bed, did a little dance, and ranted about her win. At her twenty-fifth straight win, though, instead of jumping off the bed, she decided to jump on it. Before Keith could tell her she should not be jumping on a bed while under the influence, she fell.

Right on top of him.

Everything happened quickly. One moment they were staring each other in the eyes and the next Natalie was closing the distance between them and kissing him. Her first kiss was soft and sweet, and mixed with hesitation. When Keith didn't pull away, Natalie seemed to gain more confidence and her kisses became more passionate and more aggressive.

Keith tried to tell himself that she was _drunk_, that she probably had _no idea_ what she was doing, and what it meant, but he _couldn't _stop her. All he could do was grip her thighs to steady her when her kisses became more intense. He knew there was no way, with the way she was straddling him, she couldn't feel how his body responded to her kisses.

It had to have been at least five minutes before Natalie suddenly pulled away, almost falling off the bed as she got up. "Oh, shit," she whispered. She was standing next to his bed, breathing deeply, fingertips touching her lips as if she couldn't believe what she had done. "I-I'm sorry," she breathed. "I-I don't know… I didn't mean…"

"It's okay," said Keith, quickly sitting up and adjusting his pants. He was feeling awkward now they had stopped kissing.

"I should probably…" she started, glancing around his room and looking lost. She looked at him and said, sounding a little disappointed. "Could we maybe not talk about what just happened?"

Keith nodded, because that had been exactly what they had done when he had kissed her. "You wanna watch a movie?"

Natalie seemed relieved at his question, her shoulders relaxing. "Yeah, that sounds good." She bit her lip and said, sounding nervous, "Could I maybe…uh…spend the night? I can't drive since I've been drinking and I really just don't want to go home."

"Of course," said Keith.

She smiled and then a tiny blush rose on her cheeks at her next question. "Can I borrow some sweatpants and a shirt?"

* * *

><p>Once Natalie changed, they crawled into bed and turned on a movie. The movie had only been paying for a few minutes before Natalie spoke up. "You know, I've never really liked celebrating New Year's Eve."<p>

"Really?" asked Keith. "Why?"

She turned on her side to face him. "I really don't know. I guess it's because it means Christmas is over and that's always my favorite time of the year. I've never understood why people make such a big deal about it."

"Me either," said Keith.

"I actually had fun celebrating this year. Maybe it's 'cause I was with you." She smiled wistfully and then added, "I really hope this year will be better than last year. Last year sucked."

"Yeah," agreed Keith, letting out a soft sarcastic breath. "It really, really did."

Natalie didn't say anything after that, and instead of turning back around to face the movie, she closed her eyes. She was asleep within minutes. Keith stayed there watching her sleep for a few minutes, before he grabbed his pillow and a blanket and made himself a makeshift bed on the floor.

Even though he was beyond exhausted, he lied there for hours. Thinking. He thought about what Natalie said, about how she hoped this year would be better than last. Keith didn't think it could get worse, but he didn't think it could get _better_ either. To Keith, all the New Year signified was how he was stuck living another day without his parents. Alone.

* * *

><p>"Keith! <em>Keith<em>!"

Keith bolted up into a sitting position, rubbing his face to try and wake himself up faster. "What's going on? What happened?" he mumbled. When he finally awoke enough to open his eyes he saw Natalie peering down at him from the side of his bed.

"Why are you on the floor?!" she asked.

"What?" he asked, confused. He still wasn't fully awake. He glanced at the clock on his nightstand and saw it was only eight in the morning. He hadn't been able to fall asleep until after five.

"Why did you sleep on the floor?"

"Because you were sleeping in my bed," he stated obviously.

"You could've stayed here with me. I wouldn't have minded. The bed is big enough."

"Oh." He decided not to mention the fact that she had a _boyfriend_ and it was _not_ him so they shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed.

"Well," she started, changing conversations and smiling, "I had a lot of fun last night. Especially kicking your ass at Mario Cart."

"That," started Keith, "is between you and I. No one can ever know. Got it?"

"Hmmm…what do I get out of it?"

Keith's stomach groaned. "How about I buy you breakfast?"

* * *

><p>School started back up the following week. Strangely, Keith didn't mind going back. He was looking forward to having school occupy his time during the day. At school, Keith didn't have as much time with just his thoughts, so he didn't think about his parents as much.<p>

When his last class of the day let out, Keith made his way to his locker, only to find Natalie standing in front of it. "Hey," he said as he neared her.

"Hi." She smiled at him, eyes sparkling.

"What's up?" he asked, as she moved a few inches to the right so he could get to his locker.

"I've been meaning to give you this back," she said, handing him one of his hoodies. It was the one he had let her change into on New Year's Eve. She had worn it out to breakfast, not wanting to change into her fancy dress.

Just as he took the hoodie from her, Raff appeared. "What's going on?" Raff asked, voice low and menacing.

"What?" asked Natalie. Even though her voice sounded casual enough, Keith could tell she was worried. And maybe a little scared.

"His hoodie." Raff nodded towards it.

"Oh, you like it?" asked Keith. "My aunt got it for me. It's from Target."

Raff glared daggers at Keith. "Why were you giving it back to him? Why did you have it?"

"I-I was cold," stuttered Natalie, her voice shaking. "He lent it to me."

Raff didn't look convinced, and for some reason it really pissed Keith off. "Awww, you don't really believe her, do you?" Natalie's eyes got wide and she gave Keith a pleading look, but for some stupid reason he continued. He wasn't sure why. Maybe because he was so sick of Raff questioning everything Natalie did. "We're part of a jacket smuggling ring." He lowered his voice. "But if you're quiet enough, I promise there's a fleece in there somewhere for ya."

Raff stepped closer, and for a second Keith thought he was going to hit him. "Look, I'm not talking to you, okay?" growled Raff.

"Man, don't get mad at me. I only supply the shit, okay? I don't create the demands."

Raff stepped closer, causing Keith to take a step back so he was right up against the locker. "Shut the hell up."

"Ra-Raff, stop," demanded Natalie frantically. "It's just a jacket. I—"

Raff glared at Keith before twisting around to face his girlfriend. "I thought we made a promise," he sneered.

"What promise?" breathed Natalie.

"I thought I told you to stop hanging out with the freak." Keith felt his heart fall to his stomach. Raff had told Natalie that? When? Was she going to stop hanging out with him?

Natalie glanced frantically back and forth before Raff and Keith. "I never made that promise, Raff. I-I never agreed."

"Why the hell not? If I tell you to do something, you do it."

"Because he's my friend," she cried, voice sounding thick, like she was trying not to cry.

"I don't care if he's your friend. I don't like him. I swear to God, Natalie, if you keep hanging out with that freak, you'll regret it."

Keith watched as tears pooled in Natalie's eyes. "Stop threatening her like that, man," growled Keith, walking toward him. "If she wants to hang out with me, you can't stop her." It made Keith extremely uncomfortable at how Raff talked to Natalie.

Keith didn't have time to react before Raff spun around and pushed him hard in the chest, causing him to crash into the locker. The sound of a body hitting metal echoed down the entire hallway and students stopped what they were doing to stare at them.

"Don't fucking touch me," hissed Keith, pushing Raff in the chest. The push caught Raff off guard because he stumbled on his feet and almost fell over.

Raff righted himself quickly, though, and punched Keith in the stomach. Hard. All the breath left Keith, causing his vision to go blurry. But he didn't want to get hit again, so ignored it, and quickly swung a punch at Raff. He hit him square on the nose, causing Raff to scream loudly.

Before Raff could deliver a punch back, two teachers came running over, pulling Raff and Keith away from each other. "You two: the principal's office. _Now_."

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, Keith and Raff were sitting in Principal Sassen's office, waiting for their parents (well, in this case, Keith's aunt) to show up. Melissa arrived a few minutes after Mrs. Marques. As soon as Melissa walked into the room she frantically asked, "What's going on?" She stopped, though, when she saw Keith sitting in a corner and Raff (who had a bag of ice on his nose) and his mom next to him. "What happened?"<p>

"Ms. Hartling," started Principal Sassen. "Please sit down." He gestured to the only empty seat left in the room, which was right next to Keith.

Keith made sure to not make eye contact as she sat down next to him. He wondered how much trouble he was going to be in after this meeting. "Raff and Keith got into a fight after school today, and it is our regulation to call in the parents and have a meeting."

"A _fight_?" exclaimed both Melissa and Raff's mom.

"I'm sure Raff didn't mean to," stared Mrs. Marques. "I'm sure he had reason."

"I did," said Raff. "This freak is trying to take my girlfriend away from me."

Keith rolled his eyes. "That's bullshit. I'm trying to get you to _respect_ your girlfriend, which you have no idea how to do."

"Keith," said Principal Sassen sternly. "Watch the language." Keith sighed deeply, lowering himself in the chair and crossing his arms over his chest in a protective manner. He just wanted to leave. This was ridiculous. "Now, normally fighting on school property constitutes an automatic school suspension, but I'm still in the Christmas spirit, so I'm going to only give a warning." Keith sighed in relief. "While we were waiting for you two to show up, Keith and Raff worked things out."

Keith wanted to laugh. Principal Sassen had made Keith and Raff talk alone in his office for fifteen minutes, so they could 'work things out.' Apparently, he thought this had worked. It was a bunch of bullshit. Keith hadn't said one word to Raff.

"However," continued the principal, "in addition to your warning, you will both serve after-school detention for a week. And if I ever see you two fighting again, you'll be suspended."

"Thank you, Mr. Sassen. I really appreciate this," said Melissa. "I-just…you know what Keith's going through with his—I just really appreciate this."

Mr. Sassen nodded his welcome then faced Keith. "I understand you're still grieving, Keith, so I'm trying to be lenient here. But this just isn't acceptable. I know you're going through an extremely tough time right now, but I can't have violence at my school. Understand?"

"Yeah, sure," said Keith, voice kind of choppy. The whole time Principal Sassen had been talking, Keith's heart had been pounding in his chest. He had been sure he was going to mention his parents' death and then Raff would know Keith had been lying. Then he would tell Natalie.

And right now? He _couldn't _lose Natalie. And Keith was sure, if she found out he had been lying to her from the beginning, she would _never_ forgive him. That couldn't happen. She was all he had right now. Without her, he didn't know what he'd do.

Five minutes later, Keith and Raff were let out. Melissa and Mrs. Marques waited by the office to talk while Raff and Keith went to get their stuff from their lockers. Instead of Raff going to his locker, though, he followed Keith. "I know you're hiding something," he said confidently.

"Whatever," said Keith, quickly opening his locker.

"I know you're lying about why you really moved here. I don't think it's because your parents are in Europe like Natalie told me. I think there's more to it. And I'm going to figure it out."

Keith tried to laugh, but the laugh got stuck in his throat. "You do that," he said, hoping his voice sounded calm. "But you'll just be wasting your time."

"I guess we'll find out, now won't we?"

And before Keith could say anything else, Raff was walking away, looking quite proud.

* * *

><p>Keith met Melissa at the front of the school. It wasn't until they were both in the car and buckled in did Keith speak up. "So, how mad are you?" Truthfully, Keith was a little nervous at how mad she was. Other than the one fight they had been in, Keith hadn't really gotten in any trouble and wasn't sure how his aunt was going to react. Part of him couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she got too fed up with him. Would she tell him she didn't want him anymore?<p>

She sighed. "I'll be honest, right now I'm not very happy. But," she continued, "how about you tell me the whole story first?"

"O-okay," said Keith. "I'll tell you." And he did. He told her _everything_. "Am I grounded or something?"

"You got into a fight…I should be mad, shouldn't I?" she said this mostly to herself. "After what you told me, though, I can't be." Keith tried hard not to let a grin grace his face, but he didn't succeed and Melissa noticed. "Don't you grin at me."

"Sorry." Keith had to bit his lip to not laugh.

"Just because I may understand why you did what you did, that doesn't mean I promote fighting. Make sure this _does not_ happen again. Got it?"

"It won't," said Keith.

Keith thought they were don't talking, because Melissa turned the car on and started driving out of the school parking lot. Once they got on the main street towards her house, she said, "I made you an appointment."

"For what?"

"Counseling."

Keith opened his mouth, but Melissa was faster and quickly said, "Nothing you say will make me cancel this appointment, Keith. And after today I wouldn't test your luck."

He crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the window. "Whatever."

"It's this Friday at three-thirty. I'll pick you up at school. I did a lot of research and I think you'll really like who you're going to."

"Doubtful," muttered Keith. He knew Melissa heard him; he hadn't tried to lower his voice or anything, but she choose not to speak.

Keith didn't want to go. Because he knew if he went they were going to make him talk about his parents, make him relive the one thing he was trying so hard to forget. It was a few minutes later, as they turned on their street, did Keith realize something.

His aunt could force him to go, but that didn't mean she could force him to _talk_.

* * *

><p>To Keith's surprise, he saw Natalie sitting on the porch steps of Melissa's house. He frowned when he saw her. Her eyes were red and puffy like she had been crying and her jacket was buttoned wrong like she had been in too much of a hurry to pay attention to what she was going. "Partner, what are you—" he started as he neared her; she interrupted him before he could finish.<p>

"You didn't get expelled, did you?" she asked, letting out a choked little hiccup like she was trying hard not to cry.

"Nope," said Keith, sitting down on the cold concrete next to her.

His answer seemed to calm her down and she asked, "Suspended?"

"Just a warning and a week of after-school detention. Don't worry about it."

Natalie took a deep, shaky breath. "Keith, I'm so sorry. I-I feel like that was all my fault. You're okay, right? Did Raff hurt you?"

His stomach did kind of hurt from where Raff had punched him, but Keith didn't think he needed to tell her that. "Na, I'm fine. Like I said, don't worry about it." Keith was kind of surprised she was over here, and not checking on Raff first. His blood turned cold when he wondered if maybe she here to tell them they couldn't be friends anymore.

"Good," she sighed. "I'm really sorry. I had no idea Raff would flip out like that. I can't believe he _hit _you."

Keith nodded and then silence fell upon them for a few seconds. "So, Raff doesn't want you to hang out with me anymore." He hadn't thought he would bring it up, but he hadn't been able to stop himself from doing so.

"Nope."

"When did he tell you that?"

Natalie played with the ends of her purple scarf; she seemed a little nervous. "A few weeks ago. Remember when I took you home that day during lunch?"

"Uh huh."

"Well," she continued, "Raff told me to stop hanging out with you. He was really mad that I took you home."

"Oh." Keith waited with bated breath for her to continue. For her to confirm what he was so certain she was going to. "So what are you going to do?"

"Raff makes me do a lot of things," she started, angling herself so she was facing Keith. "He can tell me to not wear certain jewelry, even certain clothes, but one thing I won't do is stop being your friend."

Keith wanted to tell her she shouldn't let Raff do any of those things, but he figured still hanging out with him was a big enough risk for her. "You had me worried there for a second," said Keith, chuckling nervously.

She shrugged. "This may sound crazy, Keith, but I haven't been this happy in a long time. At first I wasn't sure why, but I realized it started after we met. When I'm with you, it's just different. I feel like I can be myself. And I'm not willing to give that up."

Keith smiled at her and she smiled back before positioning herself so she could rest her head on his shoulder. They sat like that until Melissa came out, telling them there was hot chocolate for them inside.

* * *

><p>On Friday, Melissa picked Keith up at school and drove across town to a small building. "Are you coming in?" asked Keith when his aunt parked.<p>

"No," said Melissa. "I didn't think you'd want me to wait up there for you. I was planning on going to Starbucks. I'll be back in an hour. Unless," she wondered, "do you want me to stay?"

"No, I'll be fine." He opened the door, letting a burst of cold air into the car. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Keith." Slamming the car door behind him, Keith walked to the front door. He halted in front of it, though, long enough to pull the hat of his hoodie over his head, something he hadn't done in a few months.

He was ushered into a small office as soon as he signed in. Sitting down in rather large blue chair, he waited for his counselor to arrive. Five minutes later, a man who looked to be in his forties, with brown hair and glasses walked in and sat at his desk. "Hi, Keith. I'm Dr. Alan Ascher. You can call me Al."

Keith crossed his arms against his chest and stared at Al for a few seconds. Al didn't seem surprised and opened a manila folder (which Keith was sure was his paperwork) and didn't speak. "Aren't you supposed to be wearing some type of suit or something?" Keith finally asked, voice coming out a little harsher than he intended. Al was wearing unusually casual clothes.

"Nope," said Al. "I feel like I connect better with my clients if I'm not overdressed. I don't seem as intimidating."

"Right," said Keith, rolling his eyes and surveying the room. The wall to his right was a complete bookcase. And to Keith's surprise, almost every single space was filled with books. He wondered how many Al had actually read. Probably none.

"So, Keith," started Al, a serious tone entering his voice, "Your aunt called me because she's very concerned about you and believes you will benefit by talking with me."

"She's delusional."

"I wouldn't—" started Al, but Keith quickly interjected.

"The only reason I'm here is because my aunt _forced _me. She found out I was taking some pills and then I happen to get sick right after she found out. Now she's freaking out and thinks talking to you is going to solve all my problems. Well, talking to you is_ not _going to bring my parents back, so this is pointless and a waste of my time." Keith cursed himself for getting so fired up; he needed to control himself or he was going to say things he really didn't want Al to hear.

"What pills are you taking?"

"None of your business," snapped Keith, turning his head to stare at the bookshelf.

"Keith, there is no need to have this attitude. I'm only here to help you. Remember, your aunt will not hear any of our conversation that happens here."

"Sure she won't. Like I believe that."

Al let out a tiny sigh, and bent his head to read over Keith's file. "It looks like it was three months ago that your parents died. Do you want to talk about that? About how you're feeling? Depressed? Overwhelmed? Guilty?"

Keith tensed at the last word and bit his lip and looked away. He had already said more than he had anticipated; he wasn't talking any more. "Keith?" Al was patient, but finally five minutes later he asked, "Are you going to answer my questions, Keith?"

"No."

"Do you want to talk about something else? Maybe about how your new school?"

"No."

"Is there anything you want to tell me? We don't have to talk about your parents or the accident. We could talk about movies or books. Whatever you want."

"I don't want to talk about anything, okay? So stop asking me stupid ass questions."

"Okay, Keith. I won't ask you anything else."

And for the next forty-five minutes, neither spoke. Keith didn't even say goodbye when his hour was over and he left, slamming the big oak door behind him.

* * *

><p>That night, Keith refused to talk to Melissa about the counseling session. She seemed a little upset about it, but didn't pressure him to tell her anything. Apparently, these counseling sessions were going to become a weekly thing and that pissed Keith off. He didn't need to talk to <em>anyone<em>; he wished his aunt would realize that.

He ate dinner in his room and did his homework, trying to keep himself awake. He had plans with Natalie to go back to the pool tonight; he knew he should try and get at least a few hours of sleep, considering he had barley slept all week. But the memories of his last nightmare scared him too much.

When it was a few minutes to ten, Keith packed his bag and opened his window to crawl through. He was halfway through when strong hands gripped his shirt, lifted him up, and slammed him against the side of the house.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" hissed Jake, pinning Keith to the house.

"Going out," spat Keith. "Let me go." Jake had Keith pinned against the house by his neck. Keith could barley breathe; Jake's forearm was pressing into his neck, causing Keith's voice to come out choppy and dry.

"Does Melissa know about this?" At the look on Keith's face, Jake chuckled, "I didn't think so." He pressed harder and Keith coughed, the noise sounding loud in the darkness. "Be quiet!" screamed Jake, looking around him frantically, as if afraid someone may see them.

Keith went to pull Jake's arm away, but Jake grabbed his wrists tightly before he could do so. "Here's the deal," said Jake. "If you don't want Melissa finding out what you do every night—because I know you sneak out—you better do everything I say. _Everything_."

Keith nodded as best he could. He didn't care what Jake asked of him, he was lightheaded and wasn't getting enough air. He just needed Jake to let _go_.

"Good," said Jake, pressed into Keith's neck one more time, before letting go. "Just remember," he continued as Keith stood there, gulping in air, "I'm watching you."

Keith didn't bother waiting to fully catch his breath; instead, he bolted.

And he didn't once look back.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I really hate Raff. And Jake. I'm not sure who's worse._

_I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I always find Keith's POV so much harder to write than Natalie's. I have no idea why._

_ I'd love to know what you guys thought of this chapter. Did you have a favorite scene? Favorite line? I'm curious to see what your favorite types of scenes are so I can add more of them in future chapters._

_ As always, thanks for reading and please review! _


	14. This is Not Goodbye

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who reviewed; I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen: This is Not Goodbye<strong>

It was New Year's Eve and Natalie was stuck at Raff's. Two days ago, Raff had discovered his parents were going out of down to celebrate the New Year. As soon as he had heard this, he started planning a party.

He was super excited, but Natalie was just disappointed.

Raff had promised to spend New Year's Eve with just her. They were going to eat at her favorite restaurant and go to a movie—a romantic one. It was supposed to be a date night. Something Natalie hadn't had in a really long time. For weeks, she had been looking forward to spending time with Raff, because she hoped spending time alone with him, on a date, would allow her to reignite the spark she had felt when she first started dating him.

But instead, Natalie was stuck standing in a corner at Raff's party (the only place she could find where she wasn't in danger of getting shoved or beer spilt on her), while he hung out in the kitchen taking shots and playing beer pong with his friends.

She kept her eye on him the whole time, occasionally taking small sips of her own beer, and just as she began thinking that _maybe_ she could sneak away and go home (it wasn't like her boyfriend had even talked to her in the last hour), Raff turned around and spotted her. Winking at her, he downed his beer and refilled it before walking over to her. Natalie kind of felt like running away.

"Hi, baby," he said, words slurring as he wrapped his arm tightly around her shoulders. She couldn't help but cringe; she didn't like how Raff acted when he was drunk.

"Hi," she said. "Can you please let go? You're squeezing my shoulders too tight."

"Geez, someone's in a bad mood." _Maybe because as soon as I walked in the door you took one look at me and said I looked fat_, she thought bitterly. _Maybe it's because you cancelled our plans and didn't even care_. Pulling his arm away Raff said, "You know what you need? Another beer. That will definitely cheer you up."

"I'm _fine_. I told you I don't want to drink a lot tonight." She wrapped her arms around her chest protectively.

"What's with the attitude?" he asked, his voice deeper and not soft like before.

"I told you," she huffed. "I didn't want to party tonight. I wanted to spend it by going on a date with _you_."

"Why do you always have to be so selfish? Do you know how often my parents are actually gone for the night? On a weekend? Never. This is probably the only night I'll get to throw a party. I thought you'd be happy for me."

Natalie wanted to roll her eyes. "I just wanted to spend time with you. You haven't taken me out on date in a long time."

"That's because you're always hanging out with that freak."

Natalie's eyes got wide. "What? You and I not going on many dates has _nothing_ to do with Keith."

Raff went to open his mouth to reply, but somebody suddenly screamed, "Two minutes till the New Year!"

As soon as the person screamed this, Raff turned around, away from her. "Where are you going?" asked Natalie, grabbing Raff's arm to stop him. "We're in the middle of having a conversation."

"Need to take a shot with the buddies," he said. "For the New Year."

Natalie felt her eyes well with tears. "What about kissing me at midnight?"

Even though he was angled and Natalie couldn't see his face fully, she knew he had rolled his eyes. "Honestly, you're kind of pissing me off right now. I'll try to be back in time."

And like a fool, Natalie stood there and waited for him. When the clock finally struck midnight and people started cheering and screaming, she knew Raff wasn't coming. She felt so embarrassed. With everything she had she wished she could just break up with him.

But she was too weak. Too scared. Too scared that everything Raff had ever said to her was actually true.

Even if she couldn't gather the courage to break up with him, she had the courage to leave. Before she could convince herself otherwise, she pushed past people and made her way to the front door. As she grabbed her coat and backpack from the closet, she eyed a cooler with some champagne bottles. Smiling to herself, she grabbed two and hastily put them in her backpack.

She knew where she was going to spend her New Year.

Keith's.

* * *

><p>On New Year's Day, after Keith had bought Natalie breakfast (for once they hadn't gone to the diner; instead, they went to an IHOP twenty minutes away), she dropped him off and drove home. It was just turning ten in the morning when she pulled into her driveway; she didn't expect to find anyone in her family awake. On holidays, her family normally slept in until at least noon. So when she found her dad sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee, and staring out the window, she froze in her tracks.<p>

She hadn't told her parents she was going to be out all night, because she had assumed she was going to be home before they got up. And, plus, she was out until four in the morning with Keith almost every night so the thought hadn't really occurred to her.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Natalie began tiptoeing away, hoping she could escape before her dad noticed her. No such luck. She hadn't even made it five feet before her dad cleared his throat and said, "Good Morning, Natalie."

"Uh…morning, Dad," she said, hoping she sounded innocent.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Going to my room?" This came out more as a question and she silently cursed herself. How come she couldn't be sneaky and lie easily like Zach? He was able to get away with _everything._

"So I noticed you didn't come home last night. Where were you?" Pete's eyes trailed over Natalie's clothes and she felt herself blush. She was still wearing Keith's sweatpants and hoodie. (She didn't ever want to take them off. They smelled like Keith and she felt safe.)

"Uh, no, I didn't. I was at Brooke's. I got really tired last night and just decided to seep there. Sorry I didn't call."

Pete nodded. "I thought she was out of town."

Natalie shook her head, a little too hastily. "She…she came back early."

"I see," said Pete, raising his eyebrows as he glanced at Natalie's clothing again. Her dad was not stupid; he had to notice how the clothes she was wearing were way too big for, how they looked nothing like something she or Brooke owned, and how much they looked like boys clothing. He didn't seemed convinced at all and Natalie waited with bated breath for her dad to reprimand her. But he never did. "Well, I hope you had fun."

Natalie thought back to last night. She remembered the party, Raff, their stupid fight, and how she didn't get her midnight kiss. And then she remembered hanging out with Keith and how she had had so much fun she didn't even _care _what had happened with Raff.

She remembered kissing Keith and how her lips still _tingled_ from the touch of his. She thought about how she wanted to kiss Keith again and again and again, even though she knew she shouldn't. Even though she knew how _wrong_ it was.

"I did. I actually did."

"Glad to hear that."

Now that Natalie was done freaking out about the possibility of getting into trouble, she noticed the sadness in her dad's tone. "So what're you doing up so early?"

Pete shrugged. "Thinking."

"About?" she prompted.

"A lot of things, sweetie." He sighed and took a long sip of his coffee.

Natalie stood there, not sure what to do or say. "Do you want to talk about it?" she finally asked.

"No, I'm okay," he sighed.

Natalie nodded and then looked toward the stairs. "Well, I'm gonna go get some sleep. Didn't go to bed very early."

Pete smiled at her, and just as she turned around to go upstairs her dad spoke up. "Hey, Nats?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of starting up a New Year's Day tradition with your old man?"

Natalie grinned. "What do you have in mind?"

"I'm thinking of dinner. Some really greasy pizza." He winked.

"That," started Natalie, "sounds perfect."

* * *

><p>That night, after Natalie had come back from dinner, her mom walked into her room. "Hi," said Natalie, looking up from the book she was reading. "Do you need something?"<p>

"How was dinner with your father?"

Caroline sat next to Natalie on her bed and craned her neck to try and see the book Natalie was reading. Hastily, Natalie tossed the book onto the floor. She did _not_ want her mom to see what she had been reading (it had been one of the books Keith had got her for Christmas). "It was good," she said slowly, a little nervous as to why her mom seemed set on talking.

"Where'd you go? Your father won't tell me."

Natalie bit back a grin. "It's a secret, I guess." She knew why her dad hadn't told her mom where they had gone; Caroline never, ever let them eat pizza.

Caroline sighed. "I wish we'd have secrets like that. I wished you'd talk to me more."

At the sadness in her mom's voice, Natalie turned to look at her. "I talk to you."

"Not like you do with your dad. Or your friends."

"Oh," said Natalie softly. She was surprised her mom was bringing this up; they had never really been that close. "I'm sorry…but we don't really have that kind of relationship."

"I know, but I'm realizing you're not going to be around much longer. You'll be gone in a few years, off to college, and you won't live here anymore. It will be harder to keep in contact with you. I don't want you to grow up and never talk to me." Caroline let out a deep, nervous breath. "I know your dad told you. About what I did and I figured maybe that's the reason you're pushing me away even more."

"You mean about how you _cheated_ on him?"

Caroline wouldn't look into Natalie's eyes. "Yes, about how I c-cheated on your father. I knew as soon as he told you—you started acting differently around me. I don't blame you for acting like that, sweetie. I don't expect you to ever understand why I did it, but I don't want the bad choices I've made ruin what little relationship I have with you."

The thing was, as mad as Natalie was at her mom for cheating on her dad, she _had_ cheated on Raff with Keith. So how could she sit here and be mad at her mom when she was almost doing the same thing?

But what her mom had done was so much _worse_. Natalie had only kissed someone else. Her mom had done far, far worse than that. "I know," said Natalie. "I just…I guess I kind of understand, but it's really hard for me to not be mad. You _broke _Dad's heart."

Caroline sniffed. "I'm sorry that my actions have caused our family so much pain. I promise your father and I are trying to work this out. Could you at least try and talk to me more?"

Natalie turned away, staring outside her window instead. It was getting dark and she could see trees blowing in the wind. "Yeah, sure, Mom. I'll try."

* * *

><p>The first Friday night after school started back up, Natalie drove to Keith's and parked a few houses down from his. She had only been parked for a few seconds when the passenger door flung open and Keith practically tumbled into the passenger's seat. "Holy shit!" exclaimed Natalie, bringing her hand to her heart in shock. "You scared the crap out of me!"<p>

"S-Sorry," panted Keith, as he sat up properly.

Natalie narrowed her eyes at Keith as he situated himself. He was breathing heavily, sucking in air like he couldn't get enough of it, and for some reason his hand was loosely gripping the front of his neck. "Are you okay?" asked Natalie.

"I'm fine," choked Keith.

His voice sounded dry and hoarse. "I don't believe that. You look seriously freaked out. Why are you grabbing your neck like that? You're freaking me out."

At her question, Keith let his hand fall onto his lap. Natalie wasn't sure if it was because she expected to see something or not, but she swore a light bruise was forming on his neck. "I fell."

"You _fell_? How did you fall?"

He nodded or at least tried to. For some reason it looked like it pained him a little. "I-I thought I saw something. It freaked me out and I tripped on something."

"Saw something?" breathed Natalie, goose bumps appearing on her arm. "Like what?"

He was still breathing deeply, but thankfully it seemed like he had caught his breath. "I'm not sure…maybe a person."

"A _person_?" Hastily, she turned to look out her driver's window, tensing as if expecting to see someone lurking in the shadows. "Oh my god, Keith." Quickly, she locked all of her doors.

"I'm probably wrong," he said. "I bet it was just an animal or something."

He wouldn't look her in the eyes, though, and Natalie knew Keith well enough now to know that wasn't a good sign. She had come to know him enough that when he wasn't telling her the complete truth, he didn't look her in the eye. She knew this, because she did it herself. She bit her lip and then asked, "Did you twist your neck when you fell or something?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess." He rubbed the back of his neck. Another suspicious sign.

"Keith," started Natalie. The tone of her voice must have sounded concerned enough because he actually looked at her. "It wasn't Jake, was it?"

"No!" said Keith, too quickly in Natalie's opinion, but she didn't question him. "No, it wasn't him. I'm probably just making all of this up. I didn't sleep much this week and am probably hallucinating."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay," she whispered. As she drove out of the subdivision, she tried not to think about how her heart kept telling her Keith was _lying_. But, he was her friend (maybe even her _best_ friend), and she needed to trust him.

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?" asked Natalie as she stared at Keith. They had only been in the pool for a few minutes, but Natalie swore Keith was shaking more than normal. She wondered if it had to do with what had happened earlier. Nevertheless, she was a little worried. They had been coming to the pool religiously—at least three times a week—since they had started (other than the time Keith was sick) and Keith had seemed fairly comfortable with the water. But tonight it was like he had reverted back to the first time she had brought him.<p>

"I'm _fine_," he pressed. He was standing at the edge of the pool and gripping the side tightly. He hadn't gripped the edge of the pool the last few times.

"Okay," said Natalie. She swam up to him and tried to stop thinking about how much his arms were shaking. "So, I had an idea for tonight."

"Yeah? What's that?"

Natalie bit her lip, debating if she should put this off until next time. But, Keith was looking at her expectantly and she decided it wouldn't hurt to ask. "I was thinking maybe you could try to put your head under the water?" The most Keith had done so far was walk towards the deep end and float in the shallow end. She could tell he was aggravated by his slow progress; she was hoping this would give him more confidence.

"Oh."

"You don't have to. I understand. Like I said, we'll take this as slow as you need."

"No, I want to."

Natalie smiled. "Really? You want to try?"

"Not really." He shrugged. "But…but I should. I have to do it sometime, right?" He chuckled, but it sounded fake to Natalie's ears.

Natalie leaned over to the side of the pool where she had placed two pair of goggles. "Okay, let's go to the middle of the shallow end." Keith followed behind her and when she stopped, he almost crashed into her.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"It's fine," said Natalie cheerfully, hoping to calm Keith down. "Okay, so I was thinking we could go under at the same time. We'll only stay under for a few seconds. Here," she added, handing him the pair of goggles, "wear those. I thought if you could see underwater you might not freak out as much."

"Thanks," said Keith, putting the goggles on. "So, I guess I'm ready."

Grabbing his hand, Natalie twined their fingers together. "On three?" He nodded and she counted off.

Natalie wasn't sure what happened next; all she knew was Keith never made it under. At least fully. And when she surfaced, he was coughing and sputtering. "What happened?"

Keith shook his head and he took his goggles off. "I-I don't know," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I-I freaked out. I freaked out and choked on the water—"

Natalie cut him off. He looked so ashamed and so embarrassed; she felt bad for making him do this. "It's okay," she soothed. She wanted to say something to make him feel better, but wasn't sure what the right words were. "Do you want to try again?" His face and some of his hair were wet, so it looked like he had got part of the way under the water before he had panicked.

He shook his head. "No," he said. "I'm _tired_. I'm just really, really tired. I'm so tired it's hard to focus and being in the water is really freaking me out right now and I don't want to be in the water anymore."

He was shaking more now, and Natalie's only thought was to _get him out of the water_. Without a word, she led him out of the pool. Once he was on dry land, he started to calm down. "Do you want me to take you home?" asked Natalie. "So you can sleep?"

"No!" he interjected quickly. "No. I-I'm fine now. I don't want to go back yet, we can still hang out."

Natalie really wished he'd just go home and sleep, but she knew why he didn't want to and didn't want to force him. An idea came to her and she grinned. "I've got the perfect idea."

"What?" asked Keith curiously.

"Movie night. At my house."

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Natalie halted at the front door of her house. "I'm not allowed to have guys over this late, obviously," she whispered. "So we're going to have to be really quiet. Everyone should be asleep, but if my mom wakes up and hears anything she'll come check on me. And trust me, you do <em>not <em>want to have my mom find you here at this hour."

"Okay," whispered Keith. His eyes sparkled with excitement. It made Natalie smile; Keith grinned back. Quietly, Natalie opened the front door and tiptoed in. She waited for Keith to step inside before she closed and locked the door behind her.

A few minutes later, Natalie let out a sigh of relief when they entered her bedroom. "It's times like these having a bedroom in the basement is plus," said Keith, his voice a little louder than a whisper; he dropped his backpack on the floor before flopping onto Natalie's bed.

"No kidding," laughed Natalie. "So, what kind of snacks do you want for the movies? I can go get the drinks and snacks."

Keith shrugged. "I'm a guy. I'll eat pretty much anything you give me as long as it's not some weird health food crap. Like wheat grass or something." He winked and then scooted to rest his back against her headboard, getting comfortable.

"Well," Natalie laughed, "my mom _is_ a health food freak, but I do have a secret stash downstairs for nights like these. I'll be right back."

Twenty minutes later, they were under the covers with a bunch of snacks and pop resting between them, and a movie playing. "I can't believe that I'm stuck watching chick flicks," moaned Keith.

"Sorry," smirked Natalie. "I know my DVD collection isn't as amazing as yours," she joked.

"You call what you have a collection?" he asked through a mouthful of popcorn. "That pile of DVDs you have is just a bunch of movies with guys you think are hot."

"So?" She rolled her eyes. "Those are the best kind. _Duh_."

"Oh, sorry," said Keith sarcastically, "I should have known."

Two hours later and halfway through their second movie, Natalie's door opened. She tensed, expecting to see one of her parents. "What the hell are you doing?" hissed Natalie when she saw it was only her brother. "Get out of my room."

Zach smirked. "Oops…this is definitely not my room." He laughed like he thought this was the funniest thing he had ever said.

"Are you drunk?" whispered Natalie.

Zach tapped his index to his chin thoughtfully. "Why, yes. Yes, sis, I do think I am."

"Well, get out."

Instead of walking out, though, Zach's eyes got wide. "Holy shit, you have a guy in your bed!"

"Lower your voice! Geez, Zach, you're going to wake Mom and Dad. And that is not something I think you want to happen right now, considering you're drunk."

"And considering you have a boy in your bed. A boy who is not your boyfriend, in case you didn't know. And is _sleeping_."

Natalie turned to her right to look at Keith. Sure enough, he was on his side, facing the wall, fast asleep. It made since as to why he hadn't said or done anything when Zach walked in. She wondered when he had fallen asleep. "Here's what's going to happen, Zach. You're going to get out of my room, go to sleep, and never, ever tell anyone what you witnessed tonight. Got it?"

"Fine," he shrugged. "I really don't want to think about why you have a guy—especially since he's not Raff—in your bed anyway. I'm actually going to forget I ever saw this. Night, sis." He went to turn around but stopped when his hand touched the doorknob. "Oh, and just so you know, Mom, Dad, and Cynthia have something they have to do out of town tomorrow. They have to leave like super early for it. Just incase, you know, your _friend_ is planning on staying the night."

And then, before Natalie could respond, he was gone.

Natalie checked the time; it was already two in the morning. As much as she didn't want to wake Keith—she knew how much he needed to sleep—but she had to take him home before it got too late.

Leaning over his shoulder, she whispered into his ear, "Keith, wake up." He didn't budge. He looked completely dead to the world. "Keith," she spoke again, this time shaking his shoulder, "_wake up._ I need to take you home."

Finally he woke, rolling onto his back before opening his eyes. It was obvious he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. "Did I fall asleep?" he mumbled.

"Yeah," Natalie answered. She was trying _really_ hard not to think about how adorable he looked right now. "And it's getting kind of late. I should probably take you home so you can go to bed."

"Okay," he mumbled. His eyes closed.

"Keith!"

"_What?_" he moaned, eyes still shut.

Natalie sighed. Getting him out of her house and to his was going to be a lot harder than she had anticipated. "You need to get up. I can't carry you out the door, you know."

He pried his eyes open and rubbed at his face before he sat up. He looked a little more awake, but not by much. "Keith," started Natalie as she watched him try hard to stay awake. "How many hours do you think you've slept in the past week?"

"I dunno," he muttered. He was swaying on the bed, and Natalie was worried he was going to fall over. "Maybe like ten hours?"

"Good grief, Keith. You need to sleep more than that." Ten hours? Natalie had no idea that's all he slept. Granted, she knew he didn't sleep a lot, but she had thought he at least took a nap after school everyday like she did.

He just yawned. Standing up, Natalie placed his shoes on her bed. "Put those on. I just have to get a sweater and then we'll go." But by the time she went into her closet, got a sweater, and came out, Keith had lied back down.

Natalie groaned as she walked over to him and shook his shoulders again. "C'mon, Keith. _Get. Up_." This time, though, he didn't wake, only rolled away from her touch. "Well," spoke Natalie out loud, "it looks like you're spending the night."

* * *

><p>The next morning, Natalie woke to find herself snuggled right up to Keith. He was on his back, and her head was practically resting on his chest. When she realized the position she was in, she froze, because the last thing she wanted was Keith waking up with her like this.<p>

Slowly, so she didn't wake Keith, she rolled away from him and got out of bed. Staring at him, she waited to see if he woke. When she was sure she hadn't woke him, she started debating if she should. He probably needed to get home before Melissa realized he wasn't there.

She was still contemplating this when her cell phone starting ringing. Quickly, she fumbled to grab it off her nightstand. As soon as she saw who it was, she felt dread fill her.

"Hi, Melissa," she answered hesitantly.

"Natalie, hi." Melissa sounded frantic and a little out of breath. "I was wondering if you knew where Keith was. I've tried to call him a few times. He's not in his room and he didn't leave me a note or anything. I have no idea where he is and I—"

Natalie wasn't sure how much trouble she was about to get Keith in, but she couldn't lie to Melissa, not when she sounded so scared and so worried. "He's over here," she admitted.

Melissa let out a long, relived sigh. "He is? Thank God."

"I'm sorry," said Natalie. "I probably should've let you know he was here, but I just didn't think…"

"How long has he been there? Can I talk to him?"

Natalie bit her lip. "Uh, he's been here all night. He came over last night to watch movies and fell asleep around midnight. I tried to take him home, but he kept falling back asleep. He's still asleep right now, actually."

"He's sleeping?" asked Melissa. "Really?"

"Yeah, he's been sleeping since like two in the morning." It was then Natalie finally checked the time. It was almost eleven; Keith had been sleeping for almost twelve hours. Natalie was surprised she had been able to sleep as long as she had. "Do you want me to wake him?"

"No," said Melissa quickly. "If he's sleeping, don't wake him. I'm just glad I know where he is. Tell him to call—or a least text me—when he wakes up so I know where he'll be today."

"Sure, I'll let him know."

Once Natalie hung up, and Natalie was pretty sure Keith wasn't in trouble, she decided to let him sleep. While he slept, she played around on her computer. Thirty minutes passed before Natalie heard movement from the bed and knew he was waking up.

Turning around in her computer chair, Natalie faced Keith. "Morning, sunshine," she joked when he finally opened his eyes.

It took him a few minutes to realize where he was, but when he did he shot up in bed. "Oh shit," he cursed. "What am I…when did I…"

Natalie bit her lip to keep from laughing. Keith looked so cute, half awake and confused. "You passed out last night," supplied Natalie. "I tried to take you home around two, but you fell back asleep."

"I'm so sorry," he groaned. "I can't believe I did that. You could've at least kicked me off your bed."

Natalie shrugged. "It was big enough for both of us."

Keith blushed. "What time is it?"

"Almost noon."

"What?!" he exclaimed, hastily kicking off his covers and tumbling out of bed. "My aunt is going to _kill _me if she finds out I was gone last night." Frantically, he found his shoes and started putting them on.

"Uh…she kind of already did."

Keith stopped tying his shoe to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"She called me like a half hour ago. She was freaking out, said she tried to call you or something. Once I told her where you were, she seemed fine. Wasn't mad at all, I don't think."

"Really?" He looked skeptical.

"Yeah, I mean at least from how she sounded to me. She asked me to have you call or text her when you woke up. Just so she knows where you'll be today."

Keith looked extremely relieved. "Okay. Yeah, I'll call her." He grabbed his backpack, which Natalie had put next to the bed, and took his cell phone out. While it was turning on Keith said, "So I'm really sorry for falling asleep like that. I have no idea how that happened. Normally, I don't just pass out like that."

"I think I know," said Natalie. "You told me you had only slept ten hours the whole week, Keith." He blushed. In a softer voice Natalie continued, "Keith, I know you have nightmares, but you really need to sleep more than like two hours a night. That's not healthy."

"Yeah, you don't think I know that? I know it's not healthy, but I just…I only can sleep for so long without getting a nightmare. When I'm super tired—like last night—I can sleep a long time, but any other time I try to sleep I get a nightmare after like two hours. It became enough of a routine I starting setting an alarm clock so I don't sleep longer than two hours. But sometimes I forget to set one or sleep though them."

Natalie smiled sadly. "I wish I could help you."

"You do help me," he whispered. "It's okay, though. I promise. So," he started, changing the subject. "Do you have any plans today? Do you want to do something? I'm going to call my aunt and let her know what I'm doing."

"I do have plans," said Natalie, trying to hide her grin. At Keith's disappointed look she added, "First, they start with me paying you back."

"For what?"

"For breakfast. You bought me breakfast last week. Now it's my turn."

Keith grinned. "I thought I bought you breakfast so you wouldn't tell everyone how you beat me at Mario Cart twenty times in a row."

"It was twenty-five and that's true," mused Natalie. "But you've never had my special pumpkin pancakes and that needs to change. Like today."

* * *

><p>It was five at night when Natalie finally dropped Keith off after spending the whole day with him. She had expected dinner to almost be ready when she got home, but when she opened the front door and she heard voices in the living room, she knew something was wrong.<p>

"Natalie," started Pete, as soon as he saw her enter the living room, "please sit down."

Shaking, she sat down in a leather chair with Cynthia. It was then Natalie noticed the large duffel bag at her dad's feet. "What's going on?" she asked. "Why do you have a suitcase?" Frantically, she glanced over to Zach, who just shrugged his shoulders solemnly.

"Your mother and I," began Pete, "have decided it's best if we take a break for a while."

"What does that mean?" inquired Cynthia. Her voice was tight and Natalie could tell even though Cynthia might not understand what was going on, she knew it was something bad.

"It means, sweetie, that I'm going to go stay somewhere else for a while."

"Where?"

"A hotel. It's only ten minutes away so I'll be close. I can come see any of you guys whenever you want. Or you can come visit me."

Understanding crossed Cynthia's features, and she didn't look happy. "I don't like that."

Natalie glanced over to her mom, who was sitting ramrod straight on the couch, silent. It made Natalie angry. This was _all_ her fault. She wanted to yell at her, tell her everything she had felt and everything she was feeling. But she couldn't in front of her siblings, especially Cynthia, so she kept quiet and let her dad continue talking.

"No one here likes it, but your mom and I are hoping time apart will allow us to think about and understand what we want for our future and relationship."

"Are you guys gonna get a divorce?" wondered Cynthia.

"I don't know," admitted Pete. "This is why we need time apart."

At this, Cynthia jumped off the couch, tears welling in her eyes. "Well, you know what? I think it's stupid. I think this is all stupid stupid _stupid_!" she screamed, her voice cracking at its loud tone. Before anyone could say anything to console her, she ran upstairs, slamming her bedroom door loudly.

Silence filled the living room and no one spoke. Finally, Pete stood up. "I better go." Both Zach and Natalie stood up to say goodbye; Caroline didn't move. Zach hugged Pete then Natalie.

When they pulled away Pete said, staring into Natalie's eyes, "It's going to be okay, Nats."

Natalie shook her head, frantically. "I don't think it is. I really don't." She took a deep breath, choking as she tried to prevent tears. "What I don't understand," she whispered, so only her dad could hear, "is why you're the one leaving. This is all mom's fault. She should be the one to leave."

Pete chose to ignore this. "Natalie, please don't let what's happening ruin the relationship you have with your mother."

"What relationship?" she hissed. "We've never had a good one and this just makes it worse."

"I know, but I don't want this to be the reason you end up resenting her and then drifting apart so much you stop speaking. Just promise me you'll keep that in mind, okay?"

"I'll try." A tear slid down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

"Hey, look at me." Natalie did. "Don't make this seem like it's goodbye, okay? It's _not_. I'm only ten minutes away. No matter what happens between your mother and I, I'm still your _dad_ and I will always love you, Zach, and Cynthia."

"I'll miss you," choked Natalie.

After, she watched through the front window as her dad pulled out of the driveway and disappeared down the street. When he was gone, she turned around to face her mother. "I'm so sorry, Natalie," spoke Caroline. "I had no idea this was how everything would turn out. I just hope, one day, you and your brother and sister can forgive me."

"Forgive you? Are you serious? When we talked the other night, I seriously thought one day I'd be able to forgive you, because I understand—at least to an extent—what you're going through. But this is different. What you did has _ruined _this family. And that is not something I can _ever_ forgive you for. Ever."

* * *

><p><em>I need to talk to you.<em>

Natalie had tried to wait until ten when she and Keith had planned to meet up, but by eight o'clock she thought she was going to go crazy if she didn't have someone to talk to. She thought about calling Brooke, but for some reason she felt like Keith would understand more, so she had texted him.

It only took Keith a few minutes to text back. _Where should I meet you?_

Quickly, she replied. _The gas station near the diner._

Fifteen minutes later, Natalie was sitting in her car with two cups of coffee resting in the cup holders. When Keith arrived a few minutes later, she handed him one as she got in the passenger seat. "Thanks for coming," she said. When she finally got a good look of him and saw how much he was shivering, she added, "I'm sorry, I didn't think…I should've picked you up."

Keith took a sip of his coffee before replying, "Don't worry about it. It's only a few blocks."

"Yeah, but it's freezing."

"I survived, didn't I?" he smirked. Then his expression got serious. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "My-my dad left."

"Left?" he breathed. "What do you mean?"

"He went to a hotel. I think my parents are going to get a divorce." She took a sip of her coffee, saving the warmth. Even though the heat was on full blast, the cold from outside was still seeping into the car. She wished she had a better location for them to talk, but her car was the only place she knew they would be completely alone.

"I'm really sorry," said Keith. "Is there something I can do?"

Natalie shook her head. "No, but thanks. Just being here and talking to me is all I need."

Keith smiled. "Well, I'm glad to be of service."

They both took another sip of their coffee and then Natalie muttered, "I wish this wasn't happening. I feel like I've had to pick a side. Or at least I will have to. I've always been closer to my dad, and now I just feel like my mom and I are never going to get along. I don't know if I can ever forgive her—for what she's done. She's ruined our family." Natalie paused. "You know, you're kind of lucky. You're parents are gone. In Europe, at least. You don't have to worry about—" Natalie cut herself at the realization of what she had just said.

"Lucky?" breathed Keith.

"Keith, no, that's not what I meant…I was just talking and…I'm upset and—"

"Lucky? You think I'm _lucky_? You know what I think is lucky? Lucky is still having both your parents. Do you have any idea how much I wish my parents were still here?"

Natalie felt tears well in her eyes for the second time that day. "Keith, I didn't mean that. I—where are you going?" she frantically asked as he placed his hand on the door handle and opened the door. Cold air burst in but Natalie barely felt it.

"I-I need to go," he muttered quickly. His voice sounded strange—almost strained—and very unlike him.

"Keith, I'm sorry. That-that came out wrong."

He didn't respond; instead, he got out of the car mumbling, "I'll see you later," before slamming the door and walking away.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! So, dear readers, I'd love to hear your speculations on where you think I'm going to take this story. Any ideas on what you think is going to happen next? Also, is there anything, like a specific scene, you'd like to see?_

_ Thanks again for reading and please review!_


	15. All Of You

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You guys are awesome!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen: All Of You<strong>

Hesitantly, Keith walked through the front door of his aunt's house, preparing himself for her—or possibly Jake—to start yelling at him. He had a feeling, even though his aunt hadn't sounded mad on the phone earlier, he was in _big_ trouble.

Keith found his aunt in the kitchen making dinner. Luckily, it looked like Jake wasn't over. Keith hadn't thought he was, since his truck hadn't been in the driveway, but sometimes Melissa picked him up for some reason. "Hey, Keith, " said Melissa as he entered the kitchen. She was facing away from him, sautéing something in the wok, so he couldn't see her expression. "Dinner should be done in less than ten minutes."

He bent down to greet Bailey before saying, "Cool. I'm starving." Nervously, he stood by the kitchen table, expecting his aunt to start yelling at him any second. He was a little surprised she wasn't yelling at him already; he wasn't sure if this was a good or bad sign. If she was going to yell at him, he'd rather she do it now so he could get it over with. "What're we having?"

"Stir fry," she said, turning around to face him. "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah," he answered slowly. When she smiled and asked him what he wanted to drink, he couldn't take it anymore. "How much trouble am I in?" he asked as he dropped his backpack by the basement door and took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Trouble?" repeated Melissa as she handed him a Mountain Dew. "What makes you think that?"

"Uh….because I accidently slept over at Natalie's."

"Oh. I'm not mad about that, Keith."

"You're not?" he gasped.

Melissa shook her head. "Why would I be? Yes, I was extremely worried and am a little upset you didn't tell me you were going over to Natalie's, but I trust her and you're a teenager. Teenagers hang out with their friends."

"Yeah, but she's a _girl_."

A faint blush bloomed on Melissa cheeks. "And? So what? Just because she's a girl shouldn't mean you can't have a sleepover with her." Melissa paused and then added, "And plus, when Natalie said you were actually _sleeping_, there was no way I was going to wake you up." Keith averted his eyes away from his aunt. He _really _hoped she didn't start talking about his sleeping schedule again. Luckily, she didn't mention it and continued, "Anyway, no, I'm not mad. But if you're going to go hang out with one of your friends, please tell me. Especially if you think you're going to sleep over."

"Okay, sure," said Keith. He wasn't exactly sure how he was going to do that. He definitely couldn't tell his aunt he was going over to hang out with Natalie every night until four am. Especially on school nights. But he figured he wouldn't be falling asleep at Natalie's again any time soon. It wouldn't happen because he wouldn't let it.

Silence filled the kitchen as Melissa finished cooking dinner and she didn't speak again until they were eating. "Can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Uh, I guess?"

Melissa took a sip of her water before she spoke. "Are you and Natalie dating?"

Keith almost choked on his Mountain Dew. "What? Why would you think that?"

Melissa shrugged. "It was just a question, sweetie. She's over a lot…and I was just wondering."

"No, we're just friends," said Keith quickly. "She has a boyfriend." He wasn't sure why he felt the need to add that last statement. What did it even mean? If Natalie wasn't dating Raff would he want to date her? Even though he had promised himself three months ago he would never get attached again? He wondered if he was too late for that. That he already was attached.

Melissa nodded. "Oh, yeah, that's right. That Raff kid you got in a fight with?"

"Yeah. Him." He took a huge bit of stir fry and then added, once he had swallowed, "Can we stop talking about this, though? It's awkward."

Melissa laughed, t her expression turning serious. "Sure. That reminds me, I've been meaning to tell you something, and it keeps slipping my mind. It's about…about your old house."

"Did you sell it?" inquired Keith, dread filling him. He couldn't help how much he _didn't _want it to be true.

"No," said Melissa and Keith visibly relaxed. "I decided to wait to sell it for a few months."

"Why?"

"I thought you might want to go back there. One last time."

Keith leaned against the back of his chair. "Really? Isn't that expensive?"

His aunt shrugged. "I have the money. It's okay. I figure we can talk about selling it next summer. What do you think?"

"Yeah, okay," he muttered.

As they finished dinner, Keith couldn't think of anything but his house. He wondered if he would ever be able to go back. He knew he needed—wanted—to go back one last time. For some closure at least. But he didn't know when that time would come. He didn't know if he'd be able to emotionally handle going back to his old town, his old house, his old _life_.

He just knew he needed to go back one last time before the house was gone for good.

* * *

><p>As soon as Keith had walked away and left Natalie in her car, guilt filled him. It was an emotion he was so use to feeling—some days guilt was<em> all<em> he felt—and he wanted so badly for it to _go away_ and never, ever come back.

He knew he shouldn't have gotten so mad at Natalie for what she had said. She had only been venting; she hadn't meant to say what she had, but it had upset him so much. Ever since he had lost his parents, he heard, on almost a daily basis, people at school complain about their parents and it made him _so mad_ because he would give anything—_anything_—to have his mom yell at him, for his dad to ground him.

Once he got back into his room and warmed up, he tried to call Natalie to apologize. She was probably blaming herself for what had happened and he didn't want that. But her phone went straight to voicemail.

That night, he tried to keep himself awake by watching television but nothing good was on and he found himself falling asleep earlier than normal.

Two hours later, though, he woke up from a nightmare.

He stayed up the rest of the night. It wasn't hard. The disturbing images from his nightmares were enough to keep him wide awake.

At eight in the morning, Keith finally trekked upstairs to the kitchen to make coffee; he hoped the caffeine would wake him up a little. Just as he was about to pour himself a cup, his phone notified him of a new text. It was from Natalie.

_I'm at your front door. Answer?_

Quietly, as to not wake his aunt, Keith walked over and opened the front door. Standing on his aunt's front porch was Natalie. "Hi," she said when the door opened a few inches. "Please, _please _don't close the door on me. I-I wanted to say—"

"Why would I close the door on you?"

Natalie's eyes glistened and Keith really hoped she didn't start crying. He hated seeing her cry. "Because you're mad at me."

"I'm not—"

"Before you say anything," interrupted Natalie, "let me speak. Okay?"

Keith nodded. "Okay."

"I-I'm really sorry for what I said last night. I was up all last night and I just…I couldn't figure out the right words to apologize. I finally realized the best words were 'I'm sorry.' So, Keith, I'm sorry." She took a deep breath and then added, "But, in case those words aren't enough, I decided to bribe you."

She picked a box off the ground Keith hadn't seen before and opened it. Inside was a pie with the words 'I'm sorry,' written in yellow frosting.

"Is that Mystery Pie?" asked Keith.

"Of course," said Natalie. The corners of her mouth lifted like she was about to smile, but she stopped herself before a real one formed.

"Natalie," started Keith and he hated the way she tensed, "I was never mad at you."

"W-what?" she stammered.

"I'm sorry I walked away like that. I shouldn't have. But, I was upset and I…I don't like people seeing me upset, I guess. I may have seemed mad, and for that I'm sorry, but I was just upset and I'm sorry. I knew you were upset, too, and I shouldn't have left you."

"So you don't hate me?"

"No," whispered Keith. "I could never hate you."

Before Keith could react, Natalie placed the pie on the ground before throwing herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around him, and burying her face against his neck. Keith could feel the small puffs of her breath against his skin. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't my friend," she mumbled. "I'd probably be more of a mess than I am now."

"You're not a mess," said Keith, hesitantly hugging her back.

Natalie let out a tiny sarcastic laugh. "You're too kind." A few seconds later, she pulled away.

Sensing Natalie didn't want to leave (not that he wanted her to) Keith asked, "Have you had any breakfast?" She shook her head. "I just made some coffee. I was thinking we could have that and Mystery Pie for breakfast."

"That sounds amazing," she said.

And when she grinned, her entire face lit up.

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, Keith and Natalie were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and eating the Mystery Pie right out of the box. Well, Natalie was eating it like a normal person. Keith on the other hand was practically shoveling it in his mouth.<p>

"I think you should slow down," commented Natalie.

Keith swallowed a huge forkful before he looked to Natalie. "What? Why?"

Natalie nodded toward the pie. "Uh, because you've eaten like one fourth of the pie in only five minutes. You're going to make yourself sick."

Keith rolled his eyes. "Not gonna happen. I could eat this whole pie and be fine."

"Sure you could," laughed Natalie before taking another bite.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Keith spoke up. "So, how's it at home? Weird?"

Natalie groaned. "You have no idea. I don't think Cynthia really understands what's going on and Zach, well, he left last night and hasn't been home since. It's especially awkward with my mom. I-I haven't really talked to her sense."

"Why?" wondered Keith.

Natalie shrugged. "Because I'm kind of mad at her."

"Because she cheated?"

"Yeah," started Natalie. "I dunno. No matter how hard I try not to be mad at her she was the one that caused all of this." Keith stared at her. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Can I," started Keith hesitantly. "Can I give you some advice?"

"Yeah, of course."

Taking a deep breath Keith said, "If there's one thing I've learned in the past few months it's to not take things for granted. Don't let circumstances—even a big one like your mom cheating on your dad—affect your relationships. Especially the ones you have with your parents. I think giving your mom a second chance would be something you might want to think about. Don't do things you may one day regret. You don't want to wake up one day and realize you wanted too long. Does that make sense?"

Natalie gave him a soft smile. "Yes, partner, it does. And I promise I'll think about it. I don't think I can forgive my mom and give her a second chance now, but maybe one day soon I will."

Keith grinned. "Cool."

He went to take another bite of pie, but Natalie placed her hand on his to stop him. "Keith?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>"Okay, Keith," started Al, "it's February. Today marks your fifth session with me and you have said nothing to me—except some sarcastic comments—since we've met. What do you think about talking today? You've got to be sick of hearing my voice all the time."<p>

Keith stared blankly at Al. January had passed slowly, Keith wasn't sure why. It was as if time was mocking him somehow. He seemed paralyzed by time and he hated it. Everyday seemed to be harder to deal with. He thought time was supposed to make grieving easier, but he only felt like he was missing his parents more each day.

"_No_," said Keith firmly, glancing at the bookcases. During one of his previous, extremely boring sessions, Keith had asked Al if he had read all the books on his shelves. He said yes. Keith was sure he was lying.

Al didn't look pleased with Keith's response. "Keith, you do realize your aunt is paying a lot of money for you to be here, right?"

"That's not my problem. Maybe you shouldn't charge so much."

Al chuckled and it pissed Keith off. "You make a good point." He paused and then added, "You do realize your aunt will make you come see me until you show some progress, right?"

"Can't you just lie to her?"

"Why would I do that?"

Keith kept his gaze purposefully away from Al. "Because I will _never_ get better, so me being here is a waste of your time, my time, and my aunt's money."

"What makes you think you won't get any better?" asked Al, leaning forward in his chair.

Keith rolled his eyes. "My parents are _dead_. You really expect things to get better?"

"Yes," said Al, "things will get better. It will take time and I won't lie to you, you'll probably never be the same person you were before your parents' death, but you _will _be able to learn to move on." Keith rolled his eyes again. "You don't have to believe me. I understand that right now you don't think you'll ever be able to get rid of the pain, but trust me—"

"Trust you?" spat Keith. "How can I trust you? How do you have any idea what I'm going through? Are your parents dead?"

Al sadly shook his head. "No, they're not—"

"Then don't tell me you understand what I'm going through. You have no idea what it's like to lose your parents. And you especially don't know what it's like to be the reason they died." Keith stopped suddenly, aware of how much he had said. He cursed himself, he wasn't supposed to say anything, but Al had really pissed him off.

"Do you blame yourself for their deaths, Keith?"

"That is the stupidest question I've ever heard," growled Keith, his voice cracking at the last word.

"Why was that a stupid question?"

"Of course I blame myself. How stupid are you? _I _was the one driving."

"Okay," started Al thoughtfully, "so you think if either your mom or dad had been driving, the accident wouldn't have happened?"

"No," said Keith, voice soft, "it wouldn't have. If they would've been driving, they would still be here." There was a burning behind his eyes and he wanted it to go away. He didn't want to be here anymore; he didn't want to be talking about this, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get himself to leave. He didn't understand why.

"Keith, it was an accident. An _accident_. It wasn't your fault an oncoming car slid on some ice and hit your car. It wasn't your fault."

That was something Keith would never, ever believe. He would always know he was the reason his parents were dead. "Whatever."

"When you're aunt called me to tell me about you, she did mention you couldn't drive, that driving makes you panic? Is that still true?"

Keith glared at him. "I dunno."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I meant I don't know," huffed Keith. "I don't know means I. Don't. Know. I don't know because I tried to drive after the accident and I freaked out and haven't tried since."

"How does that make you feel?"

Keith let out a sarcastic laugh. "How does that make me feel? It makes me feel _pathetic_. Is that what you want to hear? You want to hear how everything just…everything just—" Keith cut himself off; he honestly couldn't trust himself to say anything else without the fear of him breaking down. That made him feel pathetic, too.

Al waited patiently as Keith tried to calm himself down. After a few minutes Al said, "It looks like our time is up. We made progress today, Keith. I look forward to seeing you next week."

Keith didn't believe Al. All he felt was exhausted.

* * *

><p>As soon as Keith got back from his counseling session, he found himself walking into the garage and making his way over to his truck. (Melissa had cleaned out the garage a few months to make a space for it.)<p>

Ever since Al had brought up the fact Keith couldn't drive, Keith couldn't stop wondering if the statement still rang true. Would he still have a panic attack when getting into his car? Or would he be able to drive away, far away without a care in the world? All he knew was he_ needed_ to know.

Keith wasn't sure why, but it felt like if he could just get in his truck and drive down the street he would prove something even though he wasn't sure what that something was and to whom he was trying to prove this something to. Maybe Al. Maybe his aunt.

Maybe even himself.

But as soon as he put his key into the lock to open the door, he started shaking uncontrollably. He was shaking so violently he almost dropped his keys. Still, he forced himself to get in his truck, no matter how much he wanted to run back into the house. He could do this.

Once in his seat, he tried to calm himself down. He knew if he didn't calm down enough to cease his shaking a little there was no way he was going to be able to turn the car on, let alone drive.

But five minutes later he wasn't any calmer than he had been when he first got in. Truthfully, he felt like the longer he sat in the seat the more freaked out he got.

Deep down, he wished Natalie was with him. He felt stupid and weak for thinking that, but she always knew how to calm him down. But she wasn't with him, and he needed suck it up and get this over with.

Figuring he wasn't going to calm down any, that he was only freaking out more the longer he sat in the seat, he tried to turn his car on. But his hands were shaking so much he couldn't get the key in the ignition and finally had to give up.

He was so angry with himself. How was he ever going to drive again if he couldn't even calm down enough to put the keys in the ignition? Was he ever going to be able to drive again, or was he going to be terrified of driving the rest of his life?

"Keith?" At the sound of his aunt's voice, Keith jumped, dropping his keys, which fell near his feet. When had she arrived? And had he really not heard her open the door? "Sweetie," she began softly, "what are you doing?"

He swallowed thickly. "I-I was trying to drive," he admitted.

Gently, Melissa grabbed his arm and guided him out of the car and inside the house; he didn't try to resist her. His aunt didn't say a word until Keith was sitting at the kitchen table. "You okay?" she asked, staring at him nervously.

"Yeah," lied Keith. "'M fine."

"I can tell you're mad at yourself," started Melissa cautiously, "but you need time. You'll be able to drive again. I promise."

"Okay," he muttered.

"Do you believe me?"

"Yeah, sure."

He lied. He didn't believe her at all.

* * *

><p>"Keith, finally! Guess what? I just came up with the <em>best<em> idea. Ever." Keith hadn't even had time to sit down at their normal booth at the diner before Natalie had started speaking.

"Oh, really?" asked Keith as he sat down. "What's that?" There was already a pot of coffee on the table, so Keith fixed himself a cup as he waited for Natalie to answer.

"It has to do with one of our quest ideas."

"Which one?" wondered Keith as he added a packet of sugar to his coffee. He was trying to remember what her list had entailed, but she spoke before he could start guessing.

"Well…about that. Just hear me out, okay?"

"Sure," Keith grinned. He could tell she was up to something and it excited him.

"So, you remember how one of my quest ideas is a road trip to Chicago?"

Keith took a sip of coffee before answering, "Yup, I do remember that."

"I think we should go this weekend. I know this is totally last minute, but ever since I woke up this morning I've had the horrible urge to just get away. And then I was sitting here, thinking of our quest list, remembered the Chicago one, and thought it was the perfect idea! What do you think?"

Her eyes were sparkling with excitement; Keith didn't ever want to stop staring. "Hmm…I don't know…."

"Please?" begged Natalie. "I promise it will be fun!"

"I don't know," repeated Keith. He bit his lip, trying to look like he was in deep thought.

"Pretty please? With a cherry on top?" She pouted and then quickly added, "We'd leave early tomorrow morning, and I promise we'll be back before dawn on Sunday. You can even tell Melissa you're spending the night at my place, then you don't have to worry about us getting home too late in the morning."

Keith laughed. "No need for any explanation, partner. I think a road trip sounds awesome."

* * *

><p>They left Saturday at nine in the morning. It was a five-hour drive, after all, and they wanted to get an early start. Like Natalie had suggested, Keith told his aunt he was spending the night at Natalie's. Natalie told her parents she was going to be at Brooke's and wouldn't be home until really late.<p>

As soon as they got on the highway (after stopping at the doughnut drive thru), Keith felt _free_. Even though it was the beginning of February, he rolled his window down, letting the cold air surround him, making him feel alive.

In that moment—for a just a few seconds—he felt really and truly happy. It took his breath away, the feeling, because it was a feeling he had known so well three months ago, but now seemed foreign to him.

The only problem? The feeling didn't last long enough.

Keith felt bad Natalie had to drive the entire way, but he was grateful she hadn't asked or suggested they swap. Remembering how he had reacted last night, driving was not an option.

When they were only an hour away from Chicago Keith asked, figuring Natalie had an entire schedule planned, "So where are we going first?"

Natalie shrugged and surprised Keith when she said, "I don't know, partner. Any ideas?"

"Well," started Keith, a small smile gracing his face as he looked out of the window, towards the endless road. "We've got a road in front of us and nothing but opportunity, right?" Keith glanced over to see Natalie's reaction. "We can go anywhere, really."

She _smiled_.

* * *

><p>"Oh my god," giggled Natalie as she got into her car. "I can't believe you ate that entire chili dog."<p>

Keith groaned as he buckled himself in. They had arrived in Chicago around two p.m. and had spent the afternoon shopping and stopping at random places to tour. For dinner, they had stopped off at a fast food place called Superdawg. Apparently, they were known for their huge chili dogs. And, apparently, Keith had eyes bigger than his stomach and thought he could eat the whole thing. He had told this to Natalie, so of course he had to eat the entire thing. No matter how much he felt like throwing up right now.

"All I ask," started Keith, "is to please not mention food for at least the next ten minutes, okay?"

Natalie pouted. "Why not? I want to talk about how much food you ate at Superdawg—"

"Your mouth is zipped right now. No more. Zilch."

Natalie sighed dramatically. "Ugh, fine. Spoil sport." She stopped talking, which surprised Keith. He had been sure she was going to keep talking about food, just to spite him. But…her silence only lasted ten minutes. Just as they got onto the highway, she started talking again. "So, do you think eating that entire chili dog counts as one of your quests?"

"What do you mean?" mumbled Keith. His head was resting on the cool car window and he didn't move. Honestly, he didn't think he could move even if he tried.

"Don't you remember what you put down?" asked Natalie. Even though it was dark out and he wasn't even facing her, Keith knew she must've rolled her eyes. "One of your quests was to win a food eating contest. I mean, I know it was really only against yourself, but does it count?"

"Hell yes it counts," stated Keith. "Even though the food was amazing, I will never try and eat that much food again. There is no way I will ever participate in a food-eating contest. Actually, I'd be fine to never eat again."

Natalie giggled before she turned the radio on. For the next two hours, Keith dozed on and off, making sure he didn't fully fall asleep. It was hard, but the last ting he wanted was to have a nightmare in the car, in front of Natalie. And given how many he had been having lately, sleep was not an option.

A few minutes later, Natalie whispered his name; she must've thought he was asleep. "Yeah?" he answered right away, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"Hi," said Natalie. Keith could tell she was trying to sound more cheerful than she really was.

"What's wrong?" asked Keith.

Natalie bit her lip. "I'm getting really tired. I can't keep my eyes open. There's no way I'm going to make it back. I think trying to drive ten hours a day is too much for me. Plus, I didn't take a nap today like I normally do. We still have like two and half hours to go, there's no way I can do that."

"Oh."

Keith tensed because she knew what Natalie was about to ask. "What should we do? Do you think…do you think you could drive?"

Keith shook his head quickly, taking his gaze off Natalie, feeling ashamed. He didn't know how to answer her. "I-I could try…" he trailed off. He didn't know why he had said that; he knew he couldn't. "Actually, no. I don't think I can. I tried to drive yesterday, and it wasn't pretty. I'm really sorry, but trust me, I can't drive."

"No problem," said Natalie sincerely. "It's okay. Really." And Keith knew it was by the sound of her voice. "Should we try and find a hotel?"

Keith agreed and Natalie pulled off at the next exit. Thirty minutes later they were driving down an empty road, defeated and exhausted. "This is the worse possible time to not be eighteen."

"I totally should've lied to that one girl at that last hotel. She looked like she had no idea what she was doing. I can't believe I said I wasn't old enough."

"Whatever, that place was creepy and disgusting. There probably would've been like spiders in the bed." Natalie shuttered as she stopped at a red light; she turned to Keith. "What should we do? We can't get into any hotel because apparently this is the only town ever that actually IDs people."

Keith looked around and pointed toward an almost-empty parking lot. "You said you wanted a road trip. Spending the night in a Wal-Mart parking lot is definitely something you have to experience."

An extremely skeptical looked crossed Natalie's face. "You want us to sleep in _my car_ in a _parking lot_?"

Keith shrugged. "Why not? It sounds fun! It _will _be fun. Promise."

The light turned green and Natalie drove to the next street and turned left into the Wal-Mart parking lot. "Have you ever done this?" she wondered, scoping out a parking spot that was far enough away people wouldn't be staring into her car, but still near some form of light.

Keith paused for a minute, not sure how to answer. His momentarily silence must've answered the question for her because she exclaimed, "I knew it! You've never done it! We could get kidnapped, Keith!" She parked in a spot and turned off the car.

"Partner," chuckled Keith, "it'll be fine. Are you in?"

It took Natalie a few minutes. "I'm in," she said, but then added, "But I'm telling you now. You do _not_ leave my side. Not under any circumstances. Got it?"

"Got it."

* * *

><p>They spent close to an hour shopping at Wal-Mart for items they would need for the night. They got one sleeping bag and two cheap blankets along with some bottled water. Figuring he was going to have a hard enough time trying to stay awake, Keith bought an energy drink as well. He was going to need all the help he could get if he wanted to stay awake the whole night.<p>

Once they got back to the car, Keith folded the seats to give themselves room to stretch out. Then, he unzipped the sleeping bag to use as padding. The bed didn't look all that comfortable, but Keith figured it could've been worse.

They hadn't been situated in their makeshift bed for more than a few minutes when Natalie spoke up, "Let's play a game."

"What kind of game?" asked Keith, popping open his energy drink and taking a long sip of it.

Natalie squinted her eyes at him. They were close enough to a lamppost that Keith could still see her face fairly well. "Why did you buy that again?"

Keith raised his eyebrows. "Why do you think?"

Frowning, Natalie said, "Do you really think you're going to be able to stay up all night?

"Probably not," he admitted. "But I should at least try." It looked like Natalie desperately wanted to remark on this, but she held her tongue. Wanting to change topics, Keith asked, "So what kind of game?"

"A question game. You wanna play?" She scooted closer to him; he could feel her warm body against his.

"I guess," started Keith, a little wary at what question she might ask him, "but I thought you were tired?"

Natalie let out a tiny breath; she was so close to him, Keith could feel it against his neck. "I am, but sleeping in my car in the middle of a parking lot is exciting! I don't want to go to sleep yet."

"That does make sense." He chuckled. "This may be the only time you ever experience this, you wouldn't want to waste it sleeping. So how does this game work?"

"We ask each other ten questions."

"Are there any rules?"

Natalie nodded. "Hmm…nope."

"This sounds like a game you just made up."

"So, what if I did?" defended Natalie. Then quickly added, "I'll ask you questions first." She paused for a second. "What's your favorite color?"

Keith was surprised she asked such an unoriginal question; he was sure she was going to ask him rather personal ones right away. "Yellow."

"Yellow?" repeated Natalie.

"Yes, yellow." Keith winked at her, but he wasn't sure she could see. "You?"

"Purple," she said. "_Duh_. And you're suppose to wait until your turn to ask me questions."

"That doesn't seem fair," commented Keith, but she ignored him.

The next few questions were just as simple and unoriginal as the first, but when she got ready to ask her fifth question, Keith knew, by the way she paused for a few seconds that it was going to be a more person one. "What are you most afraid of?"

Silence filled the tiny car as Keith debated the question. He needed a few seconds to think about it; he wanted to give Natalie an honest answer. "Being alone," he finally answered. "I'm most afraid of being alone."

"I'm sorry," whispered Natalie. "But you won't ever be alone. I promise you that. You have your aunt and-and you have me."

"You're right," whispered Keith, a smile growing on his face. Keith wished he could believe Natalie completely when she said this, but he didn't. Everyday he woke with the fear his aunt would get fed up with him and he'd end up in some type of foster care. Everyday he woke up worrying that Natalie would find out about his secret and he'd lose her. He didn't know what he'd do if he lost Natalie's friendship.

He'd have nothing worth living for.

"Okay, next question. Who was the first girl that you kissed? How old were you? Was she pretty?"

"You do realize that's three questions in one, right? You've almost maxed out your ten questions."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Fine," exclaimed Natalie. "I don't care. It's worth it; I want to know."

Keith thought about refusing to answer, but he wasn't sure that would work. She would bug him about it until he told her. The problem? She had been the first girl he had kissed. "I was sixteen."

"Really? Cool! Was she pretty?"

"Yes, she is beautiful."

"Is?" prompted Natalie, but when Keith was silent, she didn't repeat it and instead asked, "So what was her name? How did the kiss go?"

"I think you've maxed out your ten questions."

"Shut up!" she exclaimed. "Tell me."

"I'm not sure I should."

"Why not?" she wined. "Just _tell_ me."

Keith felt himself start to sweat even though the car was fairly cold. Things could get seriously awkward very soon. "The first girl I kissed was…was you."

Silence permeated the car and Keith felt extremely uncomfortable. Just as he was about to break the awkward silence Natalie whispered, sounding shocked and almost dazed, "The first girl you kissed was _me_?"

"Yeah," said Keith, voice choking on the word. "It was you. You're the only girl I've kissed, actually."

"But you said the girl you kissed was beautiful."

He held Natalie's gaze, wanting to make sure she was looking into his eyes, before saying, "That's because she is."

* * *

><p>Keith woke up mid-scream, heart hammering, almost paralyzed with fear. He tried to tell himself it had just been a nightmare and he was okay. But then.<p>

Then he saw his surroundings.

He was in a _car_. As soon as he realized where he was the only thoughts that registered in his mind were he needed to _get out_ and this wasn't a nightmare. It was _real_.

He was going to drown.

He was going to die.

Frantically, he rolled towards the side door and tried to open it. It wouldn't budge. He didn't know what to do. He was panicking so badly he couldn't catch his breath. He couldn't _breathe_.

Vaguely, he thought he heard someone calling his name, but ignored it. Now wasn't the time to get distracted; he needed to get out. He wasn't sure how long he spent pushing at the door handle before he suddenly tumbled out of the car and landed hard on the ground.

The _ground_.

As soon as his mind registered that he was on the ground, safe, and not fighting for his life in the water, he was able to think more clearly. But no matter how much he tried to tell himself he was okay, that it really had been just a nightmare, he couldn't seem to calm down. He was taking in deep, shaking breaths; he couldn't seem to get enough air; his body was trembling.

"Keith? Oh my god, oh my god," cried Natalie frantically. "Are you okay?" She gripped his arm gently, as if she wanted him to know she was there. It kind of helped. Her touch, her voice. It seemed to be what he needed and he started to feel himself calm down. "It's okay," continued Natalie. "You're okay. Just breathe."

Keith wasn't sure how long it took him to calm down enough to speak, but knew it must've been at least ten minutes, given how worried Natalie looked. "I'm okay," he finally choked out. "I'm sorry."

"Do you need anything?" asked Natalie.

They were still sitting on the ground. All Keith wanted to do was get back in the car where it was warmer. "No-no, I'm okay."

Natalie didn't say anything until they were both back in the car and under the covers. "Keith?"

His breathing was getting under control and he almost felt normal. "Yeah, partner?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Keith wasn't stupid, he had a feeling Natalie was going to ask him about what had just happened. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell her. "Sure."

"Did you just have a nightmare? Is that why you panicked?"

Keith sighed. "Yeah, that was because of a nightmare." He felt so ashamed and pathetic, but was relived to see Natalie didn't seem to think those things.

"What are your nightmares about?"

"The accident, mostly," replied Keith, voice soft.

"The one you got in a few months ago?"

"That exact one."

Hesitantly, Natalie asked, "Can I ask one more question to our game from earlier?"

"I guess," he mumbled.

"Will you tell me about the accident? You don't have to," she hastily added, "but I just…you're my best friend and I just...it's hard to explain. I just I want to know. I-I want to know all about you, as weird as that sounds."

Momentarily, Keith was speechless because _she had called him her best friend_. Once the surprise wore off and her question finally sunk in, he took a few minutes to contemplate his answer. "Yeah, okay," he agreed, gaze focused on the sky outside. "I'll tell you about the accident."

* * *

><p>A week had passed since Keith had told Natalie about the accident. And not once had Natalie suggested they go to the pool. Keith knew it wasn't because of the time he freaked out and they had gone to watch movies at her house instead, because they had gone almost half a dozen times since then (Keith had still not been able to go under the water).<p>

Finally, Keith couldn't take it anymore; he had to know why Natalie didn't seem to want to go to the pool anymore. So when Saturday night came around and Natalie picked him up (it was snowing out and she refused to let him walk the short distance to the diner), he asked, "Hey, partner?"

"Yes?"

"Question."

She laughed. "I have an answer. Uh...hopefully."

As she drove down the road, Keith asked, "Is there a reason you don't want to go to the pool anymore? With me?"

"What?" she breathed. "What do you mean?"

"Well," started Keith, taking a deep breath, "considering we use to go at least every three days and we haven't gone in the past week, I've been a little curious…you haven't even mentioned it."

To Keith's surprise, Natalie stopped her car in front of a random house. "I feel bad," she admitted, biting her lip nervously.

"Why do you feel bad?"

"Because you told me about the accident. I-I had no idea it was that bad, that that's why you were so terrified of water. I feel like I forced you to swim and that you aren't ready."

Keith shook his head, trying to look her in the eyes but she wouldn't meet his. "You didn't force me. As strange and impossible as it may seem, I do want to learn to not be terrified of the water at some point. The only thing you have done so far is help me."

"Really?"

"Really."

Placing the palm of her hand against her eyes she mumbled, "I can't get the accident out of my mind. I haven't been able to comprehend how close you came to actually _dying_. I can't stop thinking about it and I can't believe how I've been making you go in the water and—"

Keith felt guilty. He had told Natalie everything about the accident. In detail, too. But he had left out the most important part.

That his parents had been with him.

That they had died.

When he had told her the story, he wanted so badly to tell her what really happened. How his parents had died, but he just couldn't. He didn't know when, if ever, he'd get the courage to tell her how he had killed his parents. And even if he did somehow manage to gain to courage to tell her, it felt it was too late. What would she do if she found out he had been lying since he first met her? He didn't want to think about it.

"I'm okay," he said, but it felt like a lie, too. He wasn't okay; he was far from okay. "I'm alive and I'm okay." She gave him a soft smile and he added, "So, just for your piece of mind, I do want to learn to swim. In fact, I was thinking we could go tonight. I'm ready to try going under the water again."

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, Keith was walking close to the deep end. He was having a hard time concentrating, though (which may have been a good thing; he wasn't really thinking about the fact that he was actually in the water), because Natalie hadn't been prepared to go the pool and only had a bikini in her gym bag.<p>

And Keith could. not. stop. staring.

He could see so much of her skin and it looked so so soft and even better when wet.

"Keith? You okay?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed, voice louder than expected. He really hoped she hadn't caught him staring at her chest, but he really couldn't help it. Her bathing suit top left little to the imagination. "I'm great!"

"Okay…" mumbled Natalie as she handed him his goggles.

Once both of them hand their goggles on, Natalie grabbed Keith's hand. "On three?" Keith nodded; he could feel his heat beating in his chest rapidly. He hoped he didn't pass out, because that would be really embarrassing.

Natalie counted down and Keith could feel himself shaking, but when she finally counted to three, he didn't freeze, he didn't stop; instead, he let her drag him under the surface.

* * *

><p>"It's time to celebrate!" laughed Natalie an hour later. They had spent an entire hour in the pool. Keith had gone under the water almost a dozen times.<p>

He felt almost free, like a small weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He even felt almost…happy. "How are we going to do that?" he laughed.

Natalie bit her lip in concentration. "I know!" Grabbing his arm, she dragged him to the other side of the pool and towards a door. "Have you ever been in a wet sauna?"

"Of course I have," said Keith.

Natalie tapped a keypad next to the door before walking into the sauna. Keith followed behind her. They sat down on a bench on the left side of the sauna; it only took a few minutes before the room became so foggy they could barley see each other.

"So, how do you feel?" asked Natalie, playfully bumping her arm against his.

Keith turned toward her. They were sitting close enough he could still see her face. "I feel great," he said. "Thanks for being so patient."

Natalie grinned. "Soon you'll be doing flips off the diving board!"

"Let's not get crazy, partner." He winked and she laughed.

They spent the next fifteen minutes enjoying the sauna. The steam was getting denser and it was harder for Keith to see Natalie. "Can I asked you something?" asked Natalie a few seconds later.

"Shoot."

"Remember the question game we played?"

"Of course."

"Did you really mean it?"

"Mean what?"

Keith scooted closer to Natalie, so close their legs were touching. Skin touching skin. They were so close now Keith could see the different shades of green in Natalie's eyes. "That I-I'm beautiful."

"Are you really asking me that?" Keith joked, but at Natalie's serious expression, he realized she didn't actually think she was beautiful. The knowledge of this almost physically pained him.

"You may think it's a stupid question, but for me it's not. That's the first time someone has ever called me that. Well, at least a guy."

"Raff hasn't?"

Natalie shrugged. "No, not really. He calls me 'hot' and 'sexy' sometimes, but that's not the same. Plus, then he'll call me 'fat' or something equally as nasty and then that kind of cancels out any compliment he gives me."

"Don't listen to him, Natalie. He's oblivious. You are _beautiful_." He stressed the last word. He wished he could tattoo the word onto her skin, let it soak in and become a part of her so she would always know.

She smiled and then their heads were leaning closer to each other; their lips were only inches apart. "Keith?" whispered Natalie. Her eyes were staring at his lips.

"Uh huh," he mumbled. It was impossible to come up with an actual sentence.

And then, suddenly, their lips were touching.

Keith wasn't sure how it happened or who started it. He was pretty sure they had both leaned in at the same time. The kisses started out slow and hesitant, but then Natalie moved so she was straddling him; their lips never once pulled apart.

Wrapping her arm around his neck, Natalie played with the ends of Keith's hair. Not being able to resist, Keith trailed his hands over Natalie's sides; her skin was so soft and slick from the sauna; touching her was addictive. He just couldn't stop. All he could think about was Natalie Natalie _Natalie_.

Their kisses got more heated and they were breathing heavily; their lips pulled apart every few minutes, but only long enough so they could catch their breath. At one point, Natalie pulled away, but only to trail her lips down Keith's collarbone and chest; Keith couldn't help but moan aloud. Her kisses were amazing. He couldn't get enough of them. His moans only seemed to fuel Natalie into kissing him more; it was like she couldn't get enough of him and that was okay to Keith, because he couldn't get enough of her either. His hand touched her breasts and Keith felt dizzy.

Keith wasn't sure how long they had been kissing, but he knew he they needed to stop soon, especially if Natalie keep moving like she was on his lap. Soon, he wasn't going to be able to control himself.

When Keith abruptly stopped (because a second longer, he wouldn't have been able to control himself and things would've gotten extremely awkward) Natalie pulled away, hair mussed, lips red and swallow, and said only one breathy word, but it summed up everything Keith was feeling perfectly. "_Wow_."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _That last scene was definitely not planned. Sometimes Natalie and Keith make me write things and I have no say in the matter. They can be quite convincing. Nevertheless, I hope you all liked the chapter. I'd love to know what your favorite scene was! Please review and let me know._

_I wanted to let you know that I'm getting married next month, so I won't be able to update as much. I'm hoping to get at least one (hopefully two) chapters done before the end of the year, but I can't promise anything; things are starting to get super busy. But don't worry, I _will _finish this story. I have absolutely no intentions of abandoning it. It's my baby. :)_


	16. What I Want

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You guys rock!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen: What I Want<strong>

"Where's Keith?"

Natalie jumped at Julie's voice. Turning her gaze away from the window, she faced Julie. "What?" muttered Natalie, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. She had been so deep in thought she had forgotten where she was for a few seconds.

Julie gave Natalie a soft, but worried smile. "Where's Keith?" she repeated. "He's normally here by now."

"He's not coming," frowned Natalie, staring sadly at the empty coffee cup Julie had placed in Keith's normal spot when Natalie had first arrived at the diner. Then, Natalie hadn't been able to admit out loud Keith wasn't coming.

"Is he all right?"

Natalie shrugged. "I don't really know." After she said this, Julie glanced around the diner before smiling to herself and sitting in the booth across from Natalie. "What are you doing?"

"You look like you need to talk, dear." In all the times they had talked, Julie had never sat down. Julie must've been able to tell how upset Natalie really was. It felt good to know Natalie had someone to talk to.

Sighing, Natalie trailed her fingers around the rim of her cup before saying, "I really screwed up." She felt tears blur her vision and she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, trying to block the tears from falling.

"Start from the beginning," encouraged Julie.

"Are you sure you have time for this?" wondered Natalie.

"Of course I do. For you I will always make time." She smiled. "Plus, I'm the owner of this diner, aren't I? I can make my own rules."

It had taken Natalie almost two months after she had first started coming to the diner regularly to find out Julie was the owner. Natalie always asked her why she didn't hire more wait staff so she didn't have to do most of it. Julie had acted like Natalie was crazy. Apparently, serving people was her favorite part. Natalie hadn't understood this until she and Julie had started talking, then it made sense. Julie made friends with her customers. They were her family.

The words flowed out her as she explained to Julie what had happened. "My dad moved out of the house today. I-I was really upset about it so I met up with Keith and I said something that _really _upset him and he left. I'm afraid he's going to hate me and-and right now?" She took a deep breath before adding, "He's the most important person in my life."

"What did you say that you think upset him so much?"

"Do you know why Keith moved here?" asked Natalie, taking a sip of her coffee as she waited for Julie to answer.

"No," admitted Julie. "But I've always have an inkling it wasn't a good reason."

"What makes you think that?"

Julie smiled sadly. "Sometimes, honey, there's only so much a person can do to hide their sadness."

"Oh." She thought about this for a second. Did Keith really look that sad? Did he still look sad? Was she so use to seeing him sad that she was use to it? She wished she could be the person to make him happy again. Maybe she was; maybe it just took time. She hoped she hadn't ruined everything. "He had to move here because his parents wanted to travel Europe. He's staying with his aunt. I don't know much, but I'm pretty sure his parents haven't contacted him once since they left."

"That poor boy," whispered Julie.

"I know how much it upsets him, even though he doesn't really talk about it. It's a topic he tries to avoid, really. Tonight I said some really awful things…"

"Like what?" asked Julie soothingly.

"I told him he was lucky he didn't have to worry about his parents being around all the time and telling him what to do. I didn't mean it that way. I just…I was upset and it came out wrong. I'm not sure how to fix it." Pleadingly she added, "What should I do?"

"Sometimes the simplest way is the best."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you tried just simply apologizing first?"

Natalie shook her head. "No, I mean, we only just got into a fight. I turned my phone off because I was too scared he was going to tell me he didn't want to see me again."

"You're a smart girl, Natalie. Do you really think Keith would stop being your friend just because of one little argument? I think Keith values your friendship more than you think."

Natalie frowned. "I hope so."

Julie leaned forward, determined. "Now, here's what you're going to do. Tomorrow morning you're going to go over to his house and apologize."

"And if that doesn't work?"

Julie stared out of the window in deep thought before getting up and saying, "I'll be right back."

Less than ten minutes later, Julie came back carrying a box and a tube of something in her other hand. "What's that?" asked Natalie when Julie placed the box in front of her.

"In my experience, bringing food to a guy never hurts." Julie clapped her hands in excitement.

At this, Natalie opened the box and smiled. "Mystery Pie. Perfect."

Julie handed her the frosting. "I thought maybe you could write something on it. Only if you want."

Smiling, Natalie grabbed the tiny tube of yellow frosting from Julie. She knew exactly what she was going to write.

Something simple, true, and _perfect_.

* * *

><p>Natalie's mind was reeling. She had been Keith's first kiss; he said she was beautiful. She couldn't believe it. Keith, who was amazing and handsome and perfect, thought she was <em>beautiful<em>.

She wasn't sure how long she lay there, on the unzipped sleeping bag, body close to Keith, just _thinking_. When Keith finally cleared his throat—and least ten minutes later—he said, "So, um, is it my turn to ask you questions now?" He sounded a little nervous, and Natalie thought it was adorable. "Don't think you can tell me no. You're not getting away with this."

Natalie bit back a grin. "Yup," she said, then added, "But you better come up with some original ones."

"Oh, don't worry," started Keith. "I've got loads of good ones."

Natalie pulled the blanket up to her chin and got comfortable. "I'm ready."

Like she had, Keith asked her very simple questions in the beginning such as her favorite movie (_The Notebook_), her favorite subject (English), and her favorite book (_Jane Eyre_), but then he got more serious.

"What do you see yourself doing after you graduate high school?"

Natalie started slowly, making sure she really thought about her answer before she said anything. Finally she said, "I want to go to college." She waited for Keith to respond to this, but when he didn't she continued, "I want to major in English and be an editor for a magazine or something."

"You've got it all figured out," said Keith, and he didn't say this in a condescending way; instead, his voice was full of admiration. It made her feel good. She had only voiced her dreams to a few people, and other than Brooke, everyone else had given her strange looks or tried to talk her out of it. "What about you?"

"I don't know," he whispered. And then, in the same soft and quiet voice, continued, "Right now I can only live one day at a time. Sometimes, that's even too hard." His response worried Natalie. She knew he was upset about his parents, but sometimes she wondered if there was more to it. "But," he finished, "if I could do anything, I think I would want to work on cars."

"Cars?"

"Yeah," he said. "Before the car accident I use to fix cars with my dad all the time. But I haven't done it since."

"Why not?"

"It just doesn't feel right anymore." He paused. "Plus, the whole not driving thing kind of makes it hard to work on cars."

"Oh," said Natalie. "That's really cool, though. Now I know who to ask when my car starts acting funny."

"I'm your man," he replied and it made Natalie's heart flutter. "Next question."

Keith didn't stop asking her questions after his ten were complete. They both forgot about the game and just _talked_. It meant so much to Natalie, because Keith actually _listened _to her and c_ared_ what she had to say.

For Natalie, it was one of the best nights she had ever had in a long, long time.

* * *

><p>"Keith, seriously, stop moving and go to sleep," demanded Natalie; she tried to stop irritation from filling her, but she had finally fallen asleep, only to be woken up to Keith kicking her in the calf. The car was way too small for two people, and she could feel every movement Keith made. He would <em>not<em> stay still. For a few seconds, she waited for him to say something, but silence filled the car. It wasn't until she was kicked a second time, did she finally roll on her side to face him.

She went to yell at him, but right before she did she realized he was actually sleeping. And not restfully by the looks of it. He was still kicking (Natalie had to bring her legs up to her chest to prevent getting kicked again) and his head was thrashing back and forth.

Natalie wasn't sure what to do, or what was even happening. She wondered if he was having a nightmare; she didn't want to wake him up if she didn't have to, considering how long it had taken her to get him to sleep.

Just as she finally decided to wake him up (she was almost positive he was having a nightmare), his eyes flew open. Frantically, he took in his surroundings. Natalie was right in his line of vision, but either it was too dark or he was in a different state of mind, because he didn't acknowledge her. Heart pounding, Natalie watched as he turned onto his back; he was breathing heavily now, and she knew what that meant.

He was having a panic attack.

"Keith," called Natalie frantically as she watched him try to open the car door. "Keith, calm down. You're okay. I think you just had a night—"

His hand went slack on the car handle—but only for a millisecond—before he continued to try and open the door. Natalie didn't know what to do; the longer he tried to open the door, the more he started to panic. Not wanting to see Keith like this any longer, Natalie leaned over him unlocked the door. It was like he hadn't even noticed her and tumbled out of the car and onto the ground. Natalie followed him quickly.

Kneeling next to him, she studied him. He was breathing heavily and was shaking quite violently. Luckily, he seemed to calm down as each second passed. A few minutes later, he finally spoke and Natalie had never been more relieved. As they got back into the car, Natalie knew it was time to ask Keith about the accident.

* * *

><p>"It was the first snow of the year," started Keith. His voice sounded almost…haunted; it gave Natalie goosebumps. He took awhile, like he was really thinking about exactly what he wanted to say, before he continued, "I didn't think much of it. It wasn't even snowing that badly when I went to the bowling alley with-with...some of my friends. When I left around eight at night to go home, it was snowing more heavily and sticking to the ground. The roads were icy. I didn't worry about it until I started driving.<p>

"I took the longest route home. I shouldn't have. The-the roads were a lot worse than I thought." He paused. "I didn't have much experience driving in bad weather, so I was a little freaked."

"Why didn't you park and call your parents to come get you?" asked Natalie softly. "Or had they left for Europe already?"

"Pride, I guess. I didn't want them thinking I couldn't handle it." Natalie wondered what kind of relationship Keith had with his parents, but knew it wasn't the right time to ask. "Anyway, there's this bridge," he continued after a few minutes, "a few miles away from my house and it was bad. There was a thin sheet of ice on it; I hadn't been driving on the bridge for very long when it happened."

"You mean when a car hit you?" questioned Natalie, dread was filling her.

"Yeah," said Keith sadly. "Two, actually. I think. It's all really blurry. I don't remember much. "

"So," started Natalie slowly, making sure she didn't upset Keith. Even though they were both lying on their backs and couldn't see each other's faces, Natalie could tell by the tone in Keith's voice that talking about the accident was physically painful. "What-what happened?"

"I hit my head really hard on the side window. All I really remember was getting hit and then the car was spinning and there was water and then the car was sinking."

"_Sinking_?" breathed Natalie. "What do you mean by sinking?" She was pretty sure she knew what it meant, but she wanted Keith to clarify because maybe, just maybe, she misunderstood. She could only hope.

"They told me the truck struck the bridge guardrail—it apparently was fairly old and weak, so it broke and didn't stop my truck from falling off the bridge."

"How did you get out? What happened? Did someone help you?" Natalie couldn't help the rush of questions. She couldn't believe something like this had happened to him and he had kept it to himself for so long. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought the accident he had been in was this bad; no wonder he had nightmares.

"I swam through the windshield. I was lucky it shattered when one of the cars hit it. I-I'm not sure what would've happened if it hadn't. The car was already submerged enough it would've been impossible to roll the windows down."

"And then?" prompted Natalie. It seemed her prompting was giving him courage to continue.

"I swam to the surface, but was really out of breath. I remember thinking that I didn't have enough energy to swim and I was going to die. And then, just as my energy gave out, someone saved me. The last thing I remember was being on solid ground and a woman talking to me. I woke up in the hospital the next day." He let out a deep, shaky breath. "So that-that accident is why I'm totally screwed up. It's the reason I'm scared of water and can't drive. It's the reason I have nightmares had don't want to sleep. It's stupid, I know, but—"

"It's not stupid," demanded Natalie. If there was one thing she could do, it was to make sure he knew it was _okay _for him to be scared of an accident that almost took his life. "It's not stupid at all." For a few moments, she let herself process what Keith had just told her. "I can't believe you almost died."

"Yeah, I almost did," whispered Keith. At this, Natalie let out a small sob, and Keith wrapped an arm around her. "Hey, it's okay. Please don't be upset. I'm here now. I'm okay and I'm here."

At this, Natalie wrapped her arms around his chest, wanting to be as close to him as she possibly could. It was most definitely crossing some boundaries, but she didn't care. Keith had almost _died_. It was hard to process, and she needed to be close to him, to hold onto him, to make sure he was still with her, breathing and _alive_.

* * *

><p>"Uh, what are you doing?"<p>

Natalie jumped at the sound of her brother's voice. "W-what?" she stuttered.

"You've been sitting at the kitchen table for the past ten minutes staring off into space. Your ice cream is basically soup now." Zach nodded his head toward the bowl sitting in front of Natalie. Sure enough, the chocolate ice cream she had fixed herself had melted and was now ice cream soup.

"Oh." She blinked. "Uh, I have a lot on my mind." Ever since she and Keith had kissed in the steam room last night, she felt like she was in a constant daze. She couldn't stop thinking about how he had called her beautiful, how his lips felt against hers, how she had been able to _feel _how much he liked kissing her.

She couldn't stop thinking about it and she couldn't stop hoping it would happen again. She was in serious trouble. She had never, ever felt like this with Raff. And they had done a lot more than just kiss.

Surprised, Natalie watched as Zach sat in the chair next to her. "What's going on, sis? You can talk to your brother."

"Can I?" she asked warily. "Are you sure you won't go blab whatever I tell you to one of your friends? If I remember correctly, you are horrible at keeping secrets.

He looked offended. "I can too keep a secret!" Natalie raised her eyebrow. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. You're right; I suck at it. If you want to talk, I _promise_ to not tell anyone."

Biting her lip, Natalie contemplated whether or not to tell Zach what was bothering her so much. Deep down, she really wanted to talk to her brother, because he was one of the few people she could talk to. What she wanted to talk about wasn't something she could to talk to Brooke about, her parents were out of the question, and Keith was definitely not the person to talk to this about, considering it was about him.

It had to be Zach. She wanted it to be Zach. "Okay, I'm warning you now. If I find out you tell anyone what I'm about to say, I'll tell mom what you did last July fourth."

Zach groaned. "Why do you always blackmail me with that?"

"So?" edged Natalie.

"Fine," he said. "I promise to not say anything to anybody."

Grinning, Natalie said, "Good."

"So, what's troubling you, sis?"

Picking up her spoon, she started drawling swirls in her ice cream soup. "I really screwed up. Actually, I've been screwing up a lot recently."

"What do you mean?"

"I kissed someone else," she muttered, cheeks flaming red in embarrassment. _Please don't judge me_, she silently pleaded. "Three times."

"You mean someone other than Raff?" Natalie nodded. "Who? That random guy who was sleeping in your bed like a month ago?"

"Yeah," admitted Natalie. "Him." Then she glared. "I told you to never mention Keith spending the night ever."

Zach shrugged. "Hey, just trying to get my facts straight. So, what? You want to break up with Raff and don't know how?"

Natalie shook her head, feeling wetness build behind her eyes. "That's the thing. I don't know what to do, Zach. I'm so confused."

"Confused how?"

"I don't know. Everything. I'm suppose to be with Raff but—"

"But you're obviously falling for another guy," he interjected. "I think it's simple, Nats, you have to break up with Raff."

"But I can't," she stressed.

"Why not?"

"Because I won't find anyone better. Raff is the best I can get." _I don't deserve anyone else_, she thought.

Narrowing his eyes, Zach asked, confused, "What do you mean he's the best you can get? What about this Keith fella?"

"He has no interest in dating."

"He said this? He's probably lying. He prolly doesn't think he deserves you."

Dropping the spoon into the bowl, Natalie sighed loudly. "I don't know. He's been through a lot of shit lately. I think he's too scared to get attached. Plus, he's my best friend. I can't do that to him. I can't risk our friendship. Without him, I don't know what I'd do."

"Why not?" wondered Zach, as he pulled Natalie's melted ice cream toward him and stuck his finger in it; Natalie squinted her nose in disgust. "Sometimes love is worth the risk, Nats."

"I don't believe in love, Zach. I don't think it's real. But he does. If I started dating him, I'd feel like I was…I dunno…it just wouldn't feel right. Like I was screwing with him somehow or something. It just wouldn't work out."

"You know what I think?" She nodded for him to continue. "To me, it sounds like you're scared. And here's the thing. Love is _real_. Yeah, sure, it may be hard to believe that—especially with what's going on with mom and dad. But trust me, it's real. It's one of those feelings that's hard to believe is real, until it happens to you."

Natalie gave her brother a watery smile. "That was probably the _cheesiest _thing I've ever heard you say."

Zach laughed. "What can I say?" He added, "Anyway, you need to seriously consider your feelings. Stop worrying about the future, and act on how you feel _now_. If you think you're falling for Keith, then you need to break up with Raff."

"I guess I have a lot of thinking to do."

"I think you already know what you want to do."

Zach was right. She couldn't lie to herself anymore; it was obvious she was falling—or had fallen—for Keith. It was obvious, and had been for some time, that she didn't want to be with Raff anymore. But she was so scared. Scared that no one—especially Keith—would ever want her. But how could she be sure of this if she stayed with Raff?

She needed to break up with him.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I think you're right."

Grinning, Zach said, "Good talk, Nats. Good talk."

He went to stand up but Natalie quickly said, "Wait!"

"Yes?" he said slowly.

"I have one more thing I need to ask you."

"Shoot."

"Do you," she started, voice a whisper, "Do you think I'm as bad as mom?"

A few weeks ago, Zach had finally cornered Natalie to talk about what had happened between their parents. How he had been able to tell she had known what was going on between them, Natalie would never know. But she told him; she felt relieved after she had. Like not all the weight was on her shoulders. "You mean because you kissed another guy and you're with Raff?"

She nodded, feeling ashamed. "Yeah, pretty much."

"No," he said after a few moments of contemplation. "I really don't. I-I think what happened between Dad and Mom is worse. It's okay been a few kisses. But you do need to figure out what you want to do. And soon."

"Yeah, I know." She already knew what she wanted; she just didn't know when she'd get the courage to actually follow through with it.

* * *

><p>On Monday, all Natalie could focus on was the conversation she had had with her brother. Talking to Zach had helped, but that didn't mean she wasn't still confused. Sunday night (after she got home from hanging out with Keith), she had been so sure she was going to break up with Raff the next day. But now the day was here, she knew she couldn't do it.<p>

What if she was being rash? What if she broke up with him and realized it was a mistake? This had to be something she seriously thought about; she wanted to make sure she did the right thing.

And by the time Monday night rolled around, her head was spinning and she had only succeeded in making herself more confused. Finally, she decided to stop thinking about it; she just needed to wait for the right moment for everything to fall into place.

On Tuesday, Valentine's Day, Natalie found Raff standing by her locker. She was running super late and only had a few minutes to grab her chemistry book before class started. "Hi," she said quickly, as she started to open her locker. "What's up?"

"Happy Valentine's Day to you, too," said Raff sarcastically. "Geez, can't even give me a kiss?"

Natalie's locker swung open before she turned to look at Raff. "I'm sorry, I'm running super late." She gave him a hesitant smile. "Happy Valentine's Day." Her smile disappeared as soon as she took in Raff's expression.

"What the hell did you do to your hair? And your makeup?"

Shaking, Natalie brought her hand to touch her hair. "I curled with this new curling iron I got; it's suppose to look like waves. And I just used a different color for my eyes. Why—"

"Well, it looks hideous. Make sure," he started, "that you fix yourself before we hang tonight."

Blinking hard, Natalie try to prevent her tears. "What-what are we doing tonight?"

"You're coming over to my house."

Natalie gave a short nod. "Okay. What are we doing?"

"I was thinking," he said, stepping toward her, "that I've waited long enough. I think it's time we—"

Natalie felt her blood turn cold at what he was implying. "No," she said, shaking her head frantically. "I told you. I'm not ready to have sex." Vaguely, she heard the final bell for class ring, but she ignored it. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she waited for Raff's answer.

"How many times do I have to tell you how selfish you are? You need to think about my needs too, Natalie."

"I do think of your needs."

Raff rolled his eyes and Natalie wanted _so badly_ to break up with him, but her throat felt swollen shut and she couldn't get the words out. "Whatever," he said. "If that's the case then I see no reason for you to come over."

"You don't want to spend Valentine's Day with me? Just because I won't have sex?" she asked. She couldn't understand why this upset her so much. She didn't even really like Raff that much, so what did she care? Maybe because no matter what really was going on, she still felt like she was being rejected.

"Yeah, pretty much. I'm getting sick of waiting, Natalie."

Taking a deep breath, Natalie said, voice sounding a lot angrier than she intended (not that she minded), "What do you want me to say, Raff? Do you want me to give you a day and time when I'll finally be ready?"

Nodding, Raff said, "Yeah, that'd be better than what I'm getting now. Which is nothing." This left Natalie speechless. After a few seconds of silence Raff said, "I'll talk to you later. I guess I won't plan on seeing you tonight."

And with that, he walked away. As soon as he was gone, Natalie ran into the girls' bathroom. Ten minutes later, she walked out, her hair damp and limp.

But at least it wasn't wavy anymore.

* * *

><p>"Partner," started Keith before Natalie had even sat down, "you made it. Good, because I <em>really <em>don't want to do this lab alone." She felt his eyes on her as she got out her stuff, but she was so upset she knew if she said anything she'd start crying. "What wrong?" Keith asked a few seconds later. "Why's your hair wet?"

"Raff cancelled our Valentine's Day plans." She still couldn't understand why she was so upset. "And he said I looked hideous with my hair curled, so I-I took them out."

Keith cursed, and this made Natalie turn to face him. He looked angry. "Jackass," she heard him mutter again. "Listen," he started, smile growing on his face. It was like his smiles were contagious, because the corners of her lips lifted a little. "I've got an idea."

"What do you mean?"

"For tonight. Every girl needs to do something on Valentine's, right? I may not be your boyfriend, but I can figure something out."

Excitement filled her. "Really? We'll do something tonight?"

"Absolutely," said Keith, grabbing two pair of goggles from underneath the lab table. He handed one to her. "We can call it a non-date."

Natalie giggled as she put on the goggles. "Non-date. Got it. So, what are we gonna do?"

He winked at her. "Patience, partner."

"Do I need to do anything before?"

He nodded. "Yup, there's one requirement."

"What?"

"Your hair needs to be curled."

* * *

><p>At exactly eight that night, Natalie drove to Keith's to find him already at their secret spot, shivering in the cold. "Why are you not wearing a coat?" she asked as soon as he opened the car door.<p>

Kith laughed as he buckled himself in. "It's not that cold. And I'm wearing a hoodie."

Natalie huffed loudly. "It's below freezing, Keith."

Keith just stared at her with a satisfied smirk before saying, "Your hair looks nice."

At this Natalie rolled her eyes. "Sure it does. I only curled it because it was a requirement." Keith nodded, looking quite proud of himself. "So what are we doing?"

"To start off our non-date," started Keith, "I give you this." Natalie watched as he pulled out a small stuffed polar bear holding a bar of chocolate. It was adorable.

Smiling, Natalie took it from him. "Oh my god, he's so cute." Keith grinned. "Keith, thank you."

"As a guy it has been hammered in my head what girls expect on Valentine's Day. And considering I'm not your boyfriend, flowers were out, but I thought a stuffed animal was a safe bet."

"Thank you, Keith, this was really sweet of you."

"I know," he winked. "Aren't I the sweetest?"

"So what now?" she asked, excitement in her voice. "What are we going to do?"

"We're going to complete another item off our quest list."

"Which one?" Keith stared at her for a long while, and Natalie knew it was to aggravate her; she tried not to say anything, but finally couldn't take it any longer. "You're being a jerk, just tell me!"

"Drive to the move theatre. You're going to sneak into your first movie."

* * *

><p>"You do realize to be able to sneak into a theatre, we have to at least get out of the car, right?" asked Keith.<p>

Natalie groaned. They had been parked for the past five minutes and Natalie had yet to gain the courage to get out of the car. "Yes, I know that," she sighed.

"Okay…."

Huffing, Natalie said, "What if we get caught and end up in jail or something? I would be in so much trouble."

"We're not going to get caught," stated Keith.

Natalie mumbled, "You don't sound all that confident."

He shrugged. "Who knows what'll happen. We could get caught and end up in jail, or we may not get caught. We won't know until we try."

Natalie slammed the palm of her hands on the steering wheel. "Ugh, you can be so infuriating sometimes!" She glared at him for affect, but it didn't faze him at all. Instead, he winked and her and then opened his door. "Where're you going?"

"I'm going to sneak into a movie."

He went to close the door but Natalie hastily said, "Wait!" Scrambling out of the car, she ran over to Keith. "We need a plan of action," she whispered quietly as they began to walk through the parking lot. "You have one, right?" she added.

"No, not really," admitted Keith. As they neared the theatre entrance, though, Keith halted. "Let's try sneaking in the back. There should be less people there."

The back of the theatre was creepy. Granted, Keith was right and there wasn't a person to be seen, but it was so dark and there were lots of scary looking trees; Natalie walked as close to Keith as she could get. They found a back door quickly enough, and Natalie was surprised when Keith was able to open it.

Natalie followed quickly behind Keith as they walked into the hall. They both let out collected sighs of relief when they realized there were no employees or security guards around.

Looking quite proud of himself Keith said, "So, what movie do you fancy seeing?"

Sneaking into a movie was proving to be fun, but it was also really nerve wrecking and Natalie just wanted to get into a theatre where there was less chance of getting caught. "That one," she said, pointing to the nearest theatre.

Keith gave her a strange look, but didn't say anything as they opened the big theatre door and walked in. Luckily, the movie wasn't very crowded and they were able to find seats fairly quickly. It took Natalie a few minutes to calm herself down before she started to watch the movie. She had no idea what movie they had walked into; she should've checked the sign when they walked in.

It hadn't been more than five minutes when Keith said, "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" hissed Natalie, hoping not to disturb the other people around her. "You can't leave me here!"

"I'll be five minutes."

"What do you need to leave so bad?"

Keith leaned closer to Natalie to whisper in her ear. "I'm hungry and thirsty. You can't expect me to sit through this weird ass romance movie starving, can you?"

Natalie rolled her eyes even though she knew he couldn't see her. "Keith, we snuck into this movie. You shouldn't be walking around. We can get something to eat after."

"It will only take me five minutes, promise," pleaded Keith. "If I don't get something to eat, I'll bother you throughout the entire movie."

Knowing that Keith would do just that she reluctantly said, "Fine, but if you get caught I will deny I ever knew you." Keith grinned and without another word quickly and quietly snuck out.

Per his word, Keith was back within five minutes. Now that Keith was content and Natalie was pretty sure they hadn't got caught, she let herself get absorbed in the movie. It was really good. So when Keith leaned over and started whispering something in her ear, fifteen minutes later, she was about to yell at him, but then the words sunk in. "I think we should probably leave," repeated Keith.

"What?" hissed Natalie.

Keith gestured his head toward Natalie's right. What Natalie saw made her heart skip a beat. An old lady was talking to a security guard and pointing at them. "Oh, shit," she hissed. "What do we do? He's staring at us! Oh my God, he's coming over here!"

"Just act natural and—" Keith cut himself off when the guard kneeled down next to them.

"Hi, officer," said Keith. Natalie wanted to step on his foot. He had said to act natural.

"I'm going to need some IDs," said the officer. "An older lady is concerned you both aren't seventeen yet."

_Oh, shit_, cursed Natalie to herself. Out of all the movies she had picked, it had to have been an R rated movie? With a person who actually cared she was too young? She felt herself start to sweat. And just as she was about to confess, she felt Keith grab her upper arm, pull her out of the seat, and start run.

Keith dragged her out of the movie, through the back door, and to the parking lot without stopping. He was running a little too fast for Natalie, but the fear of the guard catching up with them allowed her to keep Keith's pace.

When they got far enough into the parking lot, Keith pulled her down to kneel behind a car. "Can you see him?"

Keith peered behind the car. "No, I think we lost him once we got in the parking lot."

At this, Natalie left out a big breath and leaned against the car, exhausted. "That scared the shit out of me."

Keith grinned. "It was fun."

"I was really enjoying that movie, by the way," stated Natalie. They had really only been in the theater for twenty minutes, so she hadn't seen that much of the movie but she wanted to be difficult. "And I bet if you wouldn't had been in dire need of food, no one would've noticed us!"

Keith shrugged. "Hey, it was more fun this way. Trust me. Now, not only can you say you snuck into a movie, you can say you almost got caught."

"That's true," agreed Natalie.

"Wanna find the car?" asked Keith. "I'm pretty sure the guy gave up, and I'm freezing." He gave her a cute lopsided grin at his admittance. "I promise I'll start bringing a winter coat," he added before she could bug him about it.

He was just about to stand up when Natalie grabbed his forearm to stop him, "Wait," she said. Keith stopped and looked at her expectantly. "I-I just wanted to say thanks, for tonight and everything. This day started really shitty and you made it great."

Natalie couldn't tell if the redness that appeared on his cheeks was from the cold or embarrassment. It was cute nevertheless. "It was no problem, partner."

Taking a deep breath Natalie said, "You know, Keith, one day you're going to make a girl really, really happy."

This time she was certain he was blushing. "Yeah," he laughed nervously, shaking his head as if he thought what she had said was ridiculous. "I don't know about that," he muttered, standing up.

As they walked back to the car, Natalie thought about what she had said to Keith, and how, no matter how much she tried to deny it, she didn't want Keith to find another girl.

Because _she _wanted to be that girl.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _*Sigh* I love Keith so much. Isn't he the most adorable, sweetest guy ever?__I really wish I could hug him.__I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter and any predictions you may have for the story!_


	17. Come For You

**A/N: **_*__sneaks in__* I'm so sorry I haven't updated in two months. Real life has been crazy lately, but things are starting to settle down and I have a lot more free time now. Which means faster updates! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen: Come For You<strong>

Keith felt like he was about to go crazy. He had been in the Valentine's Day aisle for the last half hour looking for something to get Natalie. He had thought the trip was going to take him less than five minutes.

Boy, had he been wrong.

He hadn't expected there to be _so much_ stuff to pick from. But there was a whole aisle dedicated to the holiday. And to make matters worse, almost everything was pink. The color was everywhere; it was starting to give him a headache. He was almost to the point of giving up and just buying a bouquet of roses he had seen displayed at the entrance of the store, even though he knew that gesture might give Natalie the wrong impression.

But then that thought poised the most difficult question of all. What did a guy give a girl for Valentine's Day if he _wasn't_ her boyfriend? Another minute passed and finally, getting too aggravated, he grabbed a random stuffed animal (that was friend territory, right?) and was about to make his way to the register when someone squealed and then ripped the stuffed animal out of his hand.

"What the hell?" exclaimed Keith, spinning around to see who had just kidnapped his gift. It was a girl, which wasn't surprising given the squeal she had emitted. She was short, probably not more than four feet tall, skinny, and had long, shiny, black hair.

"Looking for your girlfriend?" she asked, giving the stuffed animal a disgusted look.

"No," muttered Keith. "Not really…"

The girl squinted her eyes at him in confusion. "Not really? What does that mean?" Keith opened his mouth, ready to explain, but she spoke up before he could say anything. "Ohhhh I get it. She's not your _girlfriend_, but a_ friend_ that's a girl. A girl you _wish _was your girlfriend."

"She's just a friend," demanded Keith, but his voice sounded weak to his own ears. Did he want Natalie to be his girlfriend? If he was being honest with himself he did. He really, _really_ did.

"Sure she is," giggled the girl. "Well, I'll give you some advice. First off," she started, tossing the stuffed animal cow she had grabbed from Keith back on the shelf, "that is the ugliest stuffed animal I have ever seen. If you give her that, you'll ruin any and all changes you have with her." She took a deep breath and then continued, "Anyway, girls love anything that's cute. And chocolate. You can never go wrong with chocolate. Neither of those things should imply too much." She crossed her arm against her chest and stared at Keith. "Well, c'mon, pick something!"

"You're quite demanding," stated Keith as he searched the row of stuffed animals in front of him. He looked until he was sure he found the perfect stuffed animal for Natalie. It was a white polar bear, with heart-shaped paw prints. Then, he walked to the other side of the aisle and grabbed a large candy bar. When he was down he looked at the girl, waiting for approval. "So? How'd I do?"

She smiled. "Great choice. I'm proud."

"Well, thanks."

"No problem! I couldn't stand to watch you spend anther twenty minutes looking completely lost." She walked toward the shelf and grabbed a candy bar. "Have fun tonight," she added before skipping away, whistling as she turned the corner.

Keith stood there for a few seconds, a little taken aback and asking himself, '_Did that just really happen?'_

* * *

><p>They weren't even out of the movie theatre parking lot before Natalie asked Keith, "So, what's next?"<p>

"Uh…" muttered Keith, cursing himself. He didn't have any other plans. He had expected them to be occupied for the next two hours in the movie theatre. "Uh, well, I don't really have any," he sheepishly answered. Even though it was dark out, Keith could make out Natalie's small frown. "I didn't really plan to get kicked out of the theatre so soon. Or at all, really."

"Oh, that's okay." Silence filled the car as Natalie turned left, towards home. "We could go to the diner?" she suggested after a few seconds.

Keith shook his head. "No way. It's Valentine's Day. We're not doing something we do every single night."

"Keith, you don't need to feel obligated to entertain me all night because it's Valentine's Day and my boyfriend is a dick. The diner's fine. Great even. Maybe I'll go crazy and get_ two_ pieces of Mystery Pie. You'll keep that a secret, right?" she joked.

For the next few minutes, Keith contemplated what they could do. And then he thought of their quest list and an idea hit him. "Turn around."

"What? Why?"

"Because I have an idea. A brilliant idea, if I do say so myself."

"So modest, you are," laughed Natalie. At the next light, she turned around and soon they were driving the opposite way from home. "So where are we going?"

"Walmart."

"Ohhhh," Natalie gasped dramatically, "what an adventure. That is a brilliant idea. What're we going to do once we get to Walmart? Scour the mysterious land for hidden treasure?"

"Yup," grinned Keith. "Exactly that."

* * *

><p>"So," asked Natalie, walking close to Keith as they made their way into the store. It was freezing out, which was why Keith assumed she was standing so close. He didn't mind at all. "What stuff do we need to get?"<p>

Keith smiled, happy Natalie seemed to be having fun. "We're going to complete something off our quest list, but before we can do that we have to get some items to prepare for it. Any ideas?" They walked in the doors of the store and took an immediate left.

Natalie bit her lip in thought; Keith figured she was trying to remember what was on their lists. They were nearing the camping supplies aisle when Natalie's eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "We're going to send a package to the jungle, aren't we?"

"Man," started Keith, "you're good. Do you have the lists memorized?"

"Pretty much," she said, grinning. "You do too," she laughed, knocking her shoulder against his playfully before walking a few feet ahead of him and glancing down the aisle. "What're we getting here?"

"A raincoat," stated Keith simply. "It's probably pretty rainy in the jungle."

"Good point." Keith watched as Natalie walked toward the raincoats; he stayed a bit behind her to let her choose which one she liked best. There were so many colors and designs Keith wondered how long it would take to pick one out. He didn't care which one she picked, as long as it wasn't pink. He was sick of that color.

Five minutes later, Natalie picked out a raincoat. It was polka dots.

And pink.

"Don't you make that face!" scolded Natalie. "The coat is cute."

"What if this package ends up with a guy? It's pink. With purple polka dots."

"Then he'll give it to his girlfriend and it'll make her smile and she'll be happy."

Keith couldn't argue with that.

After picking out the raincoat, they proceeded to walk down each aisle and grab anything that looked fun to send to the jungle. By the time they had walked the entire store, a whole corner of their cart was piled to the top with random stuff. They had a deck of cards, a random toy car (Natalie had tried to throw this out of the cart numerous times), granola bars, candy, pink socks (to match the raincoat, of course), postcards from Illinois, and more.

As they were paying, Keith turned towards Natalie and said, "Thursday. After school."

"What?"

Keith rolled his eyes. "Thursday. We'll meet after school and send this package to its destination."

"We have to wait until Thursday?" pouted Natalie. "Why can't we go tomorrow? I'm free. I don't have swim practice anymore since the season's over, you know that."

Keith could feel a tiny blush paint his face and he really hoped Natalie couldn't tell. "I've got somewhere I have to be tomorrow."

"Really? Where?"

He wished he could tell her where he was going. That he had an appointment to talk with Al, but he wasn't sure how Natalie would take that. He knew he could tell her it was to talk about his nightmares and she wouldn't judge him, but he just couldn't do it. Admitting to her that he had to talk to someone about them really put a light on how much they really did affect him. And it made him feel weak and pathetic. Plus, what if she asked questions? He had already told her as much as he could, unless he told her the truth.

But to do that he'd have to admit to her that he had been lying to her since the day they met. And that was _not_ going to happen.

"Just somewhere, okay?" he said softly, hoping she took the tone of his voice as a clue he didn't want to talk about it.

It wasn't until after Keith paid and loaded the bags into the cart did Natalie respond. "Okay," she said quietly, like she was in deep thought. Keith wondered what she was thinking. "Thursday it is."

* * *

><p>Keith gulped the last of his coffee before he looked at Al. He was halfway through his session and Keith hadn't said more than a few words. Instead, all they had done was drink coffee in silence. Part of the reason Keith didn't talk was because he didn't want to, but the other part of him was too exhausted. It was a constant battle trying to keep his eyes open. The coffee helped a little, but he needed more. It was taking more caffeine pills to keep himself awake, and he was getting the point where he was actually starting to worry that he might be taking too many. He had decided to try to cut back today, and it wasn't working well. He hadn't been able to concentrate and all he wanted to do was sleep sleep <em>sleep<em>.

"Can I have another cup?" asked Keith before a yawn overtook him. He tried to hide this with his hand, but he was pretty sure Al could see. If there was one thing Keith had noticed about Al since their sessions, was he noticed everything; he was extremely observant.

Al sighed. Keith was pretty sure that was disappointed sigh (he had become pretty good and deciphering Al's sounds); he had probably thought Keith was about to say something beneficial, like how he was feeling or something equally stupid and pointless. "You've already had two, Keith. Don't you think that's enough?"

Rolling his eyes, Keith said, "Uh, no. If I thought two was too many I wouldn't be asking for another cup, now would I?"

Al stared unfazed at Keith for a few seconds before he stood up. "I'll make you a deal. I'll give you another cup of coffee but you have talk to me for the rest of the session. That's only twenty-five minutes."

Keith weighed his options. He could either sit in silence without coffee and try to stay awake (the possibility of that was extremely unlikely given how exhausted he was) or he could have his coffee and talk to Al for a few minutes.

He decided on the later. Even though talking and expressing his feelings was the last thing he wanted to do he knew if he ever wanted to stop coming to these sessions he had to at least act like he was improving.

It took Al less than a minute to refill Keith's cup and sit back down. "What would you like to talk about, Keith?"

"Nothing," spat Keith. "There is absolutely _nothing_ I want to talk about. Don't you think if I wanted to talk about something I would've done that when I first got here?"

Al nodded. "Good point. I guess that means I get to pick." Keith inwardly groaned. "First, I want to ask you why you're so tired. Did you not sleep well last night?"

"Are you honestly asking me about my sleeping habits?"

"_Keith_."

"I'm not that tired," said Keith stubbornly. "And why would you ask that question?"

Al almost looked defeated. "Keith, I'm not stupid. You're drinking coffee like it's the last time you'll ever get to and you can barley keep your eyes open. You've been sitting in that chair looking like you're about to pass out since you got here."

"Oh."

Silence. Then Al said, "So, tell me, why are you so tired?"

"I didn't sleep last night."

"Do you ever sleep?"

Keith shrugged. "Sure. I'd die if I didn't, right?" Then, he quickly added, "You're not going to tell my aunt anything I say in here, are you?" Keith figured this was a stupid question, but considering he hadn't ever really said that much, he wasn't sure what was Al would tell Melissa.

"No, Keith. This is all confidential." Al jotted down something in his notebook before he asked, "How many hours do you sleep a night?"

Keith let out a sarcastic laugh. "I'm not answering that." He was pretty sure confidential only went so far. If he honestly told how many hours he slept a night, Al would be placing a concerned call to Melissa. He was sure of that.

"All right. I guess that answers my question. You don't sleep at night, do you?"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

"What do you do at night?" inquired Al. "I'm assuming you have to find something to occupy yourself so you don't fall asleep."

"Homework, mostly. Sometimes I meet Natalie at this diner that's nearby."

"Who's Natalie?" asked Al, sounding excited. Keith cursed to himself. He hadn't meant to bring up Natalie.

"A friend."

"Did you meet at school?"

Keith took a few sips of his coffee. "Yeah, she's in some of my classes."

"So she doesn't sleep either?"

"Nope."

"Well, I'm glad you seem to have found a friend, Keith; although, I'm concerned about your sleeping habits. Do you have nightmares?"

Keith glared. "None of your business." He knew his answer was rather childish and probably answered the question anyway, but he didn't care.

Al spent the next few seconds writing in his journal again before he spoke up. "I really wish you'd be more open with me, Keith. I think I could really help you. I've learned trying to pry information out of you isn't the best course of action. I hope I can continue to build your trust and you can learn to start talking to me more."

"Doubtful," muttered Keith. He didn't care if Al could hear him. He glanced at the clock. It was five minutes to four. "Can I leave now?"

"You have five minutes of the session left. We could—"

"I need to go to the bathroom."

"All right," said Al, sounding resigned. "I'll see you next week, Keith." At Al's approval, Keith jumped up from the chair, stopping by the coffee machine to place his empty cup. "And, Keith," started Al, "one more thing before you leave?"

"Yeah?" he said impatiently.

"I want you to start keeping a journal."

"I'm not doing something girly like expressing my feelings in a freaking journal. No way."

"I'm not suggesting that. I want you to keep a journal of your nightmares. You might start to see a pattern and maybe once you feel like you can trust me more we can go over them. We may be able to figure out what's behind them and why you're having them."

"Fine," said Keith, relenting. He really wanted to leave. "I'll think about it." As he walked out of Al's office and towards the restroom, he thought about what Al had suggested. Truthfully, it wasn't a bad idea, but the thing was Keith had a pretty good idea why he had the nightmares.

Guilt.

And he was pretty sure no amount of talking was going to take his guilt away. He wasn't sure if there was _anything_ that could take it away. He was pretty sure he was going to live with the feeling forever.

* * *

><p>After school on Thursday, Keith waited for Natalie by her car. The wind was blowing and the clouds were darkening; it looked like a storm was coming. He just hoped Natalie showed up soon. It was a lot colder out than it looked.<p>

It was ten minutes before Keith spotted Natalie walking through the parking lot towards her car. "What took you so long?" asked Keith, teeth chattering. "Was it your plan to have me freeze out here?"

She rolled her eyes at him as she passed. Once they were both buckled in the car with the heat on Natalie said, "You know, you probably wouldn't be so cold if you wore an actual _winter_ coat. And maybe some gloves. And a hat."

"I didn't think it was going to be cold today," he defended.

"Have you ever thought to check the weather before you leave?"

Keith laughed. "Seriously?" Even though he would never admit to Natalie she was right about this, Keith figured he really did need to start paying attention to the weather, or at least carry a coat with him.

Natalie sighed, defeated. "You're hopeless."

Choosing to ignore this statement, Keith asked, "Did you bring the stuff?"

"Of course I brought the stuff," huffed Natalie, almost offended. "It's in the backseat. I couldn't find a box to put it all in so we'll have to get one at the post office."

"No problem," said Keith.

They arrived at the post office in less than fifteen minutes. While Natalie picked out a box, Keith emptied the bag onto a counter to examine the contents. "Whoever gets this package is going to be happy!" exclaimed Natalie as she placed a medium-sized box in front of Keith.

"And possibly a little freaked out," commented Keith as he picked a rather ugly stuffed animal Natalie had selected. He wasn't sure if it was suppose to be a penguin or dragon.

It didn't take long to package the box; it wasn't until they were taping it shut, however, did they encounter a problem. "Uh," started Natalie, "you have some type of address, right?"

Keith froze, thinking. "Uh, about that," said started, knowing a guilty expression had graced his face. "I may have forgotten that minor detail."

"Keith!"

Grabbing a black sharpie, Keith said, "Don't worry. I have an idea." Uncapping the marker, Keith wrote in his messy scrawl on the middle of the box, 'The Jungle.' He stepped back, proud, to let Natalie inspect his work.

"Seriously?_ No_. Do you know crazy we're going to look if we try to ship it like this? Absolutely not. I refuse to send this until we have an actual, viable address."

"What's wrong with looking a little crazy sometimes?" questioned Keith.

"Keith, I'm being serious here."

Keith pouted; he hoped it would work on her. "Please, partner. I bet if we go up there, that kind lady will help us out."

Keith knew his pout was working, because Natalie looked torn. Finally, Natalie sighed, defeated. "Ugh, _fine_."

Grinning, Keith grabbed the package and Natalie's hand and dragged her towards the middle-aged employee, named Sandy (according to her nametag). "Hi, Sandy," said Keith to the woman. She was sporting the _ugliest_ scarf Keith had ever seen. It was a mix of bright colors and looked like it had gone through a horrible kind of dye job. "We need to ship this package."

Sandy grabbed the package and sighed loudly after she read the address. "This isn't funny, kids. Take this sharpie," she said, handing Natalie the marker, "and write the address you really want this sent to."

"No need," supplied Keith. "Our address is correct. We want this stuff sent to the jungle."

"Just the jungle?" questioned Sandy. "I can't do that. I need a real address."

"It is a real address," defended Keith. "Well, technically. I mean, it's not going to a specific person, but we're hoping it'll end up in the jungle and then it'll be a fun surprise to whomever finds the package. Cool, huh?"

Sandy stared blankly at Keith. "I don't have time for these foolish games. Give me an address or you can pay for the box and tape you used and leave."

"I know," said Keith, sounding excited. "How about you look up an address, a random one, from the jungle—any jungle—and that will be it!"

"Isn't that illegal?" whispered Natalie into Keith's ear.

"Shhhh," whispered Keith back. "Don't say anything. I'm hoping she'll get fed up with us and do what I ask."

Keith fought back with the employee for the next two minutes. Finally, Keith broke her. He watched as Sandy typed something into her computer, wrote down an address on the box, and then asked for seventy-five dollars. Keith pulled out his credit card; he _really_ hoped his aunt wouldn't look too closely at the transition, because he was pretty sure she would flip out if she saw the amount.

Less than five minutes later, Keith followed Natalie out of the post office. "Another quest complete!" he screamed, jumping over a bench and almost falling on his butt.

Natalie rolled her eyes at his antics. "Keith, I'm pretty sure that lady just used the address of some other post office. I bet—"

Running over to Natalie, he placed his palm over her mouth to quiet her. "Speak no more of that negativity, partner. To us, that package is on its way to the jungle." He winked at her and when he pulled his hand away, she smiled back. "Now, who do you think will end up with the package? A young kid, a grown man?"

Smile still gracing her face, Natalie said, dreamily, "Well, here's the thing. I think the package will end up…."

They spent the rest of the afternoon coming up with random scenarios of where the package would end up; they got crazier with each one. By dinnertime, the package was going to end up getting picked up by a baby elephant, dropped in the river, and ending up on a young man's porch. A young man who had a girlfriend.

A girlfriend who loved raincoats and the color pink.

A girlfriend who never took the coat off and whose smile never once faded.

* * *

><p>Keith jolted awake as his bedroom door flew open, ricocheting loudly against the wall. By the time he took in his surroundings (apparently he had fallen asleep while attempting to do his homework), Jake was standing two feet away from him.<p>

"What do you want?" snapped Keith. It drove him crazy that Jake never knocked on his door before coming in.

"Don't you use that tone with me!" Jake bellowed. Jake didn't know this, but his tone didn't bother Keith anymore; he used it so much on that it just sounded…normal now.

Keith rolled his eyes. "If you can't tell, I'm trying to do my homework, so if you wouldn't mind leaving—"

"No teenager does their homework on a Saturday night. I'm sure of that." He was huffing loudly and Keith wondered what had got him so worked up. Probably something stupid.

Keith shrugged, glancing down at his history textbook. He hadn't even completed his first question before he had passed out. It was Raff's birthday and Natalie was at his party. Without her, it was much harder to stay awake. "Well, you're wrong," he finally said, "because that's exactly what I'm doing."

"Quit being a smart ass," demanded Jake. "Now get up and come upstairs with me."

"Why?" hissed Keith. He was getting a little concerned with Jake's attitude. Normally he yelled a lot and threatened him, but normally after a few minutes he got too mad and left. But now it seemed like Keith himself had definitely done something wrong if Jake wanted him upstairs. Keith didn't want to go. He had known Jake for a few months, and most days he was full of hot air, but sometimes he went too far. Because of that, Keith was always wary around him.

Just as Keith was about to ask why he was needed upstairs, Jake grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of his chair. "What the hell are you doing?" screamed Keith; he tugged on his arm, but Jake didn't let go until they were upstairs and standing in front of the dishwasher.

"What the hell is this?" demanded Jake, pointing. Not being able to see what he was pointing at, Keith walked around him. It was a knife in the dishwasher. "How fucking stupid are you? You don't put nice knifes like that in the dishwasher; it ruins them! What do I have to do to get through your thick skull?"

"Sorry," said Keith, shrugging. "Geez, it's just a flipping knife. Chill out." Bending down, Keith grabbed the knife out of the silverware tray in the dishwasher. He had intended on checking it and proving to Jake the knife was fine, but apparently Jake didn't even want him to touch it and tried to grab it from him. The problem, though, was Keith hadn't had a very good grip on it and the knife slipped from his hand. His reflexes acted before his mind did and he tried to catch it, and ended up catching it by its blade.

The blade sliced Keith's palm and he winced as pain erupted in his hand. Blood started dripping down his hand within seconds. Instead of helping, Jake grabbed Keith's injured hand (that was still gripping the knife), and squeezed tightly. "W-what the fuck are you doing?" screamed Keith. "Let go—" Jake was squeezing hard, and Keith was beginning to worry how deep the cut was getting.

Jake didn't let go.

Instead, he dragged Keith away from the dishwasher and slammed him against the fridge. Blood was now streaming down Keith's his arm and dripping onto the floor. Keith's arm felt like it was on fire, but there was nothing he could do. If he tried to pull Jake's grip of the blade would sink in deeper. "Have you learned your lesson yet, boy?"

Keith didn't answer; he only glared. Jake wasn't going to win this time. He didn't care how much his palm hurt or how much he was bleeding; he wouldn't give Jake that satisfaction.

They stood there in silence for what felt like hours to Keith (he was pretty sure it was only for a minute, but with the pain in his hand time felt like it was passing slowly) when suddenly the door to the garage opened and Melissa walked in. As soon as she did, Jake let go of Keith's hand. The knife slipped from Keith's grip and clattered onto the floor. "I'm sorry I'm home so late. Book club went longer than I—Oh my god, what happened?" Melissa, with wide eyes, dropped all of her stuff on the floor and rushed over to Keith, who was cradling his hand with his other. He was sure what to do, so he just stood there in shock.

"He-he accidently cut himself," stuttered Jake. "He was unloading the dishwasher and the knife slipped and cut his hand."

"Don't just stand there!" screamed Melissa frantically. "Go get some towels, bandages, something!" As Jake scampered away, Melissa ran over to Keith. Blood was _everywhere_. It was on Keith's clothes and on the floor. Melissa gently dragged him over to the sink and placed his hand under cold water. "You're okay," she said, as she inspected his hand. "You're okay."

The next fifteen minutes were spent with Melissa debating if he needed stitches, finally confirming he didn't, and then bandaging his palm.

"Thanks," said Keith when Melissa declared she was done. The bandage was rather unconformable, but there wasn't another way around it. The cut ran from the bottom of his middle finger and towards the top of his wrist.

Melissa placed her hand against her forehead in relief. "Phew, that wasn't what I was expecting to come home to."

"Sorry," said Keith, glancing at Jake who didn't look upset at all. Honestly, he looked rather pleased with himself.

"Just-just don't do that again, okay? I think you need to stay away from knifes…for…forever actually."

"I'll try and be more careful next time," promised Keith as he stood up. He felt bad for leaving his aunt this quickly after she got home, but he really didn't want to be around Jake anymore.

* * *

><p>Keith woke to music. It took him a few seconds to wake up enough to realize it was his phone. By the time he rolled onto his side to answer, the call had ended.<p>

Still half asleep, he didn't bother to see who called and rolled onto his back, eyes already fluttering closed. He was almost back asleep when his phone rang again. He answered quickly. "Hello?" he mumbled, trying to blink his eyes awake. It was still dark out, so he figured he had only been asleep for a few hours. He had set his alarm to wake him up after four hours and it hadn't gone off yet.

"K-Keith? It's Natalie."

"Partner?" he yawned. "What's—"

"I'm-I'm sorry. Were you sleeping?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was sleeping." By his lack of coherence, he figured he was still half asleep.

He heard Natalie take in a deep, shaky breath. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up. I-I didn't think you'd be sleeping."

"It's okay. Is something wrong?" He was almost completely awake by now; the tone in Natalie's voice was starting to freak him out. She sounded scared.

"I," she started and then Keith heard a door slam shut before she continued, "I'm at Raff's. He's really drunk and he's been trying to-to—I just really don't want to be here anymore. Brooke's not here and I really just want to go home, but I didn't drive here and-and I don't know what to do."

Keith was out of bed before his body had even fully processed what was going on. "I'll come get you," he said as he frantically grabbed a hoodie and quickly put it on.

"Really?" she sniffed. "Thank you, Keith. I'm-I'm hiding in the guest bedroom. I don't know what to do."

"Just give me his address. That's all I need to know."

It wasn't until Keith had Googled directions to Raff's and was about to sneak through his window did he realize something.

Raff's house was twenty minutes away.

He would have to drive.

The next ten minutes Keith spent sneaking upstairs and into the garage, while trying to keep himself calm. He tried to hurry; the constant image of Natalie scared allowed him to get into his truck and turn it on without freaking out. He knew he could call a taxi; he knew he could even wake up his aunt and she would drive, but he didn't want to.

Natalie had called him for help. Him. Not her parents, not her brother. _Him_. And so it was he who was going to be the one to help her, even if that meant he had to face his biggest fear and drive.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Please review and let me know what you think! I need to know my reader's are still alive! ;)_

_I have a funny story I thought I'd share with you all-it has to do with Keith, so I thought you guys might get a laugh out of it. Have any of you ever dropped bowling balls on people's front porch? Ever since I saw Keith, I've wanted to do it so for my bachelorette party my best friend got me a present. Three bowling balls. We drove around my neighborhood and left them on people's front porch. It was a blast. The problem was, it was too light out and we got caught! The man actually opened his front door. So if you ever want to leave bowling balls on people's front porch, listen to Keith and go at night when people are asleep. And just in case, make sure you have a good getaway driver—you'll need one of those if you get caught._

_Thanks to everyone for reading this chapter and sticking with me during my long hiatus. I promise I will get the next chapter out as soon as I can. _


	18. Torn

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You guys are awesome. Here's chapter eighteen; I hope you enjoy!_

_**Warning:**__ There are scenes of sexual nature in this chapter._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen: Torn<strong>

Through narrowed eyes Natalie watched from the couch as Raff had a beer chugging contest with a few of his friends. He winked at her when their eyes met and she hid a laugh behind her cup. Did he honestly think she thought what he was doing was attractive? Sometimes she couldn't believe how immature he was. Taking her eyes off of him she took a sip of her soda, wishing it wasn't Raff's birthday. She'd much rather be spending time with Keith at the diner, eating Mystery Pie, and having civilized conversation. But that wasn't going to happen tonight and she needed to get over it.

After Raff was hailed the victor (he was way too excited about this), he stumbled over to her. "Hey, baby."

"Hi."

"What ya doing?" he asked, leaning closer to her. She scooted as far to the side of the couch as possible.

"I was watching you," she stated, wanting to add, _make a fool of yourself_.

"Wasn't I awesome?" Then he said, already grabbing onto her arm, "Come do a shot with me."

"No," she said, trying to pull away. "I'm fine with the drink I have."

"You're drinking soda." He stood up, squeezing tighter and trying to get her to stand up. "It wasn't a question," he growled, the tone of his voice changing drastically, "it was a demand. You're going to go do a shot with me. It's my birthday and I get to tell you what to do."

Natalie sighed. She was so sick of this; she wasn't sure how much more of him she could handle. "You can't force me to drink, Raff. Now, get off of me." When he didn't budge, she stood up quickly. This took him off guard and she was able to pull her arm from his grasp. Her drink, however, slipped out of her hand at her sudden movement.

"Look at what you did!" screamed Raff, making Natalie cower. "If this doesn't come up my parents are going to kill me."

"I'm sorry," she whispered; he was really freaking her out right now. He always scared her more when he was drunk. "It's just soda. It'll come out, I promise."

He stepped in front of her. "It better. And you _will _make that up to me. _Tonight_."

"No," she said, knowing what he was implying. "You can't force me to drink and you can't force me to sleep with you. To be perfectly honest I don't feel like doing _anything _with—"

His hand gripped her shoulder and pushed her roughly against the fireplace they were standing by. Then, he started screaming. He was screaming so loudly she couldn't process what he was saying. All she knew was she didn't care what he was saying and she needed to _leave_.

But he was still gripping her shoulder—too tightly—and she couldn't move. Couldn't get away. "Let go," she said, her voice cracking. Tears were filling her eyes; she had never been more afraid of Raff. "Let go," she demanded again, but the tears that were now falling down her cheeks made it hard for her to sound anything but terrified. Luckily, someone intervened and pulled Raff away. She wasn't sure who and she didn't bother to check, as she quickly ran upstairs. Breathing deeply, she stumbled into a guest room, wishing Brooke hadn't been busy and had come to the party with her. Coming to Raff's party alone had been a horrible idea, but she had no choice. Once the door was closed behind her, she grabbed her phone out of pocket, hands shaking. One thing was for sure, she was finding a ride home and _leaving_.

Before she could think about what she was doing, she was calling Keith.

* * *

><p>Natalie stood in the dark bedroom, heart pounding as she listened to the party downstairs. Every time she heard someone walk up the stairs or a door slam her heart skipped a beat and she would stare at the bedroom door, praying it didn't open.<p>

Why wasn't Keith here yet? It had been forty minutes since she had called him and he still hadn't shown up. She just wanted him to get here so she could stop feeling so scared. All she wanted—no, needed—was Keith. With him at her side, she would feel safe again.

She was debating calling him again when she heard it. Laughter.

Creeping closer to the door, she listened. She didn't listen long before she heard Keith's voice, and as soon as she did, she slammed open the door and ran downstairs.

Keith wasn't hard to find, four guys were cornering him in the kitchen. "Keith!" she screamed, pushing past the guys and flinging herself on him. She grabbed fistfuls of his hoodie and clung to him. "I want to leave. I want to leave," she mumbled into his neck. Taking a deep breath, she let the smell of Keith surround her; it calmed her. But it didn't last for long.

A few seconds later, she was pulled off of Keith and found herself crashing into a wall. "What the fuck are you doing?" growled Raff. Natalie cowered as Raff stood in front of her; she hated herself for it, but she couldn't help it. Keith was behind Raff, trying to get to her, but the four guys that had been cornering him earlier were holding him back. "Why the _hell_ is he here and why were you hugging him? He's a freak, Natalie. A _freak_."

"Shut up!" she screamed, so loudly her voice cracked. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and most definitely messing up her make up, but she didn't care. She hated how everyone always made fun of Keith. Hated it. He was a better person than any of them would ever be. "Shut the hell up! He's not a freak." At this, Raff chuckled and it made Natalie so angry. "Get away from me," she growled. "I'm done."

"Done?" laughed Raff again. "With what?"

"You," spat Natalie. "I'm done with you. We're over."

Raff laughed again, but Natalie could detect the tiny bit of worry in his eyes. "Stop being ridiculous, Natalie. I think it's time you went to bed. How much have you had to drink?"

"I've had nothing to drink tonight. And I mean it," she said confidently. "We. Are. Over."

Natalie watched Raff's face change from one of shock to one of immense anger. "What? You're breaking up with me for the freak? Are you serious? You're breaking up with me for _him_?"

"Shut up, Raff! We're over and I don't ever—" It all happened in a flash. One minute Raff was in front of her screaming, the next minute he had turned around, grabbed Keith by the hood of his hoodie, and flung him onto the ground. Hard. Raff got one kick to Keith's stomach, before Natalie jumped onto his back, clawing at his neck. "Stop it!" she screamed.

Raff flung Natalie off easily, but the few second distraction Natalie had given Raff allowed Keith to stand up. "You need to chill out, man," said Keith, taking a deep breath, arm wrapped around his stomach. "She doesn't want to be with you anymore."

"You don't not," growled Raff, "speak to me like that in my house." Raff flung his fist at Keith, but luckily Keith expected it, dodged it, and got a good punch to Raff's eye. Unfortunately, Raff reacted quickly and pushed Keith hard in the chest. This caused Keith to stumbled backward, and unable to catch his footing, slam into the screen door. Both the door and Keith crashed to the ground

Raff went _ballistic_. Keith was on back, dazed, when Raff jumped on him. Raff was able to get a few good punches at Keith, before Keith started fighting back. Fists were flying and Natalie started screaming. She didn't know what to do. If she tried to break it up, she was pretty sure she'd end up with a fist in her face. Luckily, just as she was about to go over to them, because she couldn't stand seeing Keith get hit anymore, one of Raff's friends, Jeremy, broke the fight up. "All right, stop it, Raff." He pulled Raff off Keith and turned to Natalie. "You better get the hell out," he spat. "Just get out."

Natalie gave a jerky nod and ran over to Keith. He was on his knees, taking his time getting up. He wasn't getting up fast enough for Natalie's liking, so she grabbed one of his arms and lifted him up. He stumbled a little when he first stood, but seemed okay other than being a little disoriented. As they walked away, Raff screamed, "You better watch your back, Zetterstrom. I promise you, you will regret this. You will pay."

Turning around Keith spat, "Fuck you," before he grabbed Natalie's hand and they made their way quickly out of the house.

As soon as they walked out the front door, Natalie grabbed Keith and made him face her. "Are you okay?" she asked, frantically looking him over for any serious injuries. After a few seconds, she was pretty sure he didn't need to be rushed to the hospital, but he didn't look okay. He was breathing heavily and it looked like a bruise was forming on his cheek.

"Mmmm," he mumbled, leaning over and resting his hands on his knees as he took in deep breaths. "Fine. I'm fine. I just need to catch my breath."

Natalie started crying; she couldn't help it. This wouldn't have happened—Keith getting beat up—if she hadn't called him to come get her. "Keith, I'm so sorry. I didn't think Raff was going to freak out like that. I didn't think he'd care that much that—that."

"Shhh," whispered Keith. "I'm fine. Just out of breath. He didn't get that many good punches on me. Now, let's get out of here, all right?"

It was then something occurred to Natalie, and she couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it before now. "How'd you get here?" she questioned.

He stood up and whispered, "I drove."

"You _drove_?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal. But it was a big deal; it was a _huge_ deal.

"H-how though?"

He shrugged again. "I'm not really sure. I guess I was too worried about you to care how terrified I was to drive."

Stepping close to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, partner. Thank you so much." He hadn't driven in almost six months, and he had done it tonight because he was scared for her safety. The fact Keith had done this meant more to Natalie than he would ever know.

* * *

><p>Natalie watched Keith quietly as he drove. She had offered to drive for him, because he had still seemed pretty nervous when had started the car, but he rejected her offer.<p>

Instead, she inspected him again (just to make sure she was positive he wasn't injured somewhere else) while he drove. Then she caught sight of his hand (she couldn't believe she hadn't noticed the bandage before). Natalie's eyes got wide. "What happened to your hand?" she gasped. She hadn't intended to talk to him while he was driving, but his right hand was wrapped in gauze and she knew he hadn't had that cut when she last hung out with him earlier for breakfast.

"Huh?" mumbled Keith; he gave her a quick glance but then focused his gaze on the road.

"Your hand? What did you do to hurt it—"

"Oh," said Keith, carefully taking his right hand off the wheel and turning it over so Natalie could see his palm. The gauze there was red; the cut was bleeding again. Natalie figured this was because of the punching he had just been doing. "Uh, I got into a fight with a knife."

"A knife, Keith? Really?"

He shrugged and then gripped the steering wheel again. "Yup, stupid accident unloading the dishwasher."

He seemed distracted and Natalie couldn't tell if it was because he was paying too much attention to driving or if there was more to the story than he wanted to tell her. "You need to bandage it again."

"Yeah, I will," he said.

"Pull over," said Natalie. "I'll do it for you. I have some band aids in my purse."

Keith laughed. "What _don't _you have in your purse? And it's fine, partner, I can wait until I get back."

"No," she said. "I want to do it for you. Look, turn right on that dirt road up there." For everything he had done for her tonight—driving, getting beat up, rescuing her—she wanted to do this for him. And plus, she didn't want him to just drop her off at home. She wanted to stay with him for as long as possible. "Pleaseeee," she begged. When he turned on the dirt road, she smiled to herself, proud.

The road was bumpy and Natalie felt a little bad about making Keith drive on the rough terrain, but he actually didn't seem all that bothered. In fact, he actually seemed like he was having fun.

The dirt road led them to a rather large clearing, where Keith parked. "Cool," he said. "This can be our secret spot."

Natalie grinned. "This is awesome." She leaned closer to the window. "I think that's The Brick across from here. Neat!"

"I wouldn't know," muttered Keith. "Never been there."

Natalie rolled her eyes. "It's nothing special. All people worry about over there is what they're wearing, who's hooking up with whom, and showing off their boyfriend."

"The essential information," commented Keith.

"Oh, yeah," continued Natalie. "People live and die by that crap." She leaned back against the seat and angled her body to face Keith. "But-but with you, it's different. It's like…why did I ever care?" Silence filled the truck and Natalie was pretty sure Keith was purposefully not looking at her. Probably because he was blushing (Natalie thought it was adorable). "Here, give me your hand."

She opened her purse and rummaged around and found some band aids. It didn't take long for her to fix his hand, and when she was done her gaze went to the bruise on his cheek. "Does it hurt?" she asked, lifting her hand and softly running her fingers down it.

Shaking his head he whispered, "Not really."

Her gaze trailed to his eyes and she got lost in them. It was like they were staring into each other's souls and she felt breathless. Feelings she had never felt were coursing through her and she couldn't begin to understand what they meant. "K-Keith?"

"Yeah?" he asked, his eyes not once leaving hers. If possible, she would never, ever stop looking at him. If she could spend the rest of her life, staring into Keith's eyes, she would.

She licked her lips, knowing what she was about to say would change their friendship forever, but nothing could stop her now. "I-I really, really want to kiss you right now."

"Natalie?"

"Yeah?" she breathed, hope filling her. Want filling her, too, but she tried to fight it because what if he didn't want her?

"I really, _really_ want you to kiss me."

Natalie wasn't sure who actually kissed whom first. All she knew was suddenly their lips were touching and they were kissing. Kissing like she had never kissed anyone before. They kissed as if they were scared someone was going to stop them, break them apart.

They continued to kiss and Natalie moved closer to Keith; she wanted to be as close to him as possible. Finally, only because she needed some air, did she pull away, breathing heavily. "Wow," breathed Keith.

"Yeah, wow," breathed Natalie, leaning forward and kissing the side of his neck—right now, all she wanted was to kiss him, to touch him. He let out a low moan and it only encouraged her. She wasn't sure when she decided it but her hands were suddenly on his belt and undoing the clasp. "Keith," she breathed. Her heart was beating fast in her chest. The feeling was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Around Raff, her heart would beat fast out of fear. But with Keith? It was from excitement and longing and pure need. "Keith, I don't think I want to stop."

"W-what?" he stuttered. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she said, halting her movements on his belt, "that I don't think I can stop…this. With you. I don't want to." Understanding crossed his features, but before he could say anything she added, "I can't deny my feelings any longer. Keith, I've wanted to be with you since…since I met you I think. And I'm sick of pushing my feelings aside, because they are here and they are real. And-And—"

Keith placed a finger against her lips. "Shhh," he said. "Shut up and kiss me." A smile graced her face; Keith wasn't stupid, he knew what she meant and he _knew _what they were about to do.

They kissed heatedly for the next few minutes and just as she was about to pursue her earlier goal of taking Keith's belt off, an idea hit her. "I want to go to the back of the truck." A smirk crossed Keith's face, and hastily Natalie grabbed a condom that was in her purse. She would have to thank Brooke later for tossing a few in her bag a few weeks ago.

Being March and in the middle of the night, Natalie knew it was most likely cold out, but she didn't care. She didn't want her first time to be cramped in the seat of a truck, but she also didn't want to go home. For some reason, something felt right—and perfect—when Keith laid out a blanket on the bed of the truck and she laid on it.

Kneeling over her, Keith trailed kisses down her neck, and she couldn't help but emit low moans every time he kissed a sensitive spot. As he continued to kiss her, she undid his belt and then unzipped his pants. "Off," she said, pulling them down his hips; he grinned.

Once his pants were off (and shirt, which she had impatiently pulled off him before he resumed his earlier position), she stared at him for a few seconds. He was only clad in his boxer briefs—which left little to the imagination at how excited he was—when it finally hit her, she was going to have sex and she had no idea how. What if she was terrible?

Trying to calm herself down, because who was she kidding? This was _Keith_. Keith who didn't judge and who was sweet and kind and—"I've never done this before," she blurted out just as he leaned down and touched the button of her jeans.

At her admission, his hands stilled. "Neither have I," he whispered.

"Yeah, right," said Natalie, rolling her eyes. She couldn't fathom that Keith had never had sex. Not when he was so perfect. "You don't even seem nervous."

He gave her a shy smile. "For the record," he admitted, "I'm freaking out. You may think my shaking is because I'm cold, but it's because I'm nervous as hell."

How did he know the absolutely perfect thing to say? She smiled and let out a small, nervous laugh. "Well, then," she smiled. "That makes me feel better."

He bent down and kissed her on the lips. "Good."

After that, Natalie felt the nervousness leave her and she pulled Keith to her, lips touching lips. When it was time, Keith readied himself and she nodded in affirmation at his look.

It hurt, but it wasn't as painful as some of her friends had told her it would be. After a few minutes, she let herself relax and she couldn't believe how amazing it was. She had never felt closer to another person in her life; she hadn't thought it possible. Keith was breathing heavily, letting out deep moans that drove her wild. And when he started kissing her neck, she pulled him closer.

When Keith's movements got more erratic, she knew he was close. A minute later, when they were both spent, Keith rolled off of her. Natalie turned to look at him and he was staring at her with a grin. "Holy shit," she started, "That was fantastic."

He winked. "I try."

She hit him playfully on the shoulder before scooting closer to him, pulling the extra blanket on top of them. Now that it was over, she felt the cold seeping into her bones, but no matter how cold it was she didn't want to get up. She didn't want this moment to end.

As they lied there in silence, Natalie thought about what happened. She thought about all of the books she had read and how much better_ her_ moment had been than any scene she had ever read.

* * *

><p>Natalie groaned when the sound of her cell phone ringing woke her. What were the chances someone would call her on the one morning she had been able to sleep in?<p>

Her eyes flew open when she woke up more and the events of last night came crashing back; she wasn't greeted with the sight of her wall, but instead Keith's. Last night, once they hadn't been able to handle the cold any longer, Natalie asked Keith to take her to his place. He hadn't said anything in return, but he hadn't needed to, his grin had said it all.

The buzzing of her phone started again, and this time Natalie quickly jumped out of bed. Keith was sleeping and she wasn't going to be the reason he woke up.

Scrambling, she found her phone at the bottom of her purse and quickly answered it when she saw it was Brooke. "Hello?" she whispered, glancing to the bed to check on Keith. In her haste to answer the phone, she had torn the covers off of him so he was lying on his stomach, head buried in his pillow, only in his boxers briefs. She swallowed thickly and forced herself to look away.

"Natalie? Hello? Earth to—"

"Hi," she said quickly. "Sorry…I—"

"What is going on?" demanded Brooke. "Trish texted me to say Amy texted her that you broke up with Raff last night. Is that true?"

"Yeah," answered Natalie, softly. "It's true." A smile graced her face and she let herself have a quick glance at Keith.

"Holy shit! Why didn't you call me?"

"I've been kind of…busy."

Brooke was silent, processing. "Natalie, why are you whispering?"

"Because," she started, "I don't want to wake—"

"Oh my god! That rumor is true, too? You _did_ leave with Keith last night? What, did you sleep over?"

"Uh…" trailed Natalie. "I think we have a lot to talk about. Can I come over? Like in an hour?"

"One hour," agreed Brooke. "And you're telling me everything, missy. Every little detail."

After hanging up, Natalie stared at her phone for a few seconds, letting her mind process everything that had happened the last twelve hours. She had never felt so happy and so relieved.

Standing up, she realized she was wearing one of Keith's t-shirts. Stifling a giggle, she grabbed her clothes that were on the floor and quickly changed. For some reason, she stuffed the shirt of Keith's she had been wearing in her purse. She didn't care if it was a creepy thing to do; she wanted to have something of his.

Once she was ready to leave, she walked over to Keith's desk and quickly wrote a note. After she placed it on the pillow she had used, she noticed Bailey was on the bed (she wondered if he had slept there all night; she figured he had) staring at her. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and when Bailey was certain she wasn't going to do anything, he rested his head back on Keith's back.

"Good boy," she whispered, before she grabbed the sheet and comforter she had pulled off the bed and covered Keith with them. After, she found herself staring at Keith's sleeping form, debating with herself if she could kiss him. Before she gave it too much thought, she bent down and kissed him on the lips.

The taste of his lips stayed with her the entire way home.

* * *

><p>The front door to Brooke's house flung open and Natalie stepped back, startled. "Jesus, Brooke!" she exclaimed. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"<p>

Rolling her eyes, Brooke grabbed Natalie and dragged her into the house. "Excuse me if I'm a little excited. My best friend has been keeping some very important things from me."

"It's only been for twelve hours," defended Natalie. "I was going to call you as soon as I got home. Can you slow down? And let go of my hand?"

"Sorry," said Brooke sheepishly. "I just can't wait any longer to ask you questions." They entered Brooke's room—the walls were painted a light blue and it was cluttered with various nick-knacks; Brooke liked to collect things—and Natalie sat down on the bed, exhausted. "So spill."

Biting her lip, Natalie tried to figure out what to say. "So, uh, Raff and I are over."

"And?" encouraged Brooke. "Start from the beginning!"

"Okay, okay. So, you know Raff's birthday party was last night?" Brooke nodded. "Well, he kind of started freaking me out so I called Keith to pick me up. Raff flipped when he saw Keith and then after I broke up with him he and Keith got into a fist fight."

"Holy shit. Is Keith okay?"

Natalie nodded. "Yeah, yeah, he was fine. Nothing serious or anything."

"So, are you happy that you and Raff are over. You don't regret it anything, do you?"

Laughing Natalie said, "No, not at all. You know what's funny? What I regret is waiting this long to do it."

This made Brooke smile. "Good. You know what? I don't think I've seen you this happy since…for a really long time." A blush rose on Natalie's cheeks. "And I bet there's more to your story, isn't there?"

"Uh…yeah."

Brooke squealed. "Did you kiss?"

Nodding, Natalie glanced down at her lap. She felt kind of bad that she had never admitted to Brooke that she had kissed Keith before. "Actually, we did more than kiss. We had sex."

Brooke gasped and then let out a loud, excited scream. "Oh my god. My little Natalie is all grown up!" Brooke leaned over and gave Natalie a tight hug. "So, how was it? Tell me! Tell me!"

Natalie couldn't help but smile at Brooke's excitement. She was glad that Brooke wasn't judging her, because what had happened was so much more than just a casual thing. "You don't seem all that surprised I slept with Keith. I mean, I broke up with my boyfriend and told you I slept with a different guy—all in the same night—and you don't seem surprised at all."

"Natalie," started Brooke, "we've known each other since middle school. Some days I think I know you more than you know yourself. Even if you didn't feel it—or at least act on it—I knew how you felt about Keith. And, of course, it's obvious how the guy feels about you. It was just a matter of time."

"We kissed a few times," she admitted. "Before. But Keith and I never really talked about it after. And I couldn't get myself to tell you because I felt like what I was doing was wrong, because I was dating Raff and—"

"Sometimes feelings take over," said Brooke. "Sometimes you don't have control over your heart."

"My heart," whispered Natalie. "Yeah, about that."

"What's up?"

"I don't know how to explain this, but when Keith and I were together last night I got this feeling I've never got before. I had never felt so happy in my life. Everything just felt right and… it's almost impossible to even describe. The feeling."

"I know what that feeling is, Natalie."

At Brooke's statement Natalie said, "What?"

"That feeling, those emotions you felt and feel when you're around Keith. That, Natalie, is love."

* * *

><p>Sunday night arrived sooner than Natalie had expected. Earlier, she thought she would be impatient to see Keith again. But she spent almost the entire day talking to Brooke and by the time she got home and got ready, it was time to pick Keith up and then all she felt was nervous.<p>

Gripped her steering wheel tightly, she took in a few deep breaths. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous to hang out with Keith; they hung out every night. But she couldn't help but know, deep down, their friendship had changed. She wasn't sure what they were now, but they had slept together and she knew there was no going back.

Not that she wanted to.

Mostly, she was concerned on how she should act. Would Keith just act like last night hadn't happened, like they had every time they kissed, or would they talk about this and try and figure it out? She felt like she was going crazy.

The passenger door flew open and she jumped, "Evening, partner," said Keith, flopping down onto his seat.

"Hi," she said softly, turning to look at him. And he looked so so good. With his wild hair, sparkling eyes, and red cheeks from the cold. He always looked good, but now that she felt like she could admire him, she couldn't stop.

"So."

"So."

An awkward silence fell between them and Natalie couldn't help herself and started to laugh. Keith, she could tell, tried hard not to, but was so laughing along with her. "This is kind of awkward, isn't it?"

"Yup," he agreed, smiling. "Pretty much."

It took Natalie a few seconds to stop laughing, but she was finally able to calm down enough to say, "You got my note?" He nodded. "So, swimming?"

He lifted his backpack. "All prepared."

The car ride was silent as Natalie drove to the gym. Thankfully, it wasn't awkward any more. Even though they weren't talking, it felt right. As Keith changed in the bathroom, Natalie took off her sweatpants and t-shirt, revealing a black bikini. She wasn't sure if she had imagined it a few weeks ago, when she had worn this same swimsuit, but she thought Keith might have enjoyed it; she figured it didn't hurt to try.

Her suspicions had been right because as soon as Keith walked out, a blush rose on his cheeks when he caught sight of her. "Hey," he said, voice gruff and deep.

"Hey," she smiled back.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?"

She grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the deep end of the pool. "I have an idea."

"The deep end?" commented Keith. "I'm a pro at that now, Miss Anderson."

Goosebumps rose on Natalie's arm at Keith's voice. Why was he suddenly making her feel like this? Was it because she finally allowed herself to be attracted to him? "Nope, that," she said, pointing to the diving board.

His face turned pale and the grip he had on her arm went slack. "I-I don't know about that." He stared at the board for a few seconds. "Bad idea," he finally added.

"I'll go up with you," she said. "We can jump off the board together."

He stared at the board, contemplating. "Okay," he said. "And that pouty face? It worked. You know I can't say no to that face."

This made Natalie blush. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to notice. Deciding it was the best option, Natalie had Keith walk up the board first, just in case she needed to intervene like that one day at school. This time, he seemed much calmer and even though it took him a few minutes to get to the top, he made it. He was kneeling on the board though, gripping the metal sides tightly.

Natalie kneeled next to him. "Want me to help you stand?" she asked, watching him warily. He was breathing deeply and shaking a little, but she was happy he didn't seem to be on the verge of a panic attack.

"Okay," he finally said.

Once she was standing up, she gently grabbed one of Keith's hands that was gripping the side. When their hands twined together, he loosed his grip and let Natalie lift him up. He was shaking a little more now, but other than that he still seemed all right. "You okay?" she asked, just to make sure.

"Uh huh," he said. "So far, so good. I don't think there are any looming panic attacks coming." He winked. "As long as I don't look down…"

Natalie smiled, happy he was doing well, and then felt her face turn serious. "Keith, can I ask you something?"

"I knew it," he stated. "You got me up here and trapped me so we could talk about what happened last night." His voice was joking and playful.

"I'm sorry," she said. It wasn't completely true. She had wanted to take up to the diving board for the past few days, and today seemed like the perfect time to do so. And then, once on the board, she figured it was also the perfect time to talk about last night.

"Don't apologize," he said. "Ask away."

"Okay," she said. "Are-are we just not going to talk about what happened last night, or does that change us?"

"Change us? How?"

Natalie shrugged, feeling her cheeks burn in embarrassment. "Change us…like are we just friends or—"

"—Or boyfriend and girlfriend?" he supplied.

Nodding, Natalie frowned; she didn't like the tone of Keith's voice. This hadn't been how she imagined this conversation would go. She had hoped he would ask her to be his girlfriend.

But then she remembered the conversation back when they first became friends, how he said he was too scared to love again. Even if she didn't want to, Natalie understood. She was beginning to realize true love _was_ real, but with that understanding she also knew how scary loving someone was. Because losing that one person—Keith—would be physically painful.

"Yeah, boyfriend and girlfriend," she muttered.

"Oh," he whispered. "Look, Natalie, I-I don't think that's a good idea."

Tears blurred her vision and she looked down at the shiny water. For a second, she felt like jumping off the board, away from this conversation, away from Keith. "Why not?" she whispered back, still staring down at the water. "Is this because of what you said a few months ago, about being scared?"

"Of falling in love?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you didn't believe in love?" he asked.

She wanted to say, _I think I do because_ _I _think _I'm in love with you. All I know is I need to be with you. I need you like I need air to breathe. _But she didn't; instead, she said, shrugging, "Things change. So, is that why?"

"No," he admitted. "It's not anymore, because I think it's too late for that. Sometimes, you can't stop yourself from falling in love with someone." His answer caused Natalie's breath to hitch. Was he implying what he thought he was? That he was falling in love with her?

"Then why?"

"I-I don't know."

This angered Natalie. She could tell he knew why, by the expression on his face. Raising her voice she said, "Yes, you do! And you owe it to me to tell me."

"Because," he admitted, voice tight. "Because, Natalie, you're too good for me."

"What?" she exclaimed, voice loud enough it echoed through the entire room. "Keith, are you crazy?" Taking a few shuddering breaths she said, "How can I be too good for you when without you I am nothing?"

Keith's eyes got wide. "Don't say that," he said.

"Don't tell me what I can and can't say, because what I just said was true, Keith." He bit his lip. "What makes you think I'm too good for you?"

Keith's eyes got glossy. "There's a lot of stuff about me you don't know. And it wouldn't be fair to you to date me and not really know me."

"I. Don't. Care," said Natalie. "I don't care, Keith. I want to be with you. We have hung out almost every night for six months. I think I know you enough." She was gripping both his hands tightly now. "So we're going to try this thing out and if it doesn't work, we'll still be friends because we both know, no matter what, we can't not have each other in our lives. Okay?"

Natalie waited with baited breath for Keith to respond. He looked so torn Natalie didn't know what to expect him to say. Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest as she waited for Keith to reply. "Okay," he finally whispered.

At his answer, happiness flooded Natalie and she kissed him, the diving board bouncing a little with her movement. When she pulled away, only a few inches away from his face she whispered, "We're going to jump off now, all right?"

"Okay," he whispered back. "On three?"

"On three."

Hands gripped together, they counted to three, then jumped. Even when their bodies broke the surface of the water, their hands didn't separate.

* * *

><p>A week.<p>

It had been a week since Natalie had started dating Keith and she had never been happier. He was miles different than Raff. And so perfect. But the thing was, nothing else (other than the fact she got to kiss him whenever she wanted) changed about how they acted around each other, which she loved. She was glad their relationship hadn't changed their friendship.

There were two and half days left of school before Spring Break, so for the past few nights she and Keith had been discussing what they were going to do during the week. One of them included figuring out what the Mystery Pie was made of.

Opening her locker, she was getting her lunch and books for her last two classes of the day when Raff stopped by. "What do you want?" she sighed. She was supposed to meet Keith outside for lunch (strangely, the weather had been nice enough they had eaten outside the last few days) and really didn't want to deal with Raff right now.

"I need to talk to you," said Raff.

"No." Not looking at him, she grabbed her English book and put it in her backpack.

"It's important," he whispered, leaning close to her. Closer to her than she felt comfortable. "It's about your new boy toy."

This caught Natalie's attention. "Use his name. And what is so interesting that I don't know?" she questioned.

"It's about his parents," he said.

"I already know all about that," she commented, slamming her locker shut. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to go have lunch with _Keith_." He was acting kind of strange. He had been pissed and angry at her all week but now he was acting calm and way nicer than he had been.

"Trust me," he started. "This you don't know." He flashed a folded piece of paper in front of her.

"What is that?" she sighed.

"An article," he started, "about how Keith's parents died."

"_Died_?" she gasped. With quick reflexes, she grabbed the paper from Raff. Part of her expected the paper to be blank, but when she unfolded it there was an article, dated October second of last year.

Hastily, Natalie skimmed the article, trying to find evidence that what Raff was telling her was a lie. But the detail of the accident fit Keith's telling exactly; the one part that was different was his parents had been with him.

And they had died.

"Oh my god," she whispered. So many different emotions were flooding through her. Sadness, regret, pain. Mostly, though, she felt angry. She was angry—so angry—at Keith for lying to her.

Had Keith really been lying to her since they met? She needed to have him confirm this. Without saying anything to Raff, she bolted, running down the hallway, through the cafeteria, and outside where Keith was standing by a tall brick wall they normally ate lunch on.

He smiled when he saw her, but when she pushed him hard against the chest, so his back crashed into the brick wall, his smile faded. "What's—"

"What the hell, Keith!" she screamed, knowing she had probably got the attention of half the school. "Tell me this isn't true. Read this and tell me it's all a lie."

She jammed the paper to his chest and he shakily opened it. The emotion on his face—complete sadness and despair—when his eyes graced the article answered all her questions and she didn't even bother to wait for him to explain, she just turned around and walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_I hope you guys like the chapter. Please send me a review and let me know what you thought. I'd love to know your favorite scenes!_


	19. Everybody Hurts

**A/N: ** _Thanks for all the reviews. You have no idea how much I loved getting them. Here's chapter nineteen—only four more chapters to go!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen: Everybody Hurts<strong>

_Morning, partner! :) _

_I didn't want to wake you, so you get this note instead! I just wanted to thank you again for last night. I want you to know how much I appreciate you coming to get me. The whole night with you was amazing._

_By the way, I'm picking you up tonight at our normal time. You better be there._

_Natalie._

Keith grinned as he placed the note back on the pillow. For once—in Keith wasn't sure how long—he had woken up _happy_. The emotion was so rare for a few seconds he lied in bed and savored the feeling traveling through him. He hoped it never went away.

After a few minutes he finally dragged himself out of bed. Glancing at the clock, he was shocked to see it was almost eleven thirty in the morning. The rest of the day was a normal Sunday—he got ready, he made lunch, he did his homework—but there was almost something, someone, in the back of his mind that distracted him for minutes at a time.

Natalie.

* * *

><p>Four days later, Natalie was in Keith's bed and he wondered if he was <em>dreaming<em>. They had gone to the diner earlier and then decided to come back to his room. It took less than five minutes before they were under the covers, half undressed. "Are you sure your aunt won't hear us?" whispered Natalie, glancing worriedly at Keith's bedroom door.

"No," said Keith quietly. "I'm not sure."

Slapping him hard on his shoulder Natalie exclaimed, "Keith! You promised me if we came here to…you know… no one would hear us."

"Well, that depends," started Keith, smirk gracing his face. "You have to make sure you're not loud."

A blush grew on Natalie's face—exactly what Keith wanted. "Shut up!" she demanded. "The same goes for you," she added, muttering.

"Look," started Keith, sounding more serious. Natalie moved closer to him, pulling the blankets tighter her as she did so. Their bare skin touched. Goosebumps appeared on Natalie's arm. "It's almost three in the morning, my aunt is fast asleep. And listen, even if she does hear something, I locked my door like you said—well more like demanded."

Natalie grinned at him and leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "Good," she said, grin still on her face. Her smile was intoxicating and he couldn't prevent himself from smiling back. "Now, where were we?"

* * *

><p>For a few seconds, Keith watched Natalie walk away. But then he ran after her because he couldn't let her run away; he needed to explain everything to her. Make her understand why he didn't tell her about his parents.<p>

Weaving his way through a crowd of students, he caught up to Natalie just as she got to the door that led to the cafeteria. Gently, he grabbed her arm to stop her. She whipped around to face him. "Natalie, wait," he breathed. "Please, just let me explain."

"Why?" she hissed. "Why should I let you explain? You lied about _everything_."

Frantically, Keith shook his head. "I didn't. I didn't lie about every—"

"You told me your parents were in Europe and all along they had _died_. For months you had me think your parents just left you."

"I wanted to tell you," said Keith quickly. He was afraid she was going to walk away any second. "Trust me."

"Trust you?" interrupted Natalie, letting out a sarcastic laugh. "How can I trust anything you say right now?"

"I know," said Keith, hating how his voice wavered. "I'm sorry. I'll tell you everything. You can ask me anything."

"No," she deadpanned. "I-I can't. I can't talk to you right now, Keith. All I can think about is how you've been lying to me this whole time. I feel like our friendship was an entire lie."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I need time," she said. "To think about this. I just found out about all of this and everything is overwhelming. I'm sorry." And before he could say anything in reply, she turned around and walked through the doors.

* * *

><p>He was ten minutes late to English. After Natalie walked away, he had retreated to the bathroom to cool off. There had been an audience and he hadn't felt like getting stared at any longer.<p>

Apparently news at the school spread like wildfire, because when he walked in his classroom everyone stared at him and started whispering. He tried to ignore it. His teacher stopped her lesson and turned to face him. "Nice of you to join us, Keith. You know the penalty for—" She halted mid-sentence when she caught sight of his face. "Please sit down. We're going over chapter twelve."

For a few seconds, he was frozen in place because normally he sat next to Natalie and he wasn't sure if he should today. After a quick glance of the room, he realized his normal seat was the only one available.

As he made his way to his desk, Natalie kept her eyes on her book. She didn't once look at him. Not even when he sat down right next to her. The lesson continued and Keith got out his book and tried to pay attention.

But he couldn't.

He wasn't sure how much time passed—he was pretty sure it was only a few minutes—when he realized people were _still_ whispering and glancing at him every few seconds.

Was the news he had lied to Natalie, that his parents had died really that interesting? Didn't they have other things to talk about?

He tried to block everyone out and focus on the lesson, but everything felt like it was falling apart. When the words on the pages of his book got blurry, he realized he might actually start crying. That he might actually breakdown. He needed to leave. He couldn't cry in front of his whole class.

In front of Natalie.

Before his mind registered what he was doing, he was out of his seat and making a quit exit. He ignored the commotion of the students and his teacher's worried calls at his abrupt departure.

He made it halfway down the hallway before, without warning, he flung his backpack against a random locker. He had hoped doing so would get him angry, because he wanted to be angry. Why wasn't he angry? He'd rather be angry than sad. Anger was easier to deal with. He understood it more. It was more accepted.

Rage was better than tears.

He flung his backpack against the locker again and when he heard a gasp behind him he sprung around to see Brooke standing on the other side of the hallway. "Keith?" she whispered, looking extremely concerned. "You okay?"

Apparently the news hadn't traveled to her ears yet. "Fine," he muttered. And before she could try to get him to talk more he was running down the hallway, out the front door, and all the way to his aunt's. He didn't once stop. When he got to his aunt's, he collapsed on the couch. He was so out of breath he was wheezing.

But at least he never cried.

* * *

><p>Keith flinched when a hand touched his shoulder. "Sorry," came his aunt's voice. "I was checking to see if you were asleep."<p>

"No," said Keith, his voice dry from lack of use the past few hours. "I was just listening to music." For once, he actually wished he was sleeping. With everything that had happened with Natalie today he wanted to sleep so he could forget (he didn't care if he had nightmares), but not matter how hard he tried his mind wouldn't let him fall asleep.

"Well, dinner's ready," said Melissa as Keith sat up in bed and took out his headphones. She got off his bed and said, "We're having ravioli."

They were silent as they ate; Melissa tried to make small talk like she normally did, but after getting one-worded answers she stopped trying. It wasn't until she was picking up her dishes (Keith was still picking at his meal) did she speak up again, concern prominent on her face. "Sweetie, are you okay? I can't help but ask. You've barley said more than five words to me and you look really sad. Did something happen at school?"

Keith hated how she had to ask the one question he was determined to not talk about. He shrugged, purposefully looking down at the table. For some reason, there was a tingling behind his eyes. Again, he felt like he was about to cry.

The last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of his aunt. Because crying meant he was weak and pathetic. It seemed like all he wanted to do since his fight with Natalie was cry and he hated it.

"I'm fine," he mumbled.

He looked up to see his aunt biting her lip; he knew what that gesture meant: she didn't believe him and was trying to figure out the best way to help him. "Look," she finally started, voice soft, "you may think you're good at hiding your feelings, Keith, but you're really not. I can tell you're sad and something's bothering you. I don't want to sit here and force you to talk. I just want you to know I'm here and I'll listen to you. Okay?"

He tried to smile, but he knew it looked fake; he let the imitation smile disappear off his face quickly. "Okay," he whispered. At first, he thought about telling her he was fine and he didn't need to talk, but the tingling in his eyes got worse and for once he actually wanted to tell her what was wrong because he felt lost. It was like for the past few months the grief he felt for his parents' death had lessened because he had Natalie in his life. And now when he was certain Natalie would never forgive him for what he did (both for lying and for killing his parents) the grief and sadness he felt was almost overwhelming. In a way, it was worse than when he had lost his parents. Because now, he felt like he was losing someone else.

He was sick of losing people.

For the next few minutes, he didn't talk; instead, he became interested in his can of pop. "Natalie," he started, voice wavering. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to compose himself. "Natalie found out. About my parents."

Sadness graced Melissa's face. "She didn't take it well?"

He shook his head, trailing his finger around the top ring of the soda can. "No," he choked out, blinking his eyes in quick succession. "She doesn't want to talk to me. Half the school knows," he added.

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Here's the thing, I've known Natalie for a few years, and she's a smart girl. I'm sure all she needs is time to process what she found out. I'm certain she cares about you too much to let you go because of one lie."

Keith wanted to tell his aunt it was more than just a lie. Not only did she find out he lied to her, she found out the one thing that haunted his dreams. He had killed his parents. "I dunno," he mumbled. He needed to stop talking about this, because the more he did, the sadder he got and he didn't know if he could physically deal with being sadder than he was. "I think I'm going to go to bed."

Melissa gave him a wan smile. "Okay, but I'm always here to talk if you need someone."

"I know," he said, standing up. Deep down, he really wanted to believe her, but like always, doubt took over. Doubt that she really didn't want him; doubt that she believed he had been the reason his parents had died.

"Day and night, you got that? I don't care if you have to wake me up at three in the morning. I will _always _be here for you."

* * *

><p>Spring Break sucked. Natalie didn't try contacting him and Keith respected her enough to not find her and make her talk. He spent the week in a depressed-like haze, sitting in front of the television and wishing he could sleep. For some reason, his nightmares had increased with a vengeance. He barley got to sleep for an hour before he woke in a cold sweat, shaking and terrified.<p>

The week after Spring Break, Keith hoped Natalie had had enough time to think about things and come find him and talk. But when he arrived in chemistry class Monday morning, she ignored him, talking to him about their lab as if they were just acquaintances. It hurt, because what if that's what they were now? Just acquaintances?

A few times he opened his mouth, ready to ask her the questions that were plaguing him, 'How much time do you need? Will you ever talk to me again?'

But he didn't because he deserved everything he was getting. What Natalie was putting him through.

The rest of the week went by in similar fashion and as the days passed, his depression grew. By Friday (a little more than two weeks since The Fight), he knew his grades were starting to fall, but for some reason he couldn't get himself to care. Every night after he got home from school he tried to do his homework, but he couldn't. Even now, while he was in school and in his favorite class—math—he had a hard time paying attention. It was like he was surrounded by a dark cloud and he wasn't sure how to get out.

For the next half hour, as his teacher droned on about the Pythagorean Theorem, Keith thought about Natalie. When there was only fifteen minute left of class, an announcement was made over the intercom. Keith listened with rapt attention. "Due to the blizzard warning, we are issuing an early release—" Keith stopped listening, because now he had another problem. How was he going to get home?

His aunt had dropped him off (even though he was driving now, he refused to in the snow) and had said she'd pick him up. As soon as his teacher gave the class permission to call parents, he dialed his aunt's phone number.

She didn't answer, so he left a message.

Ten minutes later, after his class had been released and students were making their way to the buses or to wait for parents to pick them up, Keith tried to call his aunt again. No answer.

Keith glanced outside with dread. He knew he would have to be out of here within the hour and he knew how hectic his aunt's schedule had been lately; he wasn't all that confident she would get his call in time.

With a groan, he realized he would have to walk to his aunt's. Knowing the snow was only supposed to get worse, he quickly stopped by his locker to grab his coat.

Outside, it was freezing. Only an inch of snow covered the sidewalk, mostly it was icy, which made walking treacherous. The wind was the worse; it made it incredibly difficult to walk and by the time he was a third of the way to his aunt's, his teeth were chattering and he had fallen on his butt twice.

Half a block later, the honking of a horn caused him to jump and almost fall again. "Keith!" he heard against the howling of the wind. He turned around to see Brooke, car parked haphazardly on the side of the road, beckoning him over with her hand.

"Hi," he said when he got to her car; the window was rolled down a little.

"Get in my car," she demanded. "I can't believe you're trying to walk home in this."

Keith didn't even try to object. Opening the passenger door, he slid into the seat, letting out an audible sigh as warm heat soaked into his skin. "Thanks," he said. "I was pretty sure I was going to turn into a popsicle."

Brooke looked rather worried and adjusted the heat to the highest it would go and then aimed all the vents in his direction. "So, straight?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Keith, teeth still chattering. The drive was silent as Brooke paid attention to the roads. Keith only spoke up when he told her which direction to go.

Twenty minutes later, Brooke pulled into his driveway. "Thanks for stopping and driving me home. You didn't have to."

"You could've died, Keith."

Rolling his eyes, he laughed. "Prolly not."

He unbuckled his seatbelt and put his hand on the door handle, but Brooke placed her hand gently on his arm to stop him. "Natalie told me what happened. Are you okay?"

"Just peachy," whispered Keith. "Everything's going great. I can't wait to wake up in the morning and start a new day."

Brooke frowned and Keith wished he could take back his sarcastic remark. "Natalie's miserable, too, Keith. Just so you know."

"Yeah, well," he trailed off.

"Can I ask you something?" asked Brooke softly.

Heart faltering, Keith wanted to say no and quickly bolt, but all Brooke had ever been to him was nice and he felt like he owed it to her. "Shoot."

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"I," he started, but stopped to think about how he wanted to answer the question. "It's complicated, Brooke. When I first met Natalie my parents had just _died_ and at the time, even if I had wanted to tell her, I don't think I could have said the words. I wasn't in a good place and plus I was terrified she'd blame me."

"For what?"

"For killing them."

"Killing your parents? Are you _crazy_? From what I know it was an accident. I don't think—"

"—Anyway, none of that matters, I'm pretty sure Natalie and I are over." He was frantic to leave. He hadn't meant to tell Brooke so much, but the truth was aching to release. He just wished Natalie had been with them, too.

Keith was glad Brooke sensed he was done talking. "I've known Natalie for a really long time, Keith, and one thing I know is that she's stubborn, but I also know she loves you and she's not going to let that go."

Keith was silent. Then said, before quickly opening the door, "She doesn't love me,"

"Keith, wait!" said Brooke as he stepped out of the car.

Ice and wind chilled his face but he turned around to let Brooke talk. "I'm not sure if anyone has said this yet, but I want to say I'm sorry. For your loss."

Brooke's comment took Keith aback for a few seconds. He felt like Brooke meant what she was saying. Her remorse meant something to him, unlike all those Facebook posts he had read on his Wall months ago. "Thanks, Brooke," he said sincerely. "That means a lot."

And then he closed the passenger door and watched her drive away. As he walked into the house and made himself some coffee to warm up, he hoped what Brooke said about Natalie was true.

* * *

><p>The following Thursday, Keith was stuck in Al's office again.<p>

"You seem depressed."

Raising his eyebrows, Keith said, "Wow, Al, do you want me to commend you for your excellent observation skills?"

Al frowned. "Keith, for the past three appointments you've been moodier than normal and much sadder. I thought we were making progress, but now I feel like we're almost backtracking. Do you want to talk about what's going on?"

"What do you think?"

"I think talking would help." When Keith didn't speak he added, "I know I say this almost every meeting but all I want to do is help you."

The nagging voice in the back of Keith's voice said, _You don't deserve help. Don't you remember what you _did_? You killed your parents. _But even as the voice continued to repeat those words, Keith wondered: when did he get to stop blaming himself? When did he get to allow himself to move on? Some days, all he wanted was the ability to feel like he deserved to talk to someone. To feel like he deserved to get help and learn to move on from the worst day of his life.

Ignoring the voice for the first time, he finally whispered, voice wavering, "I-I know."

Al waited a few seconds before asking, "Is there a reason you seem so determined to not open up to me?"

Averting his eyes, Keith became interested in his jeans. "Because," he admitted, "I don't deserve it."

"Why do you think you don't deserve it?"

A tingling sensation developed behind his eyes and Keith squeezed his eyelids shut and prayed the feeling would go away. It didn't. "Because I ruined everything," he whispered, blinking rapidly. "I've killed my parents and ruined the one friendship I had."

"Are you referring to your friendship with Natalie?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Keith nodded and then placed his thumb and index finger on the corner of his eyes to prevent tears from falling. He was scared he wouldn't be able to prevent them for long.

"What happened?" inquired Al softly.

"She found," started Keith, but stopped to try and compose himself. "She found out I lied about what happened to my parents."

"You didn't tell her the truth?" wondered Al.

"No," choked Keith. It was getting harder to prevent the tears. He continued to stare at his jeans. "I lied to her, okay? And now she won't forgive me for it."

"Have you tried to talk to her?"

"No, she said she wanted time."

Al nodded at Keith's response. "That's good. I'm sure she needs time to think about—"

"It's been three weeks, Al. Three weeks. She only talks to me during chemistry and that's because we're lab partners. I'm pretty sure she's done with me."

"I bet," started Al, but Keith cut him off.

Now that he had started talking; he couldn't stop. He had so much on his chest and he needed to let it out or he was going to go crazy. "I don't know what to do," he muttered, hastily wiping away a tear that had escaped. "I can't sleep—and trust me I have _tried_—I have no interest in anything anymore. I can't even get myself to do my homework. Homework use to distract me enough to stop thinking about my parents, but nothing works anymore. I-I feel like I can't deal with this…this pain anymore. I've been in this cloud of pain for almost half a year and I want it to go away or-or I don't know…It's just—it's getting worse."

For a few seconds, Al didn't speak. Keith didn't dare to look up and show Al he had actually started crying (even though he was pretty sure Al could tell). Keith was pretty sure Al was shocked he had expressed himself so much. "Keith, what you're feeling is not uncommon. When people go through the type of trauma you have, they hurt. They get sad. Everybody hurts, Keith."

"Sometimes," whispered Keith. "I wonder why I couldn't have just died in the accident. Why did I have to live? Living, it's so much harder." He couldn't believe he had admitted this and quickly said, voice sharp and demanding, "I don't want to talk anymore." He was so mad at himself for being so vulnerable in front of Al. What was wrong with him?

For the next few minutes, Al tried to ask him a few questions, but Keith stayed silent. Finally Al admitted defeat and said, "I haven't mentioned it yet, because I don't like having patients take medication if they don't have to, but I'm going to prescribe you some antidepressants and some sleeping pills."

"Whatever," said Keith, standing up to stand in front of Al's desk. Once Al was done writing the prescriptions, Keith turned around and walked out, not caring he still had fifteen minutes left of his appointment.

* * *

><p>"I made cookies!" came Aunt Melissa's voice. Keith watched his aunt walk in front of the movie he was watching (the past three weekends he spent watching movies on his aunt's big-screened T.V.).<p>

She placed the tray of cookies and a cup of milk on the coffee table, before she sat down next to him. Keith sat up to give her room.

"Thanks," he said, adjusting the blanket on his lap and pausing the movie, but not making any move to get the cookies.

"I also brought you your antidepressant medication. I noticed you haven't taken them yet." Silence. Then, "I know Al prescribed these to you and I do think they may help you. Keith, I'm at a loss here. I thought you were getting better, and then—I just want you to know that if you don't want to take them, you don't have to."

"Okay," whispered Keith, taking the bottle of pills from her and dropping them onto his lap. "I'll think about it."

For a few seconds, Melissa stared at him and Keith was about to say something because it was making him uncomfortable, but she spoke up before he could. "I hate that you started wearing your hood again—it worries me and—" Raising her hand, she moved the side of his hood to expose his face; he jerked away almost instantly. "I miss seeing your face."

"Sorry," he muttered. "You should probably get use to it."

Melissa sighed. "Have things not improved with Natalie?"

Shaking his head, he replied, "No. I'm pretty sure she's never going to talk to me again."

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Would it help if maybe I called her? And explained everything?"

"No," demanded Keith. "Don't talk to her. Ever. Okay?"

"All right." At his stern gaze she added, "I promise I won't talk to her. Unless you change your mind."

Nodding, Keith leaned forward to grab the tray of cookies. He wasn't really hungry, but he was pretty sure Melissa had made them for him. She seemed pleased when he took a bite. They were moist and chocolaty and perfect.

Melissa stood up after he took another bite and she was halfway to the stairs when she turned around and said, "I have a training class next week in St. Louis. I fly out Monday and return Friday night. You'll be okay, right? If you don't want me to go, I can postpone the training. I'll get groceries tomorrow and also leave some money."

"No, I'll be fine," said Keith. "I have a mandatory field trip next Tuesday for chemistry, though. Can you sign the form and write a check for me? I need to turn it in on Monday."

"Absolutely," smiled Melissa. "I'll leave it on the kitchen table for you."

After his aunt was gone, Keith turned the movie back on and finished his plate of cookies. When he put his plate back on the coffee table the bottle of his antidepressant pills rolled off his lap and onto the floor.

He picked them up and stared at them.

He was torn. He really didn't want to take the pills, because he didn't want to have to admit to himself that his…depression or whatever he had was this bad now. But the hope the medication could numb the pain he was in—even if it was just for a few hours—was too tempting.

So, without any more thought, he opened the bottle, took a pill, lied down, and waited for it to take effect.

* * *

><p>The chemistry field trip had left Keith miserable, so when he got home Tuesday after school, he ignored his homework (like he had been doing for the past month) and got into bed and spent the night watching T.V.<p>

He must've fallen asleep, because the next thing he remembered was waking up to Jake gripping his arm and trying to drag him out of his bed. "Get up," Jake growled, pulling harshly at Keith's arm. "I said get up."

Dazed, Keith was dragged through his room and up the stairs. When they reached the landing, Jake slammed him hard against the wall; the staircase railing jabbing him painfully in the back.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Keith held back a groan of pain. "I'm sick of you," growled Jake. Keith was pretty sure he smelled beer on his breath. "You're ruining everything. You're a piece of shit." (A few months ago, Keith would've wondered what had gotten Jake so riled up, but nowadays Keith realized Jake didn't need a reason.)

"What is your problem?" hissed Keith. He may have realized he didn't have to actually do anything to piss Jake off, but he didn't understand why they couldn't just be amicable with each other.

"My problem is _you_. I had all these plans with Melissa. And then you had to come into the picture. This place was supposed to be my home, too. But now Melissa thinks we should wait. Put our future on hold and it's all because of you."

Keith was glad Melissa didn't let him move in; the thought of Jake living here permanently made him terrified. "Sorry," said Keith, but he couldn't hide the sarcasm that filled his voice and Jake noticed. "But maybe I have nothing to do with it. Maybe Aunt Melissa just realizes what a horrible mistake it would be."

"Shut up!" screamed Jake and without warning he slapped Keith hard on the cheek—so hard Keith's head snapped to the right, causing his whole body to move with the force. If Jake didn't still have a grip on his arm, Keith was pretty sure he would've lost balance and fallen down the stairs.

"Trust me," said Jake. "I will not stop trying until you are _gone_. One day, your aunt is going to realize she doesn't want to be responsible for a moody, depressed teenager."

"Doubtful," whispered Keith. "I think what'll happen is she'll realized what a poor, excuse of a man you are and leave you."

Another slap to the face but before Keith could gather his footing, Jake let go of his arm. Because of this, Keith couldn't catch his balance and he fell down the stairs in a tumble, hitting his elbow with a sickening crash against the wall as he went down.

When he landed—on his stomach—he tried to catch his breath. The pain in his elbow was already trailing up his arm and it was so painful he could only take in painful gasps of air.

Before he could catch his breath a shoe contacted with his side and he was flung onto his back, his elbow bending back painfully. Jake tiered over him, but Keith was too dazed to stand up and get the hell away.

"I promise you one thing, boy, I don't care what I have to do to get rid of you. Just trust me on this: you do not want to tell your aunt about this little chat we just had. Or your girlfriend? Natalie, is it? She better watch her back." And after one last kick to Keith's stomach, Jake stomped away.

Five minutes passed before Keith was able to get to his knees and crawl to his room. Shakily, he stood up, closing the door and locking it before he collapsed onto his bed.

Bailey was hidden under the covers, only his head exposed, shaking. He seemed extremely concerned for Keith, though, and braved the world outside the safety of the covers to check on him.

Breathing heavily, Keith said to Bailey, "I-I'm okay."

This was a lie. He was not okay. He was pretty sure his elbow was broken and he was scared out of his mind.

Bailey kissed Keith on the cheek before lying down next to him. Heart pounding Keith lied in bed, trying to figure out what to do. Every noise from upstairs scared him, because he thought Jake would make his way back into his room. Keith wasn't entirely sure a locked door would prevent him from coming in.

Another loud noise caused Keith to jump and hastily he grabbed his cell phone off his nightstand. With shaking hands he dialed Natalie's number (because who else could he call?), but she never answered.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, even though Keith was so sad. This was probably one of the hardest chapters I've had to write for this story. I'd love to know what you thought. Thanks for reading and please review!_


	20. Only Hope

**A/N: **_Happy Easter, everyone! Thanks for all the reviews! Here's a new chapter for you. Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty: Only Hope<strong>

"You're freaking me out."

At the sound of her brother's voice, Natalie spun around to face him, battered-covered spatula in hand. "Hi!" she said, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "Why am I freaking you out?"

"You're singing, dancing, and baking. It's weird."

"Me singing, dancing, and baking is _weird_?"

"Uh, yeah." He rolled his eyes.

"Don't you do those things like everyday?" she inquired. "Well, not the baking part but the singing and dancing."

"Yeah, but I do those things _everyday_. For me they're normal. You on the other hand never do those things." He shrugged and walked over to the bowl of batter Natalie had been mixing for cupcakes and dipped his finger in.

"Ew, gross!" she screeched, moving the bowl out of his reach. "In case you want to know, I'm happy right now. And when I'm happy I sign, dance, and bake."

A sparkle appeared in Zach's eyes. "Why are you happy, sis?"

A huge grin spread across her face and she practically yelled, "I broke up with Raff last Saturday night!" She twirled.

"Way to go, Nats!" said Zach, giving her a high five as she ended her second twirl.

"And guess what else?"

Zach snuck a second taste of the batter, but Natalie didn't really care. She was in too good of a mood. "What?"

"Keith is officially my boyfriend." She felt kind of childish saying it this way, but honestly she didn't really care. She liked saying it.

"See?" started Zach, "I bet that deep talk we had really helped."

Natalie laughed and turned her attention back to her cupcake batter. "Maybe," she joked.

"Does that mean those cupcakes you're making are for your dear, sweet brother who gave you such great advice?"

"Actually, they're for my boyfriend, but seeing as you stuck your finger in the batter _twice_ I may have to make two batches."

"Ha!" said Zach. "That trick _always_ works."

* * *

><p>"Natalie! <em>Natalie<em>!" At the shouting of her name, Natalie stopped halfway through the parking lot and spun around to see Brooke running after her.

"What's up?" asked Natalie once Brooke neared her.

Brooke took a few seconds to catch her breath. Natalie wondered how far Brooke had chased after her. "I thought we were meeting at your locker after school. To get coffee?"

"Oh," said Natalie, frowning. "I'm so sorry. I meant to text you and tell you I couldn't go."

"Why not?"

"I-I something came up and I'm not in the mood." Averting her gaze, she glanced at the ground, not being able to look Brooke in the eye.

"What happened?" pressed Brooke, stepping closer. Natalie didn't answer and then Brooke, surprisingly asked, "Did something happen with Keith?"

Not being able to stop herself, Natalie's head shot up and she hastily asked, "What makes you think something happened with Keith?"

"Well," started Brooke slowly, giving Natalie a look that made her squirm, "I saw him in the hall today. He seemed really upset and then he just like ran out of the school when I tried to talk to him. Do you know—"

"—Yeah, I know exactly what's wrong with him. He lied to me."

"Lied to you?" said Brooke, sounding shocked. "About what?"

Sniffling, Natalie mumbled, "Everything."

Confused Brooke asked, "Everything? What are you talking about? Natalie—"

"About his parents." She wiped tears away that were about to slide down her cheeks.

"You mean they aren't in Europe?"

"No," whispered Natalie. The fact she finally told someone what she had found out earlier physically hurt because it made it _real_. While she had been in school, it had been easier to imagine she was making everything up. That Keith hadn't lied and they weren't fighting. But now she admitted to Brooke what was going on, everything felt like it was crumbling down around her. "His parents passed away."

"What?!" exclaimed Brooke. "Oh my god. When?"

"You know the car accident I told you about?" Brooke nodded and Natalie continued. "His parents were with him and they passed away in the accident."

"Oh my god," whispered Brooke. "That's horrible. Did he say why he didn't tell you?"

"No," started Natalie. "Not really."

"Oh."

Sighing, she admitted, "He wanted to talk, but I need time to think things over. I feel like so many people have been lying to me lately—my parents and Raff lied to me all the time. I thought I could finally trust Keith."

"What are you going to do?" wondered Brooke. "And, Natalie, just because Keith lied to you doesn't necessarily mean you can't trust him. What he kept from you was a pretty big deal, maybe he had reason to."

"I need time," answered Natalie quickly. "I need to think about everything that's gone on, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess," said Brooke. Then she added, "Hey, I want you to know that I have never lied to you and never will. You can trust me, you understand?"

Warmth filled Natalie's heart at this. She didn't think she had ever appreciated Brooke more than in this moment. Giving Brooke a watery smile she said, "I understand."

* * *

><p>Two weeks had passed by since the fight and Natalie still had not talked to Keith. Well, they talked, but only during chemistry and only when they had to do a lab together. Other than that, it was like they weren't friends and never had been. Natalie was miserable. She had ruined everything and didn't know how to fix it. She felt has if she had let too much time pass and now it was too late to fix things with Keith.<p>

It was Friday and school had been let out early due to an approaching blizzard. Natalie had only been home for fifteen minutes when the doorbell rang. She figured it was Zach, trying to be annoying and decided to ignore it, but when it rang again, she left her room to see who was at the door.

She was shocked to see Brooke standing there, shivering in the cold. "What are you doing here?" asked Natalie as she opened the door wider and let Brooke inside the warm house.

Unraveling her scarf Brooke said, "We need to talk. But first, make me some hot chocolate."

"Geez, always so demanding," winked Natalie as she walked into the kitchen. As Natalie scavenged for her secret dash of hot chocolate packets, she made small talk with Brooke.

Ten minutes later, they were upstairs hidden away in Natalie's room. "So," started Natalie, sitting down on her bed before taking a sip of the chocolate. It melted in her mouth. "What are you doing here?"

Brooke took her time answering her question by taking a few sips of her drink. "I saw Keith today."

"And?" prompted Natalie. She had seen Keith at school earlier too and wasn't sure what Brooke was trying to imply.

"I drove him home," said Brooke quickly. "I saw him walking in the snow and gave him a ride."

"Oh," said Natalie and before she could stop herself she blurted out, "How is he?"

"How do you think?" said Brooke, voice a little harsh. "He's miserable."

Frowning, Natalie stared at her cup. She hadn't really needed to ask Brooke how Keith was. She saw him everyday at school; she saw how sad he looked. How he looked like he _never _slept now. "Yeah, I know."

"When are you going to talk to him, Natalie? It's been two weeks. You said you needed time. You've had plenty of time. I understand he lied to you, but really I think you need to listen to him. He lost his parents. His _parents_. At risk of making you mad, I don't think you're being fair."

"I know," said Natalie, tears quickly making tracks down her cheeks. "To be honest, Brooke, after a few days I didn't need anymore time."

"Then why—"

"I feel ridiculous. I—every time I try and pick up the phone to call him or try and talk to him at school, I feel so embarrassed and so stupid."

"What do you mean?"

Setting her cup on her nightstand in fear her hand wouldn't be able to keep hold of it, she wiped at the tears off her cheeks and said, "Because I overreacted. I should've let him explain everything like he wanted, but I didn't. Instead, I was selfish and didn't even give him the time of day. No wonder he never told me. He probably never told me because he knew this is how I would react."

"Then why don't you call him up right now and let him talk?" asked Brooke, voice almost frantic.

Shaking her head frantically Natalie said, "I can't. I feel like it's too late. I've ruined everything."

"Too late?" breathed Brooke, strands from her ponytail coming loose and framing her face, making her look frazzled. "So what? You're never going to talk to him again? You're going to ruin your relationship with him because you think you took too long to think about everything?"

Natalie shrugged. "I don't know, Brooke. I don't know what to do. He doesn't deserve me. He deserves someone he can tell things to and to not feel like he needs to keep secrets from them."

"Maybe there's a reason why he didn't tell you. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with trusting you."

Natalie stared at Brooke for a few seconds. "Do you know something you're not telling me? Did he say something to you?"

Brooke took a sip of her chocolate. "Maybe he did, but you know what? You need to ask him yourself. All I know, Natalie, is there is a guy out there that thinks you don't love him. And I_ know_ you love him."

Natalie's breath caught in her throat. "He said that?" Even though she had never told Keith she loved him out loud, deep down, she knew now what she had felt—still felt—was love and it killed her to know Keith didn't think she loved him.

"Basically. Look, Natalie, I don't want you to think I'm picking sides, because I'm not. But I'm not picking sides, if that makes sense. I just really want you to work things out because you guys are both miserable and I would hate to watch you walk away from a guy that you love because you're scared and upset. Please, just talk to him soon. Okay? Before it's too late."

* * *

><p>The following Sunday Natalie's dad stopped by. "Kids, your mother and I have decided to get a divorce."<p>

At first, there was silence. Then, the reactions started. Cynthia started bawling, Zach started yelling (and cursing), and Natalie just sat there.

"I know this will be hard," continued Pete, "but I will always be there for you kids. Your mother, too." Caroline, who was sitting in the chair farthest away from Pete, nodded but didn't say anything. Natalie didn't care. "I'm going to look into getting a house close by and then we've decided we'll let you kids decide where you want to live."

"I want to live with dad," said Cynthia, through her tears.

For the first time in a while, Natalie felt bad for her mom because she was pretty sure Zach would want to live with their dad and so did she.

"If you want, you guys can live here for a few days and then come to my place. It's up to you, whatever makes you kids feel comfortable."

Her dad continued talking, but Natalie ignored him. All she could think about was how she needed to talk to Keith. She felt as if he was the only person she could confide in, but the problem? She had yet to gain the courage to talk to him.

* * *

><p>Natalie stood by a row of school buses that was lined up at the front entrance of the high school, eyes searching the crowds of students for Brooke. Today was a field trip for all junior chemistry classes and she and Brooke had planned to meet by the buses so they could sit next to each other. It was six forty-five in the morning, fifteen minutes after their designated meeting time.<p>

Luckily, she didn't have to wait much longer for Brooke to show up. The back of the bus was still free and they got their preferred seat. While they waited for the rest of their classmates to show up, Natalie opened her backpack and pulled out the book she was reading.

Before she started reading, though, she couldn't help it and searched the bus for Keith. He wasn't there. She knew there were two other buses transporting students to the museum, but it was almost habit now to check on him in the morning to make sure he was okay.

Keith actually did show up on her bus, but it was exactly two minutes before they were set to take off. He was the last one to board and quickly took the last empty seat available.

He was close enough to her she was able to watch him as he got settled. It didn't take much studying of him to notice how tired he looked. He kept yawning every few seconds and looked like he might pass out any second.

And surprisingly he did, fall asleep that is. It only took him ten minutes once the bus started for his head to fall against the window and his eyes to drift close.

Natalie forced herself to stop staring, and when she finally did Brooke was giving her a look. "What?" she hissed.

"Maybe this field trip is a good time to talk to him?" said Brooke.

Natalie's heart skipped a beat. "I-I don't know," he muttered. "Like I said, Brooke, I think I took too long. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe it's better if I don't talk to him. I don't deserve to—"

"Don't say it. Don't say that you think it's been too long and you're not going to fight for him. I don't care what you do, but you _will_ talk to you. I will not let you take the easy way out, because in a few months? You'll regret losing his friendship. And his love. Do you understand?" hissed Brooke, trying to keep her voice low.

Natalie was taken aback at Brooke for a few seconds. She wondered, again, what Keith had told her. "Yeah, okay. I promise, I'll talk to him soon."

But as much as Brooke wanted her to, she knew it wouldn't be today.

* * *

><p>An hour later, they were pulling into the parking lot of the museum. Mr. Miles, who was on Natalie's bus, started giving directions. "Okay, kids, as soon as you file off the bus I want you to get into groups. At least two people per group, but no more than four. Once you have your groups, come find me and I'll give you your packet. You'll have until noon to fill it out, then we'll have lunch, and after we'll finish the day watching an iMax movie on biochemical contamination."<p>

Almost everyone had his or her partners chosen before they got off the bus. A few students met up with friends that were on other buses, but almost all students had their packets and were discussing their plan for the answers in less than five minutes.

Brooke and Natalie were looking through their packet and deciding which area of the museum to start at when Mr. Miles walked over. "Hey, girls."

"Hi," they said in unison, giving him a concerned looked. Natalie hoped he wasn't going to try and separate them or something.

Mr. Miles gave Natalie a direct look when he said, "Keith doesn't have a partner. Can he join your group?"

Brooke answered quickly. "Sure!"

Mr. Miles gestured Keith over and Natalie noticed he seemed extremely hesitant as he walked towards them. "Here's your group, Keith," said Mr. Miles, giving them all a small smile before walking away.

Keith didn't say anything. He actually didn't say more than a few sentences the entire time. When he did talk, it was to Brooke and only to answer questions in the packet.

Natalie felt like the worst person on the planet. Here was this boy, a boy who had been through more than she could comprehend. A boy who had, she realized now, only wanted to move on. A boy who was willing to bare his soul to her, and she had denied him. Pushed him away.

A boy who deserved someone so much better than her.

* * *

><p>Keith sat with them at lunch, but Natalie was pretty sure it was only because they had been instructed to stay with their groups.<p>

While Natalie and Brooke opened their lunch, Keith only opened an energy drink. Natalie surprised herself when she asked, "Don't you have lunch?"

He seemed equally as shocked that she had spoken to him. "Uh, no," he mumbled. "I slept through my alarm this morning and didn't have time to make one."

Natalie noticed he wouldn't look her in the eye. She wasn't sure she wanted him to, because every time she did catch his gaze, all she saw was sadness.

Without giving it any thought, Brooke took half of her sandwich and handed it to Keith. "Here," she said. "It's turkey."

Keith snorted. "I'm not taking your food."

"Well," said Brooke slyly. "You either eat it or I throw it away."

Keith looked up and rolled his eyes. "Fine." He grabbed the sandwich from her and took a huge bite. Natalie watched him for a few seconds, before she grabbed her bag of cookies—white chocolate macadamia nut and Keith's favorite—and placed the bag in front of him.

"Thanks," he muttered, sounding shocked.

"No problem," said Natalie.

It was the only thing they said to each other the whole day.

* * *

><p>Natalie jolted awake to find Cynthia sitting on her bed. "What's going on?" mumbled Natalie, squinting up to look at her sister.<p>

"You should probably get ready. You really slept in."

"Oh shit!" exclaimed Natalie, jolting out of bed and glancing at the clock. She had ten minutes to get ready if she was going to get to school on time. And she had to get to school on time. She had a chemistry test.

"I can't believe you were sleeping," rambled on Cynthia. "You like never sleep. And why haven't you gone swimming lately? It's been like forever."

Frantically, Natalie started throwing on some clothes and said, "I fell asleep studying, and I haven't been swimming in a while because I don't feel like it."

Luckily, Cynthia seemed to accept her answer and continued to sit on Natalie's bed in silence to watch her sister frantically get ready. Once Natalie had gotten dressed and put her makeup on, she started hastily packing her backpack.

She was just about to leave her room when Cynthia screamed, "Wait! Your phone." As Natalie turned about to grab her cell phone from her Cynthia said, "Whoa, you have like a ton of missed calls."

"Really?" asked Natalie. "From who?"

Cynthia shrugged. "Just Keith." Natalie froze. A few weeks ago, Keith calling her wouldn't have meant as much as it did now, but the fact he had called her and ten times?

It worried her.

It worried her because he had done what she asked him and given her time to think. The only time they had talked in the past four weeks was for chemistry and at the field trip yesterday.

Taking her phone from Cynthia, she took a few seconds to look at the calls. He had called her at 2 a.m. ten times in a row. Her blood went cold. She wanted to call him, to see if he was okay, but she had to get to school for her chemistry test. Plus, they had chemistry together, so she could ask him what he called for then.

* * *

><p>Natalie couldn't concentrate on her test. Keith hadn't shown up to class and he was all she could think about. Why hadn't she just called him? It was obvious he was in some sort of trouble considering he had called her ten times.<p>

Ten minutes passed and when she realized she hadn't answered one question; she knew the best thing to do would to be finish her test so she could leave the classroom and call Keith.

She did exactly that, but twenty minutes later the door to the chemistry classroom opened and Natalie turned to see Keith walking through.

Natalie had never felt so relieved. As subtly as she could, she watched Mr. Miles stop Keith to hand him his test before he made his way over to his seat next to table.

She turned her attention back to her test, but she watched Keith from the corner of her eye. The first thing she noticed was how horrible he looked. He looked way more exhausted than had had yesterday, which Natalie hadn't thought possible. He had dark circles under his eyes that almost looked like bruises, his eyes were red, and he was so pale.

Natalie had to physically prevent herself from grabbing his hand and dragging him out to the hall so he could _tell her what was wrong_.

But she didn't because doing so would cause attention and she also didn't want to freak Keith out. She couldn't go from not talking to him to bombarding him with questions.

She had to wait to talk to him. Like he had been waiting to talk to her for four weeks.

It wasn't until Keith had grabbed a pencil out of his backpack (his movements were extremely slow) and wrote his name down (his handwriting was really shaky) did she turn her attention back to her test.

Thirty minutes later, Mr. Miles announced the test was over and he would come collect them. While Natalie waited for Mr. Miles to pick up her test, she glanced over to Keith's. He hadn't answered any of the questions; the only thing he had done was write his name, but it was so illegible Natalie could barley read it.

When Mr. Miles got to their lab table, he noticed Keith's blank test as well. "Keith, is there a reason you didn't answer any of the questions on your exam?" whispered Mr. Miles.

Keith shrugged. "I didn't study and I don't want to take it."

Mr. Miles looked shocked at Keith's answer; Natalie was pretty sure she had the same expression on her face. She knew Keith hadn't been on top of his homework for the past few weeks, but she was surprised he would not study for such an important test.

"Keith," started Mr. Miles, "this test is worth twenty percent of your grade."

"I don't care," said Keith, voice loud enough the whole class could hear. "Honestly, I have more important things on my mind than a stupid chemistry test."

Mr. Miles lowered his voice, looking concerned. Natalie bit her lip and tried to look like she wasn't listening to their every word. "Keith, please see me after class. We need—"

"No," Keith demanded. "I won't see you after class to talk about whatever you want to talk about. I have better things to do." Keith stood up so quickly his stool fell to the ground, causing the whole class to jump in surprise. Keith didn't bother to pick the stool up; instead, he grabbed his backpack and stormed out of the classroom, the door slamming behind him.

Mr. Miles turned toward Natalie. "Do you have any idea what's going on with him?" he asked. "I'm worried about him. He hasn't turned any homework in a few weeks and if he doesn't start up again I'm going to have to contact his aunt. He's—"

"No," admitted Natalie and she hated herself for it because this was all her fault. Keith was like this because she had to go and overreact and not talk to him in four weeks. "I have no idea."

Mr. Miles frowned. "Okay, if you find anything out, please let me know. His other teachers are worried about him, too."

"I will," promised Natalie. And she meant her promise. She didn't care what she had to do, but she was going to find out what was wrong with Keith.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, she didn't have the chance to find Keith and talk to him until the final bell, signaling the end of the school day, rang. She found him by his locker, and as she was walking toward him, noticed his right arm was resting next to his chest while he was trying to grab his books and pack them into his backpack with one hand.<p>

"Hey," she said softly as she stood next to him. He jumped at her voice and Natalie quickly apologized. "Sorry."

He gave her a wary glace before saying, "Uh hi."

"You okay?" she asked.

He snorted. "What do you think?"

"Yeah," said Natalie. "Stupid question."

"Look," started Keith, as he stopped packing his backpack to face her. "I figure you're prolly trying to talk to me because after what happened in chemistry someone asked you to talk to me. Well, here's the thing: I don't want to talk so you're off the hook."

"That's not true," said Natalie. He rolled his eyes and she said, "Okay, Mr. Miles is worried about you—actually, according to him all your teachers are—but I wanted to talk before chemistry but you were late."

Keith was silent.

"You called me ten times last night."

Keith shrugged his shoulders, and a pained looked crossed his face. "Yeah, I did. But it's okay. Don't worry about it."

"What happened?" asked Natalie. "Keith, you haven't called me in four weeks and then you call me at two in the morning, ten times in a row?"

He sighed. "And I regret that. I'm sorry, but I wasn't thinking properly."

"I'm sorry I didn't answer," said Natalie. " I was sleeping."

"Sleeping?" asked Keith. "You sleep now? I guess not being friends with me has definitely been an improvement."

His statement made want Natalie to cry. She hated the fact Keith thought they weren't friends anymore. Deep down, she knew she had given plenty of reason to think so, but that had never been her intention. All she had wanted was a few days to think about things then she took too long. "I don't sleep, Keith. I sleep less now than…when I did before. I fell asleep studying for the chemistry test. I promise you, had I been awake, I would've answered your call."

He didn't look convinced, but didn't say anything. Through sad eyes, Natalie watched Keith finish grabbing his books and slam his locker shut. "Well, guess I'll see you around," he said, turning around and away from her.

Natalie felt her stomach flip. "No, wait!" she said. She wasn't done talking to him. She was determined to find out what was wrong with him. Frantic, she grabbed his right arm to stop him and was shocked to see the reaction she got from him.

He let out a groan of pain, resting his forehead against the lockers to take in deep, calming breaths. "Oh my god," said Natalie. "Did I hurt you? Keith?"

It was a few seconds before he stood up. "I'm fine," he mumbled, but Natalie knew he was lying by the pain reflecting in his eyes.

"What's wrong with your arm?" Clues started forming in her mind: his illegible handwriting, the way he had been holding his arm earlier, the pain he had felt when she had gently grabbed it.

"Nothing," he said stubbornly.

Natalie thought about the calls and his arm and then it all made sense. "It was Jake, wasn't it? Jake hurt you?"

Keith licked his lips and said, "Look, Natalie, this really isn't your problem to deal with, okay? I've got it under control."

"You don't have it under control," she cried. "And you tried to call me last night 'cause you needed help and I wasn't there for you. Oh my god."

Keith's voice was surprisingly soft when he spoke, "I'm fine, okay? I promise."

Natalie didn't believe him. "Do you need to go to the hospital? I can take you right now."

"No," Keith said sternly. "No hospital. I'm pretty sure it's just a sprain or something. I'll ice it when I get to my aunt's."

The more she stared at his arm, the more she was sure he was lying. He wasn't even moving his arm. "Have you told Melissa?"

"She's in St. Louis until Friday."

"Then call her. You need to tell her."

"I don't need to do anything." He sounded angry.

Natalie took in a deep breath to calm herself. "Keith, if you don't tell her. I _will_."

Keith's eyes glared. "You _what_?"

"I'm sorry," she said, hoping house sounded confident. "But I'll give you tonight to call her, but tomorrow if I found out you haven't. I will. I'm sorry, but I'm not letting Jake get away with this. Not this time."

"You have no right to call her. You've made it incredibly clear you don't want me in your life, so don't get involved in mine, okay?" And before Natalie could say anything, he turned around and was lost amongst the other students.

* * *

><p>Natalie got to school early the next day, and was surprised to see Keith at his locker. When he caught sight of her, he tensed and then slammed his locker and ran the opposite direction.<p>

She knew what his actions meant. He hadn't told his aunt.

Sighing, Natalie knew what she had to do. She knew calling his aunt could ruin the possibility of renewing their friendship, but she couldn't let this go. All last night she had lied in bed, thinking and worrying about Keith. Things with Jake were only getting worse, and Keith's only hope, as strange as it sounded, was her. She had to be the person to tell Melissa what Jake was doing, because Keith never would.

Walking outside, she made sure she was alone before dialing Melissa's phone number. Melissa answered after the third ring. "Natalie?" she answered.

"Hi, Melissa."

Natalie could hear a bunch of people in the background and said, "I'm sorry, this is probably a bad time, but I really need to talk to you."

"It's okay, I'm just having breakfast with some work people, but I can talk." The background noise suddenly went silent and Natalie figured Melissa had walked somewhere secluded to talk. "What's wrong?"

"It's Keith."

"Is he okay?" asked Melissa frantically.

"No," admitted Natalie. "You need to come home."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave and review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!_


	21. Risk It All

**A/N: **_Hey, guys! Thank you so much for all the reviews; I love to know people are enjoying my story. Only two more chapters to go (I'm starting to get sad)._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-One: Risk It All<strong>

His elbow was swollen. It was at least two sizes bigger than normal and when he needed to bend it, he wanted to scream in pain; he tried not to move his arm too much, but it was hard without a brace. Leaning his head against the mirror in his bathroom, Keith took in shuddering a breath to try and calm down.

What was he going to do? He knew he should do something, but what? Calling his aunt was out of the question and Natalie hadn't called him back, even after calling her almost a dozen times last night. He had stopped calling her when he finally got the message: she didn't want to talk to him.

Sighing to himself, he knew the best thing to do was go to school, even if he didn't feel very well (he almost felt like he might have a fever, but he was pretty sure that was because of his injured arm). As much as he didn't want to go to school (the thought of putting an act on all day seemed exhausting) he definitely didn't want to stay holed up in his room all day with the possibility of Jake showing up at any time. And plus, he was pretty sure if he didn't show up to school, they'd call his aunt and then she'd have questions.

What he needed was a miracle. A miracle his elbow was only sprained and all he needed to do was ice it for a few nights and it would be miraculously better by Friday when his aunt got home.

He wasn't hoping too much for one, though; he didn't have a great track record for miracles.

Getting ready for school was a long process. It took him twice as long, and by the time he was about to leave he was already ten minutes late to class. Leaning his ear against his bedroom door, Keith listened for movement upstairs for a few seconds before he unlocked his door and let himself out. Once in the kitchen, he fed Bailey and let him outside before he walked to the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of Advil. He was pretty sure he'd needing the medicine throughout the day.

By the time he got to school, he was thirty minutes late to class. He ignored his classmates as he grabbed his chemistry test from Mr. Miles (he hadn't studied and silently cursed himself for even bothering to show up for his first class) and made his way to his seat next to Natalie.

Every few seconds, she glanced at him. Keith could tell she was trying not to be caught, but she wasn't very sneaky. Ignoring the worried looks she was giving him, he grabbed a pencil from his backpack and set to work on his exam. Hopefully, he could answer a few of the questions.

But when he went to write his name on the test, pain shot all the way from his elbow and up to his shoulder. Biting his lip to hide a groan of pain, he quietly sighed. He was screwed. His elbow had to be broken.

He couldn't even _write_.

* * *

><p>Jake was over when Keith got home. Not wanting to be near him, Keith parked his truck on the side of the road and crawled through his bedroom window instead. He had been hoping Jake wasn't over; he wanted to get some ice for his arm, but it seemed he would either have to be brave at some point and go upstairs or hope Jake would leave. Keith was pretty sure he was going to spend the night again. He wondered where Jake even lived; the guy was a mystery as far as Keith was concerned.<p>

The rest of the night, Keith listened for signs of Jake as he lay in bed and tried to watch TV. He was so scared Jake would come barging into his room again he couldn't get himself to sleep. And his body wanted to sleep; last night he hadn't been able to fall asleep after the incident with Jake and given the fact he hadn't sleep much the whole week he was due for at least a few hours of rest. But he was too scared. Around midnight Keith gained enough courage and crept upstairs. He was starving and needed to find something to eat.

Once in the kitchen, he froze. Jake was on the couch asleep. Quietly, Keith grabbed fixings for a sandwich and a few sodas and went downstairs. He'd have to do without the ice; getting some would definitely wake Jake up.

As he made himself a few sandwiches in his room, Keith thought of Natalie and wondered if she really would call Melissa when she found he didn't.

He remembered the scared look in her eyes, the determination in her voice and it worried him because she might actually call his aunt and tell her everything. And he wasn't sure he could handle the conversation with his aunt that was sure to follow.

* * *

><p>At school on Thursday, Keith ignored Natalie. When he saw her in the hallways he bolted in the opposite direction. In the classes they had together he made sure to seem busy and to not catch her gaze. Keith could tell she wanted to talk to him, but she didn't make that much of an effort to, which surprised him. Her actions made him wonder if maybe she was giving him more time. Not willing to find out, he skipped his last class of the day—gym—for two reasons. Firstly, he knew if Natalie did want to talk to him, gym was the best time and place for the opportunity. Yesterday, he had known she wanted to talk to him, just by the way she had been glancing at him throughout gym; he hadn't been that surprised she showed up at his locker after school let out. Secondly, he didn't want to explain to his teacher why he couldn't participate.<p>

Instead, he drove to The Pancake Hut and spent the afternoon (he wasn't in any hurry to go to his aunt's with Jake there) eating Mystery Pie. He tried to do some homework, but couldn't get himself to concentrate very well; his mind was on Natalie and what he was going to do about his situation once his aunt got home.

It was dark when Keith got to his aunt's. He let out a relived sigh when he realized Jake wasn't over and parked his truck in the garage, excited for the opportunity to get some ice for his arm.

But when he walked through the garage door, his breath caught in his throat and he froze. Sitting at the kitchen table was Natalie and his aunt.

Whipping his head in Natalie's direction he hissed, "You called her?"

"I'm sorry," cried Natalie, voice thick with tears. Her eyes were red and there were tear tracks on her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Keith, but I had to—"

"No, you didn't," he growled, anger filling him. "You had no right. You can't just ignore me for a month and then feel like you have the right to call my aunt and tell her—"

"Keith," interjected Melissa, "calm down. Please sit down. We have a lot to talk about."

"_No._" This was _not_ happening. His aunt was never suppose to find out about Jake, but now he was pretty sure Natalie had told her everything. "No," he said defiantly, frantically shaking his head. "I'm not talking,"

At this, he spun around and went to leave. The mantra _run run run_, was rushing through his mind and all he thought to do was escape. He only managed to touch the doorknob when his aunt spoke up. "Keith, sit down." Her voice was demanding and sharp. "I don't care if you don't want to talk. You _will._"

He spun around. "You can't make me talk! I never want to talk!" he screamed, so loudly his voice broke. "This is _bullshit_. You can't make me talk if I don't want to." He stopped talking to take in gulps of air. He felt like he was about to have a panic attack.

"I don't care," said his aunt, her tone soft. "Sweetie, for the past six months I haven't made you talk and unfortunately I think that was a mistake. You _will _sit down at this table and talk to me. Talk to me so I can fix things."

For a few seconds, Keith stood there, staring at the floor, considering his options. Sure, he could run away from all of this. But how long would that last? He'd have to come back at some point. And when he came back? He'd have to talk.

Keith dropped his backpack on the floor in defeat before making his way to the kitchen table. He sat down in a chair between Natalie and Melissa, making sure not to look either in the eye. He could hear Natalie sniffling and knew she was still crying.

"Natalie called me this morning and suggested I come home early," started Melissa. "She said Jake's been hurting you? Is this true?" His aunt's voice, which had started authoritative and controlled, turned thick with tears.

Keith shrugged. He really didn't want to tell the truth. Because it would break his aunt. _Break _her. How easy would it be to just say 'no'? But the problem was he wanted the stuff with Jake to end. Really, really wanted to stop being scared in a place that was suppose to be his home. "Maybe once or twice," he mumbled, trailing his fingers over the dark grain of the kitchen table. He chanced a quick look at his aunt's reaction to this. Her face crumpled and it looked like she was having a hard time preventing tears.

"When did this start?" his aunt asked, her voice high-pitched and almost verging on frantic.

"We never really got along," was Keith's answer. "He never really liked me."

"So," started Melissa slowly, "since the beginning?"

Taking a deep breath he admitted, "Pretty much."

Melissa took a few seconds to ask the next question. "Natalie said he hurt your arm. Is this true? What other stuff has he done?"

Squeezing his eyes shut, because he had hoped she wouldn't ask for this kind of detail, he sat up straighter in his chair and said, "Does it really mater?"

"Of course it matters!" cried his aunt. "It matters because my boyfriend has been hurting my nephew and I had no idea. That is _child abuse_." At this statement, she let out a small sob and covered her face with her hand. It took her a few seconds to calm herself, and when she did, she muttered, defeated, "I need to know everything that happened. _Everything_."

Taking his attention off the kitchen table, he glanced at Natalie—who looked extremely guilty—before looking at his aunt. "It wasn't that bad," he started, because he hated how his aunt looked—so broken. "I mean, at first he just pushed me around and yelled. He slapped me a few times, that was mostly it until a few days ago. Tuesday he dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night. He dragged me up to the top of the stairs and started yelling and…he pushed me around, too. I was half asleep, but I lost my balance and I fell down the stairs. That's how I hurt my arm; it slammed against the wall," he said, trying to sound nonchalant. The way his aunt was looking at him, he knew she was blaming herself. And if there was one thing Keith had learned in the past six months was what a horrible, horrible emotion blame was. It could destroy a person; it had him, he was pretty sure. Blame could eat away at a person until they were left with nothing but the blame itself. He didn't want that for his aunt. "I didn't think it was that bad—my arm—but it's not getting better. I can't move it now."

Tears were building in his aunt's eyes and she asked, sounding broken, "Why didn't you tell me? The first time he yelled at you, hurt you, why didn't you come to me?"

"I don't know," said Keith softly, but the truth was he_ did_ know. After a few seconds of silence, and before his aunt could speak up, he admitted the truth. "He threatened me," he muttered, but he knew his voice was loud enough for her to hear. "He said you would get rid of me—I have no where else to go— and that you blamed me for the accident, for killing Mom." There was a stinging behind his eyes and tightness in his throat. He wished he had some water. "I'm so sorry," he breathed. "I blame myself every day for the accident. Every day. I wish I could take it back but I can't. I'm so sorry I killed your sister. I—" And, suddenly, without warning, he started crying. He felt embarrassed, but he couldn't stop. He was crying so hard—big, fat tears rolling down his cheeks—he couldn't catch his breath. His shoulders racked with sobs and he hid his face in his hands.

He had never cried like this before. Not even that time in his old bedroom in Michigan. Nothing compared to this. He wondered when the tears would stop; they just kept on coming. He wanted them to stop, because Natalie was here and _what would she think of him now_?

He wasn't sure how long he had been crying—at least five minutes—before a hand was suddenly on his back and making soothing circles. For once, he didn't push the comfort away. "Oh no, sweetie," said Melissa, voice soft and calming, "it's okay. First off," she continued, "I will never, ever get rid of you. I love you so much. So much. Secondly, I have _never_ blamed you for the accident. Not once. It had never crossed my mind. And I don't want you blaming yourself either. Keith, no one blames you for what happened to your parents. It was a horrible accident, and all you are is a boy who lost his parents way too young. Do you understand? Please, Keith, look at me and tell me you understand. That you believe me."

Keith couldn't believe what he had heard. Even though he was still crying, he felt relieved. Slowly, he lifted his head from his hands and with tears streaming down his cheeks he answered, "I believe you." And he did. Relief left him almost instantly; he had no idea how much the thought of his aunt blaming him had affected him. The blame had been suffocating him. And now she had confessed she didn't blame him?

He could finally _breathe_.

* * *

><p>Sun was shining through his curtains when Keith woke. This fact woke him up almost instantly. Today was Friday—a school day—it was supposed to still be dark out, which meant he had slept in. Quickly sitting up in bed, Keith checked the time on his phone. It was ten-thirty in the morning. Scrambling out of bed, he went upstairs to see if Melissa was home; he thought she might be considering she left her work trip early.<p>

As soon as this thought crossed his mind, the events of last night came flooding back to him and he halted halfway up the stairs. Embarrassment flooded through him. Even after his aunt had told him she didn't blame him for the accident, he hadn't been able to stop crying. And he had _tried_. Even now, he wasn't entirely sure why he had broken down like that. He wondered if it had to do with the fact he had never really cried for the death of his parents. Maybe he had held his emotions in too long and when he finally let himself cry, he hadn't been able to stop. Even so, he was still embarrassed.

He had cried in front of his aunt. And _Natalie_.

Natalie. He remembered her leaving with a soft goodbye, red eyes, and a concerned expression. Not being able to stop crying—and too embarrassed anyway—he had let her leave without a goodbye. After she had left, Melissa made him take a sleeping pill and go to bed. And for the first time in a long, long time, he had fallen asleep quickly and slept the whole night. For once, he felt semi-rested. He figured it would take a week of sleep like he had last night to feel completely rested, and he wasn't sure when that would happen. Just because he had finally talked to his aunt didn't mean the nightmares would stop. But he was thankful he had least was able to sleep.

He was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of his aunt yelling. He found her in her office upstairs, hissing into her cell phone. She was obviously trying hard to be quiet, but wasn't doing a very good job. Standing at the entrance of the room, Keith listened as she spoke, voice increasing in volume with every sentence, "Don't you dare leave your house. You did this and you _will _pay for it. No, I said—" Her voice stopped suddenly and she flung her phone across the room; it hit the wall with a loud crash.

"What's going on?" wondered Keith.

Melissa spun around in her chair and Keith could see the tears in her eyes. "Honey, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have called him, but I had so much I needed to say to that bastard. And now. Now, he's running away."

"Were you talking to Jake?"

Melissa nodded. "I was so mad, so angry at what he had done to you; I called him on it. I shouldn't have. I don't know what I was thinking. I told him I was calling the cops on him, and he said it would be pointless because he's running. I screwed up, but I just wanted to understand _why_. Why did he do it? _How_ could he do it?"

Keith didn't know what to do. He hadn't even begun to think what Melissa was going to do after he had told her about Jake. He hadn't thought she would be this drastic and call the cops. He had expected her to break up with him. But not this. Getting the cops involved was serious.

He felt bad, because here was his aunt who in less than a day had lost the man she loved, had learned what a lie their relationship had been. Even though Jake had done something horrible, Keith knew it was impossible to stop loving someone just like _that_. Surprising himself, Keith found himself walking over to his aunt, bending down to her level, and pulling her into a one-armed hug (his right arm was pretty much useless). "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry Jake turned out to be a jerk."

She pulled him closer. "I had no idea he was hurting you, Keith. Please forgive me."

"I forgive you. But just so you know, I never blamed you, so please don't blame yourself."

Reluctantly, she pulled away to look Keith in the eyes. "Okay," she smiled. "But can you promise me from now on you'll talk to me?" Not being able to prevent it, Keith made a face and Melissa quickly added, "Okay, how about this: promise me you'll talk to me when it's something important."

"I'll try," he said. He didn't promise her, because he didn't want to make promises he couldn't keep.

Melissa's shoulder sagged in relief. "Thank you. You do realize no guy is more important to me than you, right?" A lopsided grin appeared on his face; he couldn't help it. Melissa smiled at the sight of Keith's and she said, "Let me see your arm. We'll probably have to go to hospital today to get it checked out."

Keith groaned at this, but still angled his right arm so she could inspect it. All it took was Keith to jerk his arm and groan in pain when she touched his elbow for the decision to be made. Melissa stood up and said, "Sorry, honey, but the hospital it is. We'll have breakfast and then go."

As Keith sat down at the kitchen table to watch his aunt cook French toast, he couldn't help but be incredibly relieved and… almost happy with the events that had transpired in the last twelve hours. He didn't have to worry about Jake coming over anymore. He wasn't completely there yet, but he could see himself in the future going to his aunt if he had problems and feeling comfortable doing so. Ever since he had moved into his aunt's house he hadn't felt comfortable. But now he did and thought maybe he wasn't far away from finally starting consider her house his home.

* * *

><p>"Well," started Dr. Owen "I have good news and bad news." He took two x-rays and hung them up on a board. Keith squinted his eyes at them.<p>

"He doesn't need surgery, does he?" worried Melissa, leaning forward to look at the photos. Keith glanced over to his aunt. She was sitting in the seat next the bed he was in, frantically biting on her well-manicured nails as she tried to read the x-rays.

"No, he escaped the dreaded surgery. However," he started, pointing his finger toward a spot on the x-ray. "His humerus is fractured. See here?" He tapped a spot on the x-ray. Keith thought he could see the fracture.

"What does that mean?" asked Melissa.

"He'll need a cast and a sling. We'll see him back here in three weeks."

"Okay," breathed Melissa. "That doesn't sound so bad."

"Great," said Dr. Owen, "I'll get one of my nurses to come in and put the cast on and explain care to you." He turned to Keith. "Feel better and don't fall down anymore stairs. Got that?"

"I'll try not to," mumbled Keith, making sure to glance away from Melissa. He was pretty sure Melissa wasn't happy he had lied to the doctor about how he had fallen down the stairs (was it really that important?). "Oh, wait," called Keith, just as Dr. Owen was about to leave the room. "Can I drive like this?" Ever since this morning, an idea had been forming in his mind and the answer to this question would decide if it was something he could take action on now or have to wait for.

Dr. Owen nodded. "Sure, the cast will keep you from moving the humerus, but you can still maneuver it enough for driving. Just be careful."

"Careful, definitely," nodded Keith and he actually smiled.

Twenty minutes later, Keith followed his aunt out of the hospital. Melissa halted as soon as they were out of the building. Turning to face Keith she said, squinting against the sun, "How about we go to lunch? I'm craving a burger."

Keith laughed and nodded in agreement, knowing lunch would be the perfect time to tell his aunt his idea.

* * *

><p>Keith waited until their food was delivered before he stated bluntly, "I want to go to Michigan."<p>

Melissa eyes got wide and she swallowed before she said, "Really? What brought this on?"

With his good arm, he shrugged. "Knowing I need to go see my parents house, one last time, has been on my mind a lot. Ever since you told me you hadn't sold it. I just—I think I need to start working on learning to move on from what happened to Mom and Dad. I've been forcing myself to not think about my parents, about the accident, and about how my life changed. And that needs to stop. I need to force myself to move on so I can start to live my life. I think going to my house one last time is a good first step to take." He took a sip of his Coke before taking a huge bite of his burger. "So why not now?"

"I think this is an excellent idea, Keith. We can go whenever we want. Tomorrow even."

Taking a deep breath, a little afraid of Melissa's reaction Keith stated, "I want to go alone."

"_Alone_?"

Nodding, Keith explained, "I've thought about it and I really think this is something I need to do alone. I could be completely wrong, but right now I feel like this is a step I have to do by myself."

For a few seconds, Melissa was silent and Keith was sure she was going to say no, but then surprising him she said, "I'll make you a deal."

"What kind of deal?" asked Keith, heart racing. He was surprised at how much he wanted to be able to go to Michigan. Or at least get his aunt's approval. He was pretty sure even if she told him he couldn't go, he would.

"We call Al and see what he says. If he says you can go, then I'm all for it."

"Really?" He couldn't help how happy his voice sounded.

"I think this will be good for you."

* * *

><p>It was just before ten Saturday morning and Keith was pulling on a hoodie as Melissa hovered near him. It took a while to get his injured arm through the sleeve, but when he finally pulled the sweater over his head, his aunt asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to come?" Raising his eyebrows, Keith stared at his aunt. "Okay, okay! I get it. You want to do this alone. But, Keith, I'm worried this trip will be more emotional than you anticipate. I know Al said it was okay but…"<p>

"I guess I'll find out."

Melissa didn't look convinced. "So you have all the information for the hotel I gave you? And the money?"

"Yup," answered Keith, nodding toward his backpack. He would have to spend the night in a hotel since his aunt had turned the electricity and water off in his parents' house.

"And the keys to your house?"

"Yes, Aunt Melissa. I'll be fine. And I promise you I'll you when I get to the hotel."

"I know, I know," she muttered. "You leaving just makes me so nervous, especially since you haven't driven much and your arm is injured. But," she continued, "I trust you."

Keith smiled. "Thanks," he said as he bent down and grabbed backpack, but when he glanced back to his aunt and saw the expression on her face he asked, trepidation in his voice, "What?"

"I just have one more thing and then you can go on your way."

"Okay…"

"It's about Natalie."

At this, Keith tensed. "What about Natalie?" She hadn't tried to contact him the past day after his breakdown and he didn't contact her, even though he wanted to. He didn't call her because he felt like she should be the one to initiate a conversation; she had asked for space and he'd give it to her until she was ready.

"I think you should call her. When you get back."

"No," he said, frantically shaking his head. "Absolutely not."

"Honey, she wants to be your friend. I think she's just lost and doesn't know how to start talking to you again. She cares about you. If she didn't, she wouldn't have called me. Spent two hours talking to me. Crying because she was so worried about you."

"I'm pretty sure she only talked to you because she felt obligated."

Melissa looked sad. "At least think about it?"

"I'll think about it," he answered. And he did. For two seconds. His answer was still the same as it had been a few minutes ago.

"Great, thank you, Keith. Maybe when you get back you can call her."

"Yeah, maybe."

* * *

><p>He couldn't go in.<p>

The sun was setting and he knew he didn't have much time left before darkness took over, but he just couldn't get himself to get out of his car and walk into his house. He had been parked in the driveway for the last hour, and hadn't even managed to get out of his truck. He didn't know what was wrong with him and he hated himself for it because he was suppose to be moving on. And if he couldn't even go into his old house, what did that say about how well he'd be able to move on?

He wouldn't be able to. He'd be stuck in this permanent sadness for the rest of his life. Hadn't he suffered enough? Didn't he deserve to move on and learn how to life without his parents? To have a life again?

When the sun finally disappeared, Keith admitted defeat and drove away, feeling disappointed and pathetic. He had hoped this trip would be a turning point for him, but all it had done for him so far was send him back to where he had been emotionally three days ago.

On his way to the hotel, Keith stopped at a fast food restaurant to get a burger and fries. He didn't feel particularity hungry, but knew he needed to eat.

When he got to his room—which was actually extremely nice—he called his aunt. She answered after the first ring. "Are you okay?"

_No_, he wanted to say, but he couldn't. He couldn't because he didn't want to disappoint her. "I'm fine," he said, voice dry.

"What happened?"

Keith sighed, because he knew she would be able to detect how upset he was just by hearing his voice. "I couldn't go in," he admitted. "I sat there for an hour and couldn't even get out of my car."

"Oh, sweetie," sighed Melissa. "I'm so sorry. Don't think about it too much, okay? Try and get a good night's sleep. I think you'll be surprised how much easier tomorrow will be."

"Easier?" choked Keith. "If I couldn't go in today, what makes you think tomorrow will be any better?"

"Just trust me on this, okay?"

"Okay," said Keith hesitantly. He hoped his aunt was right, but he was pretty sure a miracle would have to happen for him to have the courage to walk inside his parents' house.

As he turned on the television and ate his food, he wished his aunt had come with him. Because he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to do this alone.

* * *

><p>"Hello?" answered Keith, voice dry and thick with sleep. He had been woken up abruptly by the hotel phone in is his room; he didn't think it was possible for a phone to ring that loud. At first he had ignored the ringing, thinking someone had the wrong number, but when it rang again he had rolled over and answered the phone, half asleep.<p>

"Mr. Zetterstrom?" He made a grunt in acknowledgement. "This is Gabe at the front desk. I have a visitor here for you."

This statement woke Keith up more. "What?" he asked. "Are you sure you have the right room?" As soon as he asked this, he knew he had been a stupid question. Of course he knew; Gabe had used his last name.

"Keith Zetterstrom, correct?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "Uh, who is it?" Sitting up in bed, he glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Twelve forty-five in the morning.

"She didn't give me her name. Would you please come down to see her?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Keith. "I'll be right down."

When he walked into the hotel lobby the person standing in the middle of the room wasn't his aunt like he expected but Natalie. Keith halted his footsteps and stared at her. Her hair was wild from the wind outside and her cheeks were red from the cold; she looked a little frazzled but was so _beautiful_.

Natalie caught sight of Keith and started walking toward him. They met each other halfway across the room. "What are you doing here?" he asked when they were only standing only a few feet from each other.

Placing the green suitcase she had been holding on the ground she said simply and confidently, "I needed to see you."

"At midnight in another state? You couldn't wait until Monday at school?"

"No," said Natalie quickly. "I-I just really needed to see you."

"Did my aunt tell you I was here?"

Natalie nodded. "Yeah, she did. After I begged her."

Scratching the back of his neck nervously Keith said, "Okay."

For a few seconds after there was silence between them, but then Natalie started, in a chocked, pained voice, "Keith, seeing you cry like that Thursday night broke my heart. I—" She stopped when Keith lifted his good arm to his face, trying to shield himself. Why did she have to bring up one of the weakest moments of his life; he was hoping she would never talk about that night. Ever. "No, no," she said soothingly, gently wrapping her hand around his wrist and forcing his hand down. "Don't be embarrassed—"

"A little late for that," he muttered, cheeks burning and red.

"You were not weak," emphasized Natalie. Keith wondered how she knew what he thought of himself. She had always been able to do that though, to some extent, read him. Instances when he had thought he was shielding his emotions, she had always been able to see right though him. "Crying doesn't make a person weak. All I saw that night, Keith, was a boy who was in so much pain. And part of that pain was because of me and that—that was a horrible realization."

"You weren't the reason I cried," muttered Keith, but Natalie shook her head not believing him.

"But I was. If only I wouldn't have treated you so horribly for the past month. When you told me about your parents, when you finally told me about the worse day of your life, I should've let you talk and explain yourself. Instead, I pushed you away when you needed someone. I wasn't there for you and I can't forgive myself for that."

"But I lied to you."

"Yes," she said, and Keith was glad she didn't deny this. "You did, but I'm sure you had a good reason, right? And I should've asked you why. I should've let you talk about it, but I didn't. Instead, I let myself come up with crazy scenarios and I wasn't fair to you. And I'm so sorry," she brought her hand up to her mouth, letting out a small sob.

Lower lip trembling Keith said, "I didn't tell you because at first I just couldn't. I couldn't admit it. Then when we became friends I wanted to tell you but I thought you'd blame me and stop being my friend. And what I needed the most was a friend, so I didn't risk it. I already blamed myself and the thought of more people blaming me for it was something I couldn't handle."

Natalie closed the distance between them. Then, she stood on her tiptoes and placed both her hands on the side of his face. "I don't blame you. Please, please promise me you will stop blaming yourself."

"I don't know if I can," he admitted.

"I'll help you," replied Natalie desperately. "If you'll let me."

"What does that mean?" asked Keith.

Removing her hands from his face, Natalie said, eyes shining with want and also fear. "What I'm trying to say, Keith, is if you can forgive me for what I've done, I want to be with you. I need you in my life. I have never felt this way for someone and I don't want to push it away."

"I do forgive you," said Keith. "And I want to be with you. But I'm—I have too many issues, Natalie, you don't want to be with me." He wanted to be with her, so much, but he felt like he needed to be honest with her this time. When they had first agreed to be together, he should have told her everything then. This time, he wasn't going to hold back; he was going to tell her what to expect. "I can't sleep, I have nightmares almost every night, some days I'm so depressed I don't even want to get out of bed. I'm not over my parents death, and I'm not sure when I will be. I—"

"If you don't want to get out of bed, then I'll stay in bed with you. I want to be with you through everything. I want to be there when you're sad, when you're happy, when you just _need_ someone. I want to be that girl."

"Really?" breathed Keith, almost shocked at what he was hearing. For once, he had been completely honest with her and she wasn't walking away.

"Really. Keith," she added, biting her lower lip. "I want to be with you. I love you and—"

"I love you, too," he said, not letting her finish. She didn't need to say anything else; she had said all he needed to hear.

As Keith leaned down and kissed Natalie—right in the middle of the hotel lobby—he made a decision.

Loving someone _was _risky. But what was life without love? What was life if he didn't let himself love someone? It wasn't really _living_. So he was going to risk heartbreak—push away all his concerns and fears—and let himself love her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you guys liked the chapter. I had fun writing this one! Please review and let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading!_


	22. Never Let Go

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Four: Never Let Go <strong>

"Is he here yet?" School had been let out twenty minutes ago and Natalie had driven straight over to Melissa's house after the final bell. Luckily, Melissa had been able to get an early flight and had been home for almost an hour; she had texted Natalie just before her last class of the day to ask if she could come over right after school. Natalie thought this was a horrible idea; she definitely didn't need to be over when Keith showed up. He was _not_ going to be happy when he saw her. Natalie wondered if Melissa had planned it this way on purpose. Maybe she was worried Keith wouldn't tell her the truth unless she was there and could call him out if he lied.

"No," said Melissa, "but that's okay. We can talk until he gets home."

Feeling relieved, Natalie stepped inside, taking her coat off after she closed the door behind her. "Um, just so you know," started Natalie, a little hesitant, "Keith wasn't in his last class today."

Melissa looked worried. "What class is that?"

"Gym. His truck wasn't in the parking lot either. I'm not sure where he went, but he might be gone a while."

"That's okay," sighed Melissa. "I'm sure we have a lot to talk about. If he's not here by the time we're done, I'll call him and tell him to come home."

Natalie wanted to tell Melissa calling Keith would be a mistake, because then he might_ not_ come home, but she decided she'd wait and see if it came to that.

Walking into the kitchen, Melissa asked, "Would you like some tea?"

Natalie nodded, hoping the few minutes it took Melissa to make the tea would allow her to come up with how to tell Melissa everything. Ever since she had made the call to Melissa she had tried to figure out the best way to approach the topic, but no way felt right. How was she going to tell Melissa her boyfriend was abusive? There wasn't a good way. She figured the best was to just say it; there was no point sugar coating it.

Two minutes later Melissa was handing Natalie a cup of steaming black tea and indicating to Natalie to sit down; she took the chair across the table from Melissa. "So," started Melissa, "I'll be honest. I think my heart's been racing nonstop since you called me this morning."

Natalie gave Melissa what she hoped was a reassuring smile and then became interested in her cup of tea. "I-I've been trying to come up with the best way to tell you this," admitted Natalie. "I-I really have no idea how to tell you what I need to tell you."

"I know it's got to be bad," said Melissa. "Or you wouldn't have suggested I leave my trip early. I understand, Natalie, so you don't need to worry. You can just tell me."

Before she thought too much on it, Natalie blurted out, "Jake's been hurting Keith."

Natalie expected a strong reaction from Melissa, but she didn't expect the multiple emotions to appear in quick succession on Melissa face. She went from shocked, to angry, to sad, to confused in a matter of seconds. "What?" Melissa cried. "My boyfriend Jake?"

Natalie nodded. "Yeah, him."

"What makes you think this? Are you sure? Is Keith hurt?"

Biting her lip Natalie said, "His arm's hurt. Keith showed up to school yesterday late and he wasn't acting like himself—he mouthed off to our teacher and didn't even take the test. I went to talk to him after school to see what was wrong and when he tried to walk away from me I grabbed his arm. That's when I found out his arm was injured. I told him to tell you; I wanted to give him the time to tell you. I wanted to call you right away, but I thought Keith deserved the chance to call you."

"And he never did," whispered Melissa. Suddenly she stood up. "Can you give me a minute? I need to process this. I'm sorry," and without waiting for Natalie to reply she quickly escaped into the dining room. Returning less than five minutes later, looking no better than she had a few minutes ago, Melissa asked, in a small, almost defeated voice, "And how do you know it was Jake that hurt him?"

"Because he's hurt Keith before," admitted Natalie. "I was there."

"Tell me," pleaded Melissa. "Please tell me everything you know."

"Are you sure you want to know everything?" asked Natalie. "It's a long story. I probably shouldn't be here when Keith shows up."

"I don't want to know, but I _need_ to know. I need to know everything so I don't come up with even more horrible scenarios. And, Natalie, I want you to be here when Keith shows up. I-I know you haven't talked to him lately, but I think it's best if you're here when I talk with him. Unless being here will make you uncomfortable; I don't want to force you to stay."

"No," said Natalie quickly. "You won't be forcing me. And I'll tell you everything."

* * *

><p>The sun had set by the time Natalie left Keith's. The whole way home, she couldn't stop thinking of him. About how, when she had left, he was still crying. It <em>broke<em> her heart. Seeing Keith suffer was horrible and she would do anything _anything_ to make his pain go away. But she didn't know how, not when she was pretty sure she was part of his pain too. If she hadn't ignored him for the past month, would she have been able to prevent some of his pain? She couldn't help but wonder.

It wasn't until she parked her car in the driveway did the tears finally come. And to think she hadn't thought she was going to cry, but the sight of Keith's tear-streaked face was haunting her.

A knock sounded on her car window, making her jump and a scream caught in her throat at the sight of a shadow of a person standing by her car. Squinting, she thought the form was Keith and her pulse sped up, but then the form moved a little to the left and the light coming from porch illuminated his face.

Zach.

He was wearing a strange expression, one she didn't see very often. It was one of worry and concern.

Opening the car door, he kneeled to her level and said in a rush, "What's going on? Why are you crying?" The concern in her brother's voice only made more tears fall; she knew she must look like a mess—mascara running down her face, red eyes, flushed cheeks.

"I-I screwed up," she muttered, not bothering to wipe the tears off her cheeks. They were streaming down her cheeks that quickly.

Biting his lip, as if he wasn't entirely sure what to do with her, Zach gently unbuckled her seatbelt, grabbed her arm, and coaxed her out of the car. "You're coming inside. We can talk there."

He guided her into the house and to the living room where he had her sit down on the couch. He sat down right next to her. "What's going on?" he said. "Do I need to get mom?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "No, I'm okay."

"Does this have to do with Keith?"

Letting out a tiny laugh Natalie said, "How'd you know?"

Zach shrugged, looking quit smug. "Good guess. What happened?"

"I made a horrible mistake. I-I don't even know where to start."

"Does this have to do with the fight you got into?"

Natalie narrowed her eyes at him. "How'd you know about that?"

Raising his eyebrows Zach said, "I don't live in a box, you know."

Apparently, she didn't give her brother enough credit; he was more observant than she thought. "I found out he lied to me about his parents." Knowing Zach would question her she decided to tell him the whole story. "When we first met he told me his parents were in Europe, but he lied. I found out a month ago they actually died in a car accident back in October. That's the reason he moved here in the first place."

Eyes wide Zach said, "Holy shit. His parents _died_? That sucks."

"I know," said Natalie, eyes welling up again, "and instead of comforting and talking to him after I found out, I got mad. I told him not to talk to me, that I needed time. He listened to me, and the one time he really needed me, I wasn't there." Taking a deep breath she admitted, "Then I found out something that was going on with him and it wasn't something I could keep to myself. It was serious. I ended telling Melissa and…I was just over there. Zach, I have never seen anyone cry like he was. It broke my heart. I can't keep thinking about how, if I hadn't ignored him for a month, been mad at him, told him not to talk to me, none of this would have happened. That he wouldn't be in this much pain."

"I'm so sorry, Nats," spoke Zach. "But listen to me. The worse thing you can do is sit here and blame yourself for something that happened in the past. You need to accept your mistakes and figure out how you're going to fix your relationship with Keith now. Focus on the future, not the past."

And it all clicked. Those few sentences made sense. She needed to stop worrying about what had happened, because she couldn't change that. Instead, she needed to figure out what she was going to do now to fix her and Keith's relationship. Natalie had never been more grateful for her brother in that moment. What he had said just made sense. Wrapping her arms around her brother in a hug—because he needed to know how much he had helped her—she clung to him tightly and said, "Thank you for that. Thank you so much."

* * *

><p>Natalie had been pacing in front of Melissa's front door for the past ten minutes. Ever since her talk with Zach, all she wanted—no, needed—was to talk to Keith and fix things. But she knew he needed time to deal with what had happened Thursday night, so she gave him time, even though all she could do was think of him. It was almost like there was a physical force demanding her to go to Keith.<p>

But she waited.

He hadn't been at school on Friday. As much as it devastated Natalie, it didn't surprise her. She spent Saturday trying to do homework and not getting very far. Most of the time she found herself thinking of Keith. She even went to the gym to swim—something she hadn't done in a month—hoping to clear her mind of Keith.

It didn't work.

By five o'clock Saturday night, Natalie couldn't stand it anymore and drove to Melissa's where she had been for the past ten minutes, pacing in front of the door. All she had thought of the past two days was talking to Keith, but now, standing in front of his door, she didn't know what she was going to say to him. What was she suppose to say? She didn't want to screw it up. Every word would count.

Finally gaining enough courage, she knocked on the door three times and then waited. Melissa answered the door a few seconds later. "Hey, Natalie." She looked happy to see her, which Natalie thought was a good sign.

"H-Hi," she said, voice breaking in nervousness. "Um, could I talk to Keith please?"

Melissa's face fell. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but he's not here."

"Oh," she frowned. Of all the scenarios she had thought of in the ten nervous minutes she had paced in front of the door she hadn't thought of what she would do if _Keith wasn't home_. "Do you know when he'll be back? I really need to talk to him."

"Not until late tomorrow night."

"_What_?" gasped Natalie. "Where is he?" For some reason, her hands started shaking because she _needed_ to talk to him. More than anything.

"He drove to Michigan."

"By himself?"

Melissa nodded. "Yeah, he went there to see his parents' house. I have to sell it soon. He wanted to see it one last time. I wanted to go with him, but he said he needed to go alone."

"Oh," replied Natalie, staring at her feet and blinking rapidly. Then suddenly her head shot up and she asked, "Can you tell me where he's staying in Michigan?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea," frowned Melissa. "It's a six hour drive."

"Please," begged Natalie. "I really need to talk to him. I don't care if I have to drive all night. I can't sit at home any longer wondering and worrying about him. I need to see him. Now."

Natalie waited patiently as Melissa stood there and contemplated her words. Finally Melissa spoke up, voice soft, "He really wanted to do this alone—" Natalie felt her heart sink in disappointment, "but I know him and I know he isn't prepared for how emotional this trip is going to be. I think you being there will help him."

"Really?"

Melissa returned Natalie's smile. "Yeah. I'll tell you where he is, but promise me if he doesn't want you there, if he still wants to be there on his own, you'll give him space."

"Absolutely," smiled Natalie. "Of course."

Indicating for Natalie to follow her inside, Melissa went to the kitchen and wrote an address down on a scrap piece of paper. "This is the hotel he's staying in."

Natalie took the paper from Melissa and looked down at it, a small smile forming on her face. She was almost to Keith. She had convinced Melissa to tell her where Keith was. Now her only battle was to convince her mom to let her go.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Natalie," smiled Caroline when she caught sight of her daughter hovering in the entryway to her bedroom. "Did you need something?"<p>

Clearing her throat, Natalie answered, "Yeah, do you have a minute?"

A surprised look graced Caroline's face, and guilt pierced Natalie. It was then Natalie realized how much she had pushed her mom away the past year. They had never been close, but now they seemed like acquaintances. Had her mom really deserved how Natalie had treated her the past year? "For you always," replied Caroline, eyes smiling. She stopped folding clothes and sat on the bed, patting the empty space next to her. Natalie took that as a sign and walked into the room, sitting on the bed next to her mom. "What's up?"

"I need to ask you something. It's something I really need to do, but I want to get your permission. But before you say no, can you hear me out first?"

Caroline looked extremely concerned. "Sure, what is it?"

"I need to drive to Michigan. Tonight." Slowly, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding as she studied her mom's expression. Luckily, she didn't look angry…yet, only concerned and confused.

"What's in Michigan?"

"Keith. He's my friend and I really need to talk to him."

"Is he your boyfriend?" wondered Caroline.

"Kind of. He was for a while. We got in a fight a few weeks ago and haven't really talked since. He went to Michigan today—to do something important—and I think he really needs me. _I _really need him. Seeing him, talking to him, it's all I can think about."

"I thought you were dating Raphael?"

"No," said Natalie. "We broke up a month ago."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"It's okay. He wasn't good for me. Not like Keith is."

Taking a deep breath Caroline said, "I'm not sure I like the idea of you driving all the way to Michigan tonight. You haven't driven a long distance like that before."

"I can do it. Please let me, Mom. This is really, really important to me. For the longest time I didn't believe in love. I thought it was just a fantastical thing people wanted to believe in. And because of that, I stayed with a guy who I didn't love and who, to be honest, wasn't good for me. But then I met Keith and everything changed. I fell in love with him—something I thought was impossible. And now? Now I've ruined everything and I need to fix it. I can't let him get away from me. I've waited too long for him."

"As a mother I want to tell you not to go, but I can't do it. Believe it or not, I know what it's like to be in love and if I had been in your position in high school I would've wanted my mom to let me go. So I'm going to let you go. Love is a rare thing in this world, and I believe it's worth doing crazy things—like driving to Michigan."

Natalie couldn't believe it. She had been so sure her mom was going to say no, and she would have to consider the possibility of sneaking out and going against her wishes. But her mom had surprised her and was letting her go. She had debated telling her mom about Keith, about expressing her emotions, and just driving to Keith without telling her. She was glad she had made this decision; for once she didn't regret talking with her mom.

Leaning over, she gave her mom a one-sided hug. "Thank you, Mom. Thank you so much." She went to stand up, but Caroline stopped her.

"Can we talk for a few more minute?"

"Uh, sure," said Natalie, giving her mom a questioning look. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I just wanted to ask you a question. Do you think you'll ever forgive me for what I did to our family? I want to know because if you don't think you can, I don't want to sit around and hope. Instead, I'll try to learn to accept it and try and move on."

"Why did you do it?" asked Natalie. "Can you tell me why you did it?"

"I don't have a great reason, Natalie. I was lonely. Your father was never around when I needed him and then I meet someone else and he got me. He listened to me. And it just happened so quickly. I should've stopped it, but this man, he filled a void in my heart, one your father hadn't filled in a long time."

Natalie's breath caught in her throat. As much as he wanted to still be mad at her mom, to tell her she was never going to forgive her, she couldn't. She couldn't because she had expressed closely what she had felt when dealing with her feelings between Raff and Keith. "I understand," said Natalie, surprising both of them. "I understand because, Mom, I kind of went through the same thing. With Raff and Keith. Sometimes love causes you to do crazy things, even though you know it's not right. Sometimes your heart is in control."

"Thank you, honey. Thank you for that. What I did, though, was far worse than what you did. I had made a promise to your father; a commitment and I didn't follow through. I'm not sure I will ever forgive myself for what I have done, but I can't stand my own daughter mad at me the rest of her life. I don't want us to drift apart. We aren't close to begin with and I'm so worried when I have done has ruined the possibility of building a relationship."

At this, Natalie thought of Keith. How he had lost his parents just like _that_ and how he hadn't even gotten the chance to say goodbye. People made mistakes; her mom had made a mistake. Her dad, too. For not being the support her mom needed. But after learning what Keith had been through Natalie realized how unexpectedly life could end. It could end at _any_ moment. She didn't want to spend the rest of her life mad at her mom and then end up regretting it. Keith would never have the chance to see his parents again; it seemed cruel to push her parents away. Mistakes happened, but those were in the past. Now, it was time to build toward the future.

"It hasn't," said Natalie. "I promise."

* * *

><p>It was midnight by the time Natalie parked at the hotel Keith was staying out. Taking a deep breath to prepare herself, Natalie got out of the car. The cold hair burned her cheeks and the wind tangled her hair as she walked across the parking lot and into the warm building. The lobby was empty as she walked across the tiled floors and to the reception table.<p>

"How can I help you?" a young man, probably no more than eighteen, asked.

"Someone I know is staying here. I know it's late, but could you please call his room and have him come down here?"

"Sure, what's his name?"

"Keith," she said, feeling more nervous as the minutes ticked by. "Zetterstrom."

While he made the call, she stepped away and stationed herself in the middle of the lobby. It took a few minutes, but suddenly she caught sight of Keith standing across the lobby, staring at her. When their eyes met, she took the first step forward. As they neared each other, Natalie studied him. His hair was messy, indicating he had been sleeping, and he had pillow wrinkles on his cheeks. He looked half asleep, but he was so, so _handsome_.

She smiled as they stopped a few feet in front of each other. She was here with him and she finally felt at peace.

* * *

><p>Natalie glared at the coffee pot and then to the mess on the floor.<p>

In a small fit of aggravation she had somehow broken the coffee pot in the hotel room. How, she wasn't entirely sure. Although, that probably had to do with the fact she had no idea how to use the machine. It was a really nice machine, too.

Glancing over to Keith, she was surprised to find him still fast asleep given how much noise she had been making. With one last glare at the coffee pot, she tip-toped over to the bed. She felt bad waking him up since it was rare he could sleep more than a few hours at a time, but she needed coffee and was hungry.

Crawling under the covers and laying right next to him, Natalie stared at him. She couldn't help but study the way his eyelashes rested against his cheeks, his messy hair, and how it just make him more attractive. His head was turned in her direction and Natalie could feel his warm breath against her shoulder; it gave her goose bumps.

Wanting to wake him up slowly, Natalie began trailing her fingertips softly across his bare shoulder. It didn't take long for his eyes to begin to move behind his eyelids and finally for his eyes to open.

At first, he looked shocked that Natalie was actually there, but then a huge smile appeared on his face. "Hi," he said, voice thick was sleep. Adorable.

"Morning," smiled Natalie.

He blinked a few times as if to wake himself up more then said, "You look guilty."

Feeling a blush rise on her cheeks, Natalie mumbled, "I kind of, possibly may have, broken the coffee maker."

At this, Keith started laughing. Natalie hadn't been sure what his reaction was going to be, but breaking out in laughter hadn't been one of them. She had never seen Keith laugh this hard—he was laughing so hard she was worried he might not be able to catch his breath.

"I'm glad you find it so funny," said Natalie, trying to sound offended. But it was hard because Keith looked so cute. And so happy. "That was an expensive coffee maker, you know."

Biting back a laugh Keith said, "You're going to be stuck here, in Michigan, working at this hotel to pay it off. You'll probably have to work in the kitchen."

Natalie pouted. "Well, maybe my boyfriend should pay for it. Or at least sacrifice himself and work kitchen duties."

It wasn't until after she said it did she realize what she had implied. That Keith was her boyfriend. Sure, that's what they had classified each other when they dated for a week a month ago. But she wasn't sure what they were now. She had really hurt Keith and wouldn't blame him if he wanted to take things more slowly this time.

"Unfortunately, you're on your own. Your boyfriend has a fractured arm and wouldn't be very productive cleaning dishes."

"Is that what we are?" blurted Natalie. "Boyfriend girlfriend?" It sounded a bit childish to her, asking. But she didn't want to have any questions in their relationship, no matter how silly they were.

"Do you not want to be my girlfriend?" asked Keith. "Because if you want, I can call you my sugar mama instead, if you prefer that."

Hitting his shoulder, Natalie giggled, "Shut up!"

Face turning serious, Keith answered, "And, yes, Natalie, you're mine now."

"Does that mean I can make you take me out to breakfast? Since you're my boyfriend?"

"Yes," replied Keith, "I do believe that is one of your privileges."

"One of them?" inquired Natalie. "So there's more?"

"Oh, yeah," said Keith. "Loads more."

"Well, what are they?" she asked, playful smile gracing her face.

Using his good hand, he hoisted himself up so he was hovering over her. He leaned forward until their lips were barley touching; she could feel his breath touch her lips when he spoke. "Why don't I show you one?"

* * *

><p>Keith told Natalie he was going to take her to a small breakfast diner. As Keith drove, he told her about how the dinner had been his parents favorite breakfast place. It was only a few blocks away from his old house and in the summer months his mom had always made them walk.<p>

Natalie followed Keith to a table in the back of the restaurant; the table was in a corner next to a tall, fake tree. Natalie figured this had been the table Keith and his parents had always sat at. As Keith read his menu, Natalie studied the place. It was small like The Pancake Hut, but the style was very different. It had an almost retro look and feel to it. Natalie wouldn't have been surprised if the employees had used rollerblades to get around and worn bright-colored clothing.

"Is this place okay?" asked Keith.

"What?"

"To eat? Is this place okay?" he asked again, narrowing his eyes at Natalie's unopened menu. "Because we can go somewhere else."

"Oh, no," she said. "This place is perfect. Sorry, I was just looking around. It looks good." She smiled at him before glancing at her menu. "They have cinnamon roll pancakes?"

Keith laughed, pleased. "And they are spectacular."

A waitress stopped by then, preventing Natalie from asking Keith what he was going to get. They both ordered coffee and when the waitress was gone Natalie asked, "What are you getting?"

He pointed to his menu and Natalie leaned across the table to read the description. She was close enough to Keith she could smell him. He smelled familiar, like home. "Can you eat all that?" she asked, after reading what he was getting: biscuits and gravy, two eggs, hash browns, and a side of pancakes.

"Never ask a guy that. If you doubt we can do something, we have to do it. Now I'll have to eat it all, even if I feel like I'm going to burst."

"Guys are so weird," she mumbled.

They had just been served their coffee and ordered their food when Keith looked over Natalie's shoulder and his eyes get wide. "What is it?" she asked, quickly turning around in her chair. She didn't see anything unusual, just some people waiting for a table and turned back around to wait for Keith's answer.

Keith didn't manage to say anything before Natalie heard a voice from behind her exclaim, "Zetterstrom? _Zetterstrom_?"

Keith looked like he didn't know what to do, but still stood up when a tall guy with sandy blonde hair appeared at their table. "No way," said the guy, pulling Keith into a hug. Keith tensed at first, but Natalie saw he loosened up after a few seconds. "Dude, you have no idea how worried I've been." He slapped Keith's back before pulling away.

"Hey, Bret," said Keith.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you. I haven't seen you since…" he trailed off. Then added, "I tried to call you, but your phone didn't work anymore. And your Facebook…you disappeared from there, too."

"Yeah, sorry about that," muttered Keith. "I just needed some time."

"Are you doing okay?" he asked.

"I'm doing…better, yeah."

Bret grinned and it made Natalie smile because he seemed so happy to know Keith was doing well. "Good," and then he turned to Natalie, giving Keith a look.

"This is Natalie," said Keith, turning and smiling at her. She stood up. "My girlfriend."

Natalie shook hands with Bret and didn't miss the approving nod he gave Keith; it made her blush. "Nice to meet you," she said. Then asked, "So you know each other from school?"

"Yup," answered Bret. "Keith's my best friend."

Keith looked a bit ashamed. "I haven't been a very good friend. I'm really sorry."

"I pretty sure you had other things on your mind. I can forgive you." Keith smiled and Bret was about to say something else when their food was brought over.

"You wanna eat with us?" asked Keith.

"As long as it's okay with your girlfriend," replied Bret.

"Of course it is," smiled Natalie. "As long as you promise to tell me some of your high school stories."

"Now that," smiled Bret as he pulled an extra chair from table and sat down, "I can do." Before Bret began a story, he ordered food (the same meal as Keith) and coffee. "So, what do you want to hear?"

Natalie shrugged, "Anything." As Bret contemplated this, she took a bite of her pancakes.

They were so good; she couldn't help but moan aloud, causing a blush to appear on her cheeks. "Told you they were good," said Keith, winking.

"Oh my god," she said through a mouthful. They were so could she couldn't even feel that embarrassed. "I could eat these all day."

Bret and Keith both chuckled. "Okay, I got one," said Bret. "Let me tell you about the time Keith and I got banned from Target..."

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you want me to go in with you?" asked Natalie, frown on her face. They were in Keith's truck and she was angled toward him, trying to gaze his emotions, but he was extremely hard to read right now. "I know you wanted to do this alone. I'm fine staying in the car."<p>

"No, I want you to come in with me," said Keith. "To be perfectly honest, if you don't come in with me I don't think I'll be able to go in. Yesterday, I sat in my truck for hours trying to gain the courage to just get out of my truck. I never made it." His lip turned into a slight grin. "You, Miss Anderson, are my courage. You're coming with me."

And with that, he winked at her and hopped out of the truck. Natalie met him on the front porch. "So this is where you lived." From the outside, Natalie could tell it was a small house, probably half the size of hers.

"Yup," said Keith. "Up until last October this was the only home I ever knew."

"You're a Michigan native, huh?"

"Indeed I am."

"Do you," started Natalie slowly, not wanting to upset Keith. "Do you miss it here?"

"Everyday," he replied without hesitation. "But that doesn't mean I don't like Illinois. I'll always love Michigan, because it was where I was born. This state, this town, holds a lot of memories for me, you know? Some good. Some really, really bad. But this place is a part of me, no matter what I do. No matter how long I'm gone."

"That makes sense," said Natalie. "Are you ready to go in?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," said Keith, and without pausing he took a key out of his pocket and placed it in the doorknob. As soon as they walked inside, Keith halted.

Wanting to give Keith time, Natalie glanced around. The house was small in the inside as she expected. They had walked directly into the living room and she could see the kitchen on the other side of the living room; to the right of her was a set of stairs where she figured the bedrooms were. The house was still semi-furnished, which surprised her. If she hadn't known the circumstances, she would've assumed a family still lived in the house. Even though the house was small and a little messy, Natalie couldn't help but notice how comfortable and homey it felt. "It's really nice," said Natalie. It had been silent for too long and she wanted to make sure Keith was okay.

"Thanks," he said, voice soft and unnatural for him. "It's really weird being here."

Natalie studied Keith for a few seconds. He was ramrod straight and looked a little…lost. Taking his hand in hers and squeezing tightly she said, "Wanna show me around?"

"Yeah, okay," he said, smiling. "C'mon."

They started off in the kitchen. "This is the kitchen," said Keith and Natalie laughed. "My mom use to make the best chocolate chip pancakes. My dad and I would have competitions on who could eat the most. He almost always won."

"Against you?" said Natalie, aghast. "Now that's impressive."

After, they went back to the living where Keith told Natalie another one of his memories. Natalie like that he was doing this, especially since she hadn't asked. She couldn't fathom how hard it was for Keith to tell them; she was surprised he seemed so composed. "Every Friday we had movie night. We traded off on who got to pick the movie each weekend. My mom was always stuck watching action movies when my dad and I got to choose, so when it was her turn she always picked the sappiest romance movies she could find."

Small smile on her face Natalie said, "It sounds like you and your parents got along really well."

"Yeah," said Keith. "They were my best friends."

Natalie found this sweet; she loved her parents, but after listening to Keith, she could tell he had had a different relationship with his than she did hers. With her parents, she could go to them if she needed something, but she didn't have the close, personal relationship Keith had had with his.

This fact broke her heart, because losing parents was hard enough. But in one moment, Keith not only lost both his parents, he lost his best friends.

As they walked up the stairs, Keith told Natalie the story about how he would race his dad down them using sleeping bags. They only did this when his mom wasn't at home. Keith showed her his bedroom last. As soon as they walked in, she understood why.

It had the most emotional impact on him.

The composure he tried so hard to maintain disappeared almost instantly and he collapsed on his bed that was still there. Natalie could tell he was trying hard to gain his composure and not to cry, but he seemed to be losing the battle. Quietly, she sat down next to him, placing her hand on his in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. "You okay?" she whispered.

His lower lip was trembling and his eyes were getting red. "This was a lot harder than I thought," he whispered, voice tight. "I miss them so much. I miss my life with them. Everything is so different now. And it's not bad," he quickly added. "But, Natalie, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how I'm going to move on. A year from now, are they still going to be the first thing I think of when I wake up? Will I have to feel that loss every morning? Every day?" At this, he brought his hand up to hide his face and Natalie knew the tears had finally escaped and she wished he wasn't so ashamed he tried to hide them.

Gently, she pulled him down so he was lying on his back; she rested her head on his chest. His chest rose and fell with the force of his tears and she wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. "I don't know, sweetie, I don't know how it's going to be, but I promise you I will be there every step of the way."

He didn't reply to this; instead, he used his good arm and wrapped it around her, pulling her closer to him. It almost too tight, his grip, but she didn't care if it hurt. She wasn't going to make him let go.

Natalie wasn't sure how long they lied there, but when Keith had finally stopped crying he spoke. "Thanks for being here with me. You have no idea how much you have helped me these past few months. Without you, Natalie, I don't know what I would've of done. What I'd do without _you."_

Lifting her head, Natalie stared into Keith's eyes, wiping the few stray tears off his cheeks with her thumb. "You're welcome," she whispered. "Just know that you're stuck with me. I will never, ever let you go."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought! Only one more chapter to go (which I should have out in the next few weeks)! Thanks for reading!_


	23. Coming Home

**A/N: **_Here it is, readers, the ending to _Breathe_. I hope you all enjoy!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Three: Coming Home<strong>

Keith woke to darkness. It took him a few minutes to remember where he was, and when he did he rolled over to find Natalie fast asleep. By the lack of light they had been asleep for a long time.

Natalie's eyes opened just as he was about to grab for his cell phone and check the time. "Hi," she smiled, then yawned.

"Sleep well?" he asked, grinning at her. She looked so cute.

"I did," she said. "You?"

"With you I always sleep well."

Playfully, she hit him on the arm. "You're such a goof."

"What I am," he started, voice low, "is romantic."

"Uh huh," laughed Natalie. "Sure you are." She rolled onto her back and spread out. "This is a very comfy bed, by the way."

"It's small, you're about to roll right off."

Natalie sat up, yawned again, and then said, "I was not about to roll off. It's big enough for the two of us. What time is it, anyway? It's pretty dark out."

He fumbled in his pocket for his cell phone. When he read the time, his eyes got wide. "Oh, shit, it's after six."

"After six?" exclaimed Natalie, jumping out of bed. "We slept for almost four hours! How is that even possible? We slept in this morning."

"Must've been all that driving," suggested Keith.

And before he could say something Natalie rambled, starting to sound frantic, "We're supposed to be on the road by now!"

Keith sat up. "Hey, it's okay. Calm down. We can just stay longer. I'm sure my aunt will get us another night in that hotel—even though you broke their coffee machine."

Visibly, she relaxed. "Really?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding, "as long as your mom's okay with it."

"What'll we do tonight?"

A huge smile appeared on Keith's face at the possibilities. "I can give you a tour of where I grew up. Then we can go to dinner."

"And then tomorrow?"

"We go home."

"Home?" whispered Natalie. "Back here," —she gestured around Keith's room— "Or back to your aunt's?"

Keith knew why she was asking this. He had never used the term 'home' when referring to his aunt's house. But now, being here in his old house, it felt different. As much as he missed living here, home was where his aunt was. Where Natalie lived. "Home. To Illinois."

And when Natalie smiled, eyes twinkling, Keith knew she liked his answer.

* * *

><p>"I'm never going to finish. It's not going to happen," groaned Keith as he eyed the tall pile of paper on his desk. It had been two weeks since Michigan and his cast had been removed today. Now that the cast was gone and he could write again he was ready to catch up on all his homework he hadn't done for the last month.<p>

"Don't be so pessimistic," said Natalie.

"Pessimistic?" muttered Keith. "You try to be _optimistic_ when you have a pile the size of Mount Everest on your desk." Yesterday, Keith had gone to all of his teachers, given a short explanation on what had been going on the past month, and then asked if he could make up his homework. Luckily, every teacher agreed.

"Now that," started Natalie, "is just being dramatic."

"You're not the one with a month of makeup homework you have to in one week." That had been the only downside to the whole deal. Most of his teachers had given him a one-week deadline.

"Look on the bright side, I'll be here all weekend with you. That'll make it better, right?" Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him and he grinned against her lips.

"I think you'll be a distraction," he admitted, leaning forward and kissing her again.

Trying to look serious (which was incredibly adorable, because she was so bad at it), Natalie pulled away and flopped onto Keith's bed. "Nope, I told you. It'll be like I'm not even here. I'll do some homework, watch television, read…I'll behave; I won't distract you."

"Sure you won't," chuckled Keith as he sat down at his desk. He stared at the looming pile of homework for a minute before he sorted it out into subjects.

He started with math.

Natalie behaved herself for the first hour. Long enough for him to get though a good portion of his math homework. The homework was easy, and he didn't have to spend too much time trying to figure out new equations and formulas. This was why he picked math first: he could get a lot done quickly. There was still a rather large pile of math homework to do, and he was sure he'd be filling out worksheets and answering questions in his math book a majority of the night, but still he liked that he was making progress.

He was almost done with another section of math homework when Natalie screamed, causing Keith to jump and drop his calculator onto the floor. "What the hell?" he exclaimed. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" He stared at her; she was on her back, resting her head on one of his pillows, looking at her phone.

"What?" asked Natalie, moving the phone away from her face to glance at him. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to make that noise. Brooke just sent me the cutest picture of a baby owl."

"That noise? It sounded like you heard your favorite boy band, like the Backstreet Boys, was getting back together. That was not just a noise, that was a scream."

"For your information, Keith, 'N Sync was my favorite boy band. _Not_ Backstreet Boys."

"Oh, sorry. My bad," replied Keith sarcastically. "They all sounded the same anyway."

A pillow attacked him, knocking a few piles of paper onto the ground. "Natalie!"

She giggled. "'N Sync was way better than Backstreet Boys. Take that back! Take it back!"

Ignoring her, Keith said, "I thought you said you were going to behave yourself tonight."

"I did! I am!"

"You were quiet for one hour. _One_."

Lowering her lip out in a pout she said, "But I'm bored. How about you take a break and come over here?"

"Don't do that," warned Keith.

"Can't you take a break and kiss your girlfriend for a few minutes?"

"Not if my girlfriend expects me to take said break every sixty minutes."

"I won't!" Keith didn't need her to ask twice. He was on the bed and kissing her in less than a second. "Is the door locked?" she mumbled against his lips.

"Yes," Keith lied. He knew it wasn't locked, and he also knew if he said it wasn't Natalie would make him get up and do so. And he was really having too much fun kissing her.

They were almost undressed when Keith heard commotion upstairs. He was planning on ignoring it until he heard voices and the sound of someone crying. Reluctantly, he pulled away.

"Who's here?" wondered Natalie.

"I think it might be Jake's parents."

* * *

><p>"What's going on?" asked Keith as soon as he took the scene in; Natalie stood behind him, peering over his shoulder to watch. It <em>was <em>Jake's parents. Hannah was sitting on the couch, tears streaming down her face and Melissa was sitting next to her, rubbing circles on her back. Rob was standing next to the couch, ramrod straight and with a very serious look on his face. He nodded at Keith, but didn't say anything. "Uh, Aunt Melissa?" prompted Keith.

Finally Melissa lifted her head and said, "Hannah and Rob came over to tell me something. About Jake."

Keith felt himself freeze. When he had told his aunt about Jake, he hadn't thought about how it would affect Jake's parents. They were so nice; they didn't deserve this. "Look, I'm really sorry," said Keith quickly. "I didn't want you to be—"

"—You stop right there," interrupted Hannah, lifting her head and staring at Keith with fire in her eyes. "You do not apologize for what my son did to you. Never, ever apologize for that."

"Okay," whispered Keith, confused. He figured they had come over because they found out had left the city, but Keith was beginning to think he was wrong. Something else was going on. "I won't." This reaction seemed to calm Hannah down enough so she wasn't crying anymore. Sitting up straight in her seat, she said, "Rob and I came over here because we have some news."

As Keith waited for Hannah to continue, Natalie moved so she was standing next to him. "We heard from Jake," she started. "After you called us, Melissa, and told us about what Jake had done, we tried to get a hold of him. He never answered. For two weeks, we had no idea where he was. Then, he showed up on our front door last night."

"Really?" said Melissa. "And to think, all along we thought he was halfway across the country."

It sounded like Melissa had been talking with Jake's parents since Keith had told her. She must have, he realized, had a lot closer relationship with Jake's parents than Keith realized. He knew now telling his aunt about Jake was the right thing to do, but that didn't stop him from feeling sad. Melissa had lost her future. She had probably expected to marry Jake; have Hannah and Rob become her family. That had all been torn away from her in one conversation.

"Yup, right on our front door. At eleven o'clock no less. According to Jake he never even left the town. He stayed in a hotel until he ran out of money. Tried to stay with us for a while. That didn't last long."

"Where is he now?" asked Natalie, surprising Keith.

"We called the cops on him," said Rob, voice gruff and straightforward.

"What else could we do? We love our son. That's not something we can ever stop doing. But we will not let our son get away with hurting children."

Silence filled the room for a few seconds. Keith didn't know what to say. What did you say to someone who basically put their child behind bars?

Melissa was the first speak. "I don't know what to say. I can't thank you enough."

"I want you to know," said Hannah, "that we did not raise our soon to act like this. We never hit him; we never neglected him in any way. I have no idea why he did what he did and I don't think I can apologize enough for his behavior. As his parents, we feel responsible for his actions."

"Don't," said Keith, feeling that he needed to be the one to say this. "Jake was—is—a grown man. Please, whatever you do. Don't blame yourself."

"Thank you," said Hannah.

Turning to Melissa, Hannah said, "I think you already know I view you as part of our family. I love you like a daughter. This won't change that."

* * *

><p>"You look good." This was the first thing Al said when Keith walked into his office and sat down in his normal chair. Keith didn't say anything; he just sat there waiting for Al to continue. He always had more to say. "You look good. It seems like Michigan was a good choice. I'll be honest, I was hesitant to let you go, but I'm glad I did."<p>

"I'll glad you did too. If you hadn't, I would've had to sneak to Michigan and that probably wouldn't have gone over well."

"Which is one reason why I agreed, even with my reservations."

Keith smirked. "It's kind of creepy you know me that well."

Al shrugged. "Your eyes give a lot away." Then, he added, "Tell me about Michigan. How'd it go? How'd it make you feel?"

Instinctively, Keith flinched at the words. Only once had he really voiced out loud what he was feeling in front of Al, and he knew how hard that had been. He didn't like opening himself up to people. But he knew if he wanted to move on he needed to do open himself, talk with Al. "It was hard," he finally spoke. "Harder than I thought. One the first night, I sat in my truck for hours. I never did make it into my parents' house."

"But you finally did?"

Nodding Keith said, "Yeah. Natalie, um, she showed up. She was the reason I was able to finally go inside. I'm not sure I would've been able to do it without her."

Al looked happy. "You and Natalie aren't fighting anymore?"

"Nope, not anymore." Al winked. Actually, winked at him. Keith rolled his eyes. "What?"

"Nothing," smiled Al. "Nothing at all."

"Sure." Keith finished telling Al how his trip had gone; he told him about meeting Bret, about showing Natalie around, how it made him feel when he left. How he had felt after getting on the highway and heading home. And that he had been right. Going to Michigan and seeing his parents' house had been a good first step in moving on.

"I'm happy to hear that, Keith. I'm glad you're finally opening up to people, but to yourself as well."

Keith was certain, after they had finished talking about Michigan, Al would bring up his broken arm…and Jake. Keith was positive Al had to know about Jake. But to Keith's relief Al didn't bring it up (he wasn't ready to talk about that), and instead asked him about his sleeping habits.

"I still have nightmares," started Keith. "For a while, during and after Michigan, I didn't have as many, but then they came back. They _always_ come back."

Al jolted some notes down and then asked, "Do you still take those caffeine pills?"

"Yeah," answered Keith quickly. "I do. Sometimes I don't, and I take those sleeping pills you gave me…but then I'll have a bad nightmare and won't sleep much for a few days. I have to take a lot more for them to really work."

"Here's what I suggest, Keith, stop taking them." Keith opened his mouth to protest but Al quickly continued, "I know that's a simple and obvious suggestion and I know you're not stupid. You know they're bad for you. But you're never going to get over your nightmares if you only fall asleep when your body literally can't stay awake anymore."

"Yeah, I know I should stop taking them. I know they're bad for me. But I'd rather risk taking those than having nightmares."

"The mind is a complex thing, Keith. When you fear something, sometimes it only makes it worse. Maybe if you stop fearing sleep so much you won't have as many nightmares. This is all speculation, but I think this is a good place to start. Stop taking the pills, start sleeping a normal schedule, and we'll work from there. How's that sound?"

For a few minutes, Keith contemplated this; he wasn't sure why it took him so long to reply. He knew, deep down, he couldn't take caffeine pills and force himself to stay awake his whole life. "I'll try," he said, because as much as he wanted to do what Al was asking of him, he didn't want to promise something unless he was positive he could do it.

But one thing he did know? When he got home, he was getting rid of his pills.

* * *

><p>As soon as Keith got home, he searched his room for every bottle of caffeine pills he could find. All he wanted was to get rid of them. He had a handful of five bottles when Natalie crawled through his window.<p>

"What are you doing?" she asked nervously, glancing at the bottle of pills in his hand. "Are you okay?" Quickly, she walked toward him. From where he was standing, she wouldn't be able to tell what kind of pills he had in his hand.

"They're my caffeine pills," he said as she neared him.

"What are you doing with them?" she asked hesitantly, staring into his eyes. Keith could tell she was trying to gage his mood, see if his was okay.

"Getting rid of them."

She blinked in surprise. "What? Really?"

"Yeah," he said. "I decided something. If I'm tired, I'm going to sleep. And I'm not going to worry about nightmares. I think if I keep worrying about having them, they'll never stop. Getting rid of these pills is the first step."

"I think that's a great idea," smiled Natalie. "What made you decide this?"

Keith hesitated. He had told Natalie almost everything, but he hadn't told her about Al yet. About counseling. He wasn't going to hide it from her anymore. "Counseling," he admitted.

"Counseling?"

"Yeah," he said, trying not to look ashamed, because even if he did feel shame, he knew it was stupid. "I've been going since January."

"Is it helping?" she asked.

"I think it's starting to." She smiled and Keith grinned back. "Sorry I didn't tell you until now."

"The important thing is you told me, right?"

"Right." Glancing down at his pile of pills he said, "Wanna help?"

"Duh!"

They raced each other to the short distance to his bathroom. Keith handed her a few bottles and together they dumped all of the pills in the toilet. After Keith flushed, Natalie said, "I think this calls for something special." Her eyes were sparkling, two tiny diamonds. Keith couldn't believe himself for a minute. How could someone like Natalie exist?

And how was she his?

"What's that?" he asked, mimicking her playful tone.

"We finish off our quest list. We each only have one left."

"I guess we have plans tonight," said Keith, excitement filling him. "Operation: Mystery Pie Recipe."

* * *

><p>Keith was standing in front of Natalie's house, leaning against the garage door waiting for Natalie. She had instructed him to show up at her house at exactly four in he morning. They had to change their schedule to work around Julie's; they weren't about to attempt to sneak into Julie's office while she was at the diner. Like clockwork, Julie left the diner at four in the morning and didn't show back up until the afternoon.<p>

Glancing at Keith's watch, he stared at the door. Five minutes had passed and there was no sign of Natalie. He was just about to grab his phone and call her when the front door quietly opened and Natalie snuck out.

"Hi!" she said, smiling. Her smile didn't stay on her face long. "I told you to wear black!" she hissed.

"I am wearing black!" hissed Keith back.

"Those," she said pointing to his jeans, "are not black!"

"You wanted me to wear black jeans, too?" he asked, aghast. It was then he narrowed his eyes and got a good look at his girlfriend. She was wearing a tight turtleneck, leggings, and boots. All black.

"Uh, yes. When I said dress in black, I meant all black!"

"Don't you think that's a bit excessive? We're going to look ridiculous walking into the diner wearing all black."

Even thought it was dark and Keith couldn't see Natalie very well, he knew she rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. I planned for this to happen." And then she took off her backpack, unzipped it, and threw something at Keith. It hit him in the head; he was pretty sure she had aimed there.

Black sweatpants.

"Take those off." She pointed to his jeans again, then leaned back against her porch railing, and crossed her arms.

"You want me to undress on your front porch?"

She shrugged. "It's your fault you didn't dress properly. Plus, it's still dark out. No one will see you but me."

For a few moments, Keith stood there dumfounded. Then he realized Natalie wasn't joking. She wasn't going to budge and if he took long enough, it was going to start getting light out. "Fine," he spat and quickly he took his jeans off and threw the sweatpants on.

"Good boy," said Natalie when he was dressed.

"You owe me."

She laughed and then ran a few feet and hopped off the porch. "C'mon," she said. "It'll take us a few minutes to get there."

"We're walking?"

Natalie huffed loudly. "Geez, you really don't know how this works, do you?"

"Uh, I figured we were just going to go to the diner and sneak into the back at some point." At Natalie's dubious look he added, "No, I guess I have no idea how to do this."

"Let me remind you of the time we snuck into the movie theatre and you got caught."

"Okay, okay," said Keith. "I get it."

"Good."

The diner wasn't very far; they were standing in the back of the building less than twenty minutes later. "So," began Keith, "what's the plan?"

"We wait until someone comes out that door," she pointed to a black, heavy-looking door a few feet away. "We're disguised enough they shouldn't see us. Then we sneak in behind them. Julie's office should be the first door on the left." Keith wanted to ask how she even knew this.

He didn't have any time to respond, because the door suddenly opened and an employee carrying trash stepped out. Natalie grabbed Keith's arm and dragged him through before the door closed.

On the other side of the door was a narrow hallway with a bunch of doors. Julie's office wasn't the first on the left like Natalie thought. "Shit," said Natalie, "We need to try all the doors." They were on their third door when the door they had come through opened. For a second, they both froze. Then they both grabbed the doorknob and opened the door they had been about to check; they tumbled through. They lied on the floor in a tumbled heap with bated breath. After a few minutes passed, Keith figured the guy was gone. "That was close."

"This is her office!" exclaimed Natalie.

"Shhh!" hushed Keith. "Those doors aren't soundproofed, you know!"

"Oh, right!" She giggled. _Giggled_. "I'm not really sure where she'd keep the recipe, so I'll start on the bookcases; you try her desk."

For the next hour, they worked diligently. Keith had finished with the desk a few minutes ago and was helping Natalie with the remaining shelf on the bookcase. When they were done, they stood up, defeated. "Maybe she doesn't keep it here," muttered Natalie, sounding sad.

Turning around to face the room, Keith looked around. They were going to find this recipe if it was the last thing they did; he couldn't stand seeing Natalie so upset. His eyes trailed the desk, the bookcases, and then to the rug. "Come help me move this," he said, kneeling down and grabbing a corner of the rug. Natalie kneeled down next to him and they moved the rug across the room.

Keith started touching the floorboards. When one moved, he felt around until he touched a raised corner. With his fingers, he raised the board and they both peered inside.

A small, red box was stuffed in the tiny space. Carefully, Natalie picked it up and opened it. Inside was a letter.

_Natalie and Keith,_

_This letter may freak you out. If it does, then my job is complete. I figure you have a lot of questions. Let me explain._

_A few months ago, when I was serving you two Mystery Pie, I caught sight of your lists. Quest lists I think you call them. Sneakily, I read them. I'll have to say, I was pretty tickled to see your fifth quest on each of your lists._

_I'll have you know, I'm the only person in this whole world who knows the Mystery Pie recipe. I make them all, just so I don't have to tell my chefs the recipe._

_But I decided to make an exception. I was going to give you guys the recipe. But I never make things easy. I wanted to see if you had guts. So, I hid the recipe. I know, I know, I sound like I encouraged you to sneak into my office. But what the heck!_

_Anyway, when you flip this paper over I have listed exactly how to make Mystery Pie. A recipe I know you, Natalie, have asked me about for years. You have it now. I only ask one thing of you._

_Keep the recipe to yourself. Treasure it._

_Your friend,_

_Julie_

A few minutes passed, at least, before Natalie spoke up. "I can't believe this."

"Me either," said Keith. "This is totally cool."

He went to turn the paper over, but Natalie placed her hand on his wrist to stop him.

"Wait!"

At his quizzical look Natalie said, "I'm not sure we should read this."

"What? Why? After all of this you don't want to read the recipe? Are you losing it, partner?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "No, I'm not. I just…it makes me sad."

"Why?"

"Because then our quest lists will be done."

"But, partner," breathed Keith. "There's no reason we can't add onto our lists. There will always be things we want to do. That won't stop. We'll have plenty more quests to add to our lists. Time is on our side."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. We can make new lists tomorrow even."

She smiled that beautiful smile of hers and Keith's stomach flipped. "You're right," she said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before leaning against him. "Turn that paper over and read to me."

_Fin._

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><p><strong>AN:** _Writing this story was a blast, and I'm really sad it's finished. I want to thank everyone who stuck with me during the year and a half it took me to write this. I couldn't have finished this without you guys. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and read _Breathe_. You are all awesome._


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